Untitled Sermon (7)

Overcoming Addictions in Christ

Unforgiveness and Bitterness, Shortcuts back to addiction (Lesson 9)

We began by learning that our heart is the reason why we do what we do.

Building on that, I suggested that there are two doors that lead to addiction.

· We might think of it as two overarching reasons people choose addiction.

(i) Stop the pain.

(ii) To get pleasure.

In the weeks that followed, I explained what the Bible teaches us about how to overcome addiction.

· Continue to put those principles into practice.

Over the next three weeks, I'm going to talk with you about shortcuts back to addiction.

· There are reasons why addiction became attractive to you.

· If you don't deal with those reasons, it will be a shortcut back to addiction.

Today, we’ll begin by focusing on bitterness and unforgiveness.

QUESTION: Has Someone ever done something to hurt you?

· I'm not talking about the minor things we all deal with.

· Rather, did someone abuse you?

· Were you the victim of a crime?

· Were you the target of physical, sexual, or emotional violence?

It could have been recent, or it may have happened decades ago.

Maybe, even now, as I mentioned this, you're beginning to tense up.

· This is likely a conversation you work hard to avoid because what was done to you was so terrible that even thinking about it sweeps you right back into the event as if you're reliving it.

Maybe, part of the reason you began your addiction was to cover painful thoughts and feelings that never seemed to disappear.

**The Bible can help you with that.

1. God knows what was done to you.

Hebrews 4:13 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.

Psalm 139:2–4 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understandmy thought from afar. 3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all.

· scrutinizemeans to separate out and examine carefully.

a) Not only does He know, but He also promised to punish all sin.

Ecclesiastes 12:14 14 For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.

b) Please remember that you have dignity and worth because you’re created in God's image.

o No one can take that away.

c) Also, know that there’s hope because God knows how to heal you.

Psalm 147:3 3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

That healing often begins with a spiritually mature Christian friend who knows how to walk with you through God’s Word to minister to you.

Here’s one way you need to be ministered to:

I want to gently suggest that if this is your story: bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger will put roots deeply into your heart if you allow it.

· Roots that connect to every aspect of your life.

· If you don't deal with it, you'll find that this is a continual shortcut back to addiction.

It's been said that having bitterness, unforgiveness, and hatred in your heart is like drinking poison and hoping someone else gets sick.

· If you don't deal with this God's way, it will eat away at you like rust consumes metal, like rot destroys wood, or cancer kills a body.

2. God's answer for bitterness and anger is forgiveness.

a) What forgiveness is not.

o Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the offender is or should be released from consequences, including criminal penalties.

o God often uses consequences to draw people into salvation and sanctification. (Romans 13:1-4 is just one passage that makes this clear.)

i) Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation.

§ Forgiveness is between you and God, whereby you release the person from the debt for sinning against you.

§ However, reconciliation requires repentance.

§ In Matthew 5:23-26 Jesus pictures someone who comes to worship but has done something wrong to another.

§ That person is first to go be reconciled, which requires repentance.

a) What is forgiveness?

<Matthew 18:21-35>

· Forgiveness must come from a heart filled with joy at being forgiven by God.

Two Greek words are often translated as "forgive."

(i) To send away, to lay aside, leave, remit, to give up.

· Matthew 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

(ii) To show favor, give freely.

· Colossians 3:12 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”

Forgiveness is not a matter of feelings or emotions; it’s a Holy Spirit-empowered choice we make.

3. Four promises of forgiveness.

In Ken Sande's book "The Peacemaker,"[1] he offers four promises that make up the framework of forgiveness.

1. I will not dwell on this incident.

· Guard your thoughts.

2. I will not bring up this incident or use it against you.

· The person who sinned against you is released from the debt.

3. I will not talk to others about this incident.

· This does not include seeking counsel. The point is to talk about it for the sake of maliciousness.

4. It is not my desire to have[2] this incident stand between us or hinder our relationship.

· There is no requirement to put yourself in harm's way; reconciliation comes with repentance.

o If someone has abused or harmed you, the Bible doesn’t require that you seek that person out to have a relationship with.

Are you willing to walk in the freedom that Jesus offers those willing to forgive?

Five Keys to Overcoming Addictions in Christ this week:

1. What to pray: Tell God about your pain and ask Him to give you the strength to follow Jesus by forgiving. Ask Him to help you take thoughts captive once you’ve forgiven the person.

2. What to remember: God cares about you and what happened to you. Forgiveness is about following the example and commands of our Lord Jesus, and in that, God will give you great freedom and peace as you let go of unforgiveness and bitterness.

3. What to memorize: Ephesians 4:32

4. What to study: Matthew 18:21-35, The command to forgive is based on the forgiveness God has given us. Study carefully what Jesus teaches in this parable, particularly how this applies to your life. The king represents God, and the forgiven servant represents you. The fellow servant that the forgiven servant demands payment from is who sinned against you. Jesus is saying that you forgive because God has forgiven you.

5. What to do: Write a letter to the person who hurt you, even if they are dead or no longer part of their life. Take the time to write out what that person did and how it hurt you. Don't rush through this; spend time putting your experiences, thoughts, and feelings into the letter.

Then go somewhere alone, or if a mature Christian friend is helping you through this, take them, and read the letter aloud as if the person who hurt you is sitting there listening. Once you're done, review the four promises listed earlier in the lesson to remind yourself what exactly you're doing in offering forgiveness. If you agree to forgive, write "THIS IS FORGIVEN" at the bottom of the page and sign and date it. Then put that letter in an envelope and seal it. Over the seal, sign it, and write the date, and only refer to it when you begin to feel unforgiveness creeping back in to be reminded that you will no longer hold that grudge. There’s no need to open the envelope; remember by looking at the sealed and signed envelope.

In this, you will obey God and experience tremendous freedom in Christ.

[1] Ken Sande, The Peacemaker, Baker Books (2004) [2] Adaptation suggested by Dr. Ernie Baker in a course on Biblical Conflict Resolution BC362, The Master’s University