Finding God

To this day, October 28, 2007 is the worst day of my life. My youngest son, Isaiah, was born. He wasn’t supposed to be born until sometime in February but on October 27th he came into this world. Jan Neighbors and I talk about the NICU at Huntsville Hospital being the best, we talk from experience. The team there took amazing care of my son. Sadly, the next morning, on the 28th, his body refused several blood transfusions but the team there were still working, as if my son was the only baby in that hospital. Finally, the doctor came to me and gave some options. They said they would keep working and keep trying but he may die. Or, we can hold him and let him be loved by his parents. I chose the latter. I have preached a lot of funerals but that one still tops the list as the most difficult. What is worse, and let me caveat here that the people mean well, is the things people will say sometimes to try to make you feel better. People would say things like, “God needed an angel” or “God knew something you didn’t know.” Yeah, it wasn’t helpful because at that particular moment, if God needed my angel, I wanted nothing to do with that God. In fact, I realized that there are times when I feel like I need more than what God has to offer.

Our scripture text in 2 Corinthians is a common text used in funerals and memorial services. I have drawn from its truth many times, but not that time. I had no interest in hearing the words, “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed” I certainly did not like, “do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure.” It made me wonder if anyone wanted to hear those words during such a time.

I know the people of Corinth were not interested in Paul's words but for different reasons. We have to remember that 2 Corinthians is in the middle of things between Paul and the Corinthians. In fact, it is in the middle of a mess. There is a lot going on. Paul writes about being comforted but also anguished. So, it seems in 2 Corinthians, Paul is all over the place. He is emotional, vulnerable, and hostile. There are moments when he is profound and sarcastic as well as bold and begging. This makes our scripture reading from 2 Corinthians also kind of difficult. See Paul is writing to a group of successful people. People, who seemingly have everything they need. Paul was not successful or triumphant enough for a minister of Christ. They considered his suffering to be weak and shameful. Add to that, Paul is writing to tell them to see God’s glory and depend on God because this faith thing is not situational. Hardships will and have come. They, like me, were probably not interested.

I guess the problem here is timing. Paul was describing his own hardships and reminding them that even in death there is a wonderful hope that those of us who belong to Christ and experience his living power in this life will also belong to him on the other side of death and will therefore be raised with him. So there's this hope of resurrection that is found through Christ. This is fantastic news! But, if you are right in the midst of death or things are going so well that you would rather not think of death, how well does that message come across?

Barbara Brown Taylor, in the book we are studying this month, Leaving Church, conveys a problem that all of us clergy folk feel. She writes, “We are not God, but we spend so much time tending the God-place in people’s lives that it is easy to understand why someone might get us confused.” Let me repeat, We are not God! Instead, we are called to fill in for Jesus as the communion table, standing where he once stood and saying what he once said. We are called to preach his gospel and feed his sheep. Sadly, we know that eventually, because we are not God that we will disappoint everyone in our lives from God down.

Rev. Taylor writes, Most of us do not live, especially, holy lives. We spend most of our time sitting in traffic, paying bills and being irritated with one another. Yet every week we are invited to stop all of that for one hour at least and participate in a great drama that has been going on without us for thousands of years. But, this drama was the one that encapsulated me several years back. I was in a low period of the drama but God’s presence never waned. God’s love never stopped. As Paul writes, “Grace extended more and more.”

But sometimes that is difficult to hear. Rev. Taylor had to be reminded of this truth as well. She writes that her friend told her, “No matter how far I might feel from God, God was not far from me.” Sadly, that doesn’t take away the feeling. I have to wonder if that is how the Israelite nation felt. We have this sad story where the elders asked Samuel for a king. For context, in Exodus 18 there is a story of Moses judging or making decisions from morning till evening. His father-in-law came and told him what he was doing wasn’t good. Instead, he needed to appoint judges over tens, fifties, hundreds, and thousands and let the major decisions come to him. This carried on for several years. There is even a whole book about it called “Judges.” These judges were essentially the rulers. Except, sadly, things never really went great. Instead, each succeeding judge was worse than the previous judge. The book concludes with Samson. This is where 1 Samuel picks up. Now, in English Bibles between Judges and 1 Samuel is the book of Ruth. This little wonderful book is placed there because it tells about King David’s great grandmother. However, in the Hebrew Bible, the order is different based on the style or classification of the writing. So 1 Samuel picks up with Samuel as the judge. Things are going ok. Not amazing but ok. But, Samuel’s kids did not follow his ways, as the text tells us. Instead, they were greedy and unfair. They could easily be bribed.

So, It makes sense that they were tired of the Judges. The judges were supposed to bring them closer to God, but instead the message got mixed up. The judges were not God. In fact, they were the exact opposite of God. So, the people wanted a king. They wanted someone, like the other people, to lead them. God gives them what they want. They aren’t rejecting you, but they are rejecting God who has done all these great things despite themselves. Give them what they want except remind them that a king will make things tough for them.

He will take your sons and appoint them to his chariots and to be his horsemen, and to run before his chariots; and he will appoint for himself commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and some to plow his ground and to reap his harvest, and to make his implements of war and the equipment of his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive orchards and give them to his courtiers. He will take one-tenth of your grain and of your vineyards and give it to his officers and his courtiers. He will take your male and female slaves, and the best of your cattle and donkeys, and put them to his work. He will take one-tenth of your flocks, and you shall be his slaves.

However, none of it mattered, they wanted a king. They wanted something completely opposite of what they had been experiencing. I get that. If the judges represented God then they wanted something more than God no matter the cost!

Unfortunately, that is a large problem in our society today. I cringe when I hear stories on the news about some church scandal. I hate how often these stories misrepresent the wonderful amazing gospel of Jesus. The church is not God but I can see why things get mixed up. When I see or hear about them, it makes sense that they would say I want to leave church and reject God, no matter how difficult it makes my life because I want exactly the opposite of that!

That is what this summer series is all about. Last week, we figured out that some people are burnt out because they put serving God before their relationship with God. The church should help foster this relationship. It has to help build the relationship. It should invite everyone to participate in this wonderful drama that has been going on for quite some time and will continue to go on as long as there is a single player left standing. Rev. Taylor says if this terrific mystery is not apparent to most people sitting in the pews, then there are at least two things wrong. One is that the worship has become too tame and the other is that those who come have stopped bringing their own fire. She writes, Worship is a communal practice. Everyone is involved because it is too much for one person. Remember, no one here is God.

This belief is what is known as the priesthood of all believers. This doctrine believes that all can approach God and all are participants in God’s grace and love. See, something interesting about God’s grace and love is that despite me not interested in hearing from God back then; despite the Corinthian church not being interested that faith in God is eternal; despite the people of Israel rejecting God and desiring a king; despite our common modern problem where people mistake the people of God as God and wanting nothing to do with the church; despite Rev. Taylor’s compassion fatigue and her leaving the church; despite all that and more; God’s love for us never changed! God still invites us to participate in his love and grace for us because when we participate, God’s grace and glory abounds.

Gradually, Rev. Taylor learned that the church is not a stopping place but a starting place for discerning God’s presence. For her, she said she never found a church where she felt completely at home again but made a new home in the world. That makes sense but that makes me sad. It is my hope that things are different here. I hope that no matter the circumstance, no matter the timing, It is my hope that Faith Presbyterian church is never a stopping place but a starting place for anyone who wishes to find God and experience all his grace and goodness.

Grace and Peace