Proverbs and Sexuality

Introduction

If we have not had the pleasure of meeting my name is John Colunga and I have the privilige of serving as lead pastor here at New Day Pasadena

I also have the privilige of bringing this weeks sermon

So if you have your Bibles, please turn to Proverbs 3:5-8

If you forgot your Bible please use the one in front of you and if you dont have a Bible at all, please take home the one in front of you as a free gift to you

Recap

illustration: We are the sheep

We are in a green pasture with Christ

Jesus has put up a fence around the pasture for our protection

Many times, rather than enjoying the acres of field given to us

We focus on the fence

We are curious as to what is beyond the fence

The fence is not only protection to keep the bad things out

But it is for us to stay in safety

To stay in his design

The fence is designed to keep us righteous, holy, and confident in Christ

The fence is God’s design and plan for us to live

And this includes his commands as to how we are to live

And as the sheep, we are to know these commands

We are to be obedient

We shouldn’t waste our time flirting and focusing on what its like beyond his commands

Rather, being obedient to his commands and his ways

We enjoy the goodness and blessings of the green pasture

And so today we are going to talk about one part of the fence

The Fence of sexuality and purity

At times, todays sermon will be heavy and weighty by nature

And this is because sexuality and purity is not just a world struggle

It is a church struggle

It is a Christian struggle

Many times when we say the word purity in the church - our mind immediately goes to sexuality and sex

This is in most part due to the purity culture movement

young girls and boys signed covenant papers promising to stay pure (not have sex before marriage)

promise rings were a big thing where rings would be worn on the wedding finger as a sign that you wont have sex until marriage

Purity was pitched and given as virginity - and so in many of my generations minds purity = virginity

Almost exclusively tied to virginity

And this where I want to start off - by squashing the notion that purity is just about sexuality

Rather - purity extends to our entire spiritual life and goes hand in hand with holiness

Matthew 5:8 ““Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

Philippians 1:9–11 “And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

Purity extends beyond just sexuality

We are called to live pure lives

We are to be pure in heart and to strive to be pure in all of our ways

That when we choose obedience, when we follow God’s ways - we are being holy, righteous, and pure

And so, when we choose to live in the design of God’s plan for sexuality - we are then aiding our striving to be pure in Christ

At this time, If you are able to stand I ask that you do so for the reading of God’s word. I’ll read it out loud and if you will please follow along

My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. 3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, 4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; 6 she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it. 7 And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. 8 Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, 9 lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, 10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, 11 and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, 12 and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! 13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. 14 I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”

This is the word of the Lord, you may now be seated

Exposition

1-6 - God has a plan for sexuality

Last week we noted that there are times where we have liberty and understanding to make decisions where there is not a clear fence line

But there is a clear fence line for sexuality - there is a clear way that God wants us to live

All through out scripture we find this phrase sexual immorality

There is a way which is sexually moral and immoral -

One that pleases God and one that displeases God

One that is wise and one that is unwise

And this is defined by God

And Solomon starts off by stating this

There is a wise way that has understanding and exercises discretion and knowledge

Now, if you read this in the context of his writing in all of chapter 5 - Solomon is speaking directly of adultery

That the son has a wife and is being told not to stray from her for an adulteress

2 women here (one in covenant, one outside of covenant)

Adulteress - is willingly and defiantely cheating on her husband

Adulteress - is seducing other men (not just single men, she doesnt care married or not)

She is the pursuer - wether he is looking or not she finds him and tempts him

Adulteress - is not caring of the repercussions of her actions or the actions of those she seduces

And this is true of all sin and temptations to sin

Sin is seductive with a promise of satisfaction and goodness

Sin is not specific to just one kind of person

Sin does not care about the repercussions

Ultimately - sin leads to death

Why? because sin does not care about God’s design

The very nature of sin is to reject God and to be contrary to God

And a life in opposition to God a life rejecting God, a life not striving for purity and holiness is a life heading to death

The question you have to ask yourself is are you saved or are you not saved -

Because if you are saved then there would care about God’s plan, his design, his commands

You would care to be obedient

Yes, you will stumble but there is remorse because your heart belongs to God

And so, there is a call here not to give into the seduction of sin and to cling the wise road of life

To cling to God’s design

Solomon says Do not taste that honey

Do not fall on the double edge sword

There is no wondering what will happen if you sin - we already know

bitterness and a stabbing

unfulfillment and hurt

wandering and death

Do not go the way of adultery

Do not go the way of sin

Looking Back (Before the fall)

Look back at Gods design - his plan

Genesis 1:27–28 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.””

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Looking Forward - the Apostle Paul after the fall

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;”

For the church, for the believers in Jesus Christ, part of our sanctification is that we stay away from sexual immorality

God has a design and an intention on sexuality

And what we find in verses 7-10 of this Proverb is that there are negative consequences when we are disobedient

7-10 - Disobedience to God’s plan of sexuality has a cost

Lack of honor

break commitment of wife and the commitment before God

Respect would be lost

Merciless

Within the church we prach mercy because Jesus taught mercy

But the outside world seeks vengence

If the husband of the adulteress or someone found out his actions - they may not be merciful

He may have to look over his shoulder day by day

Labors go to the house of a foreigner

When your in the sin of adultery it dominates your time

It can dominate your thoughts and actions

Might feel obligated to financially support the adulteress

This takes time away from the mans family

A piece of this man is now for this other woman

11-14 - Living outside of God’s plan for sexuality leads to disappointment

Flesh and body are consumed

What the author is writing about here is not just a one time stumble

But a continuous choice to live in the flesh and body

Flesh - is not talking about the body

If so, then this would mean the body and body are consumed

But the author is making a distinction here that the flesh and body are not the same thing

And if a person stays in sin, both the flesh and the body are consumed

So, what is the flesh then?

Galatians 5:16–21“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Flesh - power of sin in our natural state of humanity

And this is why spiritual warfare takes place

There is a war between your natural sinful state and the influence of the Holy Spirit in your life

When the Holy Spirit changes your heart and you give your life to Jesus

Becuase of Jesus’ work and the Holy Spirits leading you are now have the ability to resist sin

That your desire for Christ by the way of the spirit is greater than your desire for sin which comes from the flesh

And so what the author is warning here is that by continuously giving into the flesh

You are now acting with your body what is against God

And as you stay in that state - as you look back on your life

You will see the folly of your ways - how giving in to the flesh has wrecked your life

Has kept you from both earthly and heavenly blessings

The warning is to keep from this happening

The plead is to choose wisdom

Flesh and body are tied together

hated discipline

As the son looks back and sees that he followed folly

Followed his own way

He will see how he hated discipline

He had none

Hates discipline (restrictive)

despised reproof

usually happens when you are in the throws of sin

Your will for sin is greater than your ear for correction

Reference Jonah: Lowest of lows when you look back and see your folly

brink of utter ruin

disgraced in front of community

Application

All Sexual Immorality is bad and we should treat it as such

God has a design and anything outside of that design is folly

We are going to talk beyond adultery

Most of what is written in this proverb can apply to every sexually immoral act

We can have a tendency to elevate some sins over others and to overlook or minimize other sins

In reality - all acts of sexual immorality are damaging

Lusting after another person

Daydreaming or pornography or masturbation

As I say those words you might be cringing or looking around awkwardly

But these sexually immoral acts are what our young people are facing today

They are being told that it is healthy

They are being told that they can learn by doing it

And this isn’t something that is only happening to young people outside the church

But even the young within the church hear this or catch wind of it and their curiosity steps in

Virtual Reality (VR) porn is set to become a billion dollar business by 2025

An average of 28,258 people are watching porn every second

$3,075.64 is spent every second on porn

And 1 in 5 mobile searches are for porn

During Covid, pornography viewing increased by 25%

51% of male students and 32% of students have watched porn before their teenage years

On a personal level, there is a reason why some close friends of mine and many other parents are having the sex talk with their kids going into third grade

Social media, cell phones, and all sorts of ways for them to stumble or be introduced into sexual immorality

Grandmas/grandpas/parents/ we all need to be alert and aware and talk about these things with our young ones

These things lead to pre-marital sex

For every sin there is a process

Someone doesn’t just choose to sleep with someone for the first time randomly

But there is a series of events, a series of undisciplined sin that took place

That led up to it

Homosexuality is wrong

Transgender is wrong

The entire agenda that love is love and we can love whoever however

that we can be animals and love animals

All of these are wrong

Churches who affirm them are wrong

But we cant only speak out about what is wrong with the world

We have to speak out, and take a stand, and be on guard for what is defiling the church

Because at the end of the day, there is a cost

There is a cost to sexual immorality

Not living in obedience to God

Living outside of his plan

Choosing folly over wisdom has a cost

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;”

If you are in sexual immorality - you are outside the will of God

You are not growing in his likeness nor his image

What is going to happen as you are outside of God’s will? Nothing good!

You will start to grow comfortable in your lack of discipline - grow comfortable in your sin

And so at the very least you will have worldly problems that God does not intend for you to have

Relationships

Comparison Issues

Financial Issues (how much are you spending in your lust? or the repercussions of it?)

We find the word honor in this verse which is the same honor used in our Proverb

You certainly are not respecting your body nor are you respecting the person who are either lusting over or being sexual with

And if you are not respecting yourself how could you expect others to respect you? Hypocrite

Say your a Christian but acting contrary to it

You are not being Holy - set apart

You are being just like the world

Be fulfilled in Christ

Now, I always sound like I’m bashing purity culture or that I’m so against it

I’m against the negative affects it has had - because there has been this equation purity equals virginity

Then simply put, those who have had sex before marriage are impure and those who haven’t are pure

It can seem as though some are pure and some are not

When, what we truly find in scripture is that we are all impure

We all fall short of the glory of God

We all have been slaves to our tresspasses and sins

We all have struggled with sexual immorality at some point

And so, it is not our virginity that defines if we are pure or not

Rather, what defines our purity is Jesus - Do you have Jesus?

Has your heart been changed, have you made Jesus Lord and Savior of your life

Because if there is one thing I know about my relationship with God is that I fail him every single day

But there is not a day where he fails me

There is not a day where he doesnt love me

Romans 5:8 “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Jesus knew that from birth I would be impure

I would sin

I would choose folly

And yet, more than 2000 years ago he came and lived a perfect life

He willingly gave up his life so that I could become pure someday

That someday he would change my heart and I would put my faith and trust in him alone for salvation

And that he would forgive me of my sin and make me pure

He said it and he has done it

1 John 1:7–9 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

With Christ we can all have hope, we can all be forgiven, we can all made pure

But we must put our faith and trust in him

And by his death, by the power of his blood, and by his faithfulness to us through his resurrection

We have fulfillment, we have discipline, we listen and adhere to reproof, and we do not fear ruin

Rather, we have a promise of everlasting life with him forever

If you are a child of God and you have fallen short and given into sexual immorality

God is faithful to forgive! Go before the Lord and confess to him - he is faithful to forgive!

Be On Guard

And so the word for us today is exactly what the proverb says

To heed God’s word

To be attentive to His Wisdom

Incline your ear to understanding

And then, to be on guard and teach others to do the same

We had a meeting where we conveyed that we are biblical, missional, and a family

And this is part of our mission - Just as the author is instructing his son

So we should be instructing and teaching others with God’s word

Speaking life and wisdom and reproof into our kids into our less mature Christians