When Conflict Leads to Growth

Someone gave the great analogy of the Carpenter’s tools that held a conference with Brother Hammer presiding over the conference.

During the conference several suggested that he leave the meeting because he was way too loud.

￫Bro. Hammer replied, “If I have to leave the shop, Brother Screw must go also. You have to turn him around and around again and again to get him to accomplish anything.”

￫Bro. Screw spoke up, “If you wish, I’ll leave, but Bro. Plane must leave too. All his work is on the surface and his efforts have no depth at all.”

￫Bro. Plane retorted, “Bro. Rule will also have to withdraw, for he is always measuring folks as though he were the only one who is right.”

￫Then Bro. Rule complained about Bro. Sandpaper. He said, “You ought to leave too because you are so rough and always rubbing people the wrong way.”

Then in the midst of the conference the Carpenter from Nazareth walked in and started to work.

He put His apron on and went to the work bench to construct a piece of furniture.

He used the hammer, screw, plane, rule, sandpaper, and all the other tools.

After the day’s work when the table was finished, Bro. Saw rose and remarked, “Brethren, I observe that all of us are workers together with the Lord.”

It’s always awesome to see the church of God work together for the glory of God! But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes there are:

disputes that arise,

divisions that occur,

separations that happen,

and departures that take place.

Even among the most sincere and faithful servants of God there are times that troubles arise.

Sometimes followers of Jesus can’t agree on how to move forward and accomplish the mission God gave us.

Even Paul and Barnabas couldn’t agree.

The Jerusalem conference had settled the issue of salvation. Circumcision and adherence to the Law of Moses was not and is not required for salvation.

But that didn’t stop personal conflict.

What do we do when we disagree as followers of Jesus? How do we seek to resolve conflict? Do we continue to serve in spite of set backs?

Today, we’re going to look at a really interesting story from the book of Acts. In this morning’s verses we see two great leaders of the early church, Paul and Barnabas, have a big disagreement. These guys had been working together, spreading the message of Jesus and starting new churches. But now, they’re arguing about whether to take a young man named John Mark with them on their next trip.

This disagreement is so sharp that they decide to part ways. It might seem like a bad thing, but God uses their separation to do something amazing. Instead of one team, now there are two teams spreading the Gospel.

As we unpack this passage, we’ll see how disagreements, even among good people, can be part of God’s bigger plan. We’ll learn how to handle conflicts in our own lives and see how God can ultimately use them for good.

Let’s read the text together and find out how this story can teach us to trust God, even when we disagree with others.

Let’s read about what happened. Acts 15:36-41.

What we’re going to see this morning is that, God can turn our disagreements and separations into opportunities for greater ministry.

What do we see first?

Acknowledge the Reality of Conflict (36-38)

Luke sets off this section with the words “after some days.”

He uses this construction often to note a transition to a new section in his writing.

We see Paul didn’t intend to start a new evangelistic missionary journey, but that’s exactly what God will do with this proposed trip.

Paul and Barnabas agreed on the importance of the trip, but they couldn’t agree on the composition of the “team.”

Here were two dedicated men who had just helped bring unity to the church, and yet they could not settle their own disagreements! Unfortunately, we’ve seen this often in church history; and yet God is able to overrule them and accomplish His purposes.

As we look at the nature of the disagreement, it’s no surprise that Barnabas would champion John Mark as their traveling companion.

After all, he and Mark were related (Col. 4:10). The Greek word Paul used in Col. 4:10 to refer to Barnabas and Mark’s relationship is anepsios, which means “cousin.”

And we know that family ties are strong. But even more than that, Barnabas was the kind of man who eagerly tried to help others, which is why the early church named him “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36). He was ready to give John Mark another opportunity to serve the Lord and to prove himself. Barnabas “kept on insisting” (wuest) that they take Mark along.

But Paul was just as adamant that they not take Mark! After all, on the first missionary journey, John Mark had deserted them to return home (Acts 13:13); and to Paul, this was a mark of weakness. The ministry was too important, and the work too demanding, to enlist someone who might prove unreliable.

Here we have a classic confrontation: the choice between disqualifying a person who has quit or made some kind of blunder, or looking to restore that person to a ministry role.

Paul wasn’t ready to let him back in. Barnabas knew he was ready to get back to work.

Hence, the contention.

But we should never ignore conflict.

Paul and Barnabas were strong leaders and close friends who worked together spreading the gospel. But, even they faced a serious disagreement.

Barnabas wanted to give John Mark another chance, but Paul was firm in his belief that John Mark’s previous actions disqualified him from rejoining their mission.

Conflict is inevitable, even among the most committed followers of Jesus. It’s not a sign of failure but a part of life.

Avoiding, ignoring, or running away from conflict doesn’t resolve it. In fact, it often makes things worse, leading to bitterness and division.

Think about your own life. Maybe you’ve had a falling out with a friend or a disagreement with a family member. Ignoring these conflicts doesn’t make them disappear.

In your workplace, you might have had conflicts with colleagues. Pretending everything is fine can lead to stress and poor teamwork.

The Bible is clear that conflicts will happen. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus teaches us to address conflicts directly: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.”

Even if it’s just a disagreement, I think the same principle applies.

Addressing conflict directly and respectfully is a way to find resolution and peace.

So how do we apply this?

Identify a conflict you’ve been avoiding. How can you address it constructively?

Reflect on how Paul and Barnabas didn’t let their disagreement derail their overall mission. How can you keep focus on our greater mission even when conflicts come up?

Acknowledge that conflict is a natural part of relationships and work and church life. It’s not the presence or absence of conflict but how we handle it that makes the difference.

Let’s commit to addressing conflicts head-on, with a spirit of understanding and grace, just as Paul and Barnabas did.

Let’s go to verse 39.

Luke is pretty honest here. He doesn’t gloss over the quarrel between Paul and Barnabas.

Paul and Barnabas had a “sharp disagreement.” This wasn’t a minor argument; it was a major blowup that led them to part ways.

What Luke doesn’t do is deal with who was right and who was wrong.

Who was right? It really doesn’t make much difference. Maybe both men were right on some things and wrong on other things.

We know that John Mark ultimately did succeed in the ministry and that Paul came to love and appreciate him (see Col. 4:10; 2 Tim. 4:11; Phile. 23–24).

Good and godly people in the church do disagree; this is one of the painful facts of life that we have to accept.

In order for us to deal with conflict effectively, we must…

Seek to Understand Different Perspectives (39)

Paul looked at people and asked, “What can they do for God’s work?” while Barnabas looked at people and asked, “What can God’s work do for them?” Both questions are important to the Lord’s work, and sometimes it is difficult to keep things balanced.

Barnabas saw potential in John Mark and wanted to give him another chance. He believed in grace and redemption.

Paul, on the other hand, focused on the mission’s practical needs. He was concerned about reliability and commitment.

Both Paul and Barnabas had valid points. Their disagreement wasn’t about right or wrong but about different perspectives and priorities.

Understanding where someone else is coming from can change how we handle conflicts. It allows us to see the situation more completely.

Think about conflicts you’ve had. Often, we’re quick to defend our own perspective without considering the other person’s viewpoint. I know I’m guilty of that.

The Bible deals with this in a couple of verses:

James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Listening helps us understand the other person’s viewpoint.

Proverbs 18:2 says, “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” True wisdom comes from seeking to understand the other person.

And very often we want the same thing. We just approach it from a different perspective.

Application:

Next time you’re in a disagreement, take a moment to really listen to the other person’s perspective. Ask questions to clarify their viewpoint.

Practice empathy. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see the situation from their angle. Listen for understanding, not simply to win an argument.

Understanding different perspectives doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean you value the other person enough to consider their viewpoint.

In our conflicts, let’s strive to listen more, understand better, and respond with empathy, just as Paul and Barnabas could have done to maintain their partnership.

Conflict is never fun. Sometimes people will part ways. Sometimes people will leave. But we have to understand nothing takes God by surprise, and He will accomplish His will.

We need to…

Recognize God’s Sovereignty in Our Conflicts (40-41)

Even when we face conflicts and disagreements, God is still in control and can use these situations for His greater purpose.

Look at what happened. Two missionary journeys resulted instead of just one.

Paul selected a new partner, Silas, the delegate from the Jerusalem church.

This is the genesis of the “Paul and Silas” passages we’ll see later.

He was coauthor with Paul of the Thessalonian letters, and he was the secretary for Peter’s first letter (1 Peter 5:12).

And Barnabas takes John Mark and sails to Cyprus.

God changes His workmen, but His work goes right on. Now there were two missionary teams instead of one! If God had to depend on perfect people to accomplish His work, He would never ever get anything done.

When conflicts arise, it’s easy to get caught up in the immediate problem and lose sight of the bigger picture.

Focusing on the greater good helps us move beyond the conflict and see how God can use the situation for a positive outcome.

Look for ways that resolving the conflict can lead to growth, new opportunities, or stronger relationships.

Conflicts are not the end but can be the beginning of something greater. By focusing on the bigger picture, we can find ways that God might be using the conflict for good.

Christians will disagree, and even separate at times, but ultimately God works everything out for his own purposes.

Here are some questions I want you to think about this week:

What conflicts are you currently facing that you need to acknowledge and address?

How can you better understand the perspective of someone you disagree with?

In what ways can you show grace in your response to conflict?

How might God be using your current conflicts to bring about a greater good?

Let’s commit to seeking the greater good in our conflicts, trusting that God can turn our disagreements into opportunities for growth and blessings, just as He did with Paul and Barnabas.