Sermon Tone Analysis

*REAL RELATIONSHIPS*

*(THE LOVE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED)*

 

*#2: Pure Sex – Part Two*

Pastor Greg Henneman

April 22, 2007

 

*INTRODUCTION*

 

·       Promote baptism

 

Last Sunday we talked about Pure Sex – Whether You’re Single or Married.

If you were here you remember that we only got part way through.

In fact, we only discussed letter “A”…

 

*A.

Why is Sex such a Big Deal?*

* *

*          1.

Sex is about connection.*

*          2.

Sex reveals our fallenness.

*

*          3.

Sex for singles is confusing.*

* *

*          The Status of Singles*

*          Traditional Reasons for keeping Sex in Marriage:*

* *

*I told you about the Red Light District in Amsterdam.

*Prostitution is legal there.

People are having sex there all the time!

I told you that I believe that those people are sexually repressed!

They are very un-sexual!

And you were probably thinking, “Greg, How can you say that?

They are having sex all the time!

(Sex God 43)

 

*Yes, but they’re never connecting.*

They feel just as isolated, just as lonely as they did before they had sex.

In fact, they usually don’t want to even know each other names.

I ended last Sunday with a cliff hanger –a question.

Somebody says, *“But Greg, I’m not like that.

I’m not running around having sex with everybody.

My boyfriend and I love each other.

*And I’m pretty sure we’re going to get married someday.

So what’s wrong about connecting and enjoying our sexuality now?

Why would God frown on that?”

 

*So let’s pick it up here.

So you’re a 9th grader,* or a 12th grader.

Or you’re in college.

OR you’re 40 years old and divorced and you’re in a new serious relationship.

If you really love each other and are committed to each other, although you’re not married, why not enjoy the beautiful gift of sexuality that God gave you?

 

*What About Affectionate Boyfriend~/girlfriend Relationships?*

The most obvious reason, for us Christians, at least, is because that is God’s will for our lives!

It amazes me how often people ask me this question, “Greg, does the Bible really teach that it’s wrong to have sex if you’re a single?

I know that the Bible says that adultery is wrong because you’re cheating on your spouse.

But if you’re not married, then you’re not cheating on anybody, so what’s wrong with having sex if you’re single?”

I’m asked that question with amazing frequency!

Look at…

 

*/Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”/*

*/“Marriage should be honored by all.”/

Stop right there.*

How do we honor marriage?

What does it mean to honor marriage?

It means that we recognize and honor the fact that marriage is God’s idea and that his plan is one man, one woman, for life!

It means that our sexuality is intended to be enjoyed within the context of commitment and faithfulness and connection of marriage.

*And it means that you not just recognize that truth but you live by it!*

So having sex outside of marriage is to dishonor marriage.

To live together without being married is to dishonor marriage.

To redefine marriage to include a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman is to dishonor God’s design for marriage!

Marriage should be honored by all!

 

Look at the next phrase, */“and the marriage bed kept pure.”/*

What does that mean?

It means that our sexuality is to be enjoyed and expressed in ways that are in harmony with God’s design for marriage.

Sex should bring husband and wife closer, not farther apart.

Sex should connect them, not isolate them.

Sex should free them, not enslave them.

It also means the next phrase, *“/for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”/*

*God will judge who?*

The adulterer AND ALL the sexually immoral.

Who’s the adulterer?

The husband or wife who cheats on their spouse, right?

Ok, then who’s ALL the sexually immoral?

*Everybody else? Well who’s that?* Single people who express their sexuality outside of the marriage covenant.

The Greek word there is porneia, where we get our word pornography and pornographic.

*Hebrews 13 is saying that God’s will for us is to express our sexuality only within the covenant of marriage* and even then only in such a way as to honor God’s design for marriage.

A married person can dishonor marriage by using sex the wrong way –whether it’s through pornography or adultery or through selfish lust and kinky stuff that makes the partner feel shamed.

A single person can dishonor marriage by having sex outside of marriage.

*So let’s be absolutely clear: 9th grader or 12th grader* who is crazily in love with somebody…college student who’s met the guy or girl of your dreams…or 40 year-old divorced person who is finding such joy and refreshing laughter in a new relationship…GOD WANTS YOU TO REFRAIN FROM HIS WONDERFUL GIFT OF SEX UNTIL YOU ARE IN A COVENANT OF MARRIAGE!

The Bible is absolutely clear on this…

 

*/1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.”/*

 

*Believe me, I understand how counter-cultural this is!* Society snickers at us for talking like this!

But be absolutely clear!

This is God’s will for us!

And this is God’s will NOT because he is mean and doesn’t want us to have any fun!

This is God’s will precisely because he wants us to have the most fun in life that’s possible!

And the smartest thing you can ever do is to follow and obey Christ –if you want to enjoy God’s blessing and power in your life!

* *

*So why should you wait?*

Because it’s God’s will.

But that’s part of the traditional argument, so let me give you some fresh ways of looking at this…

 

*9th grader…12th grader…college student…40 year-old single…*let me ask you some questions.

If all it takes is some affection and some level of committed relationship to enjoy sex together, even though you’re not married, then…

*          1.

How affectionate?*

If you have five different boyfriends during high school and college, does that mean that it’s ok to have sex with five different people during those years?

After all, you had affection for them?

*          2.

How committed?*

Do you have to be engaged?

Or maybe just date for one week.

I won’t kiss you on the first date but on the second date; and on the third date we’ll have enough affection and commitment that it’s ok to have sex.

What I’m getting at is to help you realize how…

 

*          3.

How manipulating?*

…these relationships become when sex enters the picture.