Learning to Lament: Ask Boldly
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How do we deal biblically with our pain and our grief? We asked this question several weeks ago as we began this short series on the biblical idea of lament.
Is there a way to rightly give voice to your pain?
Is there a path that gives you permission to wrestle with sorrow instead of rushing to its end? Yes, the Bible gives it a name, it is called a lament.
Four Key Elements of Biblical Lament
Turn
Complain
Ask
Trust
How do we turn from godly complaint to asking boldly? How do we do that when we are still in the midst of pain and grief? I promise you when you are in the midst of pain you will not feel like asking boldly. So how do we do it anyways?
I. Choose to put your confidence in truth (vv. 1-10)
I. Choose to put your confidence in truth (vv. 1-10)
The beginning of Psalm 22 combines the first two steps of lament into one: turning to God in prayer and godly complaint.
A. Complaint: Abandonment (1-2)
A. Complaint: Abandonment (1-2)
Notice the form that the godly complaint takes in v.1- it is a “why” question.
Psalm 22:1 (ESV)
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
There is painful irony here in this why question. What is the irony of v. 1?
God is seems like you have forsaken me! It seems like you are far away from saving me, even when I am crying out in great distress. And here is the irony: God, you are not a God who abandons His people. “My God” should not be abandoning me! And yet it very much feels that way.
Aside:
Now for those of you who have read the gospels these words are very very familiar.
46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
As we study through Psalm 22 you will be unable to read this text without remembering how Jesus appropriated it to his own sufferings on the cross.
So, it is important that we read this passage on both levels:
The first level is that this psalm was historically true of King David. David in Psalm 22, is describing his own experience of suffering from his enemies who were making every effort to put him to death. In other words, we must seek what this psalm meant when David wrote these words to his original audience.
But then, we must also marvel at the intended Divine correspondence between David and Jesus.
Many scholars categorize this psalm as Typologically Messianic.
A Typologically Messianic psalm is where the OT king’s language and experiences foreshadow Christ’s experiences.
A type is a God intended person, institution, or event in the OT that represents a pattern that happens later in God’s plan.
A historical event in the OT that has a spiritual significance for a historical event in the New Testament, often with a heightening or escalation in the NT fulfillment.
So David really did speak these words,
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
David really did suffer, he really did feel overwhelmed by his enemies. But, Jesus later appropriated these words for his suffering and death on the cross.
Let’s move on to the rest of David’s complaint-
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
How does this verse intensify David’s pain? How often is David crying out to God in his pain?
I cry by day- but you do not answer, there is only silence.
And I cry by night, and still nothing!
David was crying out to the Lord in prayer day and night, in other words, continually, but the Lord did not answer his constant pleas.
Let me say this again, biblical lament is not an immediate band-aid solution to all your problems. It really is a process of working through pain and grief.
You might feel like David in vv. 1-2 for a long time. But, notice what David continued to do. Day and night he did not cease from continually going to God in prayer. He constantly took his pain and grief to God in prayer. How long did David continue to pray? As long as was necessary. He did not stop.
Friend, if you are in pain and grief? Let me encourage you again to keep on turning to God in prayer, keep on crying by day and by night. Keep on bringing you godly complaints to the Lord.
But, don’t stop there! While the Scripture encourages us to bring our honest complaints to the Lord, it never gives us permission to wallow in them.
B. Confidence: Holiness (3-5)
B. Confidence: Holiness (3-5)
Notice the turning point of this prayer in v. 3!
3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
What is the key word in this verse? There are many important words: holy, enthroned, praises…
But, I would argue that the most important word in this verse is the very first word, “YET.”
Why is the word “YET” so very important?
This is the word that turns the psalmist from pain to confidence in God.
This is the word that turns the questions from “WHY?” to “WHO?”
WHY have you forsaken me? WHY are you so far from saving me?
God I know you are not a God who forsakes who stands far away, but it sure feels like it....
YET, even though I FEEL this way in my pain and grief, YET, I will choose to put my confidence in WHO you are.
This is such an important step in dealing with pain, moving from WHY God are you doing this, to WHO are you really God?
Look how David uses the word YET, to move from WHY to WHO!
Psalm 22:3 (ESV)
3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
God it feels like you have forsaken me, that you are far away from me.
Yet, I know the truth! I know that you are HOLY. What does the word holy mean?
Holy- set apart, unique, distinct. God is set apart, unique, and distinct from the rest of His creation. There is none other like our God.
All of the rest of God’s attributes clarify just how holy God is.
He is unique in his power- He is all powerful, we are not.
He is set apart in his faithfulness. He never fails, we do.
He is distinct in His righteousness- He always does what is right, we do not.
Here David applies God’s holiness to answered prayer.
The second part of the verse: God is enthroned on the praises of Israel.
God is so uniquely able to answer the prayers of His people that God’s people are constantly praising Him. In fact the praises of God’s people for answered prayer are so numerous that can sit enthroned on them.
So while it may feel that God has forsake, that He is far away— nothing could be further from the truth! So David chooses to put his confidence in the TRUTH!
Feelings are great liars. When you are in the mist of pain and grief you will never feel that God is uniquely faithful, or powerful, or sovereign, or loving, or righteous.
God wants you to turn to Him in prayer, He wants you to be open and honest with Him by laying out your complaints before him. But then God wants you to move past your complaint and even in the midst of pain choose to place your confidence in truth.
God it feels like you are acting this way in my life, YET I know the truth. I know you are holy. I know you sit enthroned in the praises of your people for you mighty deeds and righteous acts!
Let God’s truth move your heart from why to who!
4 In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.
What is David doing here? He is remembering how his holy God answered the prayers of generation after generation of the Israelite people. David’s fathers trusted in their holy God, and God again and again, delivered them.
5 To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
Not put to shame- seems like a bit of an understatement doesn’t it?
Yet, shame is exactly what the psalmist feels in his current situation and he uses this to go back to another complaint.
C. Complaint: Scorned (6-8)
C. Complaint: Scorned (6-8)
There is a second cycle here of complaint and then confidence. Why? I think this is how grief works. There are no neat edges when it comes to pain. Nothing is orderly, sometimes nothing makes sense. David made his complaint and then turned that to confidence. But, the pain is still there and he cycles back to making another complaint.
6 But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people.
The first complaint was all about God- My God why have your forsaken me.
This second complaint is all about David’s enemies.
I am a worm- in the eyes of his enemies they viewed David as nothing but a worthless worm. He is not valuable, rather he is a worthless pest.
Illustration: worms on the driveway after a heavy rain. Do you go around picking them up and carefully placing them back in the grass? Or do you just back the car out of the driveway and go about your life? Why? Because they are worms. Their value is not that high. This is how David felt.
Because he was worthless in the eyes of his enemies they scorned (insulted) and despised (looked down on) him.
7 All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads;
This verse describes how David’s enemies mocked him. They made all kinds of gestures and facial expressions as they taunted him. They laughed at him, mocked him. They make mouths at me (sneer) and wag their heads (shook their heads).
8 “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”
The word trust comes from the verb “to roll.” The idea is that trusting is the idea of rolling or casting burdens on the Lord.
The verb trust is also an imperative. It would have added to the taunt. David’s enemies were seeking to destroy him all the while taunting and challenging him to trust in God for escape.
Again, Christians cannot read this verse without their minds going to the gospels.
43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’ ”
In the same way that David suffered from the taunts and threats of his enemies, Jesus, the Son of God, was reviled as He hung on the cross of Calvary. There is a divine correspondence between the suffering of David and the suffering of Jesus. Although, that suffering was infinitely heightened heightened for our Savior.
D. Confidence: Trustworthy (9-10)
D. Confidence: Trustworthy (9-10)
Again, notice the turning point in this prayer.
9 Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
What is the most important word? YET!
David’s opponents had just mocked him- He trust in the Lord, let him deliver him! The taunt being- there is no way the Lord can save David from our hands.
And to David it sure feels this way- “I am a worm and not a man.” I feel worthless!
Again, feelings are great liars! Instead and allowing his feelings to overwhelm him, David offers to the Lord his honest complaint and then chooses to put his confidence in what is true!
YET, you are he who took me from the womb, lit. God, you are the one who pushed me out of the womb. And from the moment of my birth you made me trust you! You made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
10 On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
From the very start of his life he was taught to trust the Lord. David was put in positions where he had to trust the Lord! Can you think of any? lions, bears, giants (no, I am not talking about football teams).
From my mother’s womb you have been MY GOD! Throughout David’s entire life the Lord has been his God. And every step of the way God has been trustworthy!
If God had been trustworthy for David’s entire life leading up to this point, then this trial, no matter how dire and painful, is simply another opportunity to trust in God.
David did not give in to the taunts of the wicked, instead He put his confidence in what was true!
He had been trusting God from the moment of his birth until now, and he could trust God again.
How about you? Can you look back and remember times in your life when God proved trustworthy? Remind yourself of that! That is what is true! Our God is faithful and trustworthy.
Can you speak these words of David? You have been MY GOD?
If so I invite you to choose to put your confidence in what is true!
This is such an important step in the prayer of lament!
Mark Vroegop says, “His (David’s) complaints are not cul-de-sacs of sorrow but bridges that lead him to God’s character.”
“Is there anything you have stopped asking God to do in your life? Has the pain of circumstances or have the disappointments of unanswered prayers led you to a resigned silence as to what you want to see God do? Maybe yet can become your new favorite word in the Bible. Perhaps it could be the bridge that leads you to make your requests with a new level of confidence.”
Examples: unsaved friend that you have been praying for a long time, prodigal child, unsaved sibling, estranged parent . . .
How do we turn from godly complaint to asking boldly? How do we do that when we are still in the midst of pain and grief?
Choose to put your confidence in truth
II. Combine your desperation with the character of God (vv. 11-21)
II. Combine your desperation with the character of God (vv. 11-21)
What happens to your prayer life when you are hurting? What about when you are desperate? We pray differently when we are hurting and desperate. If you know you know. Pain has a way for stirring our cold and immoveable hearts to cry out boldly to God for help!
Illustration: On a Monday Night Football game in January of 2023, The Buffalo Bills were playing the Cincinnati Bengals.
During the first quarter of the game, one of the defensive players for the Bills, Damar Hamlin, suffered a cardiac arrest on the field after he was hit during the game. Damar made a routine tackle. He stood back up and then collapsed to the ground. The ambulance came on to the field, they performed CPR on the 50 yard line. It was a terrifying scene.
If you go back and watch the YouTube videos of that emergency, almost everyone on the field was on their knees praying. There was nothing they could do. Desperation led them to prayer. Thankfully Dramar made a full recovery.
Friends how much more should Christians pray during times of desperation? When we combine desperation with the character of our God that causes us to ask boldly for God’s help.
A. Request: Be Near (11)
A. Request: Be Near (11)
11 Be not far from me, for trouble is near, and there is none to help.
Notice how each request boldly and confidently calls upon God to act!
Do not be far from me! Be near me God!
Why? Trouble is near, and there is none to help.
So why does David want God near? Because he is confident in God’s character. If God is near, trouble cannot also be near. If God is near then there is no possibility of trouble at all because God is greater than all our trouble!
David knows this to be true about God and he is also desperate! These things combined cause David to ask God boldly for help.
B. Complaint: Overwhelmed (12-18)
B. Complaint: Overwhelmed (12-18)
12 Many bulls encompass me; strong bulls of Bashan surround me;
David is surrounded by powerful and overwhelming enemies.
Bull were surrounding him, Bulls of Bashan. Everything in Bashan seemed to grow bigger and better. His enemies seemed powerful, brutish, senseless, and dangerous.
13 they open wide their mouths at me, like a ravening and roaring lion.
Picture a ferocious lion tearing and snarling as it consumes its prey.
14 I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast;
Hyperbole to describe his physical weakness and his failing spirit.
Physical:
- poured out like water- weakened condition. I am drained of energy.
- all my bones are out of joint- he was racked with pain. It felt as if his bones were disconnected.
Failing spirit:
- heart is like wax, melted in his breast- he has almost lost the will to live.
15 my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death.
His strength is gone. He is dried up and withering away. His mouth is dry, his tongue sticks to the rough of his mouth.
Notice the last part of v. 15, perhaps the most troubling part of this complaint.
YOU lay me in the dust of death. Who is the YOU? God. If God did not deliver David, then it was as if God Himself was laying David in the grave.
Another divine correspondence to Jesus. Jesus suffered on the cross. He was surrounded by his enemies. He was taunted and mocked by the Jews. But ultimately is was God the Father who was laying Messiah in the grave.
Isaiah 53:10 (ESV)
10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief;
23 this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men.
16 For dogs encompass me; a company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet—
They have pierced my hands and feet- fits the context of scavenging dogs. David poetically states that it feels like his enemies nip and bite and in the process pierce his hands and feet.
Be we see Jesus- whose hands and feet were pierced by those nails as he was crucified for our sins.
17 I can count all my bones— they stare and gloat over me;
All of David’s suffering had cause him to loose weight. He was so emaciated, so thin, he could easily count his bones.
18 they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.
The last item a person would hold on to would be the clothes on their back. Here David’s enemies were already divvying up his possess because they thought of David as good as dead.
24 so they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.” This was to fulfill the Scripture which says, “They divided my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.” So the soldiers did these things,
C. Request: Deliver (19-21)
C. Request: Deliver (19-21)
19 But you, O Lord, do not be far off! O you my help, come quickly to my aid!
David is desperate! He has pored out his heart to the Lord in godly complaint. Now again he turns to the Lord and asks boldly of God. His request is filled with urgency and expectation.
God you alone are my help, come quickly to my aid!
20 Deliver my soul from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dog!
Deliver me! Deliver my soul! God is a delivering God. That is His character. David knows this. He knows what God is like. And he is desperate! If God doesn’t intervene soon David will be lying in the grave. These things combined, desperation and a knowledge of God’s character cause David to ask boldly.
Help me! Deliver me! And finally Save me!
21 Save me from the mouth of the lion! You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen!
Friends what is your need this morning?
Have you asked God boldly to help you, to deliver you, to save you?
Do you have faith in God’s character to do so?
Go to the Lord with your pain, and allow you desperation and your faith in God’s character to cause you to ask God boldly for deliverance.
And the point of making these requests is not only to meet your immediate need. The bigger point is to cause you to rely on God alone!
Have you been asking God boldly for help in dealing with your pain? Or have you been silent? Have you been stuck in the rut of complaint? You need to move past that complaint to asking God boldly in faith.
There are many Psalms that give us wonderful helps in how to ask God boldly for something.
12 Arise, O Lord; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.
11 Oh, grant us help against the foe, for vain is the salvation of man!
6 Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
3 Restore us, O God; let your face shine, that we may be saved!
1 To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit. 2 Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.
6 Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace.
10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!
23 Awake and rouse yourself for my vindication, for my cause, my God and my Lord! 24 Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, according to your righteousness, and let them not rejoice over me!
Friends do you have the faith in God to ask him boldly your requests?
How do we turn from godly complaint to asking boldly? How do we do that when we are still in the midst of pain and grief?
Choose to put your confidence in truth
Combine your desperation with the character of God
III. Remember the Man of Sorrows
III. Remember the Man of Sorrows
When we are in the midst of our pain and our grief and we are not sure we can go to God and ask him boldly for his help always remember the Man of Sorrows who is acquainted with all our grief.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
8 “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”
16 For dogs encompass me; a company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet—
18 they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.
Friends as Christians we are invited, even commanded to ask boldly.
16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
What is the basis for our confidence? Why can we draw near to the throne of grace? Why we expect to receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need?
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Jesus knows us. He know our weaknesses. He can sympathize with us because he was tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sin.
Jesus is the man of sorrows. He is acquainted with grief. He was despised and esteemed not.
Jesus bore our griefs and carried our sorrows. He was smitten by God and afflicted. He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities. With his wounds we are healed because the Lord has laid on him the
iniquity of us all.
We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.
Therefore,
16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
What pain are you bearing? What grief do you carry? Will you put into practice the biblical prayer of lament?
Will you turn to God, will you practice godly complaint, and then will you ask God boldly for his mercy, for his grace, for his help?
How do we turn from godly complaint to asking boldly? How do we do that when we are still in the midst of pain and grief?
Choose to put your confidence in truth
Combine your desperation with the character of God
Remember the Man of Sorrows
Refutation: What if I don’t know what to pray?
Consider appealing to God through the words of the Psalms. Go home and pray one of the laments- Psalm 22 or Psalm 13. Use the Scriptures to accurately give voice to your pain.
Consider using the resource of your local church body. If you can’t ask boldly for your pain- ask one of your fellow members to pray boldly for you.
Illustration: Parents of prodigal children came to the front and knelt in prayer, then members in the church came and put their hands on their shoulders and began to pray boldly for them. Boldness inspires boldness. This is what Christ intends for the church. One of my daily prayers is that we would become a praying church. This is what I mean. Open and honest with one another, weeping with those who weep. The body exercising their spiritual gifts to build each other up in love. Do not neglect the Christ intended resource of your local church.
What daunting need is staring you down? Whatever it is talk to God about it. Confidently ask Him to help you. Don’t allow your pain and your struggle to keep you far away from your gracious God. Go to Him in lament. Call God to act! Ask him for the grace and mercy that you need.
Allow the prayer of lament to push spiritual strength into your soul. Keep asking- boldly.
