Proverbs 13 Verse 24 Positive Results of Biblical Discipline

Proverbs 13 Verse 24 Positive Results of Biblical Discipline

August 18, 2024 Lesson 7 The Search for Wisdom

Class Presentation Notes AAAAA

Background Scriptures:

· Proverbs 3:11-12 (NKJV) 11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

· Proverbs 3:28 (NKJV) 28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Go, and come back, And tomorrow I will give it,"When you have it with you.

· Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV) 15 Foolishness isbound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

· Proverbs 23:13-14 (NKJV) 13 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.

· Colossians 3:21 (NKJV) 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Main Idea:

· God loves us unconditionally yet sometimes He has to punish His children. The same is true for us and our children.

Study Aim:

· To understand that when you teach a child that they will be held accountable to you for their actions, you are also teaching them they will be held accountable to a higher authority…God. Discuss before moving on!

Create Interest:

· Verses 24–25 and 14:1–4 speak of various home scenes. A loving parent inflicts temporary discomfort on his children (by spanking with a rod) to spare them the long-range disaster of an undisciplined life. Refusal to disciplineone’s child when he needs it shows that a parent’s genuine love and concern are questionable. Other verses in Proverbs on child discipline are 19:18; 22:15; 23:13–14; 29:15, 17. God also disciplines His own (cf. 3:11–12; Heb. 12:6).[1]

· As contemporary readers read this previous statement, I can only imagine the number of different emotions that are invoked and I join you in those. The closer we are linked to parents who were in “the Greatest Generation”, i.e. who were raised in the depression and fought in/lived through WWII, the more we look at the understanding those folks had about the subject. As we move toward today, the view point changes and softens and often becomes blurred to almost reversal of sanity in raising children.

· Perhaps as we explore this subject considering God’s love for his “children”/us, we will be enlightened and broadened in our understanding of why He inspired Solomon to include this subject in his work😊.

Lesson in Historical Context:

· If we take such sayings in Proverbs as commandments like ones from the Torah, we will also beat stupid people, mockers, and impure people (19:25; 20:30; 26:3), cut off the tongues of treacherous people (10:31), conscript lazy people (12:24), cast lots to resolve disputes (18:18), and slice our throats if our appetites are too large (23:2).

· In other words, many sayings in Proverbs look as if they are figurative and hyperbolic, like Jesus’ exhortation to gouge out your eye (or for that matter the Torah’s own saying about an eye for an eye). Further, in passages such as Proverbs 1 the Hebrew words for “discipline” or “correction” often refer to instruction. They don’t always suggest physical chastisement, even metaphorically.

· It’s also significant that other sayings about disciplining a son (e.g., in Proverbs 22) describe him as a youth. While the term can be used for a small child, it more often refers to someone older, though unmarried.

· The word for a child as opposed to a youth never comes in Proverbs. Further, when the Old Testament elsewhere raises questions about discipline by parents and rebellion by their offspring, it concerns the relationship of parents to their grown-up children, such as Samson’s relationship with his parents or David’s with Amnon and Absalom.

· So, Proverbs is urging the middle-aged heads of households to get a grip on their teenage and young adult sons, not their four-year-olds.[2] But…………

o Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

· On a very disturbing but factual personal note: In my building career, I had the opportunity to build for a couple born and raised in Jerusalem and who legally immigrated to the U.S. In one of my conversations with them in 2002, they related going to a Palestinian training camp for young children where the children, starting at 4 years old, are taught to “hate” jews and to cut their throats with wooden knives. We are witnesses today that children from that camp would be 26 years old plus today. Could we apply this to the Proverbs Scripture here and be sadden that the camp was not identified as a Hamas camp but one to train Palestinian children as a general population (:

· A personal note that could be debated is that parental love from a parent to a child is displayed on many levels as the child grows. Loving them so much as to help them to know right from wrong, obedience from disobedience, as early as they the child has to ability to learn those concepts, saves much consternation later for both the parent and the child. Palestinians use 4 years old….No doubt each child is an individual and parents only can determine when and how to help the learning curve begin.

· And yes, this concept can be debated ad nauseum supported by countless views and 1000’s of parenting guidebooks.

· My recent viewing of humans above childhood age supporting Hamas terrorists, burning the American flag…after stealing it from a federal government flag pole, and defacing federal property/monuments, makes me wonder at what age, if any, the parents of those humanoids trained their children in the fine art of obedience and respect for others. Discuss!

Bible Study:

Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) 24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

· Loving parents (see 1:8; 10:1) seek to correct the faults of their children because,as the preceding unit showed, their children’s lives, favor, protection, healing, dignity, and prosperity are at stake.

o Proverbs 1:8-9 (NKJV) 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck.

o Proverbs 10:1 (NKJV) 1 The Proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

· Unloving parents turn their backs on them and hand them over to death, social ruin, public exposure, calamity, and shameful poverty (13:14–18).

o Proverbs 13:14-18 (NKJV) 14 The law of the wise isa fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death. 15 Good understanding gains favor, But the way of the unfaithful is hard. 16 Every prudent manacts with knowledge, But a fool lays open his folly. 17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble, But a faithful ambassador brings health. 18 Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.

· In short, as this subunit summarizes the matter, loving parents diligently seek their good; unloving parents show their hate by handing them over to evil.

· The proverb is based on several assumptions.

o First, that the home is the basic social unit for transmitting values (cf. Exod. 20:12).

o Second, that parents have absolute values, not merely valuations

o Third, that folly is bound up in the heart of the child (22:15; cf. Gen. 8:21).

o Fourth, “that it will take more than just words to dislodge it.”115

· The English proverb, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” is biblically based and has stood the test of history.116 (Take time to read the footnotes below).

· The biblical method of rearing is loving the child, which entails strict discipline and valuing him or her as a gift from God (4:3; 31:2).

· The New Testament teaching does not abrogate or supersede it and should not be abandoned in the church as unfashionable (cf. Eph. 6:4; Heb. 12:5–11) or explained away as culturally conditioned. “A hard way to wisdom is better than a soft way to death.”117

· The failure of the apostate Western world to continue the biblical practice has left its civilization in moral chaos, and parents now hate what they see: “his end will be that he will hate his son, for he will see him, in the end, going forth to evil deeds.”118[3]

· Early childhood teaching requires both parental discipline, including corporal punishment (cf. 10:13; 19:18; 22:15; 29:15, 17), and balanced kindness and love. There is great hope that the use of the “divine ordinance” of the rod will produce godly virtue (cf. 23:13, 14) and parental joy (cf. 10:1; 15:20; 17:21; 23:15, 16, 24, 25; 28:7; 29:1, 15, 17).

o Such discipline must have the right motivation (Heb. 12:5–11) and appropriate severity.

§ Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

o One who has genuine affection for his child, but withholds corporal punishment, will produce the same kind of child as a parent who hates his offspring.[4]

Note: This is an excellent point in this very contemporary controversial issue in rearing children to pause and let thoughts from the class be shared. In each case I think it is incumbent on the speaker to give their reasons and back up for their reasons in the sharing. I strongly encourage the members present to listen intently, respectfully and to wait until their turn to speak is acknowledged to say anything.

Thoughts to share to summarize the work to this point

· Loving parents discipline their children for their children’s sake, to help them live righteously. The method of discipline prescribed in this proverb is corporal punishment, that is, spanking.

o Although it goes against the modern thinking of many societies, the Word of God is unmistakably clear that spanking is a necessary and effective method of disciplining children. This proverb applies to both parents and children:

§ It applies to parentswho are taken in by the philosophy that mothers and fathers who love their children do not hit them. The scriptural discipline of spanking is not hitting.

§ It applies to childrenwho are tempted to think that their parents hate them because they spank them.

· God’s Word corrects both: parents who love their children discipline them promptly and appropriately, and, when necessary, they gently but firmly spank them and explain the reason why.

o Scripture suggests that parents who fail to discipline their children are actually demonstrating hate for them.[5]

Let move on with some global thoughts

· To train your children in wisdom is to correct them. You do not punish your children simply for the sake of punishing them.

o Discipline is about correction—putting them on the right path. That means instruction must accompany discipline.

§ Proverbs 29:15-18 (NKJV) 15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. 16 When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases; But the righteous will see their fall. 17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul. 18 Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law.

· Some people falsely think, “I just love my children too much to discipline them.”

o However, if you do not discipline your children, it is because you do not really love them.

· In fact, Proverbs says that you hate them (13:24).

· We must correct our kids because discipline is an evangelism mission to rescue our kids from hell. Proverbs 23:13–14 says, “Don’t withhold discipline from a youth; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod, and you will rescue his life from Sheol.”

o Kids are sinful at heart and left to themselves they will walk to destruction. It is not loving to be their buddy and let them make their own choices as they march off toward hell.

o You must start young with discipline. There is a temptation to give in during the early years for the sake of peace, but you must fight against that temptation.

· Correction is a gospel issue. You teach them what sin is, that it has consequences, that they will be held accountable, and that it needs to be repented of.

o If you do not correct them, they will start to think that evil is good.

· How do you correct them? Well, Proverbs clearly calls for spanking.

o If that upsets you, send your e-mails to Solomon not us because it is all over Proverbs, no matter how out of step with the culture it might seem.

o Example: We all understand this principle when it comes to working out. You discipline your body—introducing a little pain—in order to make it healthier. The same is true with spanking.

§ It is not detrimental if done properly. In fact, there are studies that show adults who were spanked as children have a sunnier outlook on life and are more successful (Baklinski, “Young Children”).

§ You should never spank out of anger or because the child simply is not doing what you want them to do—that’s called abuse.

§ You should not spank for childish accidents like spilling milk.

§ But you should spank for outright defiance, dishonesty, or rebellion.

· Do it in private so as not to embarrass your child and so you can talk—have a teachable moment.

So how does this issue relate to our gospel conversation with others?

· This is an important moment for a gospel conversation.

o Tell them what they did or did not do.

o Secure an acknowledgement that they know why they are getting a spanking.

o Tell them you love them no matter what, and that your love for them is not determined by their behavior.

§ Hug them afterward and tell them that you are a sinner too who understands the need for forgiveness.

§ That is why you are thankful for Jesus because you have done similar things to what they just did, and you are glad Jesus has forgiven you.

o Note:………………………………………………………..

§ Spanking should wait until the child is old enough to understand expectations and can start responding to directions.

· Proverbs also seems to call for an adjustment of correction as the child gets older. Proverb 29:15 states, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (ESV).

o As the child gets older, a rebuke (or restriction) should be enough to correct the behavior. Words are always part of the correction process.

· Finally, here is some practical advice: Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to correction so that your children cannot play one against another.

o Give a big playing field and don’t be too legalistic, otherwise you won’t be consistent in your discipline, and you have to be!

Conclusion

· The “Big Key” to having a happy home is to introduce your children to a Parent whose love is truly unconditional and unchanging—God the Father.

· And you need His unconditional love as well because you will fail as a parent without it.

· You will not do everything perfectly. But you serve a God who can make all things new! It’s not too late!

o Start building a happy home today through the Wisdom of God!

Reflect and Discuss

1. Why do you think there are so many unhappy homes in one of the wealthiest countries in the history of the world?

2. Where do we often look for tips on how to order our families?

3. How can you prioritize your children over work? Name some very concrete ways.

4. In what ways can going through the motions religiously have a negative impact on your family?

5. What are some practical ways you can introduce your children to Jesus?

6. In what ways have you noticed your children observing and critiquing your example?

7. How do you usually respond when your kids ask you uncomfortable questions?

8. How can you keep your antenna up for important conversations with your children?

9. In what ways can you lovingly correct your children through discipline?

10. Why do you think we are tempted to not discipline our children? Why is that dangerous?[6]

[1]Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 934. [2]John Goldingay, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs for Everyone, Old Testament for Everyone (Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press; Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, 2014), 58–59. 115 Kidner, Proverbs,p. 51. Footnotes worthy of sharing in our research on discipline😊 116 In Egypt the word for “to rear” is accompanied with a determinative of a man holding a rod (N. Shupak, “Egyptian Terms and Features in Biblical Hebrew,” Tar 54 [1984/85] 475–83; [1984/85] 107). In Papyrus Lansing, a school manuscript of the New Empire (1554–1080 b.c.), the student says to his teacher, “I grew up as a child by being at your side; you struck me on my back, and this was how your teaching entered into my heart” (H. Brunner, Altägyptische Erziehung [Wiesbaden: Otto Harrassowitz, 1957], pp. 174–76). In Papyrus Anastasi III, the pupil warned, “A boy’s ear is upon his back, he hearkens to his beater” (Shupak, “Egyptian Terms,” p. 110). Ahikar (ca. 700 b.c.), who officiated in the Assyrian court about 700 b.c., says, “Withhold not thy son from the rod, else thou wilt not save [him from wickedness]. If I smite thee, my son, thou wilt not die, but if I leave thee to thine own heart [thou wilt not live]” (ANET,p. 428, lines 81–82). See also Sir. 30:1–2, 11–13. In both biblical and Egyptian wisdom literature the objects of flogging are the youth (22:15; 23:13), the son (13:24), the mocker (19:25), the fool (17:10; 26:3), and the senseless (10:13). 117 Kidner, Proverbs,p. 51. 118 Rashi, Proverbs,p. 76. [3]Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 1–15, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2004), 574–575. [4]John F. MacArthur Jr., The MacArthur Bible Commentary (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005), Pr 13:24. [5]Leadership Ministries Worldwide, Proverbs, The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible (Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide, 2012), 210. [6]Jonathan Akin, Exalting Jesus in Proverbs, ed. David Platt, Daniel L. Akin, and Tony Merida, Christ-Centered Exposition Commentary (Nashville, TN: Holman Reference, 2017), 188–191.