John 13:31-35: Love One Another

Scripture Reading

1 John 4:7–11“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him… Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

Intro

What does it mean to truly love one another?

Its a core aspect of the Christian faith.

The Great Commandment is Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength…

And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.

What does that look like?

In a world of confusion and total affirmation that says love is affirming whatever makes me happy… What is a biblical definition for how we are to love one another?

In John 13:34 Jesus says A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you.

And that’s our Big Idea for today…

Love one another just as Christ has loved you.

But what does that look like?

What does it look like to love difficult people?

What does it look like to love your church?

Your spouse and your kids?

What does it look like to love other Christians in the household of faith and show the world a picture of the glory and love of Christ?

Let’s start with John 13:31-35 where it says…

John 13:31–35 When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once. Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going you cannot come.’ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

What we are reading here are Jesus’ parting words to His disciples.

He said John 13:33 Little children… a term of endearment and affection… dear children…

Yet a little while I am with you… Jesus was about to leave.

He was going die… rise again… and eventually ascend back the Father… to return to the glory He before the world existed (John 17:5).

But in the meantime, the disciples would be left.

He said…

You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going you cannot come.’”

Earlier in John 7, Jesus had told the Jews who had rejected Him You will seek me and you will not find me. Where I am you cannot come (John 7:34).

But to the disciples in just a few verses Jesus will say you will follow me afterwards.

They will follow Christ, but for the moment Jesus was going away…

For the moment… He was going to leave them for a time and where He was going, the disciples could not come (John 13:36).

They still had work to do.

And now that Judas had gone out to go betray Christ…

Christ was free to speak directly with His true Disciples… the New New Covenant Community of faith… and give them His final words and instructions… teachings… warnings… promises… and commandments for while He was away.

And as such, final words for us and all who await His glorious return.

These are the words of Christ for the Church while He is away.

How He wants us to live in the world and not of it.

And Jesus begins His final words with a commandment and a distinguishing mark of the Christian faith.

Love one another.

He even says By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Before going to the cross… before leaving the disciples… the first thing Jesus wanted His disciples to hear is love one another.

And it all starts with Jesus saying…

Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once.

Son of Man

With these words, Jesus looks forward to His future resurrection and exaltation at the Father’s right hand.

That’s what He means when He says If God is glorified in Him meaning in the death of Christ God would be glorified as the Just and Justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus (Romans 3:26).

God’s name would be known and exalted as Almighty Holy Eternal God and Gracious Lord and Savior.

The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty (Exodus 34:5-7).

And in glorifying the Father, the Father would in turn glorify Him.

A mutual glory-ing of one another… The Trinity! One God. Three Divine Persons.

If God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself meaning the eternal blessedness and exaltation of Christ at the Father’s right hand.

That God would bestow on Christ the Name that is above every other name.

Its the same idea of Philippians 2: He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:8-11).

That’s what Jesus is talking about here.

As the Author of Hebrews said It was for the joy set before him [that Christ] endured the cross, despising [its] shame, and is seated at the right hand… of God (Hebrews 12:2).

Here… just hours before His death Jesus is looking forward to His glory and exaltation… to His Kingdom!

To His universal reign and rule of salvation making all things new.

And He turns to His disciples and says, “While I’m gone, Here’s what I want my Kingdom to look like.”

Here’s what I want you do to.

As I’m reigning and ruling and my Kingdom goes forth… and I’m gone for a little while… I want you to love one another.

I want the life of my Kingdom… the Rule of my Kingdom… to be love one another just as I have loved you.

The life of the Kingdom… The life of salvation… is Love God and Love one another.

The first and great commandment is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37, 39).

All People

And then Jesus says By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus says, the world… all people… will know we are disciples by how we love one another.

Our love is crucial for our witness because our love is an expression of the very gospel we profess to believe.

We show the world a picture of Christ in how we love and care for one another.

Do we preach a gospel of gracious, merciful, kind and sacrificial love or… something else?

We can say we love God all we want but do we live it in how we love one another?

What good is it to preach a gospel to the world that says For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son but then spend all our time biting and devouring one another (John 3:16, Galatians 5:15)?

Hating one another?

Living out of our old sinful flesh… For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another (Titus 3:3).

Does that preach a gospel that says God has the power to save sinners?

That God is love and Christ laid down His life for us?

Our love and life together preaches something… what is it?

You see how important it is to intentionally make every effort to not just make sure we love God but that we love one another.

Its a testimony to the world… our life as well as our words… of God’s power to save and a picture of Christ’s very own love for us in the very gospel itself.

So what is it?

What does it mean to truly love one another just as I have loved you?

What Does it Mean to Love One Another?

Let’s work through Jesus’ commandment.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

The first and obvious question is what does Jesus mean by a new commandment?

Its not exactly new.

It was one of the two great commandments of the Law… its a summary of one whole half of the Law.

Leviticus 19:18 You shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

And Jesus Himself had said Love God and Love others… on these two commandments all the Law and the Prophets rest (Matthew 22:40).

New?

So what’s new?

There’s been several suggestions.

RC Sproul said that the newness of the new commandment might be found in the betrayal of Judas.

That what Jesus is calling us to here is a steadfast and enduring love for one another.

A love that holds fast when the going gets tough and remains true to its commitments (Sproul, John, St. Andrew’s Expositional Commentary, 252-253).

John Calvin said the newness was essentially Christ’s way of enforcing the old commandment with a new sense of life and vigor.

We are prone to forget and so when Christ says a new commandment I give you to He is saying above all else, remember this!

Keep it fresh in your mind and don’t forget.

Love one another and keep on loving one another (Calvin, Pringle, Commentary on the Gospel according to John, Vol. 2, 75-76).

Men like John Piper, John Macarthur, and DA Carson say that the newness is found in the way in which we are to love.

Not just as yourself but a heightened and greater expectation of as Christ loved us (Piper, Sermon: As I have Loved You, Love One Another, March 17, 2012)(MacArthur, John 12-21, 89)(Carson, The Gospel According to John, Pillar NT Commentary, 484-485).

John Gill, renowned Baptist Theologian, said its newness is that it is a new edition that is more clearly explained.

Its the fulfillment of the old commandment.

We have a greater picture of what it means to love our neighbor as ourself in the love of Christ (Gill, An Exposition of the New Testament, Vol. 2. Baptist Commentary Series, 54).

And for my part I think that a combination of the last two is probably correct.

The Newness of the New Commandment is that it is a fulfillment of the Old.

Its the type/shadow idea.

Just as Christ gives us a clearer and fuller picture of the Passover or the Priesthood, in the fulfillment of Christ we see a clearer and truer picture of what it truly means to love your neighbor as yourself.

As Christ has loved you… humbly, joyfully, sacrificially is the true meaning and clear and bright picture of what it means to love one another.

He is the true fulfillment of what it means to love your neighbor as yourself.

He said John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

And that’s the love Christ calls us to.

Something simple enough for a young child to memorize but profound enough that it takes a lifetime to master.

As I Have Loved You

We saw a picture of this love in Christ washing the disciples’ feet.

He says just as meaning in the same way.

And if you go back up to verse 1, John said Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end (John 13:1).

To the the uttermost.

When we looked at that verse we said that the sense of that word is to perfection or completeness.

To the fullest… the fullest measure one can possibly have without any lack.

That’s the love Christ has for us.

And it was an infinite love… one that surpasses all knowledge and goes beyond understanding (Ephesians 3:19).

We can’t even conceive of it.

It was a forever love… a steadfast love… one that endures.

And an unfailing love… one that loves despite all our sins and failures… all our weaknesses and temptations.

Christ loved them knowing that every single one of them was about to abandon Him.

To run away and leave Him on His own… but didn’t keep Christ from loving them… and loving them to the very end… even in His death on a cross.

And that’s the greatest picture we have of Christ’s love for us.

Feet

When Jesus washed the disciples feet’ He was giving them a picture of the cross...

How He would lay down His life to cleanse them of all sin.

And He did it by taking the form of a servant… the lowest of the lowest slave.

He wrapped a towel around Himself and began to wash the disciples feet (John 13:4-5).

The picture that Christ gives is a love that humbles ourselves… counts ourself a slave and counts others more significant than ourselves.

Of laying down our life… of dying to ourselves to sacrificially serve and love one another.

So when we think of love one another as I have loved you we need to have in our minds a great and enduring love that counts ourself a slave and others more significant than ourselves.

That’s what it means to have the mind and love of Christ.

Love According to the World

But we need to go further.

What does it mean to actually love one another?

There is a lot of confusion in our world of what love actually is.

We live in a culture that basically defines love as total affirmation.

Complete acceptance and support.

They even have a mantra… Love is Love.

The only way to truly love another person is to affirm and support whatever they want.

Whatever someone says makes them happy.

We’ve replaced love with being nice to everyone and making everyone feel good.

And in an age of guilt manipulators these kind of people will point to Christ and say well you’re not very loving…

You don’t love like He did.

You’re judgmental… your a bigot… that’s not the love of Christ.

If ever you go against someone or don’t cater to exactly what they want the cultural zeitgeist… the cultural way of thought… is that you must not be very loving.

This way of thinking as even infiltrated the Christian church.

You can’t call out sin.

You can’t stand for the truth… at least not like that… that’s not very loving.

So we need to be very careful in how we define love because its not Hippie Jesus going around making everybody feel good.

Genuine Biblical love seeks the good and welfare of one another.

Paul says, Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law (Romans 13:10).

What does love look like?

Honor your Father and Mother.

Do not murder… do not hate your brother in your heart.

Do not commit adultery.

Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not Covet.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Love one another as I have loved you in a spirit that counts ourselves a slave and others more significant than ourselves.

Biblical love is seeking the welfare of one another as defined by God’s Word…

Its doing no harm…

Doing no wrong…

Doing all that we can to not sin against one another.

And then loving one another as Christ has loved us is not just not sinning against one another, but actually working towards their positive good… serving and blessing them as a picture of God’s love for us in Christ.

So what is love?

Apart from not sinning against one another, what should we be striving for with one another?

Paul gives us a straightforward clear definition in 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Now usually we hear these verses at weddings and it is fitting because without this kind of love no marriage can ever last… so as we talk about loving one another one of the primary places you need to apply this first is in your relationship with your spouse as well as your children and our church.

But Paul did not write this for a wedding.

He wrote it for a church that was wracked with factions and divisions saying don’t forget Christ’s commandment love one another as I have loved you!

This is the kind of love that is to characterize our life together as a church.

Verbs

Now here’s what’s interesting… All 15 characteristics Paul gives of love are all verbs.

They are not adjectives that describe what love is but verbs that describe what love does.

Love is active.

It does not just feel patient… it practices it.

It does not merely have kind feelings… it does kind things.

Love is not a feeling… its doing.

Its something actually lived out in our life together.

Patient

And the first thing Paul says is Love is patient.

Its a word that describes longsuffering or forbearance.

So its a love that does not wear out on a short fuse willing to love someone long as someone is lovable.

When wronged it does not give up or lash out.

This is the same kind of Love God Himself has towards us (2 Peter 3:9).

When we sin God doesn’t immediately strike us down, He patiently endures, and so we should be patient and long suffering with one another.

Kind

Love is kind.

If patience suffers with others kindness seeks good for them.

It is active goodwill generally desiring the other’s welfare.

God’s kindness towards us is giving His only Son to die for us even while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:6-10).

You can think of it as loving-kindness… earnestly desiring to help and serve one another… please one another.

To be kind is to be welcoming and to make one another’s day.

Envy

After giving two positive qualities of love, Paul lists 8 vices that are completely incompatible with it.

The first is love does not envy.

This is the idea of jealously or covetousness.

We want what other people have and we can never be happy for them.

That is self-love.

So true love doesn’t just do good to one another… kindness… it also desires their good and blessing.

James says James 3:14–16 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

The reason why is because when we are jealous of one another we will war against one another thinking the other person is in the way of getting what we want instead of being for one another and one another’s good.

Boast

It does not Boast.

This is the other side of jealousy.

Trying to make others Jealous of what we have.

Its putting others down and building ourselves up.

The very opposite of what love is meant to do.

Love builds up (1 Corinthians 8:1).

Arrogant

Closely related to this, Love is not arrogant.

This is pride.

It is impossible to love when we put ourselves above everyone else.

That is not the way of Christ who who emptied Himself… lowered Himself… nullified Himself taking the form of a servant leading Paul to say in the verse we’ve been looking at, Philippians 2:3, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Rude

It is not rude.

Lacking no care or concern for others.

Harsh words and harsh tones.

These are sharp words or snapping at one another.

Giving one another cold shoulder or silent treatment instead of the holy kiss… the warm hug… of brotherly affection (2 Corinthians 13:12).

This is treating each other kindly and respectfully especially in the heat of disagreement.

Its being considerate following the golden rule As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them (Luke 6:31).

Own Way

It does not insist on its own way.

Love is not self-serving but serves the good of one another.

In other words, its not selfish.

Jesus is the perfect model of this: For Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).

A good way to look at it… especially in marriage… is to say I am on your team.

I’m not looking out for me… I’m for us.

Irritable

It is not irritable.

The Greek word here is provoked or aroused to anger.

The idea is love is not easily angered.

Are you constantly growing angry? That’s not the heart of love.

As James says James 1:19–20 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 4:31–32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

This is so key.

Loving one another looks like controlling the passions of our anger.

We do not lash out in anger nor do we escalate a conflict by giving into angry responses (Proverbs 15:1).

Love turns the temperature down in the room when the heat turns up.

That the moment we feel the embers of anger begin to stir up in our heart, we smother it and extinguish the flames.

Anger is such a dangerous sin because it opens the door for all kinds of other sin we can justify in our minds.

We will use our anger to justify and give in to bitterness, division, backbiting, slander and a whole host of other sins because… in our anger… they deserve it!

And in our anger we give an opportunity to the devil to wreak havock in our lives and relationships (Ephesians 4:26-27.

So do you give into anger?

Are you constantly losing your temper or giving full vent to your spirit? (Proverbs 29:11).

Letting your anger just rush out of you?

Love is not easily provoked or given into anger.

In biblical terms its the picture putting off the old clothes of the old sinful flesh and putting on the new clothes, the new garments of Christ love, joy, peace, patience, goodness gentleness, faithfulness and self control (Col 3:5-17; Galatians 5:22-23).

Application

So if you feel anger rising up stop right then and there and pray… smother the flames.

Say God give me the fruit of the Spirit… help me in this moment to love and to put on Christ.

And then you stay there.

You don’t move or say a word until you have control over your emotions… the fruit of the Spirit is self-control… and true Christian love for the other.

You bring the temperature down… don’t raise it up.

Love is not easily provoked or easily angered.

Resentful

Love is not resentful.

This is an accounting term meaning love does not count up wrongdoing.

It doesn’t hold grudges or keep a number of wrongs.

Of course this is what the Lord does with us not counting our trespasses or sins against us but forgiving them in Christ (2 Cor 5:19).

And so what Paul is saying here is that love… forgives.

This is one of the quintessential ways Christians are to love each other.

When we sin we should be quick to repent and just as quick to forgive.

Forgiven people forgive… and we don’t hold onto bitterness or a grudge.

Related to this… love doesn’t seek revenge.

Its not resentful… it doesn’t keep a record of wrongs to paid back later.

In fact, love forgives 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:21-35).

As many times as it takes!

Love forgives and keeps on forgiving.

Forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

The reason some of you might poison relationships and every little thing turns into a giant fight is because you are unwilling to forgive.

You keep a number of wrongs, and the moment you see one, “You always do this!”

It doesn’t mean we don’t deal with continual habitual sin, but we do so in a spirit of gentleness eager to forgive (Galatians 6:1-2).

Wrongdoing/Truth

Love does not rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth.

These are two sides of the same coin.

And you can really take it from two different ways

Not Sinning

From our side/an inner perspective, love does not rejoice, is not happy in sinning against our neighbor but rejoices in the truth.

That means we don’t excuse our sin against our neighbor, and when we do sin we are quick to repent because we don’t rejoice in wrongdoing.

We weep over it.

Not Affirming

And from the outside, from an external perspective love doesn’t affirm or celebrate sin.

This is why its not loving just to affirm someone in whatever they want as the world understands it today.

True love rejoices in the truth.

Isaiah said Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness (Isaiah 5:20).

Love does not look like unconditional affirmation.

Of just going along and compromising the truth just so we don’t make any waves or hurt someones feelings.

True love rejoices with the truth.

It defines love and good according to the Truth… that truth of course being God’s Word.

So another way to say this is that loves does not rejoice in unrighteousness whether that is our own unrighteousness in sinning against one another or in another’s in sinning against the truth.

Bears

And finally Paul says, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Bears is the idea of carry.

Burdens

And so we carry one another’s burdens.

Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Offenses

And we bear with one another.

Pauls says bear with one another in love (Col 3:13; Ephesians 4:2)).

That means we carry offenses.

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

We bear with one another and forgive one another.

Believes

Love believes all things.

He’s not talking about false teaching.

He is saying love is not suspicious or cynical.

Love is built on a relationship of mutual trust.

We are not constantly questioning one another’s actions or motives, but believing the best.

Hopes

That’s where Paul says Loves hopes all things.

We don’t assume the worst about another person.

Love assumes no wrong.

We operate on good faith.

A good mantra is assume the best.

Love hopes all things and looks at one another in the most charitable light.

Likewise Love does not grow hopeless.

We don’t look at the other person or a situation and say you’ll never change.

Our marriage will never get fixed.

Our son will never turn to the Lord.

That person will never get out of pornography or alcohol or that sin.

No love hopes.

And does not give up on the other.

How devastating is it when it feels like everyone’s given up on you.

Endures

And finally, love endures all things.

This is a military term that means hold the line no matter the cost.

Love perseveres and it perseveres at all cost.

Love keeps going even when its hard.

That puts the weight on it.

If its up to us… we are going to work through this.

That’s the mentality we all have to have.

It doesn’t matter how hard things get, love determines to make it through.

Conclusion

That’s the kind of love Christ calls us to have one another.

Humble, sacrificial love.

Love one another just as I have loved you.

The very kind of love we are called to have in all the one another commands given to the church.

Membership

What that means for some of you is that you need to join the church.

How can you obey the one another commands and love one another as Christ called us to if you are not a part of a church saying to all the other members of body and shepherds Christ has given to His church… I have no need of you (1 Corinthians 12:21).

The one another commands are given to local bodies of believers all following Jesus together.

You need to be a part of a church.

For Us

But for the rest of us… those that are members of this church do the one another commands describe our life together?

Do these one another commands look like our church?

And I’ll just tell you… as a pastor… in regards to how we love one another I feel like the Apostle Paul who wrote to the Thessalonians concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write anything to you (1 Thessalonians 4:9).

So as we look at these we should celebrate God’s grace in our church and renew our commitment to love one another and set our sites for more.

Commands like…

Welcome one another (Romans 15:7).

Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16).

Serve one another (Galatians 3:13).

Speak the truth to one another (Ephesians 4:25).

Let us pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding (Romans 14:19).

Let us not pass judgment on another or put a stumbling block in the way of a brother (Romans 14:13).

Encourage one another and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Be eager [do all that you can!] to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).

Bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2).

Forgive one another (Colossians 3:13).

Do not repay evil for evil, but overcome evil with good (1 Thessalonians 5:15, Romans 12:21).

Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10).

Stir up one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24).

Do not grumble against another (James 5:9, James 4:11).

Show hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9).

Clothe yourselves, all of you with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5).

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (Phil 2:3).

And Above all, keep loving one another earnestly… from a pure heart (1 Peter 4:8, 1 Peter 1:22).

Or as Jesus said… Love one another: just as I have loved you.

Without love we are nothing.

Paul says we are like a noisy gong or clanging symbol.

We could have all knowledge… understand all mysteries… have such a faith so as to move mountains but if we have not love we have nothing.

If we have not, love we gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

Love should be the thing above all else we should be striving for in our Christians life… without it we have nothing… are nothing… and gain nothing.

Our love is a picture of the gospel.

A reflection of God’s own love for us in Christ!

Of His laying down His life for us on the cross.

And we look at Christ’s love, and we share that love with other people.

Just as Jesus laid down His life for us, we are should see that and lay down our lives for one another.

Die a life of little death dying to ourselves everyday for the good of one another and so put on Christ.

So the application for us today is very simple:

Love one another with the very same love Christ has for you.

And as Paul says at the end of 1 Corinthians Let all that you do be done in love (1 Corinthians 16:14).

Let’s Pray