At The Movies: Kingdom Rules #7

Good morning and welcome to River Rock Community Church. I am so glad that you are with us today. Hopefully you received a handout as you came in, if not those are available on the table out front along with clipboards and pens for your convenience.

There was a man who had a problem with overeating. It was his job to pick up the doughnuts for his co-workers every day at Krispy Kreme. The problem was that when he would get to work four out of the five boxes would be empty because he would eat them on the way in.

He finally said, “I can’t do this anymore. I have to stay away from Krispy Kreme because I cannot resist the temptation when the doughnuts are hot.” He began to lose a lot of weight. Everyone was complimenting him. He was feeling so good about himself. After about five weeks he thought that for old time’s sake he would cruise by Krispy Kreme and check it out.

He drove by and the light was on signifying the doughnuts were hot and fresh. He then prayed and said, “Lord, if you want me to get some of these incredible doughnuts, I pray that you will open up a parking space right in front of Krispy Kreme.” Sure enough—after eight times around the block the space opened.

I don’t know about you all but I have done some things like this. Specifically with Krispy Kreme, I have been driving and said, if the HOT NOW light is on, I will know that God is giving me permission to stop and get donuts!

It reminds me of that humorous saying, Lead me not into temptation, I can find it by myself!

This lighthearted story helps us to think about and recognize a bit of truth about us as humans…we are quick to move toward temptation INSTEAD of fleeing from it. We like to see how close to the edge we can get without falling over. Unfortunately the truth is, we almost always fall over.

That’s because the temptation is generally stronger than our will power is to resist it. And if we keep putting ourselves in situations where temptation is present, it won’t take long before we give in commit a sin that will hurt us and potentially those around us.

That’s part of what we are talking about today as we continue our series…

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AT THE MOVIES: Kingdom Rules. And what we’re doing in this series is exploring the TEN COMMANDMENTS and using clips from various movies to help us better understand each command and connect them to our daily lives.

Now, I’ve said this before and I want to say it again…our SALVATION is not obtained by how well we keep these COMMANDMENTS. Salvation is by GOD’S GRACE ALONE THROUGH FAITH ALONE IN JESUS ALONE. When you and I put our faith and trust in JESUS as SAVIOR, we receive SALVATION…we receive forgiveness of sin and we are reconciled to GOD for all of eternity. We become KINGDOM CITIZENS through faith in JESUS.

So if that’s true, then why do we need to study and understand the TEN COMMANDMENTS? We study these commandments because we know that GOD has provided them for us to HELP US live in a way that HONORS HIM and HONORS THOSE AROUND US.

What we’ve realized in this series is that these COMMANDS are actually KINGDOM RULES that GOD has given us so we can be GOOD KINGDOM CITIZENS. And good KINGDOM CITIZENS do their best to keep the rules and HONOR GOD and HONOR OTHERS.

The first 4 KINGDOM RULES really focus on HONORING GOD and the balance of the 10 focus on honoring other people. And honoring other people starts at home…HONORING OUR PARENTS. That’s foundational…when we honor our parents we are creating a strong core family unit and when families are strong and honoring toward one another, the community will be strong and honoring one another.

And last week, we looked at the KINGDOM RULE about not murdering other people. And we all felt pretty good about it until we realized that murder is not just the physical action of taking another life…it’s actually something we do in our hearts and with our words when we get angry with others.

And JESUS calls us to move toward forgiveness and reconciliation quickly so we don’t sin…so we don’t dishonor other people by murdering them with our thoughts and words or worse.

Today we are going to look at KINGDOM RULE NUMBER 7. And this is another that I think many of us feel pretty good about but when we dig in, I think we will see that this is yet another KINGDOM RULE we have broken.

Go ahead and open your BIBLE or your BIBLE APP to EXODUS chapter 20 and again we are going to look at just one short verse here and then we will head over to Matthew chapter 5 and see what JESUS has to say about this one. But first let’s look at EXODUS 20 and verse 14.

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Exodus 20:14 (CSB) 14 Do not commit adultery.

Again, seems pretty straight forward right? Commit to the one you’re with…don’t go chasing waterfalls…don’t be looking for love in the all the wrong places and all that jazz! We see this one…we hear it…and I think most of us say, YEAH I GET THAT ONE.

But when we dig a little deeper and look at what JESUS has to say about this, we realize it’s again not just the physical act…it goes deeper and wider. Let’s turn over to Matthew chapter 5 now…Matthew 5 and let’s start with verse 27.

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Matthew 5:27-30 (CSB) 27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery.

And again JESUS starts with the basic command and reminding people that this is something they’ve been taught…they have heard this command from different people around them. Jesus says, here’s the foundation…DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY…

verse 28…

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28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Now before we get into this, I want to say this is not directed exclusively at the guys in the audience back then or to the guys in the room today. This message is for everyone. Men looking at women, and women looking at men with lust-filled thoughts…according to JESUS, that counts as adultery.

Again JESUS takes this from the physical action to the condition of the heart…to the processing of the brain. People in JESUS’ day would have been like, look, I have not cheated on my spouse…I have not engaged in any illicit activity with another person. But JESUS was getting to the HEART…the inner workings of each person.

Back then, the Pharisees had this way of looking righteous on the outside but were filthy and sinful on the inside. And they pushed others to do the same…to present themselves as holy but not actually caring about the condition or attitude of the heart.

JESUS raises the bar…the standard is not just to not commit the act of adultery…the standard is to maintain pure thoughts. To not allow yourself to look with lust upon another person. And I can tell you that with that standard, everyone is guilty. Which leads me to be thankful that GOD extends grace and forgiveness to me through JESUS.

JESUS says adultery starts in the heart…and what we see is that GOD is just as concerned about our heart condition as HE is about our physical actions. It is out of the heart that the mouth speaks. And not just speaks but it is out of the heart that we act. GOD wants to change our heart condition…HE wants to transform our desires and give us clean and pure hearts.

So if we have lust in our heart, it won’t be long before that turns into words…and words turn to action. And look…all of it leads to brokenness in relationships. If your heart is tainted with lust for someone other than your spouse…that’s going to influence the way you engage with your spouse…how open and honest you are with them how giving and generous you are…the way you care for them and invest in the relationship with them. The lust you have for another person will push out the love you have for your spouse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? Look at all the broken marriages that exist in our community today. Look at the divided homes. Adultery…lust…play a big role in the amount of broken marriages in the world today.

The lust you have for another person will push out the love you have for your spouse and you will neglect them and that will lead to neglect toward children and other family members.

And what we said a couple of weeks ago is that strong families make strong communities and broken families lead to broken communities.

Several years ago there was an article written about the impact adultery has on children as they grow up and become adults. And an overwhelming number of people who had a parent that was involved in adultery said that they had trust issues and struggled to have strong committed relationships because of what they experienced earlier in life.

So when GOD gave this command, it was one to help create strong family dynamics and help create a strong community in general.

Sin deceives me and you into thinking if we have not done the actual deed we’re OK. JESUS says no, it starts with a look. And I know what you’re going to say, yeah but pretty people are all around me. I can’t help who walks by me.

That is all true, but what you can control is the length of time you look at them. Do you know what I mean? Like I see people all the time. But just because I see them does not mean I am looking at them with lust. It’s when you linger…when you “CHECK THEM OUT” that’s when things get sideways.

And I know what you’re going to say next…what do you want me to do, gouge out my eyes? Well…verse 29…

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29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

JESUS went SCORCHED EARTH here. And what HE’S saying is this is a big deal and you need to take intentional action to avoid lust. Now please don’t go home and gouge out your eyes or cut off your hand. But DO take seriously this warning. SIN IS NOT SOMETHING WE NEED TO PLAY AROUND WITH. We need to take it seriously and be intentional about avoiding it…about avoiding the temptations that are all around us.

Make the decision to not be alone in a room or a car with someone of the opposite sex. Make the decision to not watch TV or MOVIES that have nudity or graphic “love” scenes. Put porn blockers on your devices. Give your spouse all the usernames and passwords to your phone, computer, email, and social media accounts. DO everything you can to stay as far away from sexual temptation as possible.

Because here’s the thing…in our culture today, sexuality and sensual imaging is all around us. It will find you, you don’t have to go looking for it. And look, when it comes knocking on your door, YOU HAVE TO SQUASH IT!

I have shared with some of you that my wife and daughters use a particular popular app for design ideas and recipes and so forth. And Heather would send me things from this app and I couldn’t see the info because I didn’t have an account. So one night we were sitting on the couch together talking and she was showing some stuff on her phone. So in the moment, I created an account. And in the process I was asked to select different interests and hobbies and things that I wanted to know more about. So I did. Heather saw all of it. I picked stuff like shoes, men’s fashion, fishing, guns, and I think maybe music and guitars. Anyway, it was all regular normal stuff.

A few days later I get an email from this app with suggestions of things that I might want to see based on those selections. One of them was a female fishing and well…she was not wearing very much. OF course I freaked out and immediately showed Heather and we had a conversation about it. I ended up canceling my account.

Now I could have kept it all private…I could have just stored that away somewhere secret…I could have let that temptation linger and live in a shadowy corner of my life. But that’s not the kind of relationship I want with my wife and daughters. That’s not the kind of relationship I want with other women. So I drug it out into the light and exposed it and cut it off at the source.

And that’s the point. Friends we have to guard our lives, especially when it comes to sexual sin, because it’s one that will rip us to shreds. It will hurt us personally and hurt us relationally. So if you have something in your life that tempts you and pulls you toward LUST…please cut it out…remove it from your life and flee from it.

If it’s a person at work, you need to establish real boundaries…don’t allow yourself to be in a private room alone with this person. Don’t engage in flirtatious behavior. Don’t talk about things that are not exclusively work related. Be intentional to avoid the temptation.

Don’t drive to the parking lot of the Krispy Kreme and pray for spot at the front door and then circle the building 10 times waiting for the spot to open up. Take a different route home, even if it’s 20 minutes longer just so you don’t put yourself in a position to fall into a trap and ruin your life.

Look, we have said in the past that sin is satisfying a legitimate need in illegitimate ways. God created us with desire and passion and HE gave us these things to draw us together in a specific intimate relationship. A relationship that is intended to be exclusive and not easily broken. In fact, later JESUS said this…

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Matthew 19:4-6 (CSB) 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

That’s how GOD created you and me. That’s how HE designed all of us. HE created us to find our person and fall in love with them and become ONE FLESH…meaning united and strong and not easily torn apart. That’s how GOD created us.

And when we allow LUST to creep in, you know what it does? It takes a knife to that ONE FLESH…and if we don’t get rid of it…that knife will become a chainsaw and completely tear our relationships apart. And it’s not just the physical affairs that will tear us apart. There are 3 types of affairs that can happen.

Obviously there’s the physical affair…the actual act of adultery. There’s also EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS. This is where you engage in conversations with someone other than your spouse that are emotionally intimate and you develop this emotional bond with them…a bond that is intended to be exclusive with your spouse. You may never touch and you may never even see each other face to face, but you create a bond that is unhealthy and should be limited to your spouse. And finally there’s the MENTAL AFFAIR, and that’s what we see as lust. The act of imagining yourself with another person intimately. All of these fall into the category of adultery. And JESUS says, DON’T DO ANY OF IT!

So, what do we need to do besides always wear blindfolds and ear plugs and never engage with another person? That’s not healthy either by the way. So what do we do to avoid lust and adultery? First…

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Refrain - Avoid anything that stirs up desire and lust and so forth. Stay away from it at all costs. And I already mentioned safe boundaries and getting rid of things that are a source of temptation for you. Don’t see how close to the edge you can get. Don’t open the door for a hint of impropriety to sneak in. Just don’t go there.

Next we need to…

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Retrain - Change our habits and way of thinking. I have shared about a guy who impacted me many years ago. He stood up in a promise keepers meeting at our church and said that he struggled with lust. And he prayed for GOD to give him victory over this sin. He said that GOD showed him that women are HIS CHILDREN, HIS DAUGHTERS, made in HIS image and that he needed to view them as such. And this completely changed his life. And listen, I have used that myself. I have said out loud THAT IS ONE OF GOD’S DAUGHTER”S to help retrain my brain to not linger and move toward lustful thoughts.

That’s what we saw in the movie clip earlier.

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Mr Potato was saying I’M A MARRIED SPUD - I’M A MARRIED SPUD. For him, saying this helped him keep his mind on what was more important in that situation…his marriage.

So we need to do whatever it takes to help us retrain our brains and hearts to keep lust at bay and keep our focus on our spouse so we don’t get tripped up by everything that flies at us in this life. Then finally…

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Run - When temptation heads your way, just run from it! That’s what JOSEPH did when Potiphar’s wife tried to entice him…he ran away. Remove yourself from the situation. Leave the room…leave the email thread or text thread…unsubscribe and delete that social media account. Whatever the situation is RUN AWAY from it and don’t give an opportunity for lust to entice you and plant a seed that can grow in your heart.

JESUS loves us and wants us to have pure hearts…HE wants us to have healthy and strong marriages and relationships in general. And HE tells us that in order for us to have strong marriages and relationships, we need to keep lust out of our lives.

We need to keep our passions focused on ONE PERSON and that is our spouse. Don’t give your physical, emotional, or mental love to anyone other than your spouse. That’s how you maintain a strong and healthy marriage. That’s how you keep this KINGDOM RULE - DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

Maybe you’re here today and you’ve fallen into a trap and lust has a hold of you. If that’s the case…guys let’s talk. No judgment…I will be happy to stand with you and help you move forward to set boundaries and retrain your brain to overcome this struggle. Ladies, same goes for you…talk to Heather and invite her to join you as you reset your focus on your spouse.

We’re here to help you succeed in your relationships, so please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Maybe you’re here today and you haven’t committed to the most important relationship…a relationship with JESUS as your SAVIOR. If you have not taken that step and accepted the grace and forgiveness that HE offers, I want to encourage you to do that today. Just say this simple prayer and commit your life to HIM today.

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For all of us, let’s commit to keeping this KINGDOM RULE and do whatever it takes to keep our hearts and minds clear of lust and HONOR GOD as we HONOR ONE ANOTHER.

Let’s pray.