Pitfalls and Foundational Keys in Evangelizing our Children
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Good morning church family,
it’s great to be with you all this morning as we raise up the topic of evangelizing our children.
I think it’s worth noting from the beginning in case somebody doesn’t know.
My wife and I have been given responsibility of three beautiful girls, McKinlee (8), Everlee (5), Hadlee (3).
None of whom have made professions of faith. Now, I say this to simply tell you that we are a mother and a father who are in the same trenches as you.
We understand this right now, because right now we are in the midst of pursuing evangelism in the home just as many of you are.
It truly is amazing to think about the fact that God has entrusted us with these little lives in our care. And He calls us to bring them up in the training and admiration of the Lord.
I think often times we can forget the seriousness of this responsibility.
We at times can forget that we are mere stewards.
They are not our kids.
They’re God’s children.
Who have been given to us for a very short amount of time.
This is a reality that we must not forget.
You know… at first I thought about planning a sharing the gospel time together… my mind if sort of a simple mind. Let’s practice sharing the Gospel. How should we do this one conversation with our children.
It went from that to thinking to myself, what are some things that other fathers and mothers out there say about evangelism of children.
Let’s dig a little deeper, what are some wisdom shared by older saints that have been through this fight before and what have they said?
For me, that’s what I would want to hear. And so, that’s what i set out to find. What are pieces of wisdom, pointers, things to look for in our pursuit of evangelizing my family.
I went that route, because I too have had conversations with my children… you know shared the gospel well in my mind You know… you share the gospel with them… feel like you do it well… you expect this grand response of accepting the GOSPEL and living a life to be the next Billy Graham…
But the response has been something like…
“Daddy, what are we having for dinner?
Or… my favorite so far…
Daddy…. What?…GUESS WHAT….“I tooted”
You begin to understand…. that this is much more of a long haul process rather than a right here right now, “instant salvation” with our children type of thing. Most often, it doesn’t really happen like that.
Obviously, as believing parents we hold the great commission high and especially with our children.
IT IS OUR NORTH STAR if you will.
We have been given these precious image bearer’s of God and we do not want to squander this opportunity of making disciples with out children.
For us parents, this command ultimately begins in the home.
This can be a daunting task.
God you have given me image bearers of yourself… Now I must preach the Gospel to them everyday.
Many parents ask the question,
1. WHat’s the process look like of presenting the gospel to my children?
2. How do I know if i’m doing this right?
As we ask ourselves these questions… there are pitfalls I have found said by some saints in the faith that can surround us as we walk down this road in seeking this endeavor.
These pitfalls are both real and imagined, and they are intimidating to any parent who thinks about this responsibility.
One hand: there’s the danger of leading children to think they are saved when they’re not.
On the other hand, there’s the risk of discouraging children who express a genuine desire to follow Christ.
How then should we evangelize our children?
I think it begins with recognizing and avoiding some pitfalls.
After the 3 pitfalls, obviously I don’t want to just leave you with that, I also want to give you 5 FOUNDATIONAL KEYS to consider in evangelizing your child.
Common Pitfalls in Evangelizing Our Children
Common Pitfalls in Evangelizing Our Children
1. Coercing a Profession of Faith
My wife and I have shared the full gospel with McKinlee, our 8 year old about multiple now when opportunities have come up. Each of those times, I have been sure to tell her, “McKinlee, this is your decision. I do not want you to say yes to Jesus just because you think daddy or mommy want you to do it. This is a decision that you must make for yourself.”
I want her to make this decision on her own.
Her faith in Christ is not going to be my faith in Christ.
I have heard of some parents leading their children through the sinners prayer… or enticing a superficial repsonse from their child.
WHEN WE DO THIS…
Children will almost always respond in whatever way parents ask or push their children towards - this does not at all guarantee a real profession of faith
Be careful of this parents.
There is no reason to do this. The Holy Spirit in God’s timing and Will, will bring about Salvation.
“Rather than getting our children to pray “the sinners prayer”, or enticing them into a superficial response, we must faithfully, patiently, and thoroughly teach them the gospel and diligently pray for their salvation… (I’ll do this in front of them. Allowing them to see my prayers for them to one day know the Lord as I do)
… always bearing in mine that it is God who saves.”
2. Assuming the reality of regeneration, or assuring the child of salvation.
The temptation here is to regard salvation as a settled matter because of an outward indication that the child has believed.
Here’s the thing to think about…
One cannot assume that every profession of faith reflects a genuine work of God in the heart, and this is particularly true of children.
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, drive out demons in your name, and do many miracles in your name?’ 23 Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you lawbreakers!’
Now, if your child has made a profession of faith.. GREAT! PRAISE THE LORD!
But, since our children at times will profess faith because of peer pressure at church, our desire as parents, along with the reality that children can and will commit to something without giving it a full thought…
It is only appropriate to move cautiously in affirming a child’s profession of faith.
Feed it. Water it! Don’t discredit it.
But be cautious in saying… oh yeah… well you’re saved because remember you told me you loved Jesus when you were 5!
Let us be careful of this.
I have parents who have told me… well little Johnny was baptized when he was 6. He know’s Jesus. Or, well little Sarah prayed a prayer when she was 5. All while for a consistent time as an teenager or adult is showing very little evidence of salvation.
Be careful of this parents.
Because of this reality within households… The church is filled with teenagers and adults whose hearts are devoid of a real love for Christ, but who think they are genuine Christians because of something they did or said as children.
Let us allow the Holy Spirit to work in the heart of our children organically.
It is the Holy Spirit that gives assurance of salvation.
15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” 16 The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children,
Again, when there is a profession of faith. Rejoice!
Commend them when you see your child understand, believe and shows genuine evidence of true salvation.
But be careful in our assumptions.
3. Rushing the Ordinance of Baptism
Although scripture commands that believers be baptized, (Matt. 28:19; Acts 2:38), i believe, it is best not to rush into the ordinance in the case of a child.
Now, I don’t think I’m going to go as far as some at saying a child shouldn’t be baptized until they’re 12.
BUT, I do think this it worth mentioning when speaking of the faith decision of a child.
I think it is wise on our parts to take ongoing opportunities to interact with them and wait for evidence of a LASTING COMMITMENT.
Even if the child can ‘say enough’ to make it reasonably clear that they understand and that they embrace the gospel,
I do think there is something to say for waiting on baptism until we as parents see evidence of regeneration that is independent from our control.
Now, there can be a great argument from someone saying, well Pastor… we see there being urgency in scripture for baptism in Acts 8 and other parts of scripture that shows regeneration taking place and baptism following.
This is good, and this is biblical.
NAd I would understand that argument.
Though, I think that in the case of children… especially when scripture itself tells us that children tend to be immature. (1 Cor. 13:11; 14:20). Naive (Prov. 1:4). Foolish (Prov. 22:15).
When considering these things, I think it’s best to be patient with the ordinance in believers baptism rather than to rush it.
I also think it’s important to remind us that no part of us going under that water saves us.
That is not where our salvation lies…
And again, not giving a age here. Nor do I think I should.
This is purely going to be on a case by case basis for the parent to see evidence of the professed faith of the child.
FOUNDATIONAL KEYS TO EVANGELIZING CHILDREN
FOUNDATIONAL KEYS TO EVANGELIZING CHILDREN
Now, a parent must not simply avoid pitfalls, being afraid to make a mistake in evangelizing our children.
We must also seek to put into practice these keys in their evangelism.
1. Setting a consistent example of Godliness
Evangelizing children doesn’t consist simply of verbalizing the gospel with one’s mouth, but also exemplifying it in one’s life.
Children have the unique opportunity to watch you (24/7), as you proclaim the gospel to them.
They will decide during that time whether they believe what you are teaching them or not.
When parents are faithful not only to proclaim, but also to live out the gospel, the impact is profound and reaches far beyond what you can imagine.
Now, what is the best example of the gospel that we have within the foundation of the family? MARRIAGE.
When thinking about evangelizing our children, we should consider our marriages.
Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church (Eph. 5:22-33), we see there in chapter five of Ephesians that the relationship between the parents as husband and wife is very significant.
( I want to take a bit of time here, our marriages SO OFTEN is the foundation on which evangelism to our children will be built.)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Paul begin’s with submission which is not the husbands to command but for the wife to willingly and lovingly offer.
This is in no way downgrading the value of women as some have tried to articulate this… this is foundationally submitting to the ordained roles given from our Lord.
I see a woman biblically as somebody who is equal to me as a man in dignity, value, and worth.
I see a woman as having been gifted in ways I cannot even touch.
My wife is not my subordinate; she is my helpmate that I need because I'm not good enough. God placed her in my life to help bring Him glory and honor in fulfilling the great commission.
The Spirit filled wife recognizes that her husbands roles in giving leadership is not only God-ordained but also a reflection of Christ’ own loving, authoritative headship of the church.
Paul has much more to say to the man who has been placed in the role of authority within marriage.
Men… listen up here.
Husbands, are to love their wives with the same sacrificial love that Christ has for His church. To the point of giving up his own life.
In this… we are to be playing a part in sanctifying, cleansing, making our wives holy and without blemish.
And this is all by the agency of GOD’S WORD.
How long has it been husbands… sense you dwelt on this commandment?
Dwell on this husbands.
Be intentional about this… how can I best present my wife to the Lord one day? As Without blemish?
Parents… you want to begin evangelizing your child… begin with living out the gospel in your marriage.
Husbands… this is on you to lead in.
2. Preparing our children for the Gospel through Discipline & Compassion
It all wraps around this reality:
Your son or daughter, that beautiful bundle of joy that you held in your hands at birth, is made in God’s image and precious to God.
AT THE SAME TIME, this beautiful little child has a heart that is sinful, bent away from God. They are on a trajectory of death, wanting to go their own way. They do not want anyone to rule them, not you, not their teachers, and certainly not God. Left alone on their own way, they will disgrace you. (Proverbs 29:16)
16 When the wicked increase, transgression increases, but the righteous will look upon their downfall.
God tells us that in order to prepare our children for the Gospel, discipline must be a reality in their lives.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
God gives us assurance that when we discipline our children, we are actually saving their souls from Sheol, or death.
Discipline, God says, is one means He uses to save a child’s soul from the trajectory of hell.
Here’s the main argument here…
As parents, we have real God-given authority. Our authority is a delegation of God’s authority. For the sake of our small children, we literally stand in the place of our Heavenly Father. To disobey us, is to disobey God.
If we are not correcting their disobedience and if we look lightly upon it, then we are, in fact, training them to disobey us.
By neglect of discipling our children, we are actually training our children to develop a character that will disobey God.
R.C. Ryle said this…
“You must not wonder that men refuse to obey their Father which is in heaven, if you allow them, when children, to disobey their father who is upon earth.”
It is easy as adults to sometimes think that we are discipling our children to be good people, to have some peace and quiet, or so that they don’t end up in a gang somewhere or in jail somewhere someday.
This is not why we discipline our children. We discipline our children to say “YES” to you so that later they will find it easier to say “YES, I WILL FOLLOW YOU” to their Heavenly Father.
Something that I believe wholeheartedly is that Discipleship begins before conversion. And this is especially true within the evangelism of our children.
A reality that is present that is not always thought about is that children learn to relate to God by relating to us.
When they are young, they are developing habits of relating to authority, their friends and their toys. When they are older, those habits will influence how they interact with authorities, future friends, church members, spouses, and possessions.
In this… there is this sense where we do not want to misrepresent God with too little correction.
A parent must be careful when we want to fall into this way of parenting where you are afraid to say no or set boundaries.
This is a “want to be friends” mentality that must not be entertained.
Unfortunately, this is a view grounded in a wrong view of God, authority and discipline.
7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
We must turn our eyes to a right view of discipline.
Appropriate, corrective discipline rescues our children from their natural self centeredness.
Discipline is a means of facing a soul toward God. It is a positive corrective to walk right with God.
Jesus said,
19 As many as I love, I rebuke and discipline. So be zealous and repent.
This is radical. This is countercultural. This is completely biblical.
NOW, although I am called to discipline my children and point their souls away from Sheol and to the Lord.
In this, let us have some balance.
We receive these children as a gift and blessing from God (Psalm 127:3)
As I imitate God in leading my children. They should also be very aware of my affection and compassion.
There should be balance between discipling our children, but also doing everything we can to connect to the heart of our children in a way that they feel our affection.
I read where one parent described parenting as a “gracious, benevolent, kind hearted, self-denying dictatorship.
Let us not overlook the GRACIOUS, BENEVOLENT, KIND HEARTED, SELF DENYING aspect of that.
THE GOSEL
Here’s the thing parents, is that discipline gives a perfect chance to apply the gospel.
A primary discipleship objective is teaching our children to live under our rule.
We are rescuing them from undisciplined self law where they do what they want to do.
We are moving them to the blessing of living under our law and rules.
As they understand this glad submission, they are able to transfer this understanding to God.
When our children break our law - and they will - we are then able to show them that we have to discipline them, because we love them.
Similarly, God’s law is higher than our family.
All of us have broken that law.
In light of this, we are thankful that Jesus has taken the punishment for us.
Not only has God forgiven our sin through our faith in Jesus, but He sent His Holy Spirit within us to help us obey.
DISCIPLINE IS DISCIPLESHIP IN ACTION.
Make discipline something you to as parents with eternity in mind.
3. Proclaim the complete Gospel
The heart of evangelism of course is the Gospel!
16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, first to the Jew, and also to the Greek.
15 and you know that from infancy you have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to give you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
It’s no surprise that a child’s comprehension can be limited.
And because of this reason, the temptation here for adults is to oversimplify the gospel message, abbreviating the gospel, downplaying it’s demands, or leaving out key aspects of the gospel altogether.
THIS COULD DEFINITELY BE ANOTHER PITFALL (OVERSIMPLIFICATION - And even mentioned by other Pastors)
Here’s a reality we must know as parents…
Like adults, children must be able to understand the gospel clearly before they can be saved.
Show them their need for a Savior and in doing so, point them to Jesus Christ, the only one who has the ability to save them through teaching them the whole of the Gospel.
Start from the beginning:
God,
creation,
fall,
Sin & consequences of sin,
God’s plan of redemption through a nation,
Christ and His life, death and resurrection,
Repentance & Faith and Salvation by grace through faith in the Lordship and Kingship of Jesus Christ.
And when the time is right. You sense that they may be ready… call them to repent and believe in the Good News.
If you have little children, I believe the Story Book Bible does a wonderful job of this…
as your children grow older, invite them to read scripture with you in your quiet times…
have family worship time for this purpose.
Be clear and thorough.
PUT THIS ON REPEAT… over and over again.
Remember Deut. 6:6-7
6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
DO ALL THIS WHILE BEING PRESENT.
Ted Trip in His book ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’ ask the question… “What are your goals for your child?” Some people want some sort of success for their child in sports, school, with business or money. Some people want their children well behaved, some want the American dream for their chid, and some people want their kid to be saved.” Some would say… what’s wrong with that?
He says, the problem with setting that as our mail goal… getting them saved… is that you end up circumventing the process that leads them there. Really what we should be teaching our kids is that they are made by God, for God, and for His glory. You set up God’s moral standard before them and they end up realizing with good guidance that they cannot keep that standard. That they can’t live for God’s glory the way that they are. Which then leads them to the cross.
It is the truth - found in God’s Word - that saves, but that truth must be understood.
Simply put, if a child is to repent and believe in Christ, then, it will be through the proclamation of the whole message of the cross
(1. Cor. 1:18-25; 2 Tim. 3:15; James 1:18; 1 Peter 1:23-25).
4. Understand the biblical evidences of Salvation
The evidence that someone has genuinely repented of their sin and believed in Christ is the same in a child as it is in an adult - spiritual transformation.
According to scripture, true believers
Follow Christ
27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.
Confess their sins
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Obey God’s Commands
3 This is how we know that we know him: if we keep his commands.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
Do the will of God
50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Abide in God’s Word
31 Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you continue in my word, you really are my disciples.
Keep God’s Word
6 “I have revealed your name to the people you gave me from the world. They were yours, you gave them to me, and they have kept your word.
Do good works
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.
Now, as any adult believer… will a child be near perfect on these works… no!
But, you know a tree by it’s fruit.
This is no different than with a child than a adult.
We have biblical evidence of salvation from God’s Word that we can apply to both adults as well as children.
5. Trust the absolute sovereignty of God
The greatest need of our children is to be born again.
Regeneration however is something WE CANNOT DO FOR THEM.
Genuine faith and repentance can only be granted by God who regenerates the heart.
Put simply, the new birth is the work of the Holy Spirit and Him alone.
8 The wind blows where it pleases, and you hear its sound, but you don’t know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
.The salvation of children, then cannot be produced by the faithfulness or diligence of parents, but only by the sovereign work of God Himself.
This should bring comfort parents! And motivate us!
All I must be is faithful to sharing with my children His Word and by God’s grace and grace alone will He take hold of my daughter’s hearts.
Trust in His sovereignty.
