Family Matters

Subtitle: The Importance of Handling Conflict in the Church

INTRODUCTION

“Pants”

Have you ever heard of a pair of pants worth $67 million dollars?

That’s how much a man sued a dry cleaner for in 2007,

when he claimed they lost his pants and gave him the wrong pair.

He lost the case because he couldn’t prove the pants he got back weren’t his.

“No Job”

In 2009, a woman sued the college she graduated from for $72,000.

She claimed the school didn’t do enough to help her find a job,

so she sued to get the $70,000 back from the cost of her education, plus $2,000 for emotional stress.

She might have won, but she got a job before the case was finished.

“Wrong Forecast”

In 1996, a woman in Israel sued the weather station for getting the weather wrong.

The forecaster said it would be sunny, but it ended up storming and rainy.

She claimed that since she was unprepared for the rain, she got wet, got sick, and missed a week of work.

She sued for $1,000, and also wanted an apology.

The TV station ended up settling and giving her the $1,000 and her apology.

Can you imagine if the weather station had to apologize every time they got the weather wrong???

Court TV

People sue for the craziest reasons,

and it must be pretty entertaining,

since there are so many court shows on tv.

I used to enjoy watching court tv.

It was pretty humorous to watch these people bicker and argue on television.

The most exciting part of watching is when the judge gets upset,

and you know the judge is gonna let them have it!

Someone will start to interrupt or talk over the judge,

and you’re like, “I wouldn’t do that!”

While it is amusing at times,

it’s also pretty sad to watch people bickering and fighting.

At times they yell and argue…

they blame one another…

they slander and lie to try and get out of it.

You wonder why someone would want to humiliate themselves like that on tv.

Who knows how many thousands of people are watching you fight and argue and embarrass yourselves!

Transition

This morning we are continuing a series in the letter of 1 Corinthians.

This is exactly what was happening with the Corinthians.

They were taking each other to court,

fighting and arguing…

airing their dirty laundry in front of non-believers.

What they failed to recognize was that these were…

(Introduce Title)

Family Matters

When we are saved by Christ,

we are saved into His family.

Since we are now brothers and sisters in Christ,

we take care of each other and help each other,

because “Family Matters”.

As God’s children, and brothers and sisters in Christ,

we have been forgiven our sin,

and we have Christ’s Spirit, BUT…

we still sin against one another.

And so we have… “Family Matters”.

And when we do, we should not sue one another and take our issues to the world… because…

Family Matters need to be handled in the Church

BILLBOARD

Today we are going to see…

The Importance of Handling Conflict in the Church.

Handling family matters outside the church Is a failure to:

Recognize your position

Protect your witness

Remember your new identity

PRAYER FOR ILLUMINATION

God…

(Full Title Slide)

Family Matters

SCRIPTURE ANNOUNCEMENT

1 Corinthians 6:1—11.

SCRIPTURE INTRODUCTION

Last week, Pastor Jake showed us how Paul wanted the Church to handle “Family Matters”.

There was a man who was already found to be guilty of sin.

Paul didn’t tell them to go ask a court to help them…

He called them to deal with the issue themselves!

Paul makes the point that believers are not to judge the world…

believers are to judge one another!

1 Corinthians 5:12–13 ESV

12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

As Christians, we are SUPPOSED to judge one another!

Hold on a second… I thought we WEREN’T supposed to judge one another?

Didn’t Jesus say in Matt 7:1…

Matthew 7:1 ESV

1 “Judge not, that you be not judged.

Jesus is speaking against hypocrisy.

He is giving a warning to those who simply want to point out others flaws,

but have no desire to deal with their own.

They are looking at the speck in their brothers eye,

when they have a log in their own.

But look at what Jesus goes on to say…

Matthew 7:5 (ESV)

5 first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

As Jake mentioned last week,

followers of Christ must strive for holiness.

First, in our own lives,

and then the lives of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

In order to do that, we need to judge!

We need to learn how to discern what is sin and what is not,

so that we can walk and grow together in the Lord.

SCRIPTURE

1 Corinthians 6:1–11 ESV

1 When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers! 9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

The first reason we must not handle family matters outside the church is because…

1. Handling Family Matters Outside the Church Is A Failure to Recognize Your Position

Paul begins by saying, “WHEN one of you has a grievance against another…”

He knows that inevitably, Christians will still sin against and hurt one another.

Christians still struggle with their flesh and sin, so there will be conflict.

But then Paul says…

“does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?”

The NLT says…

“how dare you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter instead of taking it to other believers!”

***Important Note***

“the disputes Paul condemns regard civil law and not criminal law. Criminal law is for punishing people who commit crimes that harm society, and civil law is for resolving private disputes about money and possessions . — Andrew Naselli

(e.g., in first-century Corinth that included violent offenses, treason, and embezzlement)

(e.g., inheritance, business dealings, property)

***End of Important Note***

Here Paul is talking about private legal matters.

These should be handled in the Church,

but the Corinthians were taking them to secular courts.

They did not recognize their position in Christ!

EXPLAIN

Paul goes on to show them that as Christians…

a. You have Christ’s authority

1 Corinthians 6:2–3 ESV

2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life!

As God’s people,

we are going to participate with Christ in the final judgement of the world… even angels!

We are not told exactly what this will look like,

but we are given a glimpse in Rev 20:4…

Revelation 20:4 ESV

4 Then I saw thrones, and seated on them were those to whom the authority to judge was committed. Also I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for the testimony of Jesus and for the word of God, and those who had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ for a thousand years.

Jesus has been given all authority on heaven and on earth!

And since we have been united with Him,

one day we will reign with Him!

Paul’s point here,

is that if you are going to participate in the final judgement with Christ,

then what makes you think you’re not capable of handling some minor disagreements on earth?

Summary

Since the Church has Christ’s authority,

we should take our conflicts to the Church, not the world.

Paul also goes on to show them that as Christians…

b. You have Christ’s wisdom

1 Corinthians 6:4–5 ESV

4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers,

Paul continues to make the point that they have wisdom through the Spirit of Christ,

and therefore should have no problem deciding between two fellow believers.

Earlier in the letter Paul says he is not trying to make them ashamed,

but here he doesn’t hold back!

You have the authority of Christ, and the wisdom of Christ

and yet you’re still taking these cases to those with no standing in the Church?!?

Even if an issue is brought to someone and they don’t know the answer,

they could bring it to others in the church…

and eventually the elders…

Surely someone in the Church can handle these small grievances!

Summary

The Corinthians were handling family matters outside the church

because they failed to recognize their position.

They had Christ’s authority and wisdom,

and therefore they should be handling these conflicts within the Church.

ILLUSTRATE

Many of you in here are parents.

Some of you have younger children,

and you know that your kids come to you 1,000 times a day with problems.

Now that it’s summer time, I’m sure you’re hearing a lot of these!!

someone scraped a knee…

someone stole a toy…

someone called someone else a name…

someone wants a snack…

someone wants to watch a show or play video games.

Now you as a parent, you may get incredibly annoyed at some of the requests,

but you know that you’re more than capable of handling/resolving them.

I want you to imagine for a moment that your kids come in the room and say…

“Hey mom, we were fighting, so we went to the neighbour’s house and

she spanked little brother…”

“We also told her we weren’t happy because you were making us do no screen summer,

so she let us watch tv and play video games at her house.”

“We also told her you don’t let us have enough snacks,

and she said she would phone someone who would come to the house and help…

I think she said CAS…”

You would upset! “You don’t take our family issues to the neighbours!”

Your neighbours don’t operate under the same rules…

Your neighbours don’t have the same authority over your kids that you do…

Your neighbours don’t have the same wisdom from God’s Word that you do…

Summary

You know that God has given you these children,

and has put you in place to raise them in the fear of the Lord.

You know that you have the ability to handle their requests,

and to know what’s best for them.

APPLY

This is the same idea when it comes to the Church.

God has called us out of the world, and into His family…

He has given us His Word to follow…

He has given us authority and wisdom from Christ and His Spirit…

So when we have problems,

we should not go to court against one another…

we should not even take our issue to a non-believer at all…

because they are a part of the world… and

they don’t follow the same rules we do…

they don’t have authority and wisdom from Christ…

they aren’t concerned about holiness, and restoration…

So when it comes to minor grievances, and complaints because of sin against one another,

we should take them to the saints.

They have God’s Spirit, God’s authority, and God’s wisdom!

When you have an issue with another believer,

ask a brother or sister you respect to help resolve the issue.

If they can’t solve it, then ask someone else,

or else bring it to the leaders of the Church.

Surely there’s someone in the Church who can resolve the issue!

Summary

We must handle “Family Matters” within the church,

because Christ has given us His authority and wisdom,

so that we can walk in love and unity.

The next reason we must not handle family matters outside the church is because…

2. Handling Family Matters Outside the Church Is A Failure to Protect Your Witness

Paul began by reminding the Corinthians that they had the capacity to deal with these issues that were coming up.

As Christ’s people, the family of God, they should not be going to the world.

They had the authority and wisdom they needed to resolve issues.

But the Corinthians HAD been going to the courts with their problems.

and now Paul is going to talk about the negative effects this is having on their witness.

EXPLAIN

Paul rebukes them by saying…

a. You’re harming the reputation of Christ

1 Corinthians 6:6 ESV

6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers?

You are family… brothers and sisters in Christ…

and you’re dragging your family matters in front of unbelievers???

Come on you guys!

As believers we are called to be salt and light…

We are called to be the aroma of Christ…

Jesus said the world is going to know you’re my disciples by your love…

The way we live as the family of God is supposed to attract people to it.

What kind of example can you be when you’re dragging each other to court,

airing your dirty laundry in public court?

What is attractive about bickering, arguing, and complaining?!?

Summary

When you treat one another like this,

you’re harming the reputation of Christ!

Paul also rebukes them by saying…

b. You’re harming the family of Christ

1 Corinthians 6:7–8 ESV

7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!

What Paul is saying here is

that if you have a lawsuit with another believer,

you’ve already lost the battle!

You had an issue with your brother or sister in Christ,

so you took them to court,

and now you’re having to lay your case against them,

giving all the reasons you believe their guilty,

and if you win they have to compensate you…

In all of that, what have you accomplished?

You’ve harmed the reputation of Christ and the Church,

and you’ve harmed your brother and sister in Christ.

Yea, you won your case, but that means they lost,

and what effect that does on your fellowship in Christ?

How can you sit in church together worshiping God?

Wouldn’t it have been better for you to have been wronged?

Wouldn’t it have been better for you to have been defrauded?

I don’t think Paul is saying that you should just be willing to be wronged and defrauded.

He’s just told them to deal with sin in the church,

and to bring their cases to the church to be dealt with.

If the church never dealt with sinners,

it would be enabling that sin to continue,

and grow in the church.

I think he’s making the point that if you’re only options are:

taking your brother or sister in Christ to court…

and just taking the loss yourself…

taking the loss for yourself is better!

Summary

But there is a way for “Family Matters” to be dealt with…

within the family… the Church.

This is how we protect the reputation and family of Christ.

ILLUSTRATE

After God brought the Israelites out of Egypt,

He brought them to the edge of the land He promised them.

Then he commanded them to send spies to check out the land,

and when they came back they told everyone how great the land was.

There was only one problem…

the people were huge!

Out of fear, the Israelites disobeyed God and did not go into the land,

and tried to kill Moses, Aaron, Joshua and Caleb.

Then God came down in His glory,

and told Moses that He was going to kill all the people with a plague,

and make a greater and mightier nation through Moses.

But listen to Moses’ response…

Numbers 14:13–16 (ESV)

13 But Moses said to the Lord, “Then the Egyptians will hear of it, for you brought up this people in your might from among them, 14 and they will tell the inhabitants of this land. They have heard that you, O Lord, are in the midst of this people.

For you, O Lord, are seen face to face, and your cloud stands over them and you go before them, in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night.

15 Now if you kill this people as one man, then the nations who have heard your fame will say, 16 ‘It is because the Lord was not able to bring this people into the land that he swore to give to them that he has killed them in the wilderness.’

What an incredible response from Moses!

If you’re like me,

then when you read that story,

or maybe even when you were hearing it now, you’re thinking…

“Give it to ‘em God!”

It would feel really good for them to get what they deserve right?!?

But Moses has a greater concern than revenge…

He is concerned that God’s reputation would be harmed…

that the nations will think less of God…

and was not powerful enough to bring them to their own land.

But Moses is not just concerned about God’s reputation…

He’s also concerned about God’s people being harmed.

Look what Moses says next…

Numbers 14:17–19 (ESV)

17 And now, please let the power of the Lord be great as you have promised, saying, 18 ‘The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’

19 Please pardon the iniquity of this people, according to the greatness of your steadfast love, just as you have forgiven this people, from Egypt until now.”

And God did pardon them.

There were consequences as a result of their sin,

but God was gracious and forgave them.

Summary

Even though the Israelites deserved death,

Moses prayed to God on their behalf,

because he had a greater concern for God’s reputation, and His people.

APPLY

Brothers and sisters,

As followers of Christ,

we must strive to have the same heart as Moses and Paul!

We must strive to protect our witness!

We need to have a greater desire for God’s glory, and the good of one another,

than our own personal vengeance and gain.

I’m not sure if any of you are considering suing one another,

but if you are, don’t do it… bring it to the church!

The church is concerned ultimately about God’s glory,

and the good of ALL believers.

A worldly court is not concerned about either of those things.

Maybe you’re not considering suing someone,

but maybe you want to see a brother or sister “Get what they deserve”…

or maybe you’re watching them “get what they deserve”…

and if you’re honest…

you’re enjoying it.

We have all been there…

but we have to call it out as sin!

We are being fleshly minded,

and not spiritually minded.

We must pray and seek to have hearts that are concerned to protect our witness…

to protect God’s glory…

to protect our brothers and sisters in Christ.

even being willing to suffer ourselves in order to protect God and our family!

Sermon Summary

As the family of God through Christ, we must handle family issues within the Church because:

Christ has given us His authority and wisdom… and

to protect Christ’s reputation and family…

The next reason we must not handle family matters outside the church is because…

3. Handling Family Matters Outside the Church Is A Failure to Remember Your New Identity

Paul was not writing this to a Jewish church.

They would not have needed this instruction,

since they would have grown up with God’s law and instruction,

and had systems in place to deal with their own conflict.

Paul is writing this to the Corinthian Church.

They were Gentiles,

meaning that they did not grow up with God’s law.

They were used to doing things along with culture,

and so they sued one another, since that what was normal in their culture.

But now God had saved them into His family.

They now had a new identity,

and needed to learn God’s way of handling “Family Matters”.

EXPLAIN

So Paul reminds them of what they were before God saved them…

a. You were stained with sin and dead in your flesh

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 (ESV)

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you.

Before God saved them,

the Corinthians were being led by their flesh,

and they were dead in their sin!

Paul is not saying if you commit these sins you will not inherit the kingdom of God,

since it is possible for a Christian to commit these sins.

Paul IS saying to watch out for these sins,

because a person whose life is characterized by these sins,

and has not truly trusted in Jesus,

is not a believer!

This is why we need to be confronting these sins!

A non-believer will not see the problem with their lifestyle and will not desire to change.

A believer who has Christ’s Spirit will understand it is sin,

show remorse, and be willing to work toward turning away from it,

and walking in obedience to Jesus.

Summary

Paul is telling the Corinthians to stop looking like their past!

This is how you once walked,

stained with sin, and dead in the desires of your flesh,

but that is your old life!

Now….

b. You are washed clean and alive in the Spirit

1 Corinthians 6:11 (ESV)

11 But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Paul is saying that to live in sin now is inconsistent with what Christ has done for you!

You were washed:

When you received a new heart through the Spirit,

your sin was washed away.

This is symbolized in baptism…

the cleansing and washing away of our sin.

You were sanctified:

Since we have are in Christ through His Spirit,

we are holy and set apart for service to God.

We no longer live for our flesh.

You were justified:

Though you had a long rap-sheet, a long list of sins in your name,

you have been declared righteous.

This is not because you can be good enough,

but because you have received Christ’s righteousness through faith.

Summary

The Corinthians were handling their family matters the same way they did before,

when they were dead in sin and led by their flesh.

They had forgotten their new identity in Christ,

that they were a holy family,

saved to grow together and build God’s kingdom.

ILLUSTRATE

Moses and Israelites in the wilderness (Exodus 18).

They were slaves in Egypt, and oppressed through their laws/rules.

But God saved them and called them to new, better laws, and a better hope!

Why would they want to go back to the old life???

APPLY

Brothers and sisters,

if we see sins like the ones listed here being committed by those who profess to be followers of Christ,

we must confront those sins,

because eternity is at stake!

Maybe you know of a Christian who has

stolen…

is caught in sexual sin…

taking advantage of others…

don’t handle this issue by taking them to court,

or trying to get them in trouble with a worldly boss…

go and confront them, or bring it to the church!

They need to be reminded of their new identity in Christ!

They have been washed…

They have been sanctified…

They have been justified in Christ!

As followers of Jesus,

we have been saved and forgiven,

but we still struggle in our sin,

and we need one another to strive to live out the holiness

that Christ has already accomplished for us.

Sermon Summary

We must remember our new identity in Christ,

and strive to walk together as the family of God.

CONCLUSION

ILLUSTRATION

If you have children,

then I’m sure you’ve dealt with

disagreements,

fighting, and

name-calling in your home.

As a parent, you have to correct them,

discipline them, and show them God’s ways.

What you long for is peace in your home!

You want your children to:

get along,

value one another, and

work together.

Even that they would learn to be able to work their problems out with one another,

instead of being stubborn and fighting.

Transition

That is what God wants for His family.

He wants His children to

strive for peace and unity,

recognizing their unique gifts,

and working together so that we grow together in love.

We are going to have problems,

because on this side of heaven we still struggle with sin and our flesh…

but we don’t take our problems to the world,

we resolve them ourselves, because:

We have authority and wisdom from Christ…

We want to protect the witness of Christ… and

We want to live out our identity in Christ.

Key Ideas/Closing Thoughts

What practical steps can we take when we have an issue?

If you have sinned against someone… take the first step!

Matthew 5:23–24 ESV

23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Can you think of someone who has something against you this morning?

Then what are you doing here?

If you cannot love your brother who you can see,

then how do you expect to love God whom you cannot see?

Don’t let another day pass where you have sin separating you from your family in Christ!

Go and confess your sin,

and seek forgiveness and restoration.

If someone has sinned against you… take the first step!

Matthew 18:15–17 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

If someone has sinned against you,

you must love them enough to initiate!

Don’t gossip about it to other people…

this does nothing to help them recognize their sin.

Give them an opportunity to confess their sin and make it right,

and seek forgiveness and restoration.

If anyone sins… forgive!

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

As those who have received such incredible forgiveness from Christ,

we should the most forgiving of all people!

Always seek to grant forgiveness to one another,

and seek to restore relationships broken by sin,

since God has so graciously forgiven you!

Gospel

Maybe you’re here this morning,

and you are not a part of the family of God…

Maybe you’ve even seen for yourself as Christians fight and argue,

and handle conflict in childish ways, and you want no part of it.

I am sorry that you have seen that.

We are Christians,

but we are not perfect,

We are sinners and we do not always act the way we should.

But we don’t put our trust in ourselves…

we put our trust in Christ!

And if you’re honest with yourself,

you know that you have sin in your life as well.

As you think back on your life,

you can see many times you didn’t act the way you should.

The problem is…

that sin separates you from God!