Untitled Sermon (2)

PRAY FOR ACCOUNTABILITY AND HONESY AMONG OURSELVES AND THE CHURCH

NOT ADDICTED TO WINE 1 TIM 3:3

The problem of addiction. Addiction is a serious and widespread problem in and culture, especially alcoholism. Just a few statistics to start off to set the scene for talking about alcoholism.

From the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism: In 2022, 10.5% of all people in America aged 12 and older suffers from Alcohol Use Disorder.

12.6% of all males 12 and older, and 8.5% of all females aged 12 and older.

CDC: Alcohol related death shorter your lifespan by an average of 24 years.

NIAAA It is the 7th leading cause of death world wide.

Alcohloism is a serious problem as is any addiction.

Galatians 5:19–21 (CSB)

19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy,, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Alcoholism is one of the works of the flesh, as is any other addiction that would enslave you to it.

What is it about addiction that is so counter to Scripture?

As Gene Getz said “alcoholics lie” lies and addiction are inseparable.

Addicts deny the need for accountability. They deny the need for community. They deny the need for transparency. All of these things are clearly affirmed in Scripture as being necessary to the Christian life. One of the common threads that runs throughout every addiction story is that of deception. Addicts hate the light, they need for people to have a false image of them. They lie and hide so that people will think that they are better people than they really are. On the outside, they appear to be pretty and, but their inner life is one of sorrow and pain.

We are looking at a few ideas that are all inter related here. Addiction, self-centeredness, and anger management. Then root of all three of these things is an incorrect perspective on GOd.

How do addicts view God?

The mind set of an addict is one that is a combination of denial and self reliance. Both are very common among all people, but very noticeably seen in addicts. What exactly am I trying to say with this? What is an addict’s response when you tell them that they should quit what ever it is that they are doing? It is that they can quit whenever they want to. They think that they are the master of themselves, and that they have control over all of their actions. What an edict is saying when he says that he can quit whenever he wants is that he does not need help. He does not think that he needs accountability. He thinks that his actions are the actions of a strong, rational person. The addict denies the reality that is found in scripture.

Step one of the 12 Step program says “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction— that our lives had become unmanageable.”

The fist step in recovering from addiction is admitting the need for accountability and help. It is learning to stop relying on yourself and to begin relying on others. As Christians, we have some that we can rely on already. We have the Church to rely on.

Phil 1:27

“just one thing: As citizens of heaven, live your life worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or am absent, I will hear about you that you are standing firm in one spirit, in one accord, contending together for the faith of the gospel,

The Christian experience is one of togetherness rather than of isolation. We understand that we can not endure in the good that we should be doing alone. We know the need for openess and honesty.

How should we handle addictive substances as Christians?

The aspect of moderation that Getz is targeting in his book is specifically how we enjoy the pleasures that God has given us to enjoy. God created many good things in the world, that can be enjoyed. God crated good food, and he created good wine, all of which should be enjoyed by us. Let me give you a quote from GK Chesterton that gets at the idea of what Gets is saying. Chesterton said in Orthodoxy “We should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them.” In his witty way, Chesterton is saying that a proper understanding of God leads us to practice moderation in enjoying earthly pleasures. Chesterton is not advocating total abstinence, or tea totaling as he puts it. Chesterton advocates that Christians enjoy the good and pleasurable things in creation in a way that is pleasing to God. We should indulge in the good food and drink that God has given without over indulging. That is clear in Scripture, we are never permitted to over indulge, and that is what Paul is getting at in 1 Tim 3 about being a man not addicted to much wine.

Look at Proverbs 23: 19-21:

“ Listen, my son, and be wise;

keep your mind on the right course.

20 Don’t associate with those who drink too much wine

or with those who gorge themselves on meat.

21 For the drunkard and the glutton will become poor,

and grogginess will clothe them in rags

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Pr 23:19–21.

AND

Who has woe? Who has sorrow?

Who has conflicts? Who has complaints?

Who has wounds for no reason?

Who has red eyes?

30 Those who linger over wine;

those who go looking for mixed wine.

31 Don’t gaze at wine because it is red,

because it gleams in the cup

and goes down smoothly.

32 In the end it bites like a snake

and stings like a viper.

33 Your eyes will see strange things,

and you will say absurd things.,

34 You’ll be like someone sleeping out at sea

or lying down on the top of a ship’s mast.

35 “They struck me, but I feel no pain!

They beat me, but I didn’t know it!

When will I wake up?

I’ll look for another drink.

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Pr 23:29–35.

Eph 5:15-18

Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise—16 making the most of the time,, because the days are evil. 17 So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Eph 5:15–18.

While alcohol consumption is never prohibited, and we have the right and privilege of enjoying all of the good thins that God has given to us, clearly there should be extreme caution in how we do exercise our liberty of enjoying earthly the earthly pleasure of alcohol.

Moreover, there is another thing that we need to consider in how we exercise our liberty, especially the fathers. That is our witness as Christians. What does our consumption of alcohol say to other Christians? And what does it say to children? I am not a father, and I am not sure what the best policy for this is .I want to open this to the other men in the room who are and hear what their personal policy is for drinking and setting an example for their sons and daughters.

Two more things on this to consider. First, sinful overindulgence goes beyond just alcohol. Gluttony is a sin, as is being enslaved to anything else. (Pull out cell phone). Here is something that is very easy to beome enslaved to. The things on you phone can call of so much of your time and attention. There is no hard and fast rule regarding this, just be mindful of the things in your life that are calling for your attention, the thing that may be causing you to neglect your responsibility.

And finally. Paul says in Romans 14:1–4 (CSB)

THE LAW OF LIBERTY

Welcome anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about disputed matters. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while one who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not judge one who does, because God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to judge another’s household servant? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand, because the Lord is able to make him stand.

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Be generous in how you apply your own convictions to other people.

Romans 14:21 (CSB)

21It is a good thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble.

Do not ever forget that love should guide all of our interactions as Christians

There are numerous references to alcohol and alcohol consumption throughout the Bible, all of them condemning drunkenness, but never condemning the consumption of alcohol,

The moral of the story, addiction is a thing that lives on pride and lies. The only way that you will ever be able to over come an addiction is by doing the painful work of forcing yourself to humble yourself and admit the tru

How does the selfish view God (addiction and self centeredness are both very closely related, however, in addiction, there is a sense of pride that is not present in self centeredness.

PRAY THAT WE WOULD SET A CHRISTLIKE EXAMPLE FOR OUR FAMILIES, AND THAT TEHY WOULD GROW IN GODLINESS.

SELF CENTEREDNESS

TITUS 1:7- NOT SELF WILLED

To start oof the chapter on selfishness, Gets gives us a personal example that is very helpful. HE tells us about the roommate that he had during the single years of his ministry. He describes his roommate as a very self centered man and everybody knew it. The interesting conclusion that he draws from this personal anecdote is the fact that every body knew about his roommate’s self centered behavior. Self centeredness is something that is obvious to every body looking in, while not being so obvious to the person themself. Getz ends his illustration by telling about when the relationship between himself and his roommate finally came to a head. After allowing anger and resentment to fester for a time, Getz angrily confronted his roommate for his selfishness. While this is definitely not the best way to go about this, after his behaviors were Brough to his attention, there was a noticeable change in his behavior to other

What is a self willed man

Different translations translate the word used for self willed in different ways: The CSB and ESV translate this word (authades) as arrogant, while the LSB and KJV translate it as self willed. Looking at it this way can help us to see what Paul is talking about here. A self willed man is one who thinks he is about the opinions, concerns, and considerations of others. We Amy call this behavior narscissicitic. Think of selfish and over bearing behavior here. That person who wont accept correction, who does not compromise, who will not take suggestions.This sort of person is very difficult to get along with

How Self Centeredness impacts your life

The main impact of self centeredness is in relationships.

This can be in any relationship, but the main ones are going to be with your wife and kids. You know, it is easy to overlook the faults of the people that you see only occasionally. The friends of someone who is self centered only have to put up with selfish behavior on the occasions that they see him, whereas the family of a selfish man have to suffer his every day of their lives.

Marriage.

“Nothing is more devastating to a marriage than a self oriented spouse. Selfishness probably destroys more relationships then any other negative characteristic.” \

What drives a man’s self willed behavior in a marriage?

Our ego is easily threatened

We operate at a rational level more than at a feeling level

“When [wives] tell us how they feel, rather than listening, we give them 10 reasons why they shouldn’t feel that way”

Marriage puts a greater demand on our commitment to Christ because it both highlights our inadequacies, and forces us to live in a loving way with our spouse’s shortcomings.

Keep in mind, that living for the other spouse is something that is a life long struggle for both husbands and wives. This is something that. I don’t have any experience with this so, if anyone has any suggestions practical suggestions for living for your spouse, then please chime in. From observing my own parents and other couples, I have a few that may be beneficial. Pray together regularly. Intentionally make time to spend alone with your wife on a regular basis. Regularly check in together, sharing feelings, and asking each other how you think your relationship is and how you can be improving. I don’t know how helpful that is, so please chime in with feedback and suggestions.

Children

It is just as important to not be a self willed father. A selfish father can devastate and discourage his children rather than bring them up in love and godliness. Being a selfish father breeds resentment and tension in the relationship between father and child

Ephesians 6:4 (CSB)

4Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 (CSB)

21Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.

Self willed behavior will create resentment in any person ad drive a wedge into any relationship. This is especially true for your children. They don’t overlook selfish behavior any more than your friends and spouse do.

Children are created in God’s image, and they will imitate the models that their parents set. Somebody that I really enjoy listening to and who I think touches on a lot of truth is Dennis Prager. He always talks about how everybody has two natures, their human nature which is corrupt, wicked, and universal between all people, and a personal nature. Things that God has, by nature inclined certain people to do. Peoples specific gifting, interests, and weaknesses. Each child has a unique nature, and this nature should not be squashed down, it should be guided, directed, nurtured, and where needed, pruned.

Finally, before we pray, remember Galatians 5:22–26 (CSB)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

PRAY THAT WE WOULD PERSONALLY GROW IN CHRISTLIKE CHARACTER, AND MANLY QUALITIES.

APPROPRIATE ANGER

What is Anger?

APA:

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion that everybody experiences. However, there are different ways that we can express our anger that are sinful or not sinful. Commonly when you think of an anger, what comes to mind is someone going off the handle. They may yell, throw things, hit things, and in extreme cases, hurt people or animals. Often they are verbally, and emotionally abusive to the people around them, seeking to let out their anger by hurting the people that are around them. Obviously, this is a sinful expression of anger. There is never a situation that it is acceptable to lash out in anger with the aim of hurting the people around you. It does not matter if they deserve it or not.

This is not the only sinful expression of anger however.

Dr. Jerry Deffenbacher, a psychologist who specializes in anger management says

”Just because you control your outward expression of anger, this does not mean you have avoided sin. here are also those who don’t show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don’t always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.”

It is always

Ephesians 4:26–27 (CSB)

26 Be angry and do not sin., Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and don’t give the devil an opportunity.

What does anger look like expressed in a non sinful way?

The ways that you immediately want to respond in anger are rarely the right ways. Anger seeks justice, but often, in our sinful state, rather than justice, we are seeking our own self interests. An angry response never mends broken relationships, it only drives them apart. It is difficult then to over come anger without sinning, but there are ways to express anger in a gentle way that can mend relationships.

Three proverbs to consider:

Proverbs 14:29 (CSB)

29 A patient person shows great understanding,

but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness.

Proverbs 17:27 (CSB)

27 The one who has knowledge restrains his words,

and one who keeps a cool head

is a person of understanding.

Proverbs 19:11

A person’s insight gives him patience,

and his virtue is to overlook an offense.

The common thought is that it may be helpful to express anger violently in non hurtful ways. The common conception of this is the man who has a punching bag in his garage, and beats it until he is exhausted when he feels anger. This may help in the moment, but it is reinforcing habits of responding to anger violently.

It is good to express your feelings of anger, in a helpful way that is seeking to resolve conflict. I am sure that you have heard some strategies for this before, such as waiting 24 hours before sending an angry email, and this is good advice. Anger would have you lash out at whoever the perceived wrong came from

Cognitive restructuring. Changing the way that you think.

From the APA’s control your anger before it controls you.

What does this mean? Well, often times the root of an angry outburst is selfishness. Anger can often comes because you feel that things are not happening how they should. Basically, things didn’t go your way. Changing the way that you think is bringing logic into a situation fueled by anger. Anger is not a thought it is a feeling, and our feelings are not always true, they can lie to us. They make us think irrationally and illogically. Looking at a situation from a more objective standpoint often times makes feelings of anger feel silly.

Getz gives us a checklist to go through to help keep our emotions in control.

Stay in tune spiritually, Avoid going out of fellowship with God. Keep your prayer life in order and listen to the voice of God as he speaks through the Scriptures

Avoid having to face difficult and tense situations when you are physically and emotionally tired.

Engage in a regular program of physical exercise, especially if you work under pressure and constant tension.

If you venom angry 9or use about a particular set of circumstance and you are unable to shake the problem, learn to express your feelings in an objective an straight forward manner. Don’t brood. Communicate, but avoid sending you messages that threaten the other person.

Learn to back off an aggravating situation and try to l9ok at if objectively. Why did it happen? What problems may the other person involved be facing? Ask yourself what you can do to help become a part of the solution rather than the problem.

Memorize James 1:19-20 James 1:19–20 (CSB)

HEARING AND DOING THE WORD

19 My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, 20 for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

. If anger is a problem in your life, meditate on these verses every morning before you begin your day’s activities na then ask God to help you out this truth into practice.

You make me statements vs that makes me feel statements

What does this mean? When communicating your anger, rather than saying “you make me so angry when you don’t clean your room” say “ It makes me feel angry when you don’t clean your room” The first way is putting blame on the other person for how you are responding to the situation . It is an accusation/. Whereas the second one is a communication of feeling, that opens discussion for problem solving.

Sinful anger- letting anger persist as a means to hurt the one that made you angry.

Does anybody have any strategies for handling their anger in a godly way.

Remember :

Proverbs 15:1 (CSB)

A gentle answer turns away anger,

but a harsh word stirs up wrath.