Honor Your Parents

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

On these two commandments hang all the law

We find ourselves today looking at the laws that hang on the second greatest commandment.

The Ten Commandments are now transitioning from the first half of Jesus’ answer to the scribe in Mark 12 to the second half:

We’ve gone from loving God to loving others.

Remember the Ten Commandments are broken up into two parts… the first four focus on our relationship with God and the next six focus on our relationship with others.

When we focus on living our lives in such a way that we obey these commandments, then we will be showing God and the world where our priorities truly lie: in loving God and loving others.

God wants our love and devotion and worship, but he also cares about how we treat other people.

God demonstrates that through the next six commandments, and God understands that how we act in the world starts in the home.

God cares about the family unit and how the parents and children interact, as well as how the spouses interact with each other.

So the command is to Honor thy father and thy mother.

How do we do Honor our Father and Mother?

The Bible speaks specifically to children that are still under their parents authority:

I. Children Obey Your Parents

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

We know that this is true.

Society views those who obey their parents as good children.

But we are losing this most basic principle in our communities.

Why should children obey their parents?

A. They Are Stewards

There is a natural need for gratitude for bringing you to life.

The provisions that a parent gives their children in food, shelter and clothing is the most basic needs and requirements from a parent, but so is obedience from a child.

God entrusted these children to their parents.

They are stewards of these precious lives.

The king will come one day to take account of what was done with the treasures that He placed in the stewards hands.

What will He find?

Wasted teaching moments

Lack of Bible instruction

Is the Character developed by careful training?

Are they prepared for the world in which they are being sent out?

spiritually

physically

emotionally

financially

Parents we must work, for it’s hard work, toward the goal of helping mold them into the adults that God wants them to be.

Proverbs 22:6 KJV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Children should obey their parents because they are stewards chosen by God to raise you.

B. God Commands It

God is the one who said it.

God knows what is best for us as individuals as well as our families and our society.

He doesn’t just randomly require things from us, there is a reason.

I have often said to my children, “make good choices receive blessings, make bad choices receive consequences.”

This is the way God works as well.

He told Israel, if you obey me I will bless you.

But if you do not obey me judgment lieth at the door.

God who ultimately has given you life has told you to obey your parents.

But what happens if your parents are not saved, and perhaps they tell you to obey them in an area that God has told you not to do?

C. Obey in the Lord

The Bible says Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

This speaks to not only the importance of obeying your parents…because in doing so you are obeying God...

But it also gives a caution for wisdom, Are you obeying the Lord in obeying your parents.

Parents have no right to abuse their authority.

All true authority is ordained by God, when a person steps outside of the God given bounds of His authority, to require something that is wrong, they no longer have the authority that requires the child's obedience in that area.

I have heard people say that you should obey your authority no matter what they require and God will protect you and hold you blameless.

I do not believe that is true.

The Bible is clear that when a command for something that directly contradicts God’s command, we must obey God.

Acts 5:29 KJV

29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

We as Baptist believe in Individual Soul Liberty, We believe that we will all stand before God as individuals to give an account for what we have done.

And those who have authority over another have an additional responsibility before God to give an account for what they have done.

Hebrews 13:17 KJV

17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

Whether a parent, a teacher, a pastor, a government official…leaders will give an account unto God for what they have required the people under their authority to do.

If you were to find yourself in a situation where you are asked to obey your parent, the best solution is to first RESPECTFULLY make an appeal to them with Biblical reasons for the appeal.

A boisterous, self-righteous appeal will usually be shot down.

But a gentle, respectful appeal is often heard.

So Children should obey their parents in the Lord…but he doesn’t stop there.

The next verse continues a command to all children, young or old.

II. All Children Honor Your Parents

2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

This is a command without age limit.

Every child, young or old should obey God in this way.

This is the first commandment that has been given with a promise…that thou mayest live long on the earth.

As Christians we have an extra reason to obey God here…because people are watching us.

Don’t let a non-Christian out honor you.

How can we honor our parents?

A. Love Them

Love is an action verb.

Your parents would be included in the command to love your neighbor as yourself.

So you are to love them and let them see it.

Show your love, verbally and physically.

Show them your appreciation of their investment in your life.

I watched my wife go into the very clutches of death four times when she gave birth to my children.

I watched the pain that she went through each time, leading up to the culmination of active birth.

Helplessly I watched her give birth to each of them.

This is not unique to just my wife of course, every mother goes through this process when they give birth.

If there was no other reason to love your mother than this, it is enough.

B. Help Them

Are there things they need help with?

Do they have any needs financially?

Do they have the food they need to eat?

You might say, “Well, I just don’t have the time for that…I’m busy enough.”

Truth is I am sure they could have said the same thing when you were a child.

It is the appropriate cycle of life: a parent cares for their child when they cannot care for themselves.

When the time came for my parents to move here with my sister, I was excited.

I watched helplessly from far away as they struggled in California.

God called my father to pastor there in California, and he called me to pastor here in Michigan.

We could do nothing about that until the day came when God told my dad it was time to retire.

My sister honored my parents for decades caring for them.

I am overjoyed to have the opportunity now to help with that.

It is not a burden to honor my father, it is a privilege.

A Child should take care of their parent when they are not able to care for themselves.

1 Timothy 5:8 KJV

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

This includes the elderly parents as a few verses earlier make clear.

1 Timothy 5:4 KJV

4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

the word requite means repay.

So we need to love our parents, we need to help our parents...

C. Listen to Them

Far too many elderly have been left to themselves.

take the time to listen to them, let them talk about their life and their history.

There will come a time when it will be lost.

I have run across questions that I wish I could ask my mom…but I no longer have an opportunity.

Still your busy life and make time for your parents, and just listen to them.

Go to them for advice, they have seen more than you have.

Proverbs 1:8 KJV

8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, And forsake not the law of thy mother:

This proverb is written to an adult child.

Listen to your father, and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching

The heart of rebellion and pride will be judged by God.

Proverbs 30:17 KJV

17 The eye that mocketh at his father, And despiseth to obey his mother, The ravens of the valley shall pick it out, And the young eagles shall eat it.

Listen to them.

D. Speak Well of Them

This could be looked at in a couple of ways...

1. Your life should speak well of their training.

Proverbs 22:6 KJV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Your life is a reflection of your upbringing.

There are some that overcome bad training, however for the most part it is a direct testimony to how your parents did.

When we see a child just wretchedly misbehaving in a store, we look at the child with disappointment and frustration, but we look to the parent as responsible.

How you live speaks volumes about your parents.

However we cannot remove free will.

There are some children, who have been taught correctly in a loving and gracious home, but still chose to run from God and live in a way that does not reflect what they were taught.

From our vantage point, may the realization of this truth point us in the right way: Our lives are a reflection of our parents toil in our life.

May that urge us on to honor them through our lives.

there is a second aspect of speaking well of them...

2. Your mouth should speak well regarding them.

Proverbs 31:28 KJV

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her.

In this way we are talking about verbally speaking well of them.

I have heard people (Christians) talk about their parents, and very rarely are able to say anything kind or nice.

Yes parents make mistakes.

Yes parents sin, but a soul who has forgiven like we are forgiven…chooses not to use those things against them, whether they are present or not.

Psalm 127:3–5 KJV

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

The gates, in Jewish society, was the place where decisions were made on civil matters.

When one had an accusation against another,t hey were brought to the gates of the city, and the elders would make a decision regarding them.

The promise is that a good man, will be spoken of by his children in the gates to defend him.

We are all to honor our parents, this means we need to love them, help them, listen to them and speak well of them.

But there is another aspect of the act of a Christian and his/her relationship with their parents.

Especially when our parents are Christian…we ought to...

III. Treat Parents As You Would Elders in the Church

This is an often overlooked aspect of this command.

The parents if they are saved, are elders in the church.

They should be treated just as well as all the other elderly people in the church.

The Bible makes a distinction between an elder (pastor) and an elder (older person in the church).

1 Timothy 5:1–4 KJV

1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. 3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

The context of these verse shows that this is speaking about people who are older in the church.

We are to treat them with respect.

So there is a double command in regards to Christian Parents.

The Law required respect for the elderly as well...

Leviticus 19:32 KJV

32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord.

the hoary head is the grey headed.

The principle still applies today.

There should not be one person in the church that you treat better than your own mother or father.

Conclusion

With age comes experience, and with experience comes a call for respect.

Yes, there are some who have lost their right to respect based upon how they have treated others.

But for the most part parents deserve to be obeyed, honored and cherished…not only as your parents, but as a neighbor who is to be loved, and an elder in the church who is to be honored and cared for.

The command comes with the promise from God for long life.

I don’t know about you, but I want to live long.

I want to see my children grow up and one day bring grandchildren back home.

Your children are watching you.

You are teaching your children how they ought to treat you when you are your parents age.

The first four of the Ten Commandments dealt with our relationship with our God.

The rest deal with our relationship with our fellow man.

It is no wonder that this section is started with this important command - Honour your father and your mother.

Someone said, “Youth today have luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, no respect for older people, and talk nonsense when they should work. Young people do not stand up any longer when adults enter the room. They contradict their parents, talk too much in company … and tyrannize their elders."

This may surprise you, but do you know who wrote that?

Socrates, who lived 400 years before Christ!

It reminds us that every generation of young people have had issues with this commandment.

Loving our neighbor starts in our home.

Our relationship with our mother and our father is foundational to every other relationship.

Augustine recognized this.

He said, "If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?"

I guess not.

The relationship between parent and child is their first relationship

It's not only the foundation for all our other relationships; it's the foundation for human society.

Someone once said, “Our family is our first hospital, first school, first government, and first church. If we don't honor authority at home, we'll have a hard time respecting it anywhere, and society will crumble.”

The word translated honor in the Hebrew literally means weight or heavy.

In a day when scales were used to determine worth of something, something weighty or heavy was of great value.

The word means to ascribe worth to them.

Your parents are worthy, the question is will we recognize their worth before it is too late?

I speak from experience…the day comes too quickly when you lose them.

Honor them today!

I have never met anyone who regrets honoring their parents too much.

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