The Marks of Genuine Christian Love, Part I (Romans 12:9–13)

Introduction

Today, we're going to talk about the marks of genuine Christian love. Have you ever heard someone say, “That doesn't sound too loving. I thought you were a Christian!” Christians shouldn't let the world define for us what love is. We're going to let the Bible describe to us today what Christian love actually looks like. What are the actual marks of genuine Christian love that should be evident in a Christian?

Now the world defines love in ways that are that aren't necessarily biblical.

For instance, love is defined in in our culture as a feeling. I have this big feeling of love towards you, and get swept up in the emotion of it and I fall in love with you. Tons of romance movies are based on feelings. And then at some point things get rough and I'm not having that same good feeling anymore. The culture tells you that you are now falling out of love. So the culture then describes love as a feeling and nothing more.

Or love is described in our society by consumerism, buying gifts. And if someone didn’t buy something for me, that means they don’t love me. Love is often defined by our own self-centeredness. What is that person doing for me?

Or love is defined in our culture as being inclusive. There shouldn't be any judgment, everything should be OK. There's no right or wrong. Just accept it. It's all love.

But all of these things don't begin to express the marks of genuine Christian love that we see in Scripture. What does actual Christian love look like? We’ll see that today in Romans 12. If you have your Bibles, open up to Romans 12:9-13.

I’m going to start us off by summarizing where we are in Romans 12. In the beginning of Romans 12. Paul has described Christians as being “living sacrifices.” But what's important to note is that being a “living sacrifice” is not something automatic. If it were, it wouldn't be something that Paul needed to urge you to be. Being a living sacrifice is something that the Christian does with intentionality in his spiritual life toward God.

He says that Christians should see themselves as people who are not of this current age. In other words, even though you live in this current time period and culture, do not let the culture that surrounds you define who you are as a Christian.

Instead, we are to be people whose thinking is changed. Our thoughts are to be impacted and transformed by the spiritual work of the Holy Spirit working through God’s Word. And when you're thinking is transformed by God's word, you will be able to understand God's will for your life with a clear perception and clarity.

And the first thought process that he points to that needs to be changed is the thought process about yourself. He says in Romans 12:3 that we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to.

Instead of thinking of ourselves as individuals, he encourages us to think of ourselves as now being part of a united whole. Christian, you are part of a new community. As part of the body of Christ, you are not an observer of God’s work. Instead, you are now a participant in his plan. You are now part of the work of God in the world, and each one of us has a role in that work. Each one of us have different gifts that are meant to encourage and strengthen one another. I am one part of the church. I am not the whole church. Each person here has an important part in this community of believers.

But after speaking about individual gifts within the body of Christ, he's going to bring us to Romans 12:9 where he's going to shift and say, even though there are individual gifts that are different among us, there are marks of genuine Christian love that should be evident in all of us.

These marks of genuine Christian love are going to define what it means to be a living sacrifice to God. What does it actually look like to be someone transformed by the Spirit of God? It’s going to look like someone with the marks of genuine Christian love that he outlines in the rest of Romans 12.

I’m going to take the rest of Romans 12 in two parts. I’m going to start with the marks of genuine Christian love, part one, today, and we’ll finish this chapter next week.

The first part of the marks of genuine Christian love are shown in Romans 12:9-13. If you have your Bibles, please look there as I read it.

Scripture Reading

Romans 12:9–13 CSB

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. 13 Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.

Pray

Now, I had planned to preach Romans 12:9-21 in one sermon, but it was too difficult. In this text in Romans 12 are probably about 10 or so different sermons that you could preach. So we're going to do it in two parts, today doing Romans 12:9-13.

There’s another reason this text is difficult to preach from. It’s difficult because of how prescriptive it is. You read through this, and basically it says, do this, and don't do this. And if you do this and don't do this, you'll be on the right track.

Now what’s the problem with that? The problem with that is that these issues are spiritual issues. And every time you are confronted with your spiritual condition in Scripture, it's always going to be convicting. Each one of us will read Romans 12 and see places within this where we are failing, or falling short.

So as we approach this text, remember that there is only one person who has ever lived this text out perfectly: the Son of God, Jesus Christ. He is the only one who has ever lived a life of perfect love. He is our Good Shepherd, our guide, and our perfect example. We’ll actually take a look today at some ways of how Jesus fulfilled these marks of genuine Christian love.

The overarching theme of Romans 12:9 to the end of the chapter are the characteristics of genuine Christian love. In fact, a lot of the themes in Romans 12 are echoed in the famous love chapter by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. You can hear the themes in Romans 12 repeated in Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6, where he says:

1 Corinthians 13:4–6 CSB

4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.

And it goes on. Many of those same themes in 1 Corinthians 13 are repeated in Romans 12. In fact, in many ways, these verses in Romans 12 are an expansion on the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13.

The first part of these verses will tell us about

The nature of genuine Christian love

I’m going to outline for us seven different marks of genuine Christian love that come right out of Romans 12:9-13. He's going to start us off by saying,

First,

1. Christian love should be authentic (Romans 12:9 a).

Take a look at the beginning of Romans 12:9.

Romans 12:9 CSB

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good.

He starts off Romans 12:9 by saying, “Let love be without hypocrisy.” In other words, love shouldn't be something where you have to fake it till you make it. A spiritual life is not a life of pretend. If you say you love God and love others, that love should overflow in the actions of your Christian life.

The Lord Jesus certainly didn't live an inauthentic life of love. His love was evident in the things he said and the things that he did.

We'll get into that more as we look further into these marks of genuine Christian love.

Second

2. Christian love should be discerning (Romans 12:9 b)

The way you show love for God and others in your Christian life is by being discerning. Being discerning means to know the difference between right and wrong. He says at the end of Romans 12:9, “Detest evil; cling to what is good.” Detest evil. The Bible does describe that there are things that God hates or detests. Take a look at Proverbs 6:16-19:

Proverbs 6:16–19 CSB

16 The Lord hates six things; in fact, seven are detestable to him: 17 arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet eager to run to evil, 19 a lying witness who gives false testimony, and one who stirs up trouble among brothers.

In other words, if you were to sum all this up, God hates sin. Sin is detestable to God. Sin was detestable to Jesus. It's the reason why he called out the Pharisees as hypocrites and drove out the money changers from the temple. He hates corruption amongst his people. Sin is detestable to him.

And if sin is detestable to God, sin should be detestable to God's children. It is a loving thing to warn people against sin, because as a child of God, we hate what God hates. If someone is caught up clinging to a sinful lifestyle, it is a loving thing to warn them that they are on the wrong side of God. God loves people, but hates sin. We do the same.

“Detest evil; cling to what is good.” People in Jesus Christ are called to be people who cling to the good. If you have to ask if something is a sin or not, it probably is. People who express genuine Christian love are people who love to do what is good in the sight of God.

How can we be people who do what is good in the sight of God? Take a look at this third point.

Third,

3. Christian love should be honoring (Romans 12:10).

Romans 12:10 CSB

10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.

Christians are people who lead others in expressing genuine Christian love by honoring one another. What does honoring others actually look like? Did Jesus take the lead in honoring others? He certainly did. Jesus shows us how to honor others.

In John 15:15, Jesus looks at his disciples and says,

John 15:15 CSB

15 I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.

The revelation that we have about the Son of God comes from the overflow of his love. God honors us by making things known to us about himself. He does not need to reveal anything. God could simply demand we serve him because he’s God and we’re not. But that’s not what he does. Instead, God takes the time to reveal his nature to his children, he reveals his character. He reveals the Son of God to us. He honors us by the presence of his Spirit in our lives.

There are many examples of how Jesus showed honor to others. You could point to how he honored the marginalized in society. He ate with tax collectors and touched lepers and included women in his ministry, which was not a societal norm at the time.

But one of the best examples of how he took the lead in honoring others in his ministry was at a supper before the Passover, where as it says in John 13:4–5, “he got up from supper, laid aside his outer clothing, took a towel, and tied it around himself. 5 Next, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet and to dry them with the towel tied around him.” The Son of God showed genuine love by taking the lead in honoring others, and he calls us to do the same.

Fourth

4. Christian love should be diligent and enthusiastic in service (Romans 12:11).

He says this in Romans 12:11,

Romans 12:11 CSB

11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord.

Now what's interesting is that each one of these items will affect the next. If you are diligent in your zeal, then you will be fervent in the Spirit of God. And if you are fervent in the Spirit of God, then you will serve the Lord. These are not disconnected ideas in the spiritual life of a person. It is together.

Now, what does it mean to be diligent? Diligence has the idea of eagerness. There is an excited fervor within you to do something or accomplish something. And what is he saying that you should be eager about? Now in the CSB it says, “Do not lack diligence in zeal.” That word zeal there is not actually in the Greek text. The CSB is translating the context of that sentence. The literal translation of the Greek is, “in diligence not lagging.” I like how the NLT translates this as, “Never be lazy.”

Here's the essence of what he is saying, “Don't be lazy in your spiritual life.” If there is anything that you should be working hard toward, it should be growing in Christ. I like to remind us the salvation is not the end goal. It is the starting point. Salvation is where your life begins. There’s so much more to the Christian life. The Christian life is a life of intentionality. You don't grow as a Christian through osmosis. You grow as a Christian by putting the Lord first in everything that you do.

You grow as a Christian, as Romans 12:11 says, by being “fervent in the Spirit of God.” That word fervent is the Greek word ζέοντες which means to be enthusiastic or excited. He's saying, “Christian, be enthusiastic, be excited about what God is doing in your life.”

A genuine Christian love for God and others has an enthusiasm about it. You don't love what you find boring. When you love someone or something, you're excited about it. Enthusiasm will ultimately lead to serving the Lord. You can sum it up like this: Be intentional about your Christian life, be enthusiastic about what God is doing in you. and serve him in everything.

The Lord Jesus was intentional and enthusiastic to do what the Father called him to do. He said this in Luke 4:43,

Luke 4:43 CSB

43 But he said to them, “It is necessary for me to proclaim the good news about the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because I was sent for this purpose.”

The Lord lived out with enthusiasm the purpose that the Father had for him, and the Lord calls us to do the same.

Christian love should be authentic, discerning, honoring, diligent and enthusiastic in service…

Fifth

5. Christian love should be patient and hopeful (Romans 12:12 a).

Take a look at the first part of Romans 12:12.

Romans 12:12 CSB

12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

Hope is something intrinsic within a person. Hope has to do with a confident expectation within you, and it is the confidence that we have in Jesus Christ that gives us a reason to rejoice in hope.

When it says, “Rejoice in hope,” rejoice is the verb in that statement. It's the action step for the Christian. Christian love is filled with a happiness that is grounded in the confidence that we have in Jesus Christ.

We can rejoice in hope because of the assurance of salvation that we have in Jesus Christ and because of the security of God's promises for our life. Amidst all of the struggles and trials that we have in this world, there is a hope that we have in Jesus Christ that anchors the soul.

Hebrews 6:17-19 explains the hope that we have as Christians. It says,

Hebrews 6:17–19 CSB

17 Because God wanted to show his unchangeable purpose even more clearly to the heirs of the promise, he guaranteed it with an oath, 18 so that through two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to seize the hope set before us. 19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.

I'll just get straight to the point of what he is saying. God is bringing people to himself, and he has sealed the promise of salvation from sin through the cross. And God has said whoever believes in him will have eternal life and that oath is sealed by the blood of the lamb.

Now it is impossible for God to lie, and therefore those of us who have run to him and taken refuge in Jesus Christ have a confident hope, a hope that is anchored and secured in the promises of God's sealed by the blood of the Lamb.

And we rejoice in that hope because it is a hope guaranteed for his children, because he has sealed that guarantee with the most precious gift imaginable, the life of his Son given for his people on the cross.

And therefore, since we have that kind of a confident hope, we can be patient in affliction. When the trials and tribulations and the heartaches of this world come against us, there is nothing more powerful in our lives than the promises of God sealed through the cross. And therefore, no matter what comes our way we can be patient in affliction, because no matter what, we have the promises of God sealed by Jesus Christ, our firm foundation.

Christian love is patient and hopeful because of who Jesus is in our life. He is our firm foundation.

Sixth

6. Christian love should be prayerful (Romans 12:12 b).

The last part of Romans 12:12 says to, “Be persistent in prayer.” If you start tying all of these together: If love is authentic, if love is discerning by detesting evil and clinging to what is good, if Christians lead in love by honoring others and being enthusiastic to serve the Lord, If our love is hopeful and patient, prayer will ultimately be the overflow or the natural result of all these things.

If I authentically and genuinely love you, I will remember you in my prayer life. If I detest evil and cling to what is good, I will be careful to repent to God of sin and pray for God's goodness in my life and your life. If I lead in love by honoring others, what greater honor is there than to prioritize you in my prayer life? If we are hopeful in God and patient, we will persist in prayer.

Jesus persisted in prayer. Prayer was a regular practice in his ministry. Mark 1:35 speaks of Jesus getting up early in the morning to pray. Luke 5:16 describes Jesus as often withdrawing to lonely places and praying.

Jesus would pray before major decisions. In Luke 6:12 it says Jesus “spent all night in prayer to God” before selecting his twelve disciples. He prayed during times of distress. He persisted in prayer in the garden before the cross.

He prayed for others when he interceded for Peter. It says in Luke 22:32,

Luke 22:32 CSB

32 But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Not only Peter, Jesus prayed for all of us. In his prayer in John 17:20 he said,

John 17:20 CSB

20 “I pray not only for these, but also for those who believe in me through their word.

Time and time again, Jesus always persisted in prayer. Prayer was the overflow of a life lived in perfect love to God and others, and prayer should be the overflow of our life. Christian love for God and others should be reflected in a lifestyle of persistent prayer.

Christian love should be authentic, discerning, honoring, diligent and enthusiastic in service, patient and hopeful, prayerful…

Seventh,

7. Christian love should show hospitality and be generous (Romans 12:13).

Romans 12:13 says,

Romans 12:13 CSB

13 Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.

Now this last mark of genuine Christian love is interesting. It goes back to what he had said in the beginning of Romans 12, where he says the Christian is should not think of himself as an individual, but as part of the whole community of God.

In Romans 12:3 he said that no one should, “think of himself more highly than he should think.” In Romans 12:5 he makes the point that “we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.” And so if we as Christians have become part of the community of God, we in essence are one family and have joined into the needs of one another.

For instance, if one part of my body is hurt, suddenly the rest of my body will pay attention to that one part. If I have an elbow injury, the rest of my body will focus on the elbow and will desire for the elbow to become healed.

So if we who are many are now one body, the needs of others in our body become our need. And so it makes sense to share with the saints in their needs.

The early church understood that they were now part of the community of God and had responsibilities towards the needs of others. Acts 2:44-45 says,

Acts 2:44–45 CSB

44 Now all the believers were together and held all things in common. 45 They sold their possessions and property and distributed the proceeds to all, as any had need.

For many people, if you want to scare them away from a church, start preaching a sermon on giving. They’ll say, “Here they go asking for money!”

But I’ve thought, if you ever really want to scare people away, start preaching on the giving practice of the early church in Acts 2. They sold their possessions and property and distributed to everyone in need around them, in the church?

But the principle behind this is not the amount. The principle is the generosity of the heart. The principle is the priority to love others over the love of my own resources. John says it this way in 1 John 3:17:

1 John 3:17 CSB

17 If anyone has this world’s goods and sees a fellow believer in need but withholds compassion from him—how does God’s love reside in him?

He follows that up by saying that our love needs to be a love that responds in action and in truth. It would be a radical thing if the church truly saw themselves as a community, a community that had responsibility towards others around them, and shared in the needs of others. What a radical change that would be.

I think of our own church. I think of how someone in our church expressed a need. and they didn't need to be some sort of coordinated effort from the top. There were already people within the church that are willing to step up and say, you know what? I can take part. I can help with that need. That is a sign of genuine Christian love in our church, “sharing with the saints in their needs,” stepping up to be a part of the solution and help with the needs of others in the church.

When you share with the saints in their need, it sends a message to the world. It would say that we as Christians, out of our love for God, prioritize love for others more than we prioritize our time and our resources. Why do we do that? It’s because we serve a God who gave all that had because we had a desperate need to be saved and to be made whole.

And there's a good reason that Paul includes pursuing hospitality after he describes sharing in the needs of others within the community of God. If we truly follow “sharing with the saints in their needs,” we may want to keep the family small. We’ll say, “We can’t have that guy! We can’t have that girl! They’re too needy.”

But God’s heart is not closed off to people. God seeks for the church of God to grow. And so he says, out of the love that you have for God and others, pursue welcoming more people into the church. We are to be a welcoming people, a community of God that seeks for more people to know the salvation that comes in Jesus Christ. We are to pursue welcoming more people into the kingdom of God. Christian love is a generous love and a welcoming love.

Conclusion

Genuine Christian love is:

Authentic: It overflows out of the actions of our lives.

Discerning: It knows the difference between right and wrong. It is serious about sin and clinging to the goodness of God.

Honoring: It takes the lead in prioritizing others.

Diligent and enthusiastic in service: Genuine love puts God first in everything.

Patient and hopeful: We have a confident hope in Jesus that gives us patience in all things.

Prayerful: The overflow of a life of love to God and others is a life that prioritizes prayer.

Shows hospitality and is generous: As people now part of the community of God, we embrace our responsibilities in loving one another and seek to welcome more people into the kingdom.

Church, let us be a people who show the marks of genuine Christian love in our lives, and live for his glory. Amen.

Prayer

Communion

We will have communion, remembering Jesus and his sacrifice for us. Meditate on the Lord and where your heart is with him.

1 Corinthians 11:23–26 CSB

23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Last Song

Doxology

Numbers 6:24–26 CSB

24 “May the Lord bless you and protect you; 25 may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; 26 may the Lord look with favor on you and give you peace.” ’

Jude 24–25 CSB

24 Now to him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of his glory, without blemish and with great joy, 25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever. Amen.

You are dismissed. Have a great week in the Lord!