The Folly of Infidelity

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Welcome everyone!

Anyone memorize a Proverb this week?

MINE: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver, is a word spoken in right circumstances”

OPENING PRAYER

Lord, would you help us today to see the greatness of Your wisdom? Would you help us to put our worldly ways of thinking away and replace them with your ways. And would You help us to come to Your Word today as a life giving substance that is worthy of our complete devotion. We ask that you would not only give us understanding, but help us to apply these truths directly to our lives and be faithful to this Word today. Amen.

Sermon Introduction

The Folly of Infidelity. Part of Solomon’s wisdom book is about how to have a meaningful, fulfilling, God-honoring marriage. And Solomon who is writing to his son about how to live wisely includes serval things about marriage faithfulness.

God has much to say about how marriage works well. Because God is the Creator, he made mankind, He Himself is love, He created relationships, He knows what makes a marriage great.

If we want to live life well, a god honoring marriage is essential. Most people spend all of their adult lives living with another person! And if we fail in this area, it is not hard to see that life itself is going to be difficult and hard.

Every time I preach about marriage, people get offended. It is not my intent to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, but I have to preach the whole counsel of God and that includes the subject of marriage. This sermon is not meant to condemn, but to give us wisdom on how to have a God-honoring fulfilling marriage. .

Chapter 5 is broken down into three major parts:

The deception of infidelity

The consequences of infidelity

The Wisdom of Faithfulness

The Deception of Infidelity

Proverbs 5:1–6 NASB95

My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding; That you may observe discretion And your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it.

What is an adulterous woman?

The Hebrew actually says “strange woman”

A woman who is in a place or environment where she does not belong.

The strange woman here is one who has the desire to step outside of the covenant boundaries of marriage.

She is doing this by trying to seduce a young man to join with her in immorality.

How does she tempt him?

“With lips that drip honey” and with “smooth speech”

The picture is honey dripping from the honey comb that is sweet and attractive.

Its referring to what she says to the young man:

Flattering

caring

compassionate

comforting are all examples of how this can take place

This is usually where a simple attraction moves into a desire.

A man or a woman is not getting the attention they desire at home. They feel like their needs are not being met at home. The marriage is not always pleasant at home.

Then someone else comes along offering them all the things that they feel like they feel like they are mission out on.

Her words lead him to dreaming of what it could be, of exciting things, and of great satisfaction, of a relationship that is fulfilling.

BUT, in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword.

Wormwood is a symbol of suffering.

It is mentioned in the judgements of God in the book of Revelation as a star that poisons the water the world will drink.

It’s root meaning is bitterness

The two edged sword refers to that which causes wounds and pain.

A sword slices and stabs to inflict injury.

Point 1: Marital Unfaithfulness always seems sweet at first, but always becomes bitter in the end

What seems at first to be fulfillment and satisfaction will ultimately become poison and pain.

(v 5) “Her feet go down to death”…“Her steps take hold of Sheol” (the place of the dead)…(v 6) “she does not ponder the path of life”: she is not on the path of wisdom. She is not walking with the Lord.

Not only does she cause pain, but the direction she is headed is death.

This most likely is a reference to the judgement by the law for committing adultery.

In the OT law, adultery was a caption offense.

Leviticus 20:10 NASB95

‘If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

I put this in here to demonstrate how serious it was to commit adultery in Israel as compared to how our culture views adultery today

Not only can her decision lead to physical death, but also spiritual death

She does not ponder (watch) the path of life

She has chosen the path of folly which ultimately leads to spiritual death.

She does not ponder the path of life meaning she has chosen to not only abandon her husband, but also God.

She is on the path of immorality that leads to spiritual death.

(v 6) “her ways are unstable, she does not know it”

Point 2: Those who try to attract or even seduce married people are unstable guides

They have abandoned God, they have abandoned their covenant with God, and therefore they are waking in moral darkness.

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until the full day, but the path of the wicked is like darkness, they do not know over what they stumble”.

And when that temptation comes and presents itself, WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND TO LISTEN TO THEM IS TO FOLLOW BLIND GUIDES

What a foolish thing to follow a blind man or woman

What foolish thing to listen to words of an immoral woman, all of her promises of satisfaction only to find out she is walking in darkness!

PONIT: They are not trustworthy! Do not trust someone who tries to tempt you into sin.

HERE IS SOME GREAT ADVICE

Proverbs 5:7–8 NASB95

Now then, my sons, listen to me And do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her And do not go near the door of her house,

If we do not subject ourselves to temptation, then we are much less likely to become a victim to it!

There is so much wisdom to be learned here.

Do not even open the door for that to happen.

Guard yourself! Don’t allow yourself to be put into places where there would even be temptation to be unfaithful!

Lets think about this practically:

Never let yourself be alone with someone of the opposite sex no matter who it is!

This is not being extreme, its being wise. Billy Graham said he would not even ride in an elevator alone with another woman.

If circumstances are going to allow that to happen, then change the circumstances! It doesn’t matter if there is any attraction at all, you don’t go there.

This is why our one-on-one discipleship is gender specific. Its to prevent any kind of thing like this from happening in the church.

Be careful who you talk to

This is how infidelity begins. Casual conversations that lead to feelings. Friendly conversation then becomes private conversation hidden from the spouse.

There are so many avenues today to talk to people at our fingertips, so we must be extra careful and take even more precaution.

Consequences of Unfaithfulness

Proverbs 5:9–14 NASB95

Or you will give your vigor to others And your years to the cruel one; And strangers will be filled with your strength And your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien; And you groan at your final end, When your flesh and your body are consumed; And you say, “How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! “I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors! “I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”

You will lose dignity- (v 9) “You will give your vigor (Honor) to others, and your years to the cruel one”

When unfaithfulness in a marriage happens, the first thing that goes is that person’s respect

Let’s face it, there isn’t much this world enjoys doing more than tearing other people down.

That person becomes the talk of the town, that person becomes the subject of city gossip, that person is the one who receives the looks of shame.

“and your years to the cruel one”

That is a person spends years building up a good reputation. Wanting people to think the best of them. A good mom, a good wife, a person with dignity.

And it only takes one bad decision to throw that all away.

You will suffer financially - “all your hard earned goods will go to the house of an alien [NIV “and your toil enrich the house of another]

Its a picture of financial difficulty. One who chooses to break their marriage vowels can expect financial hardships.

And more specifically, “all your hard earned goods will go the house of another”

It is not clear how this would have been applied in 700 BC.

But this is still true today: child support, alimony, selling the family home, selling off shared possessions, retirement divided between the couple especially if only one was working.

Statistics show around 65% of people who get diverted spend at least 5 years recovering financially and the other 35% even longer.

Studies show that an additional 30% of income is needed to keep up with the same standard of living for each person prior to divorce.

Infidelity costs.

You will have bitter regret - “And you will groan at your final end, “how I have hated instruction! And I have spurned reproof”

These are the words of deep regret. Self hatred of past choices that now have reaped devastating consequences.

This is the picture of a person who is now at the end of their life and there is nothing left to do but mourn and weep

A life that has been forever altered, hindered, even destroyed by the curse of infidelity

You will become a public disgrace - “I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation”

The assembly or congregation refers again to the community

It is a picture of shame that comes upon a person to point of being nearly ruined.

Everything that person is now is seen through that particular sin.

Wisdom for the Married

) Only Drink water from your own cistern

Proverbs 5:15–17 NASB95

Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you.

A cistern or a well was a prized possessions in Israel. There were no water lines, nor water departments so water sources came by digging a well or a cistern. And without water one could not live.

Wells and cisterns provided an endless supply of fresh, cold, satisfying water.

Water is a staple of life. And there is good water and bad water. Bitter water and sweet water. Refreshing water and water that will turn your stomach.

This metaphor presents a wife as a cistern or well that gives forth water

The water is a picture of restriction to the husband!

The water drawn from the wife is a metaphor for intimacy!

The father is telling the son, don’t get your water from anywhere else son that is foolishness!

All intimacy IS TO BE WITHIN the bounds of marriage and anything outside that is sexual immorality!

Even if you are not married.

Wise people remain pure until they have be joined in marriage!

But there is also the encouragement here!

Your own cistern at home, your own well….DRINK FROM YOUR OWN WELL!

Do you remember the seductive woman in verse 3? She gives water too, but her water that begins sweet as honey turns as bitter as wormwood.

The water of your wife is always sweet.

Of coarse this goes both ways. It applies to the wives just as it applies to the husbands.

Why does Scripture use these metaphors or images instead of just saying it like it is?

Because poetic statements like this become riveted into our minds and we never forget them!

And Solomon wants his son to never forget that his source of water is to be from his wife and his wife only!

WhenThe temptation arises he will remember the words of his father: drink water from your own cistern!

And when the temptation comes into our lives God wants us to remember that phrase: Drink water from your own cistern!

Be affectionate with your wife!

Proverbs 5:18–20 NASB95

Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?

Enjoy her physically

Marriage is not about two people under a mutual agreement to tough it out together!

Marriage is not just about having children and then all intimacy is gone!

“be exhilarated always with her love”

This is an ongoing love relationship with your wife and wives this is an ongoing love relationship with your husbands.

Application:

Physical Intimacy is vital for a healthy marriage

Do not withhold affection from one another for any reason!

1 Corinthians 7:4 NASB95

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Because God created marriage, and God knows what makes marriage great. Take his wisdom and apply it to your marriage, and I promise you it will get better.

We can hide nothing from the eyes of God

Proverbs 5:21–23 NASB95

For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.

Now Solomon has saved his most powerful argument for marital faithfulness last

God sees everything

To one who thinks they can have secret conversations with another person, God sees it

To the one who looks at things they ought not be looking at God sees it

To the one who flirts and allows himself to be put into places of temptation, God sees it

And to the one who dreams of finding another person to be with, God sees that

And behind everything else that we may seem to hide from, we are ultimately accountable to God. And that is what matters most.

And the implication of unfaithfulness is judgement

Natural consequences:

(v 22) “His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin.”

One of the lies of sin is that it promises freedom, yet the truth is it really leads to captivity.

We see this with drug and alcohol use. The promise of freedom and enjoyment, but it leads to slavery

The same is true for marital unfaithfulness. It promises freedom, and satisfaction yet the end result is enslavement.

Supernatural consequences:

(v 23) “he will die from lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray”

Astray meaning off the path of the wise and into the darkness

And the path of folly leads to spiritual death.

CONCLUSION

You May be hearing this and saying this sermon has nothing to do with me…I would ask you to reconsider:

To those who are not married: stay pure until you are married. You trust God that He will bring the right person into your life if you will commit to be that right person until they come. God has the best for you, but it will only be found in a marriage that honors Him.

To those who are married: Faithfulness to your spouse is the wisest thing you can do for your marriage and yourself. Love and enjoy your wife, and wives love and enjoy your husbands.

To those who say, “I’m too old for any of this advice”: teach the next generation what a biblical marriage looks like. When your children or grandchildren have hardships COMPEL THEM TO CLING TO THEIR WIVES OR HUSBANDS AND TO NOT GIVE UP! And exhort them to stay pure, for that is the path to God’s best.

Without Jesus, you will never be able to love your spouse the way God calls us to. You will never find the satisfaction and fulfillment in a marriage until you have the love of God inside of you.

Get the sin out of your life, Come to Jesus, give your life to Jesus, and then Jesus will give your marriage life.

~PRAYER~