The Abigail Way

I want to welcome you to the third week of the Story of David where for all the triumphs and tragedies of David's life, he was, when you look at his whole life exactly what the bible says, a man after God's own heart. Because as we have been saying throughout this series, “God wants your heart” He wants your heart to run after his and in doing so it becomes more like his. So today I want us to open up our bibles to 1 Samuel 25 with a Sermon entitled, “The Abigail Way”  in David's life that can be easily overlooked…but first I must ask you a question…do you know the golden rule?

The Golden Rule, are you familiar with the Golden Rule, of course you are, it is after all one of the most quoted parts of the bible right next to do not judge. But this is what the Golden rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto'' We all know that, you grew up with it, and the golden rule is great until you are mistreated by others, once we are mistreated by others we make a change to the golden rule and we wish it would say Retribution Rule “Do unto others as others have done unto you” And in the moment when you've been mistreated, or someone you love has been mistreated, it actually feels right to treat them in right kind, right? You want to get even. That you mistreat others as they have mistreated you, or you do to others what they have done to you. Then take it a step further, there is this complicated thing that is impossible to see in a mirror, that is when you have been mistreated by someone you can’t mistreat back, or you can't get even with so you mistreat someone else who cant mistreat you back. I call it Trickle-Down Mistreatment.

The truth is when we feel powerless in one relationship or environment we take it out in another. I’ll take it out on you because I can't take it out on the person I wish I could take it out on. So then we have this weird dynamic, Lead Rule, why lead, it is the opposite of Gold. when we “Do unto others as someone else has done unto you.” There is a problem with this whole approach to life there is a problem with getting even. The problem with getting even, is that it makes you even with someone you don't even like. And that brings us to today's story in the life of David when he is a fugitive. He is traveling with his small army of men in the in the 15 years in between how anointment and him becoming king, David is living off the land, protecting people's stock and shepherds from being stolen, killed or harmed, he is trying to stay away from the philistines but at the same time running from King Saul who has tried to kill him not once, not twice, but three different times….who also happens to be his father in law. And this is where our story begins.

2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite.4 While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours!7 “‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 1 Samuel 25:2-7 At first glance it could look like david is trying to coerce Nabal into paying him for a service Nabal didn't ask for. That isn't the case, it was customary for mercenaries to protect flocks and sheep and in return for their services they would get payment, which means Nabal knew his flock was being protected.  So what David was saying through the messengers is that if you had a profit this year, the reason why you have one is because throughout the year was because we didn't steal anything from you, and not only did we not steal from you we protected your shepherds and sheep. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’” 1 Samuel 25:8. In other words, since we were good to you, would you be good to us? Since we were kind to you, would you be kind to us? During this whole time David would say that his men could have taken anything they wanted any time they wanted and you Nabal couldn't do anything about it. 9 When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited.10 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” 1 Samuel 25:9-11

In other words, I don't know who you are, and who do you think you are? He insults David by saying he is nothing but a servant broken away from a master's house! Tell this servant you serve, this David guy I didn't ask for his help, I didn't ask for his protection, and I don't owe him and I don't owe you anything. 2 David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. at which point the sound track would change 13 David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies. 14 One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them.15 Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. 16 Night and day they was a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. 17 Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” 18 I imagine Abigail saying, HE SAID WHAT, TO WHO?! Are you kidding me, like in the John Wick when Viggo finds out his son killed John Wicks dog..he did WHAT!. So, Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. 20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, “It’s been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David,[c] be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”

Now this next part is so rich, I want to walk through it slowly because  if you are reading this story you can speed read right past this and miss it so 23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. - 1 Samuel 25:23. This is very strange, she is the wife of a wealthy man and this catches David off guard, and what she begins to do is she begins to treat David as if he is already the man she hopes he will be.

She look past what hes about to do and she speaks to his future and it is so powerful watch 1 Samuel 25:24-29 24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. Now ladies take note because this works on us to this day, even when we know you are doing it. It's like, “I bet you are so strong you can take that trash bag to the trash can with one arm tied behind your back” I know what you are doing, but yeah I can do what you wanna watch?’ This works on toddlers and kids under 5 also so we don't really ever grow out of this. Abigail is so smart, she isn't being manipulative she knows what hangs in the balance and she begins to speak to David's potential .

(And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. ) This is like a jedi mind trick right here watch this…she is saying your not going to do what you have planned to do, these are not the droids you are looking for, your not going to do what you have planned to do, since the lord has already stopped you from doing this horrible thing. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.. V 27  then she gives him credit for being a better man than he actually is “Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord v.28a and she speaks to his future, David, God has something great for you, God has something planned for you, why? , because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. V.28b You are not a wrongdoer, you are a good man.

29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, V29 - she knows Saul is trying to find and kill David, everyone knows it, she uses this imagery. This bundle and bound is the imagery of someone who is using a wallet or a purse, you would wrap cords around it to make it secure  and tuck it into your bag. So Abigail uses this imagery saying that David your life is so secure that you are protected in God's wallet and that God is saving you to use you on something very specific. But but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. v.29b she takes David back to when he was 15 years old facing Goliath, at this point everyone would have known this story. Now the nostalgia is back where he had to trust God to be the one who guided him and protected him and he didn't have to take matters into his own hands as he is trying to do right now, and then Abigail after taking him to the past speaks to his future.

And maybe this next section of the text this story is the reason why you are here and it is exactly what God wants you to hear. In this next section, she essentially asks David “What story do you want to tell when there is nothing but a story to tell?” David when you are looking back at this incident 6 months from now, 1 year from now, 1 decade from now “What story do you want to tell when there is nothing but a story to tell?” Here is what she says “30 When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.” 1 Samuel 25:30 in other words when you are the king, as everyone knows you will be one day. One day this is nothing but a story that you will tell your people and what you do in this moment will be a permanent part in that story. And I am believing that you will change your mind and I am betting that you will change your mind because you don't want to tell a story of needless bloodshed do you?

Suddenly Daivd beings to cool down, and he sees things in a new way and david said to abigail 32 David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.” 1 Samuel 25:32-35 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” 35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.'' Because of your actions today I am not going to destroy your husband and I will not destroy your household. Now Abigail is so smart, watch what she does 36 When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak. 37 Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone…. 38 About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died.1 Samuel 25:36-38 Pause dramatically after verse 38 & read verse 39…39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the Lord, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrongdoing down on his own head.”Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. 40 His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, “David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife.”” 42 Abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female servants, went with David’s messengers and became his wife.They lived happily ever after the end.

So in summary this is what we have, we have three characters, three responses and only one hero. Nabal (maniacal), what did he do, he Returned Evil for Good. David (predictable) He was about to Return Evil for Evil. Which makes sense especially in that culture. But Abigail (Remarkable)  sees all of this in a completely different way and she returns Good for Evil. Now Nebal, nobody wants to be like him, David is predictable he would do what we do when we feel disrespected. But Abigail, she is remarkable and her approach is remarkable. The whole story she is the hero. Abigail was ahead of her time especially because she was in the old covenant where returning evil for evil was ok. It was eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Davids response you think it is barbaric but none of his men tried to calm him down, it was simply lets get our swords and return the honor that is due to david. Abigail is ahead of her time because in the new testament, the new covenant came around.

Peter who saw Jesus unjustly arrested and crucified, saw an innocent man condemned to death, and he saw all of that, Peter wrote these words to Christians in the first century who were being unjustly treated. He doesnt go all David on us, rather he points us to a new way, the Abigail way, or more importantly, the Jesus way.. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:9-11

In other words, whenever you are mistreated, don't go negative and evil, go positive and return it with blessing. As christians you are called to this, they crucified our leader, what do you expect they would do to you? Peter was writing this to Christians 1,000 years after this incident with Abigail and David, and where did Peter get this crazy idea? He Got it from Jesus and watched Jesus and he was there when Jesus preached a message that flipped the world upside down in 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:43-44 Where did you hear the first part, hate your enemy? That was the old covenant, that was the world David lived in. Instead, as Chrsitians, we have a heart that is running after our saviors, and Jesus heart was to return Good for Evil. Rember on the cross he told his father to forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing…

So in closing, I have three questions, two are for everybody, the last question is specifically for Christians. Question 1: Do I really want to be even with someone I don't even like? No you don't, to get even with someone you don't like is to be like someone you don't like and you wont like yourself for being like them. Why? Because Even is Easy. Wouldn't it be better instead of being even to be ahead, how do you get ahead? By refusing to get even.

Question 2: What story do you want to tell?  This is a question we should all ask no matter if you are a christian or not a christian yet, we should all ask this question why? Because every day and moment in your life will be a story you tell of your life. As you think about how you have been mistreated, something done to you, do you really want your story to be told with “and I got even?” I became just like the people I didn't even like? That is predictable but that isn't remarkable.

Now everyone can play a part in this next question but if you are a Jesus follower this is Jesus 101, you have to answer this question. This is part of the deal. Question 3: What would it look like for me to return good for evil? Lets make this personal when you think about someone who has mistreated you, When you think about him, or you think about her, and ex, ex-employee, your in-laws, friends who left or backstabbed you, people who have hurt you in the past or are currently hurting you now. What would it look like in that specific incident and relationship to return good for evil? Most people do nothing, but that isn't doing good, instead, what would it look like for you to be proactive and go bless someone who has hurt you, bless someone who has mistreated you, that would look like the golden rule. That would look like Jesus.

As a Chrsitian listen, everything inside of you could be disagreeing with me right now and I get that because of the “you don't understand what they have said, you don't know what they have done, if you were me you would get it” I get all of that, I experience all of that and I have wrestled with all of that but to return evil with evil is easy, to return evil with good is doing exactly what God did through Jesus. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sin, he didn't give us what we deserve, he did not repay evil for evil. But he gave us a way to be healed and made right before himself, and if you are a Chrsitian, that is your story.

In this story of David that is often overlooked, can be easily read fast and moved on from. It is a story that Daivd isn't even the hero of because honestly David was a person like you and I and we are not always the hero of our story but someone else teaches us a lesson and here it was Abigail returning good for evil. Listen, we see a small glimpse, a slight foreshadowing of the Gospel 1,000 years before Jesus even walked the earth God through Abigail and Daivd was telling us what he was going to do. To Return Evil with Evil that's predictable. Instead return Good for evil, because when it comes to your heart, A heart after God’s heart returns good for evil.. And do you know what happens to a person who has a heart who returns good for evil? You, like Abigail, might be married to a king one day….

Pray.