Unmet Expectations

Josh Herrera

Home Improvement • Sermon • Submitted 4 months ago • Presented 4 months ago

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Transcript

Greeting

We are so excited to kick off this brand new series we are calling Home Improvement. I believe that this series is going to greatly impact you. It’s going to impact your marriage. It’s going to make a difference in the way you parent. And, when those things find their place in your home, your children are going to thrive.

How many of you believe that today?

So what am will ask of this room right now is that we elevate our expectation. Often times God meets us according to our expectation.

So many times in the Bible Jesus said , “Let it be according to your faith.” So let’s have faith for more. Let’s have expectation that today is a new day, and that we are leaving in a new way.

So go with me to two passages of scripture. Let’s start in Deuteronomy 6.

Reading

Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:4–9)

When your son asks you in time to come, “What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?” then you shall say to your son, “We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give our fathers.” (Deut. 6:20–23)

Unmet Expectations Introduction

For years I have listened to a sports talk radio program. As a result, my kids have also listened to this radio program. I am convinced that they will grow up and remember it well into their adulthood since they have heard this man’s voice for so many days of their life.

And he has this saying that sounds like it belongs in the book of Proverbs, and it goes like this: Happiness is the result of expectations.

I saw that play out just yesterday while watching the Olympics. It was the 4 x 400 Mixed Relay, and the expectation was that the Americans would win. They expected nothing less than gold.

Unfortunately, at the very last 50 meters the final runner for the Netherlands overcame the American runner and they had to settle for silver.

Oh the look on their faces…

Why?

Because they expected Gold. They settled for Silver.

And when you saw the team that won the Bronze medal, they were so happy because they didn’t even think they’d medal, and yet there they were with a Bronze!

You see, it is all about expectations.

Transition

And today that is what I want to talk to you about in the first part of our series. What are your expectations as a parent and how is that affecting your emotional well-being And your feelings?

Owner or Ambassador?

I want to start by giving you something to consider when you think about your role as a parent.

Many parents are leading their home, and they are parenting their children with an Owner Mindset.

We wouldn’t use those words, and it’s probably not how we define our parenting style, but there is a deep seeded belief that “these kids belong to me, and I can parent them anyway that I see fit.”

Again, we may not use these words, and we don’t say this outloud, but this is our approach to parenting.

We are making hundreds of parenting decisions every single day to the point that it is mostly subconscious.

What our kids wear, what they eat for lunch, who they go to school with, the activities they are involved in, the friends they hang out with, how much screen time they get, how much study they have to do, club sports, church, hobbies, dinner, and the list goes on and on.

All of these things require your decision as the parent. And here is the reality of parenting.

Parenting is small daily choices with the potential for large eternal consequence.

And with that, we have to ask ourselves, am I parenting like an owner?

Parenting like an owner is shaped by what we want for, and what we want from our children.

It is a vision, driven by what we want our children to be and what we want our children to give us in return.

Now, on the surface, this might feel like this is totally appropriate. As a matter of fact, there are times when I meet parents and children and I wish Mom and Dad would take a little more ownership of their children. In some cases, a lot more ownership of their children.

But this view of parenting is subtly absent of a Biblical view of parenting.

You see this view of parenting might work for someone who does not know God, who does not have the gospel, and is trying to do their best in the world they live in absent of a Biblical world-view.

[Transition]

So let me contrast that with what I believe is a more appropraite view of how we should parent and the role that we should take.

Let’s start by reading a Psalm.

Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

Children are a gift from the Lord;

they are a reward from him.

Our children were created by God, and they belong to God. They are God’s possession, for His purpose.

God entrusts His children to us to parent, and a better role for us parents is to assume the role of an ambassador.

Ambassadors are intermediaries. They are not in charge, but they act on behalf of the one who is in charge.

How do you function as an ambassador?

We are to faithfully represent the message, methods, and character of the leader who has sent him.

Ok, so who is the one who sent us?

Whose Kingdom is it?

Who is our Lord and Savior?

So as a parent we surrender what we want for our kids to what He wants for our kids.

Parenting like an ambassador is about what God in grace has planned to do through us in our children.

If we can make this shift together, we will start to examine everything that we do as parents.

We’re going to have to ask ourselves, am I representing Jesus in how I handled this situation?

Did the way that I talked to my child when they fell short look like grace, or did it look like judgment?

When my kid needed my attention, was I present with them or was I bothered that they were taking my attention off the show I was watching.

Does my home embody the beautiful message of the gospel?

You Got This!

I know that some of you may be terrified to hear this because you are still learning about God. You are learning about Jesus. You are still learning how to read your Bible.

I want to just tell you parents right now that you got this!

How can I say that? Becuase parenting is a calling, and God called you to parent the children that He has given you.

Your children could have gone to any person on this planet, but God chose you. He hand-selected you out of billions of people because He knows that you have what it takes to get the job done.

This is why the first thing that all of you need to do here in this room is to begin to a healthy and growing relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus.

We want to be at our best, so that we can bring our best to our children.

We are the tool God uses to form the soul of our children.

The Heart of the Gospel

Now this shouldn’t terrify you, this should open your eyes. And the best news of all is that we can have a Biblical view of parenting because I believe that parents are near the heart of the Gospel.

I want to take you back to our verses that we read and show you what God asks of us as parents.

Let’s stop there… Parents, you need to love the Lord your God will all your heart. All your soul. All your might. We have parents trying to get by only loving God with half their hearts. With half their soul. With half their might. But, what would happen if we were fully devoted followers of Jesus, growing in the grace of God, being rooted in His endless love for us? That’s the call. That’s the expectation for us Mom and Dad. And when we do this, we are better positioned to do this:

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Here it is… parents it is our job to teach them! It’s our job to train our children and to raise them up to know God and to serve God and to do His will for their life.

Your church was not designed to replace you, but to assist and equip you for this essential work.

Your government was never designed to replace you, but to protect you as you do this core work.

Their school will never replace you; at the very best it will support you as you do the work that only you can do.

But make no mistake Mom and Dad, it is your responsibility!

Now, can I talk to the kids in the room for a moment. I’ve been talking to your Mom and Dad a whole lot right now. I hope you’ve been paying attention.

The best thing that you can do is to become like a disciple to your parents. Ask your parents questions about the Bible. Ask your parents to read the Bible with you, and to pray with you. Ask your parents to share with you their favorite sermons. When your parents ask you how Youth Group was, don’t just say, “good”. They want to engage with you. They want to understand you. Most importantly, they want to be active in your spiritual formation.

Conclusion

[Transition]

Let’s keep reading our verses together again...

There’s going to come a time when you will have to unpack your values to your children. When your children are young, you can simply say things like, We honor people because that’s what Herrera’s do! And that’s great. It’s repetition. It’s formation. It’s necessary. We become what we repeatedly say about ourselves.

But there will come a day when you are going to have to tell your children the meaning of what we do.

It won’t be enough to simply give them the mantra or the language, but you have to tell them why. And I love that God commissions parents to be the ones to tell them about the goodness of God.

When your son asks, “Dad, why do we go to church on Sundays?” We can tell our children that we give to God the very first day of the week because HE is our priority. We refuse to start our week any other way than to be worshipping in the house of Lord, and in the community of our church.

When your daughter asks, “Mom, why do we give our hard earned money to the church?” We can tell our children the story that everything we have belongs to God. The earth is the Lord’s. He gives us a portion to steward and we know that the best thing that we can do is to bring to the house the very first of what He has so generously given to us. We’ll tell the story of when we gave and miraculously money appeared, and doors were opened, and you got a job that you weren’t qualified for and a promotion and raise when no one else was getting one. You’ll tell the story that when you built God’s house, he built your house!

The writer says, we will tell our children of how we once were slaves in Egypt, but God brought us out!

Some of you parents will need to share with your children how you were slaves to sin. You had no self control. You made mistakes and you hurt people. But then God came into your life one day and EVERYTHING CHANGED.

This is the gospel!

This is our King!

This is His Kingdom!

And we are His ambassadors.

The most important thing that a child could ever learn about is the existence, character, and plan of God.

If we have done this one thing, we will have done everything.

Call

There are some of you in here that feel like this is a lot to take in. You don’t feel qualified to be an Ambassador at home. You think that maybe your past is holding you hostage from your future.