To the Unmarried

The Corinthians wrote questions to Paul. This letter, in part, is his answer to them.

Their Question:

1 Corinthians 7:1“1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.””

is this in the context of persecution, over-compensation to environment of sexual sin, asceticism?

His Answer:

1 Corinthians 7:2 “2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

sexual immorality is so pervasive that temptation abounds

hard to have an unquestionable testimony when the automatic assumption is that you are also sexually immoral.

Marriage is good for both the husband and the wife.

What Ought to Be:

1 Corinthians 7:3 “3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

The mutually edifying sexual relationship

is about giving, not taking (getting)

assures comfort, safety, dignity, friendship of both partners

My Dearest Dust

Lady Katherine Dyer (Puritan)

My dearest dust, could not thy hasty day Afford thy drowzy patience leave to stay One hower longer: so that we might either Sate up, or gone to bedd together? But since thy finisht labor hath possest Thy weary limbs with early rest, Enjoy it sweetly: and thy widdowe bride Shall soone repose her by thy slumbring side. Whose business, now, is only to prepare My nightly dress, and call to prayre: Mine eyes wax heavy and ye day growes old. The dew falls thick, my beloved growes cold. Draw, draw ye closed curtaynes: and make room: My dear, my dearest dust; I come, I come.

Why it isnt…

1 Corinthians 7:4 “4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

withholding as a power struggle

sex should not be used as a reward/punishment system

sex may not be demanded. especially when there is discord between husband and wife. (you do not have authority)= abuse, assault, rape

Physical barriers to freedom

changes in health or natural changes in hormone levels affecting level of desire

Psychological barriers to freedom

The Quick-Reference Guide to Sexuality and Relationship Counseling (2 Definitions and Key Thoughts)

— emotional problems in a relationship

— lack of affection in a relationship

— lack of trust in a relationship

— personal stress

— past sexual abuse

— physical and chronic illness

— negative, internalized messages about sex being dirty or immoral

— negative sexual experiences

What else needs to be said…

Marriage is not just about “fire insurance” from sexual temptation

that attitude cheapens the value of the relationship

temptation still exists after marriage

temptation is rooted in our internal desires for forbidden things

the hope of the gospel is not just for the afterlife, it is for right now!

John 10:10 “10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Ephesians 3:20 “20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,”

Song of Solomon 4:9–11 “9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. 10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! 11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue; the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.”