Good morning everyone, it is so good to be here this morning with you all. Right now we get to send out the kiddos to their class where you have the opportunity to learn about God in a way that makes sense to you. Then, remember, you gotta pay attention real good so that you can come find me after service and tell me something you learned today. Then of course we also want to welcome those of you joining us online, etc.

Do you guys remember when you had your first son? I remember when Beth was pregnant with Collin I was so incredibly excited that I pretty much let her name him whatever she wanted. Like, we were in the doctors office and we had begun discussing girls names and we just hadn’t really gotten to boys names yet. Well, we were in the drs office, and we we’re super blessed because our dr had an ultrasound in his office so we had new pictures every week when we went in there. So, we are sitting there and the dr asks us if we want to know if we are having a boy or girl, and we’re like, sure…So he tells us we are having a boy and I just get this big smile on my face and Beth says his name is Collin and Im like, sure…The doctor heard it and marked it down and said he was a witness in case I changed my mind. I never did, but I also didn’t super care…all I cared about is that I was having a boy…Well, let’s move on about 6 months and we went to one of those doctor’s appointments and the doctor asked Beth if she was hurting at all, No, not really, so he did the usually ultrasound and actually found that the cord was wrapping itself around Collin and so we would need to get over to the hospital, which was only next door, but we would need to get there immediately. Of course we went there right away, and we went through everything that we needed to go through and Collin ended up being 4-6 weeks early (I say 4-6 weeks becuase the dates kept shifting). Now, is where it started to get a little more hairy. You see, I sat outside of the operating area for a very long time with them simply telling me that as soon as they were able to get Beth stable they would come and get me. I was out there for a very long time. To be honest, I am not sure how long I was out there, but it was long enough that three different sets of visitors came to check and see how things were going and then left again before the doctors finally came to get me to say I could come back and see Beth and Collin. Let me tell you that was a very long time! All I could imagine was that something was going to happen and I was going to be going home either with a wife, or with a son and I had no idea which one it would be…Let me tell you that scared me folks. Well this morning we are going to talk about an event where Jacob has to say goodby to the wife he loved as he welcomes his youngest son into the world.

However, before we get there, let’s remember what Jacob has been remembering over the course of his life, or at least his life as a nomad. You see, Jacob has seen God work in some pretty amazing and some pretty bizarre ways over the years, and through all of those ways he would have to admit that God has never failed him. That is a lesson he has learned for sure, and I hope that is a lesson you have learned to. God never fails. That’s not the only lesson that Jacob has been learning over the years though. You see, Jacob has seen over and over again how God has been shaping him and how God has been directing him in various ways. So here’s the deal…Jacob was learning over and over, and I hope you are learning this to…Here it is, In the life of the trusting Christian, there are no accidents, only appointments. Thats right, in other words, in the life of the Christian, God is in control and you can trust that what is going on in your life is being overseen by the Father for your good. You may not like that or it may not feel like good in that moment, but it is. Now this morning we are going to look at one of those moments that from our perspective does not look like it is for the good of Jacob, but it is because it is something that God allowed to happen.

So what are we going to look at today? Well, as I said earlier, today we are going to look at a story where Jacob, who is finally referred to as Israel welcomes a new son into the world, but in the process he also will also mourn the loss of his wife Rachel. So, let’s take a look first this morning at what happens when Israel welcomes…

A New Son

It’s so great to hear the cry of a baby again…a cry that Israel hasn’t heard in a while and known that this was a cry that was from his wife that he loved. The wife that started everything for him. Of course what we will see in a moment is that this cry will give way to a mothers last words…Let’s go ahead and read the whole section this morning.

Genesis 35:16–22 ESV

Then they journeyed from Bethel. When they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel went into labor, and she had hard labor. And when her labor was at its hardest, the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for you have another son.” And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. So Rachel died, and she was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem), and Jacob set up a pillar over her tomb. It is the pillar of Rachel’s tomb, which is there to this day. Israel journeyed on and pitched his tent beyond the tower of Eder. While Israel lived in that land, Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine. And Israel heard of it. Now the sons of Jacob were twelve.

Whew…there’s alot of emotion in that very short passage here. Let’s start off and take a look at the

Birth (vv. 16–17)

When Rachel learned she was pregnant she would have been overjoyed. She named her first son Joseph, which means “adding” hoping and praying that she would be adding another in the future, and now here she finally is. She would have likely been around 50 years old here, and Israel a little over 100 at this time. God answered her prayer by giving her another boy. Jacob now has twelve sons, the twelve tribes of Israel.

However, this birth very quickly gave way to

Death (vv. 18, 19)

Death in childbirth was not an uncommon occurrence in the ancient world. Actually in the Babylonian literature we read that there were spells that would be read in order to attempt to protect the mother and child in the birthing process. This is because the birthing process was hard, and was believed to have had a demon who attacked women and children in childbirth. Well Rachel is the woman who told Jacob to give her children or she would die. Now, Rachel would die, as she gives birth to her second son. Just to be clear, we shouldn’t interpret her death as a judgment from God because of her rash statement or because she stole her father’s idols. Look life is complicated, full of joys and sorrows…the same baby that brought Rachel and her husband tears of joy also brought tears of sorrow.

Those tears of sorrow is what led Rachel to name this child Ben-oni which means “son of my sorrow”. Of course that would not be the most favorable name for a man to carry through life, reminding him that his birth had helped cause his mother’s death. Sorrow would overshadow his every birthday. However, Jacob was always ready to do something different, so he renamed Ben-oni to Benjamin, which means “son of my right hand,” that’s a name to be honored. Did you know that the first King of Israel came from the tribe of Benjamin…The Apostle Paul was also known to be from the tribe of Benjamin.

The sorrow that was felt led to

Mourning (vv. 20-21)

Well more than 20 years prior Jacob had set up a pillar at Bethel to commemorate his meeting with God. Now he set up a pillar to memorialize his beloved wife Rachel…the wife he loved more than others. You will remember that it is Rachel that led to him having the family and the riches that he has today. If it were not for him loving Rachel he would have have worked for 7 years to marry her, allowing him to be tricked into marrying her sister Leah. Then if he did not love Rachel he would not have worked an additional 7 years to marry her as well. After working those years he worked for her father to build wealth and be able to provide for him not growing family that at that time had 11 sons and other daughters .

Israel builds a memorial pillar for Rachel. It was located “on the way to Ephrath,” which is another name for Bethlehem. Tradition places Rachel’s tomb about a mile north of Bethlehem, on the road to Jerusalem. Bethlehem is an interesting place. You see, if it wasn’t for the birth of Jesus, this small town would be remembered mostly for the death of Rachel rather than the Birth of Jesus. You see, because Jesus came, we will have a time when a land of sorrow will be changed to good news of great joy when the Angels tell the shepherds about the Birth of Jesus.

Of course this mourning unfortunately brings about

Betrayal (vv.22)

What does betrayal look like in a family when you experience loss. What is it about families that seemingly turn on each other and give each other a hard time during a time of mourning? I’ve seen it so many times…but it doesn’t have to be that way. Well, listen, if you have experienced the loss of a loved one and then have experienced what felt like a betrayal within your family I want you to know that you’re not alone. Let me tell you about Israel’s family who experienced grief in a way that caused some pretty substantial betrayal.

Reuben was Jacob’s firstborn son, so he was likely in his twenties. Bilhah was Rachel’s maid and had given Jacob two sons, Dan and Naphtali, Reuben’s half brothers. It’s possible that Rachel’s recent death left Bilhah longing to be with Jacob again and Reuben used this opportunity to act. Reuben acted disgracefully and slept with Bilhah his fathers wife. Reuben would have known that Jacob loved Rachel more than his mother Leah and so by moving towards Bilhah he was signifying a move towards Rachel. The text here doesn’t indicate that Reuben assaulted Bilhah and so we can safely assume this was consensual.

However, this sin of Reuben was far more than a simple lustful appetite. For a son to take a fathers wife in this manner was a declaration that he was taking charge as the head of the family. We see the same thing later when Abner took King Saul’s concubine. Absalon declared himself ruler by taking his father, King David’s concubines later. This was a common practice in both the Jewish ruling system as well as other ruling systems. So if Rueben’s purpose was to take over the family, it was a little worse to be honest. You see, Rueben decided that he couldn’t wait to have his inheritance…He had to have it now!

This betrayal should have been met with immediate action, and maybe under normal circumstances it would…However, Jacob lost the wife of his youth and so he did nothing immediately. It would be well known that his heart was broken by what his son had done. His son had enticed his wife to have an adulterous affair. That action alone is betrayal enough, but when that action involved your own son as the perpetrator, this makes things a bit extra difficult to take. Reuben did show some character in protecting Joseph from death, but he wasn’t able to save him from slavery. Maybe Rueben felt remorse for what he had done over time…There is something we iknow for sure though, Even with Reuben being the firstborn, his brothers didn’t respect his leadership. In his old age, Jacob exposed Reuben’s sin and deprived him of the rights of the firstborn, giving them to Joseph.

You see, there are false teachers that will teach that if you only have enough faith and pray hard enough you will avoid bad things from happening. You guys know better than that! After all you guys prayed God would lead you a good pastor and you got stuck with me ;)…Really though, Those who will teach that our dedication to the Lord will automatically protect us from trouble and tears need to just re-read Genesis 35 carefully.

God has clearly forgiven Jacob, he even renamed him into Israel. Israel was clearly walking by faith with the Lord as he moved from Schechem into Bethel, and he was walking in faith and obedience as he moved forward. Oh he wasn’t perfect because no one is…but he was progressively being sanctified more and more everyday into the image of the Living God. Nevertheless, Israel had heartbreak and tears and heartbreak and betrayal. He still had his share of trials that he had no control of. The thing is, if we obey the Lord solely for what we can get out of it, not because he is worthy of our love and obedience, then our hearts and motives are wrong. Honestly, we become the type of people that Satan accused Job of being. However, if we obey the Lord because that is what we are called to do as beleivers…then we are living a life that is pleasing to the Lord. Before you leave out of here today, I want to ask you a question.

What is your purpose/goal?

I want you to quietly answer this question and then I want you to remember what Jacob has been learning over the last 50 years or so of his life. Remember, there are no accidents, only appointments. Jacob, now Israel has been learning more and more to trust God every step of the way and he has been learning that even in the hard times, like when you are mourning and experiencing betrayal, that you have one purpose…one goal, do you know what that goal is? Well, let’s read it together on the screen this morning.

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Whatever you do…do it to the glory of God and not self…That is what Isreal spent a life learning and hopefully you and I can pick up on that lesson a little faster than good ‘ol Israel did! Let’s pray.

Prayer: pray that we will begin to be focused on living lived that glorify God and not self.