Learning to Lament: Choosing to Trust

Notes
Transcript
What is the end goal of the prayer of lament? This is a very important questions because this is the question that brings true hope and grace to our grief and pain.
This is the question that makes prayers of lament Christian. Every lament prayer is a prayer of faith. It is a prayer only the Christian can make. And therefore, lament prayers access the grace and mercy and help that God so richly offers his children and thus leads to hope.
But, we have to complete the journey of our prayer of lament. If we don’t follow through with this last step in the prayer we miss the mark. We get stuck and we find no really God intended grace for dealing with out pain. We must carefully consider this final and perhaps most important step in lament.
Four Key Elements of Biblical Lament
Turn
Complain
Ask
Trust
Choosing to put our trust in Almighty God is the final destination in all our lament prayers. If we don’t end up here then we miss out on the God intended blessing of lament.
How does this final step of lament— choosing to trust— how does this step bring healing to our pain and our grief?
To answer this question we are going to follow the four steps of lament using Psalm 13. We will walk the various stages of this prayer with David and at the end discover the final destination of lament. And when we get there we will be able to better understand how biblical lament bring healing to our pain and our grief.

Lament begins by turning to God in prayer (1-2)

When you are in pain, when you are struggling in grief, a lot of the time you want to be left alone. You don’t feel like talking to anyone. You don’t feel like being with anyone. You just want to be alone. The beginning of the path of lament is turning from isolation and turning to God in prayer. Especially, when you don’t feel like it.
Think about how David was feeling when he begins his prayer of lament in vv. 1-2.
Psalm 13:1–2 ESV
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Psalm 13:1–2 (ESV)
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Lit. the Hebrew means “until when?”
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
4x’s in 2 verses. And for each sentence the words “How Long?” are placed at the beginning showing their importance.
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
On top of that just think about the first question!
Psalm 13:1 (ESV)
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
That’s not even a complete sentence! David is in such pain and anguish, his emotions are so extreme that all he can do is begin praying. He turns to God and cries out “How long, O Lord?”
How long do you think David had been suffering at the hands of his enemies? How long had David been carrying his grief.
It’s one thing to endure something for a day. Anyone can do that. How many of us have tried going on a diet? Anyone can go on a diet for one day. That’s not hard. But a month, two, thee, a year? That is when we quit, we break down, we get tired.
That is where David is in his grief and pain. To him it seems like he had been carrying his grief forever. All day long every day. When we experience extended grief like that we tend to get angry and bitter at God. We tend to clam up and go silent. David is modeling the first Biblical step on the pathway of dealing with pain- turning to God in prayer! When we are weary and exhausted, when we are emotionally strained, when we are angry and bitter- the first step toward healing is to turn to God and pray.
How many of you need to turn to God today? How many of you have gone silent? How many of you are angry with God? Will you humble yourself? Turn to God? And cry out to Him in prayer?
This is only the first step in our journey of lament. This is not the end, but the beginning our our journey. So let’s keep traveling down the path toward our final destination.

II. Lament continues by expressing godly complaint (1-2)

The prayer of lament is designed to move us to a resolution to a destination. It starts with turning, then it continues with complaint.
Psalm 13:1–2 ESV
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
In this lament the first two steps of lament are combined together— turning and complaint.
Notice David’s brutally honest complaints.
Will you forget me forever? What does David mean here? He is not thinking that God had undergone a loss of mental recollection. It is not like you or I who forget where we put our keys. God is not a man that He should forget. God knows all- He has all knowledge!
Elsewhere in Ps 139- David says that he can’t get away from God. Everywhere he goes God is there- if he ascends into heaven, God is there! If he makes his bed in the realm of the dead, God is there! God has not forgotten David in that sense of the word.
In the Scriptures when God remembers someone, it means that He acts on their behalf. When God forgets someone it means that he does not come to their aid.
Psalm 10:11–12 ESV
11 He says in his heart, “God has forgotten, he has hidden his face, he will never see it.” 12 Arise, O Lord; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.
Notice the parallel complaint.
Psalm 13:1–2 ESV
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Will you hide your face from me? What does that mean?
To forget meant that God was not coming to David’s aid. But for God to hide his face from David that was even worse. This means that God was withholding his favor from David.
Numbers 6:24–26 ESV
24 The Lord bless you and keep you; 25 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; 26 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
David’s complaint is that God was not making his face to shine upon him. God was withholding favor from him.
Psalm 13:2 ESV
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul? What does that mean?
Lit. How long must I take counsel within myself?
How many of you have done this? You have a problem in your life that you can’t solve. And the worst part is when you don’t have all the information yet to solve the problem. The worst is when it involves someone you love, like your kids. Have your kids every been really sick, so sick you have to go to the hospital. And when you get there the doctors have no idea what is wrong or how to help. So what do they do? They run tests. And there you are sitting in that hospital room at night, trying to sleep on those uncomfortable beds, wrestling with yourself, taking counsel with yourself, with your soul. But there is no solution. Every plan that you make seems doomed to fail.
So what happens?
How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? You wrestle with your soul, come up with no solution, and that leads to sorrow upon sorrow, in a never ending stream that goes on and on, day after day. That is where David is at. This is his brutally honest complaint to the Lord.
His last complaint tells us the source of his sorrows.
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
We are not told what enemy David is facing here. It could be Saul, it could be Absolom, or any other number of enemies that David faced. The point is that David has been under the domination of his enemies for a long long time. He is continually crying out to God, but God seems to have forgotten him, God had hidden his face from him. Because God was silent David was forced to come up with solutions to his own problems within his soul and none of them worked and that led to one plan after the other being a failure and that led to sorrow in his heart all the day.
This is a vital part of the lament process. Go to God with you griefs and complaints. In humility cast your cares upon the One who cares for you!
1 Peter 5:6–7 ESV
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Philippians 4:6 ESV
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
God wants us to bring him our burdens and our cares. He tells us to let every one of our requests be made know to Him. Bring God our honest and humble complaints is an important part of the process to dealing biblically with our pain and grief. But importantly it is not the end of the journey. It is not the end of the road, but merely a means to an end. If we stop here and only complain then we will never find the grace that God intends for us to have in our pain and grief.
So let’s keep traveling down the path toward our final destination.

III. Lament continues by making bold requests (3-4)

How many of you like roundabouts? What are the purpose of roundabouts? The purpose is to get your to your destination in hopefully a safe manner. You go in the roundabout, and you exit as soon as possible and continue on your way. What if you never left the roundabout? What if you entered and never exited? You just kept going round and round? That’s what laments become if we never move past the step of complaint. And many people get stuck here. And they are like cars in roundabouts that never get off. They just keep going round and round in circles and never get where they need to go.
If lament is to do its job we must move past complaint to bold requests.
Psalm 13:3–4 ESV
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
David make several requests in these two verses. And they are all imperatives! They are all commands! David commands God in these requests. Because they are in the context of prayers they are not normal commands, but these imperatives highlight the urgency of the request.
David is desperate for God’s help! And so he asks God boldly.
Consider Me!
This Hebrew imperative means “to gaze intently.” God gaze closely, gaze intently- look upon me, consider me!
This is in direct contrast to David’s complaint in v.1- God it seems like you have forgotten me, it seems like you have hidden your face from me. So now I ask you boldly—Consider me!
Answer Me!
Do you remember David’s complaint in v.2? How long must I take counsel in my soul? Why did David have to taken counsel within himself? Because God was not answering his prayers. So now David boldly prays—God, Answer Me!
Notice who David addresses his prayer to. O Lord my God. What names of God does he use? LORD? Yahweh. This is the personal and covenant name of God.
Did God ever make a covenant with David? What was it?
2 Samuel 7:16 ESV
16 And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever.’ ”
David’s bold prayer was based upon his faith in the faithful covenant keeping nature of God. Consider me! Answer me! O LORD God.
Psalm 13:3–4 ESV
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
Light up my eyes!
What does that mean?
There is an interesting account of Saul and Jonathan found in I Sam 14. In this account King Saul makes a rash vow. He lays an oath on the people that none of the soldiers in his army could eat until the evening when all of the Philistines had been defeated.
In the middle of the battle the Israelites come to a forest and discover some honey, but they don’t eat it—all except Jonathan.
1 Samuel 14:27 (ESV)
27 But Jonathan had not heard his father charge the people with the oath, so he put out the tip of the staff that was in his hand and dipped it in the honeycomb and put his hand to his mouth, and his eyes became bright.
What does that mean? Jonathan and the soldiers had been fighting for a while, they were tired, they were exhausted and worn out. Jonathan sees the honey, eats some and his dim, tired eyes become bright. In other words Jonathan put a massive amount of calories into his tired body and his energy and strength returned to him.
Listen to what else Jonathan says when he finds out about his father’s rash vow.
1 Samuel 14:29–30 ESV
29 Then Jonathan said, “My father has troubled the land. See how my eyes have become bright because I tasted a little of this honey. 30 How much better if the people had eaten freely today of the spoil of their enemies that they found. For now the defeat among the Philistines has not been great.”
So what does David mean when he asks God boldly in Ps 13?
Psalm 13:3–4 ESV
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
Light up my eyes? Revive my physical strength, give me energy to endure the foe, physical, spiritual, moral, emotional energy to keep going.
Notice the two reasons gives for these requests-
Lest I sleep the sleep of death- God, if you don’t intervene I am going to die.
Lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” Lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
Why would David’s enemies prevailing motivate God to answer him? David is a man after God’s own heart. David is a man of faith in God. For David’s enemies to triumph over him would be seen as a triumph over not just David, but David’s faith as well.
David made bold requests of the Lord— Consider me! Answer me! Light up my eyes!
This is an important part of the lament process! Move on from complaint to asking God to intervene for us. Asking God to do what only He can.
There are so many times in our lives when we are helpless to do anything on our own. My wife and I have experienced this especially in the parenting our children. I can’t tell you how many times I would have liked to change the heart of my child. If only they would see! If only they would understand and turn! If only they could learn the easy way instead of the hard way!
I have made many a complaint about my kids to the Lord! If you have been a parent for any amount of time you know exactly what I am talking about. But, I have also offered up many tearful prayers to the Lord asking Him to do in the heart of my children what I cannot hope to do on my own!
If we are going to deal biblically with our grief and pain then we must first turn to God in prayer, then offer him our brutally honest humble godly complaints, then we must ask God boldly to do what we cannot hope to do on our own. But, that is not the ultimate goal of the prayer of lament. There is still one final step in our journey if lament is going to have its God intended, grace infused power to help us in our pain and suffering.

IV. Lament ends by choosing to trust (5-6)

This is the ultimate end. This is the final destination of all lament prayers. Choosing to put our trust in the Lord.
Look how David does exactly that
Psalm 13:5–6 ESV
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
Here is the appropriate conclusion to the prayer of lament. David chooses to place his trust in the Lord.
Though it seemed like God had forgotten, hidden his face, refused to answer my prayers, allowed my enemies to be exalted over me … Though I have asked God boldly for his help … Consider me, answer me, light up my eyes …, though God has of yet to answer any of those prayers … even though all of that is true — BUT I have trusted in your stead fast love!
I love these very important and precious conjunctions. BUT I have trusted…
Last week we looked at a YET conjunction.
Psalm 22:3 ESV
3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
Let me share some more of these grace filled, trust ladened words with you.
Psalm 31:12 ESV
12 I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel.
Psalm 31:14 ESV
14 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”
Psalm 71:10–11 ESV
10 For my enemies speak concerning me; those who watch for my life consult together 11 and say, “God has forsaken him; pursue and seize him, for there is none to deliver him.”
Psalm 71:14 ESV
14 But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.
Psalm 86:14 ESV
14 O God, insolent men have risen up against me; a band of ruthless men seeks my life, and they do not set you before them.
Psalm 86:15 ESV
15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
This is what choosing to trust looks like!
Psalm 13:5–6 ESV
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
“Trust is believing what you know to be true even though the facts of suffering might call that belief into question.” — Mark Vroegop
David in these two verses makes three affirmations of trust
Psalm 13:5–6 (ESV)
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love.
What is David trusting in? God’s steadfast love.
steadfast love- חֶסֶד / loyal love. This is the Lord’s faithful covenant love for his people. Why did God love the Israelite people? Not because they deserved it! Why did God love David? Not because He deserved it. Because God in his grace choose them. And He made a covenant with them. And God keeps his word. This is what David chooses to trust- God’s loyal, faithful covenant love for his people.
Trust- present perfect nuance- I have trusted and continue to trust.
“Now don’t make the mistake of thinking that trust is something you decide once and for all as you are walking through pain. It’s not as if you pray one lament prayer, and you never need to lament again. Life isn’t that simple. Grief is not that tame. Instead, we must enter into lament over and over so that it can keep leading us to trust.” —Mark Vroegop
Illustration: Dealing with my worry over losing Sharon early on in our dating relationship.
Trust- present perfect nuance- I have trusted and continue to trust!
This is the power and intended grace of the prayer of lament. When done properly prayers of lament lead you again and again to keep choosing to trust the Lord. And that is a very powerful way to deal with any grief or pain you might have. You cannot bear it, but by choosing to trust God He will see you through.
William Cowper (1731-1800)
To biographers he is also known as "mad Cowper."
Struggled with sever bouts of depression. Ended up in an insane asylum for a time. And even attempted suicide.
You know some of his works of poetry already, “There is a fountain filled with blood” and “O for a Closer Walk with God”
He also wrote an incredible hymn in 1774 called “God Moves in a Mysterious Way”
1 God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants His footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm.
2 Deep in unfathomable mines of never-failing skill; He treasures up His bright designs, and works His sov'reign will.
3 Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.
4 Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace; behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.
5 His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour; the bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flow'r.
6 Blind unbelief is sure to err, and scan His work in vain; God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.
Let’s look at David’s second affirmation of trust in psalm 13
Psalm 13:5–6 (ESV)
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
In this second affirmation of trust by David he chooses to rejoice in God’s plan of redemption.
My heart shall rejoice in your salvation or deliverance. God has a wonderful plan of deliverance for His people. Time after time God has saved those who put their trust in him. God had a plan for saving David and God has a plan for saving you.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way when we are suffering. Suffering does not mean that God has forgotten you. Suffering doesn’t mean that God has rejected you. God has a long plan. There is a long arc to God’s plan of redemption. God’s plan for our salvation is always at work even when we can’t see it.
6 Blind unbelief is sure to err, and scan His work in vain; God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.
“Choosing to trust through lament requires that we rejoice without knowing how all the dots connect. We decided to let God be his own interpreter, trusting that somehow his gracious plan is being worked out—even if we can’t see it.” —Mark Vroegop
Illustration: Jeremy Hatch
2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV
16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:17 ESV
17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
We don’t understand suffering, but as believers we can rejoice in God’s salvation, in His long arc of deliverance.
2 Corinthians 4:18 ESV
18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
That’s what David’s prayer of lament caused him to do. He choose to trust in God’s loyal love, he choose to rejoice in the wonderful plan of God’s redemption.
Finally
Psalm 13:5–6 (ESV)
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
Here we finally reach the God intended end of the prayer of lament. David began with complaints and requests, but he ultimately ends with what? I will sing to the Lord! What do we call that? Worship! This is the intended end of the prayers of lament—faith-filled worship!
Now can you understand how this kind of prayer opens the flood gates to the grace of God and helps struggling believers deal with pain? If we can make the journey from turning, to complaining, to asking, to trusting which ultimately leads to worship what a boon that is for our weary souls!
Because God has dealt bountifully with me in the past I know He will do so again in the future, so by faith I choose to worship the Lord! I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. “Lament tunes the heart so it can sing about trust.” Mark Voegrop
Can you think of a famous hymn where the author allowed tragedy to turn his heart to worship?
Horatio Spafford wrote one of our most beloved hymns.
Spafford sent his wife Anna and four daughters ahead while Spafford was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic Ocean, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Earn, and all of Spafford's daughters died. Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …". Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to England to meet his grieving wife, Spafford was inspired to write these words as his ship passed the spot near where his four daughters had died.
When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, A song in the night, oh my soul!
It is well, With my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Spafford allowed his lament, his sorrow to turn his eyes upon Jesus, upon God wondrous plan of salvation. Spafford choose to trust God, and lament led him to its final destination faith-filled worship.
Friends, will you allow the biblical prayer of lament to help you deal with your pain and your grief?
Choosing to put our trust in Almighty God is the final destination in all our lament prayers. If we don’t end up here then we miss out on the God intended blessing of lament.
How? Pray the Scriptures- go home and pray Psalm 13. It’s only six verses. Memorize it and pray it, allow the words of Scripture to give voice to your prayers.
Find one of you fellow church members to pray with you. If you are discipling with someone, go to your disciple-er and ask them. Let them guide you through the prayer of lament. Let their faith-filled worship fuel your own soul.
I am not saying this will be easy or fast, but God’s grace is available for you. Go to him, use the biblical prayer of lament and find rest for your weary souls.
Related Media
See more
Related Sermons
See more