2 Samuel 13.1-22

The Start of a Contentious Kingdom

Intro

“the sword would strike David’s house repeatedly, so that years that should have seen steady advances in godliness instead became a trail of heartbreak and loss that reduced David to a mockery of the high figure he had once presented” (Phillips, 247).

Prop: Flee from sin’s effects.

[1] a sinful violation (vv. 1-14)

[2] a sorrowful venture (vv. 15-22)

[1] a sinful violation (vv. 1-14)

Sin says I want it now, when we should stand against it.

Issue of sexual immorality, how it makes us do the unthinkable.

Continuation of the wages of sin …

Amnon was David’s firstborn son, 2 Samuel 3:2–3“And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur;”

Unknown reasons why Absalom is next in line. Irony in his name “son of peace” yet Absalom would become a terror to David and his descendants.

The long-lasting effects of sin continue to wreak havoc on David, even after his repentance.

2 Samuel 12:10–12“Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.’ ””

Amnon’s reaction toward his own sister is sickening to our own ears, and it was sickening to him as well. The word used in Hebrew is more common in poetry, indicating a feeling of affliction or distress. It was a distress related to the problem between Amnon desiring his own sister’s virginity and the sin that so plagued him viciously.

Amnon’s “friend” who we would say is not much of a friend for encouraging his own sin, decides to help Amnon in this quest for sexual conduct. We are told that Jonadab “was a very crafty man.” The same expression is used in Genesis 3:1“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?””

The craft of the devil has remained unchanged. At any given point is a question asked in relation to the veracity of God’s own Word. Just as Satan gives Eve God-separating counsel, so also does Jonadab encourage the sin of Amnon.

The ploy is an extension of his craftiness. The only way Amnon could succeed is to take advantage of his sisters obedience to authority as the older brother. And it seems that the act of pretending to be sick was unnoticeable to David himself, as he admonishes Tamar to go and help her brother.

It is quite obvious how the charity we have towards others is often taken advantage of. Tamar was not lewdly dressed, or showing any acts that would encourage such behavior from Amnon. Rather, she is demonstrating a servant heart.

The craftiness continues as Amnon sends out the rest who were in the room with him. This would have eliminated any possibility for Tamar to have a witness to the conduct which was about to take place. Often, those who sin wickedly do not want their sins exposed.

We see this in the teachings of Jesus Himself. John 3:20“For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”

[Doctrine] Nature of Sin

There is a perversion in us; we are so unholy we find it supremely difficult genuinely to hate sin (DRD, 166)

Dale Ralph Davis comments: “Terror takes a second or two. In ten minutes Tamar’s whole life lies in tatters.”

Use 1. If you do not stop sin, it will continue throughout your offspring.

We see this idea of generational sins expressed in Scripture in many ways. Abraham for example lied twice to persuade others that Sarah was his sister. And this carries over into Isaac, and even in to Jacob and Esau. Jacob himself craftily convinces his own father that he is Esau to receive the blessings.

It is obvious as well that the sexual sins of David carry over into his own family as well. His firstborn acts in a similar way in taking a woman who was not rightfully his and obviously forbidden by the Mosaic Law.

Leviticus 18:6““None of you shall approach any one of his close relatives to uncover nakedness. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 18:9“You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether brought up in the family or in another home.” To uncover one’s nakedness is a reference to having sexual relationships with them. In the same way that when Ham/Canaan, uncovered the nakedness of his father is a reference to his illicit sexual relationship with his own mother.

As Christians, we need to be mindful of the effects of our sins on our own offspring. They are watching you and observing your conduct. Either they are shaped by the Word or by your sin. Modern psychology rightly identifies that those who were abused as children will become abusive. Those that had addicted personalities were influenced by their parents. Children who come from divorced families often become divorced themselves. It is a deadly cycle which must be broken.

Are you mortifying these sins in your family life? There is nothing we can do to change the past insofar as there is nothing a leopard can do to change its spots. What we can change is what has been changed by the power of God, your will, affections, and emotions. When we put God’s word as the priority of our lives, the old man has no more influence, the new man bought by the blood of Christ seeps through even our ungodliness and promotes godly examples in the lives of our children.

Even if you do not have a family, as a single or young child, you have the decision to make. Will you allow the sins of your fathers or mothers or family be that which influences your behavior? Or will you allow God and His transformative power to be the one working in you? Break the cycle now.

Use 2. If you do not stop sin, it will manifest in wicked ways.

This is what we see with Amnon laying with his own sister. She even pleads with her own brother not to violate her. In contrast to David laying with Bathsheba, which points to a consensual relationship, Amnon obviously takes her virginity with violence.

Like all sin, it began with a desire. James 1:15 “Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

This is the same issue in the Garden. Adam was to be PPK. Defend his wife from error, keep the Garden clean, proclaim God’s Word, and the temptation and desire given over allowed sin. What was the result?

Romans 5:12–14“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.”

It manifests in wicked ways because it takes time. It is a slow process. Rare is sin overt and instantly damaging. Rare is it someone wakes up and becomes a tyrant. In C.S. Lewis’ book “The Screwtape Letters” he provides a great insight into how this is done, “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one--the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts,...Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape.”

Only a pursuit of Christ-likeness can prevent sin from capturing us in a meaningful way.

Use 3. If you do not stop sin, it will destroy you.

Sin has no other endgame than to destroy the Christian. Like the world, it does not care for your everlasting security, nor does it care about your union with Christ. Sin seeks to do nothing more than destroy you.

Sin destroys you physically.

The results of sin are far more long-lasting and broad than just an affront to God. In terms of sexual sin, promiscuity, and so on, there are detrimental effects. As society began to shift in the 60s and 70s the rate of STDs increased drastically. According to the National Institute of Health, in the mid-nineteenth century, STDs rapidly increased. The “my body my choice” movement has only propagated the deadly physical effects of sin. With Amnon, his propensity to sexual sin did not have physical implications on his own life, but on the life of Tamar. Sin does not only destroy us physically, but affects those around us.

The results of sin affect the manner in which we partake of the sacraments. When people in Corinth were partaking of the sacrament in an unworthy manner, that is, unrepentant sin, the results were causing physical illness.

1 Corinthians 11:27–32“Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.”

Sin destroys you spiritually.

Sin is always separating us from God. It is the perpetual wedge that apart from the cross of Jesus Christ, drives us further, and further away from our Father. When Paul speaks to the church at Corinth for their blatant sexual sin and other issues, he recognizes the blatant issues of unrepentant sin.

The Corinthian church dealt with dysfunction, disorder, disagreements, and disunity. Paul deals with expulsion of the wicked men among the church in 1 Corinthians 5:1–2“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.”

And the effect of this is detrimental, 1 Corinthians 6:9–11“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Even though sin has a destroying power in the lives of believers, we must remember what Christ has done for us. Look again at 1 Corinthians 6:11“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” It is the same argument Paul uses in Ephesians 2:1–3“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”

This is the past life, but you were washed, renewed, and bought with a price. If we are not diligent in giving way to the Holy Spirit in exposing us of our sins, we destroy the witness of Christ in our lives. Be watchful and careful, do not give sin a place or opportunity to utterly destroy you. Seek Jesus even in your state of salvation, you need Him more than you realize.

[2] a sorrowful venture (vv. 15-22)

As with most sin, the conscience breaks forth from the sinner. Amnon as with everyone created in the image of God bears a conscience of what is morally acceptable and commanded by God, and what is sinful. We see his action in recognizing his wickedness then turns itself onto Tamar.

The effect of sin, as stated many times thus far, goes far beyond the one who has committed it.

Even though the action of raping his own sister deserves a right judgment and a just judgment, Amnon was still obligated to obey the Mosaic Law in marrying her and paying the financial penalty.

Exodus 22:16–17““If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.”

Deuteronomy 22:28–29““If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.”

Amnon does all he can, like his father, to get rid of the problem. As David confides in Joab to ensure Uriah is out of the picture in his sin, Amnon confided in his counselor Jonadab, to assist him in this endeavor. Amnon kicks her out of the palace and bars the door to never come in again.

We are told Tamar is excommunicated from the presence of her own brother. The robe she is wearing is a mark of her virginity and status. To be a virgin was held in high esteem, as the one flesh union was an important covenantal act between a man and a woman, rooted in the creation and the means by which God would give descendants. Literally, her robe is “a robe of many colors” just as Joseph’s. In a similar way, Tamar was the object of injustice from her own brother, as was Joseph.

Like Joseph, she was thrown out of her covenantal family, left to fend for herself. What is even more alarming is the manner in which Amnon speaks of her. The ESV and other translation add “woman” but literally Amnon says “Put this out of my presence.” In effect, he is not even recognizing her worth as an image bearer of God. “Put this trash outside.”

Are we really aware of the effect of sin in our lives? Look at how a member of David’s own family, one who received the sign of circumcision, was next in line to extend the royal family, yet his actions speak against his status. Like Amnon, even if we receive the sign of baptism, we cannot be sure that we are part of God’s elect. Our fruits and love toward God demonstrate that.

Galatians 5:22–23“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Was any of that in Amnon’s response? Or perhaps were the deeds of the flesh at work? “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, enmity, fits of anger” just to name a few. Do you see the importance of guarding yourself from the issue of sin? Even a prince in the household of David, lest he commune daily with the Lord, can fall from such a height.

Even her own brother could not provide the comfort needed for what had occurred. Tamar, in the matter of minutes, went from a woman of godly stature and valor, to one who lived “a desolate woman.”

Looking back over the story, we see her trapped (vv. 5–11), ignored (vv. 14a, 16b), raped (v. 14b), despised (v. 15), banished (v. 17), and ruined (vv. 18–19, 20b). We must do what Amnon did not do: listen to Tamar. The writer’s viewpoint comes through Tamar’s pleas, and we must hear her if we are to form a proper estimate of Amnon’s deed” (Davis 162)

Use 1. It is the duty of men to honor women.

We have absolutely lost this in the culture. Gone are the days when “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” were common in politeness. Godly men need to be trained to have a biblical attitude toward women. As Philipps writes, “Here is the rule that should be impressed on young men: when interacting with a woman, their duty is to ensure that she is spiritually and emotionally blessed and that she is kept safe at all costs” (249).

Our culture does not honor women. Women are treated as an object of sexual pleasure and nothing more. Philipps again provides a provocative yet truthful understanding of this issue, “Ours is an entire society that feeds on the sensuality of young women and in which the Jonadab-like pornography industry encourages the widespread exploitation of feminine beauty. Therefore, the entire Christian community should be united in cherishing our wives and daughters and in promoting wholesome purity” (250).

Yet we are told in Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

True manhood is not being riled up in political affairs, it is not how many muscles you have, it is not how many possessions you own, true biblical manhood is showing honor to women. Your manliness should not be modeled after the latest Navy Seal veteran on Tiktok, or famous movie star, or outspoken pastor/theologian, but should be modeled after Christ Jesus.

Use 2. It is the duty of fathers to protect their daughters.

David’s interaction is scant, and the text does not provide much detail. All we are told is that “he was very angry.” As William Blaikie asks, “Was this all? Was no punishment found for Amnon? Was he allowed to remain in the palace, the oldest son of the king, with nothing to mark his father’s displeasure, nothing to neutralize his influence with the other royal children, nothing to prevent the repetition of his wickedness?… We cannot but be indignant at the inactivity of David” (198).

It is obvious however, that David does not instantly judge Amnon for his sin. Only conjecture can provide any meaningful understanding of the issue. It seems though that since Amnon was the “next in charge” of the kingship, perhaps David wanted to ensure Amnon’s safety. See how widespread sin can be. Not only was it evident in David’s infidelity with Bathsheba and his murder of Uriah but also as he tends to allow sin to fester amongst his own children.

Nonetheless, fathers must protect their daughters from this world. And it was within the Torah to protect daughters. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 provides these guidelines.

One way in which fathers protect their daughters is by demonstrating what a good husband and man of God ought to be. Ephesians 5:25–27 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

As a husband you are called to be a leader of the home, willing to lay down your life even for your wife and children. A beautiful example of this is seen in the recent assassination attempt of Trump. Corey Comperatore, 50, was a volunteer firefighter and father who died shielding his family from shooting. It was stated he shielded his wife and daughters as the gunmen recklessly shot into the crowd. That is a pure example of one laying down his life for his wife.

And we are called to protect our daughters because this is what Christ has done for us. Jesus as the head of the church laid down his own life for her.

Use 3. It is the duty of Christians to hate sin.

Romans 12:9“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Sin ought to be repulsive. Puritan John Owen famously wrote, “The Mortification of Sin,” providing biblical guidelines for destroying and killing sin. Mortification is an act accomplished by the Spirit. And so he gives three ways we are to mortify, or put to death, sin.

[1] By causing our hearts to abound in grace and the fruits that are contrary to the works of the flesh.

It is solely a work of the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5“he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,” Remembering we are constantly being renewed is a great confidence to escape the torment of sin.

Our sin is like a wine stain on a white shirt. Often it takes several runs through the washer to begin to lessen the stain, but even still, the stain often remains and we must throw it out. For us, our stains are removed positionally in Christ, we are totally justified, but while we live in this mortal body we will continually endeavor after new obedience in the obliteration of sin until Christ returns or we go to him.

[2] By the effective destruction of the root and habit of sin.

Later he says that sin “is a cloud, a thick cloud, that spreads itself over the face of the soul, and intercepts all the beams of God’s love and favour.” It is utterly destructive. Likewise he says, “A man may beat down the bitter fruit from an evil tree until he is weary but while the root of the tree continues to abide in strength and vigour, the beating down of the present fruit will not hinder it from bearing more evil fruit.”

Matthew 3:10“Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.”

If you want to destroy a tree or a plant, you have to remove its roots. If not, it will continue to grow. Likewise, we have to find the root of our sin, which is bound up in our covetous desire to give credence to the desires of the flesh than to God.

[3] By the Spirit bringing the cross of Christ into the heart of a sinner by faith, and giving communion with Christ in his death, and fellowship in His sufferings.

Preventing the sin by placing bandaids over the issue and only treating the symptoms is not a cure. Like cancer, it must be specifically targeted and excised from the body. Merely giving a cancer patient pain medication and antibiotics is only helping with the symptoms, not the cause.

So also do we need to recognize the cause and our need for our Physician. We have been mortally wounded from our sin, a mark which we will bear until we are glorified. Yet the death blow of sin was deflected by our Great High Priest who bore the penalty we deserved and died in our stead.