THE WEDDING OF DANIEL AND MADISON CARMANY

§ Seating

§ Processional (2:00)

§ Words of Welcome

Minister:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. On behalf of Dan and Maddie and their families, I want to welcome you and thank you so much for gathering to witness this marriage, and to celebrate what God is up to in the life of this couple. You may be seated.

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§ Declaration of Purpose

Minister:

Whenever we gather together for a wedding, we are gathering to witness, to recognize, and to affirm the love and commitment of a man and a woman to one another before God. Marriage is this joyful convenanting between husband and wife in which they proclaim, before God and human witnesses, their commitment to live together in spiritual, physical, and material unity. One of the reasons I love weddings so much is because I believe that when we bear witness to a groom and bride coming together, that there’s actually an echo of the way that God sought us out in love, and reconciled us to Himself through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ. So as Dan and Maddie enter into this covenant of marriage today, we also remember and celebrate the covenant of grace that God has made with us through Jesus. It’s because of His love that we’re here today. Marriage was His idea; and it’s God’s love and provision in our lives that makes marriage so beautiful. Human commitment is fragile, and human love imperfect, but the promise of God is eternal and the love of God can bring our love to perfection.

§ Declaration of Intent‌

Minister: (To Dan)

Before God and these witnesses, will you, Dan, take Maddie to be your wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love and comfort her, honor and keep her, and, in joy and in sorrow, preserve with her this bond? And forsaking all others, will you be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

Dan: (Earnestly) uhm, yes.

Minister: (To Maddie)

Before God and these witnesses, will you, Maddie, take Dan to be your husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love and comfort him, honor and keep him, and, in joy and in sorrow, preserve with him this bond? And forsaking all others, will you be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

Maddie: (With enthusiasm) Yes.

Minister:

And now to you who’ve gathered: Will you who witness this covenant between Dan and Madi respect their marriage and sustain them with your friendship and care?

Congregation: Fo’ sho’.

‌Minister: (To Congregation)

Who presents this woman to be married to this man?

Father of the Bride: I do/Her mother and I.

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§ Invocation

Minister:

Because God has instituted marriage and intends for it to bring blessing and joy, and since we have gathered to witness this covenant between Dan and Maddie, and because they have come with the intent to make it, let us pray to God, who will establish and keep this marriage with His abiding love.

*prayer to God asking for His blessing on the marriage and His presence throughout the ceremony.

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§ Public Reading of Scripture (Emmy)

Ecc 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

§ Homily

Well as we get things going, for any of you who don’t know me, my name is Clay Wright… and I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Dan for years and years as classmates and as friends as we grew up together. And as we continue with the ceremony, I want to pause and talk a little bit about my friends, and then to offer my final words and blessings to the couple.

Dan, you and I first met in time immemorial, in the great era of the early 2000’s. My earliest memory of our friendship is a toss up between a couple of different stories probably somewhere around second grade. In all of them the details are a bit fuzzy, but in each of them one thing is clear: no matter how the story begins, they all end with me absolutely beside myself laughing at something that you did that I didn’t think could be done.

Dan, your friendship has been a treasure over the years. There are lots of things that I’ve learned to admire about you throughout our friendship: Your depth of thought and character, your loyalty in friendship, the way you truly love and gently serve others. And in the midst of it all, I will always admire you as one of the absolute funniest people I have ever known. Dan, you have a way of lighting up whatever place you find yourself in. You did it with us at Open Door. You did it at Malone. You’re doing it in your career. And I know that you’ll bring that same love, that same loyalty, and that same light and and that same laughter into your marriage.

You know, while we were growing up, our friendgroup liked to make bets and predictions. And I remember one time we were trying to predict the order in which we would get married and have kids and all that, and one thing I noticed is that we all put Dan in these wildly different places. Like, we just didn’t know where to place him. He was like a loose canon in our weird, twisted March Madness Bracket. I don’t remember what we ever ended up with, but I’m pretty sure we all lost, because as it turns out, fifth graders aren’t really that good at predicting these sorts of things.

And so you can imagine how intrigued we were when we found out that Dan had gotten himself into a serious relationship with this gal named Maddie! Maddie, I’ve so loved getting to know you over the years at special occasions and on holidays, and even as we spent some time getting prepared for this day. And what I’ve grown to realize and appreciate about you is that, even for all our middle school machinations about who Dan would end up with, none of us could have chosen a woman for Dan who would be a better fit than you are. God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought you two together. You match Dan’s depth, but you do it also with this groundedness and a steadiness that you bring into all your relationships. Honestly, it’s been so cool to watch your relationship grow, because those of us who have known Dan for longer than five minutes know that he needs that groundedness and that steadiness. It’s like a rock that he’ll dive off of into all his endeavors, and you’ll both be better for it.

[[Earlier, we heard a reading from the book of Ecclesiastes,]] and I think that’s a great reading for us to consider further today before we wrap things up, because it’s a passage that’s all about traveling companions. It’s about the friends that God gives us as a blessing along the way as we’re walking this journey of life. And Dan, you certainly have been that for me, and already you’ve been that for one another, but from this day forward your companionship is going to move into a whole new season.

And in short, what the preacher has to say is summed up in verse nine when he says that “Two are better than one…” [[But then]] the preacher goes on to explain why that is: It’s because in life, and in marriage, all along the way we are virtually guaranteed to find dangers, discomforts, and adversity.

And yet, when we have someone to journey with, as he explains,

we can share the heavy load and burden of life, and get a better return from our labor.

We can help one another when we stumble and fall through mishap or mistake.

We can keep one another keep warm in the cold and in the darkness of the night, and

we can stand together against an enemy who would knock us off course.

And as I read through and prayed through this passage, there are really two final things I wanted to share with you.

And the first thing is that [[companions are made for the moments of difficulty]]. As you already know, marriage is going to be a great adventure. And like all great adventures, it’s full of both excitement, and danger. It’s full of mountaintop views, and difficult valleys. And the true test of a companion isn’t how they respond at the high points, but it’s the way that they lean in to their commitment in the low points: When the burden is heavy, when the night is cold, and when the enemy is pressing in on every side, let this be a reminder that when those dark moments come, it is precicely for those moments that God has brought you two together.

The reality is that there will be many times when you come to the end of yourselves as you embark on this new life together. It can be tempting to insist on your own way, to look out for your own interests, or to love only when the other person deserves it. But thanks be to God that this is not the way that we learn to love from Jesus! Jesus didn’t love us only when we deserve it. He didn’t wait to love us until we found our way back to the path. He demonstrated His love for us in a different way. As Paul writes in Romans 5:6–8 “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

And in order to weather the storm, what we need to do is actually love one another with Christ’s kind of love. A love that is focused on the other person. A love that is self-sacrificial. A love that doesn’t fail.

Yet at the end of the day, try as we might, we all fail to live up to these ideals. None of us does it perfectly. But that’s because, in the end, the kind of love that we need doesn’t come from us. What we need, if we’re really going to make things work, is to love one another with the love we receive from God.

And in the end, I believe that this is the sort of thing that the Preacher was getting at back in Ecclesiastes when he says that “a cord of three strands is not easily broken…” See, even when two people come together, we in ourselves simply don’t have what it takes to weather the storms of life. And the amazing thing about the analogy here in Ecclesiastes is that when you add a third strand to a cord, the strength of the final rope isn’t just the sum of the individual pieces. The strength isn’t added; it’s actually multiplied! A three stranded cord is able to withstand far more than they could if they were separated and trying to bear the load. And this is exactly what happens in our marriage when we weave Christ in as the center cord of our lives. The strength of our love isn’t just added together; rather it’s multiplied by the presence of Christ in us.

And so our most precious hope in marriage is this: Not that one day I’ll learn to do it perfectly all the time, but rather that where my love fails, God’s love in me is sure. That when the cord is stretched thin, and when it’s being tried and tested, we’re trusting not only in one another but also in that third strand of Christ and His unfailing love. That where my love is untempered and fragile, God’s love in me is strong and everlasting.

So this is my invitation to the two of you as you set off: As you walk this journey together, love one another. But love one another not by trying harder. Instead, love one another by being filled up with God’s love for you, and for your spouse. Make God the center of your marriage, and make receiving His love, and being filled with His love, the most important thing in your life. This is the way of Christ! And this is the only way to ensure safe arrival in the journey ahead.

That is my wish for you, so now, let me make it my prayer for you. Let’s pray together.

§ Prayer of Blessing Over the Couple

Heavenly Father, would you bless and keep Dan and Maddie. Would you make your face shine upon them, and be gracious to them. Because of Your love, would you lift Your countenance upon them, and give them peace and joy as they embark on this new journey together. Father, would you use this adventure to make them more like Your Son, Jesus, who served and loved us with everything He had. And so would you continue to draw Dan and Maddie together as an image of the way You long to draw all people to Yourself. And may they be a masterpiece of Your love made visible all the days of their lives. Not by their own effort, poise, or concession; but only by Your grace, and in the name of your Son Jesus. Amen.

§ Exchanging of Vows

Minister:

Now we come to the exchanging of vows.

In Mark Chapter 10 we read that “…at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (6-9). In marriage we are joined together, and part of what God uses to join us together are the very vows that we make as a part of the marriage covenant.

These vows set the grounds for and put language to the abiding commitment that you’re making today. They will help to shape your marriage, and will stir you to greater and greater love.

And before we give the vows, there’s a quote that you asked me to read that fits right in here. It’s by author Julia Quinn, and it goes like this:

"Love is not a thing that one is able or not able to do based on some magic chemistry that’s for plays. Love is determination. Love is a choice one makes. You take someone in marriage and you choose to love them. You do not give yourself any other option because marriage is difficult and full of pains. So, you grab someone and you hang onto them. You love and you love hard" (Julia Quinn).

And this reminds me of another favorite quote of mine, that up until this day, your love for one another has sustained your relationship; but from this day onward, it is your marriage, and the vows that you make, that will sustain your love.

See, when we make vows, we aren’t promising that we love one another now; but rather we are promising that through all of life’s trials, the flame of this love will not go out. Feelings will come and go, but as you walk through life with one another, and as you strive to live a life of faithfulness, God is the One who will draw you together.

So, go ahead and face one another and join hands.

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Dan, repeat after me:

I, Daniel, take you, Madison, to be my wife,

To have and to hold from this day forward,

For better, or for worse,

For richer, or for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish

As long as we both shall live.

To this I pledge myself

Truly with all my heart.

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Maddie, please repeat after me‌:

I, Madison, take you, Daniel, to be my husband,

To have and to hold from this day forward,

For better, or for worse,

For richer, or for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish

As long as we both shall live‌,

To this I pledge myself

Truly with all my heart.

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§ Exchanging of Rings‌

Minister:

In keeping with God’s design for marriage, covenants have always had signs to serve as a binding reminder of the commitment made. And you, Dan and Madi, have chosen rings to be an enduring symbol of your marriage covenant. May we now have the rings?

These rings have no beginning and no end, and as such they set forth the eternal nature of real love. As you wear them, they will represent the love and trust that you promise to each other this day, and serve as an abiding sign of your union.

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(To groom) Dan, will you take this ring and place it on Madi’s finger, and as you do, repeat to her, after me, these words:

I give you this ring

as a token and pledge

of my abiding faith and love.

In the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

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(To bride) Madi, will you take this ring and place it on Dan’s finger, and as you do, repeat to him, after me, these words:

I give you this ring

as a token and pledge

of my abiding faith and love.

In the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

§ Pronouncement of Marriage and Sign of Peace

Minister:

So then, Dan and Madi, inasmuch as you have exchanged vows and rings before God and these gathered witnesses, by virtue of the authority entrusted to me as a minister of Christ’s church, and in agreement with the laws of the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

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[MOVE OUT OF THE WAY] Dan, you may kiss the bride.

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§ Presentation of the Couple

Minister:

And now, it is my honor to be the first to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Daniel and Madison Carmany.

§ Post Ceremony Instructions

*thank you again!

* photos following

you’ll be dismissed by row *Reception begins at 3:30 with a cocktail hour at the Onesto Evrnt Center, after which the couple is looking forward to continuing to celebrate with you.

Grace and peace, you’re dismissed!