Offense & Anger

Intro

Good morning Church fam!

Over the past couple of months the Lord has been speaking to me about the spirit of offense.

Tell me if this scenario hits anyone like it did me.

You are driving down the road headed to Chico. You get to 99 and are turning right. Your blinker is on, you slow down, check to see if safe, and make the turn.

The guy behind who has been riding on your back bumper is still there. As you merge onto 99 there is a semi truck in front of you and you don’t want to get stuck behind him. You decided you want to get around him before the two lanes merge back down to one.

You put your blinker on. And the moment you start shifting lanes the guy who was riding your bumper speeds up, whips over to the next lane, and passes you, leaving you stuck behind the truck.

As he passes, you turn your head to give them “the look” of your disproval all while thinking this guy doesn’t like me and you are offended by this.

You say out loud, “Look at this guy! What does he think he is doing. What a jerk!”

The guy that past you doesn’t know you, doesn’t care, and it’s not affecting his day at all and now you are stewing in your vehicle as you try to take your kids school shopping because how dare they pass you like that! They saw the blinker. They ignored the blinker. They didn’t care that I was there first.

Can anyone relate?

This happened to me the other day. It’s crazy when God shares things with you, or puts a certain message on your heat, like being offended, all of a sudden you are more aware of it in your own life.

What if I told you that when it comes to being offended, you can choose not to go there?

What if I told you that you can choose to step out of the offense and live in the joy and peace that Jesus calls us to?

You can. And you will. But first there is some work to do.

First, let’s define it.

Offense, what is it?

The story I just shared with you happens more often than not. Maybe it is not while you are driving. Maybe it is something you seen on tv. Heard about in the news. Seen someone do or hear something someone said. Offense comes in many forms and it is waiting for the right moment to strike anyone it can.

To be offended means to feel hurt, upset, or angry because of something someone said or did that you find disrespectful, unfair, or insulting. It’s when you take something personally and it bothers you emotionally.

Just to be clear this morning, when I speak of offense or being offended, I am not referring to the Gospel offending people. The Gospel of Jesus is offensive. Those who are spiritually blinded will always be offended by the Gospel message.

When I speak of being offended today, I am speaking directly to the Christian. Those that follow Christ.

I am not speaking out of judgment or condemnation. I am speaking out of experience. I didn’t realize just how much I get offended by things and not really even know it.

It was affecting me. Scripture speaks about offense a lot.

Proverbs 19:11 NLT

11 Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

When someone is offended, they bought the lie that they have to live in it. When they live in it, there is no freedom.

Offense will build a fence around you.

You will not be able to live the abundant, joyful, peaceful, life that Jesus calls you to live, if you choose to live your life offended at everything.

In a culture that takes everything personally, we have allowed this same view to creep into the church world.

Just watch and listen to how Christians will respond come election time - you’re not saved if you vote this way, I’m offended.

Watch how Christians will respond come Christmas time - They didn’t say Merry Christmas, I’m offended.

Watch how Christians will respond come Easter - Egg hunts and giving out candy are the devil, I’m offended.

Just listen and watch Christians respond in offense in everyday life.

We say things like:

“I can’t believe they said that!”

“I can’t believe they did that!”

Why does the church get so shocked that the world acts like the world?

Why do we get so offended when people who are spiritually blinded, do not do godly things?

It is because we bought the lie that we NEED to be offended by everything.

Could it be that we get offended so easily, because we are impatient with the judgement of God?

So in our minds it’s justifiable judgement to be offended.

There is an issue with this mindset. It’s not biblical.

Being offended is a natural response. It is our human nature to be offended. But just like everything else in our human nature, it is flawed.

If it is flawed, then we must put to death the offense.

Romans 8:13 NASB95

13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Galatians 5:24 NASB95

24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

As Christians we are called to live and look more and more like Jesus. Being offended at everything that is not godly is not only un-bilbical, but it is un-Christlike.

I have not seen nor read one Scripture that says I have the right to be offended and hold onto offense.

Yes Jesus flipped tables. But he did so in the church.

Yes Jesus drew a line in the sand, well he wrote something, but again it was in front of the church.

My desire is to look more like Jesus. With Jesus comes freedom. With Jesus comes life, joy, and peace.

Offense leads to anger

When someone is offended by something, it is tied very closely to our emotions…especially anger.

But pastor, shouldn’t we be angry at all that is going on in the world?

Shouldn’t we be angry at those who don’t share the same view as us?

Shouldn’t we be angry at what they did at the Olympics, what they are trying to do in our schools, the laws they are trying to pass?

Sure. You can be angry. But you shouldn’t live there.

I would say that 10 times out of 10 when someone gets offended, they get angry.

Anger is an emotion. Anger is an emotion that God has given to us. And just like everything else in our life, if we do not submit it to God, it will bring death.

Just like we have to crucify other areas of our life, we must do the same with anger.

Ephesians 4:26 NASB95

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Ephesians 4:31 NASB95

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Anger cannot live in you.

At some point you have to let it go. At some point you have to put it to death.

The issue we face is, we don’t do this. When we don’t put to death our anger, it will lead to sin. Sin leads to death.

Anger, just like offense, is not part of the Fruit of the Spirit we are called to bear.

Galatians 5:17 NASB95

17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Paul goes on and lists out the fruit of the flesh.

Galatians 5:20 NASB95

20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,

As Christians, we are to walk in step with the Spirit of God, correct?

This means we take our offense (no matter what it is), we take our anger, and instead of lashing out at others, we take it to God.

Our flesh says to have outbursts of anger. Our flesh says, “share that meme”. Our flesh says lash out. But the Spirit of God says no.

I find myself in this situation everyday…I log into facebook, I see a post, I begin to respond. Sometimes I am obedient to the Spirit and delete it, sometimes I don’t.

I wonder how different our social media posts would be if we took what we read, or seen, or heard, and instead of being offended by it and responding in anger, or before we share a post, we take it to God?

Anger itself is not a sin, it is what we do with it.

Brant Hansen in his book UnOffendable writes this:

“Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves, and makes us others-centered. When we start living this way, it changes everything.” - Brant Hansen

Forgiveness

When I stop allowing my anger to take up residence, I can start forgiving those around me.

You see, not only does the Word of God tell us to not be angry, but it also says that we are to forgive others.

Matthew 18:21–22 NASB95

21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary, citing Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them.

What Jesus was implying wasn’t a particular number of forgiveness, but unlimited forgiveness according to the grace of God.

Jesus continues with a story of king who wanted to settle the accounts of his slaves. One of them couldn’t repay the debt of $3.4 Billion dollars today. The king demanded his wife and kids be sold in order to cover the debt. The slave fell to his knees and pleaded before the king asking for more time. The king felt compassion and released him.

The slave went to one of his fellow slaves who owed him around $5,800 and demanded payment. His fellow slave couldn’t repay and asked for the same time frame for repayment. Only this slave showed no mercy and through the slave in prison.

The king who forgave the slave for the larger debt through him in prison to be tortured.

Jesus closes the story with:

Matthew 18:35 NASB95

35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

Here is what we do not understand about forgiving others that we need to grasp today.

Whatever has been done to me or anyone else, I stand just as guilty.

People have lied to me. I have lied to others.

People have judged me. I have judged others.

People have stolen from me. I have stolen from others.

People have slandered me. I have slandered others.

People have hurt me. I have hurt others.

I get angry towards those who have done unspeakable things like taking the life of others.

But pastor, I never murdered anyone!

Have you ever hated someone?

Matthew 5:21–22 NASB95

21 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ 22 “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

1 John 3:15 NASB95

15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

You see, when you lack un-forgiveness, we think people are worse than we are. When in fact we stand just as guilty.

Go back to my driving experience at the beginning. As the guy was passing I thought, “That guy is an idiot.”

I have done what he has done to me the other day. As I drive past the guy with his blinker on driving slow because of the truck in front of him I think the same thing, “That guy is an idiot.”

In our minds, everyone is an idiot except me. Go me! I am AWESOME!

It is my choice to allow anger to take up residence in my heart when the offense comes.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 NASB95

9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.

Sure you can allow anger to take up residence, but the Scripture says you are foolish for doing so.

It’s foolish because you stand just as guilty receiving forgiveness but never offering any.

I see so many Christians in our anger driven culture offended by the sins of others when we stand just as guilty.

What if we as Christians weren’t offended about everything?

Better yet, what if we were just as offended by our own sin as we are others? Maybe we would put down the porn, anger, hatred, addictions, gossiping, unforgiveness, bitterness, ect. and pick up love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy.

Maybe the church wouldn’t be known for what it is against and what it is for. Maybe, maybe the church will be the church and represent Christ the way we are supposed to.

Just a thought.

Be An Artist

So how do we do this? How can we choose to be un-offended in such an offensive culture?

First it will take practice.

Since God started speaking to me about this subject I noticed how much I view everyone as a jerk when I am driving and I need to teach them how to drive. This is not offense driving, this is driving with an offence.

While I am not perfect at it, I am getting better. The Lord is still working on me. So if Jesus is still working on pastor, there is definitely hope for you as well.

Secondly, be an artist. An artist will look at a blank canvas and see what it can be.

Living in offence will distort/obscure your vision. When we remove the offence, we can see people as God see them.

I want to share a snippet from a book I am reading about offense.

“I once worked part-time as a baseball announcer for minor-league teams and, occasionally, during March, for major-league spring-training games.

I was the guy they’d call to fill in for a friend of mine named John, who’s an absolutely brilliant announcer, and a very well-known radio pro too.

John is a class act. He arrives at each game impeccably dressed, highly organized, and briefcase in hand. That’s how he rolls. He’s polished. He’s polite. He’s clean. He’s smooth. He’s successful. He’s also a professing Christian.

Seated next to John at each game is his polar opposite in the behavior department. Bill (I changed the name here) is a grizzled former player whose life has taken some twists and turns for the worst. He’s boisterous and foul. His language is remarkably crude. Pornographic, even. He’s very tough to take.

As I worked with Bill, filling in for John, I wondered, Wow! How does John, who’s even more take-charge, blunt, and straitlaced than I am, deal with this guy? And it’s night in, night out. I can’t imagine how he handles this. When profane Bill found out I was friends with buttoned-down John, he gave me my answer.

I braced myself.

I’ll leave the profanity out, but it went something like this:

“You’re friends with John, really?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You know what? I got something to say about that guy. That guy, John, is . . .” He paused. Then, momentarily, he continued: “A couple of weeks ago, you know what he did? He brought in a plaque he had made for me. It was the magazine cover from back in the day, me and my teammates. He had an original cover put on the plaque, and he gave it to me to honor me.”

Bill was actually tearing up.

“You know what?” he went on.

“That guy is really good to me. And he just treats everyone the same up here. All of us the same. The interns, me, the stadium manager, everybody. He just treats us all like he loves us.”

Several seconds passed before he finally concluded, “I still can’t believe he did that for me.” - Brant Hansen

The flesh in us as I am sure as it was in John, would want to tell this guy to shut up and tell them we found what he was saying offensive.

What if instead of being offended by those who do not know Jesus, therefore do not act nor speak like Jesus, we view them like an artist would a blank canvas?

You know, view people as what they could be if they knew Jesus. See their potential. See who they could and should be in Christ Jesus. You know, see them how someone who once seen you before you started following Jesus.

Remember, what people have done or are doing we have done it too. And yet somebody loved us enough beyond the offensive lifestyle we were living and shared the Good News of Jesus with us.

What if instead of being offended and angry at people who do not know what they do, we put into practice Romans 4:17.

Romans 4:16–17 NASB95

16 For this reason it is by faith, in order that it may be in accordance with grace, so that the promise will be guaranteed to all the descendants, not only to those who are of the Law, but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, 17 (as it is written, “A father of many nations have I made you”) in the presence of Him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist.

My friends, we should not live in offence, instead we should look at the world around us, look at our communities around us and call into being that which does not exist yet.

God is still God. God still brings dead things to life and He has chosen His church to be the messenger.

This is why it is vital to bring our offences and anger to God. God sees things that we do not. He is the Master Artist who created all things by Jesus, through Jesus, and for Jesus.

I thank the Lord He sees things differently than we do, otherwise He would have wiped us out at the flood and said nope. Not happening again.

But here is the thing, we must see people the way He sees people.

Genesis 1:27 NASB95

27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

We were created in the image of God. This means we have access to His characteristics.

Love

Grace

Mercy

Joy

Peace

Patience

and so much more!

We are to reflect Jesus to a broken world. You cannot reflect Christ properly if you are broken by offence.

It will be like looking at a fragmented mirror with missing pieces and so many will miss out on the fullness of Christ because we chose to hold onto offence which breeds anger and produces un-forgiveness.

Closing

I want to close with this thought. Jesus is the exact opposite.

Jesus loves people to the point He doesn’t allow offence to distort His view of who they can be.

In John 13, Jesus is having His last meal with his friends. He proceeds to tell them that he is getting ready to leave and they cannot follow him.

Peter interjects that he wants to go with him and will follow anywhere he goes.

Jesus responds.

John 13:38 NASB95

38 Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for Me? Truly, truly, I say to you, a rooster will not crow until you deny Me three times.

End of chapter. Here is the thing. This may be the end of the chapter, but this wasn’t the end of the conversation.

It continues on in chapter 14.

John 14:1–3 NASB95

1 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 “If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.

Think about this for a moment:

When Peter insists that he is even willing to die for Jesus, Jesus tells him, “No, you’ll betray Me. You’ll deny Me—three times. But don’t let your heart be troubled. Believe in me. I’m going to prepare a special place for you—and I’m coming back to get you!”

Notice that Jesus doesn’t allow:

hypocrisy

betrayal

backstabbing

lying

or even abandonment

stop Him from loving Peter. Jesus seen something in Peter that he couldn’t even see in himself. Jesus seen Peter what he could be.

Had Jesus got offended and angry at what Peter said and did, he would not have become and integral part of the birth of the church. He spoke to thousands, boldly proclaiming the Gospel message of Jesus Christ.

God sees things we do not. That person in your life right now that you find horribly offensive, that political party that offends you, that group of people that angers you, God sees something there. They too were created by Jesus, for Jesus, and through Jesus. God has a plan for them.

I bet if you were to ask God, “God what do you see? I want to see what you see.” I can almost guarantee He will begin to show you what He sees.

Prayer

Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a humble heart, seeking Your wisdom and guidance. Lord, I acknowledge that my perspective is limited and often clouded by my own experiences, biases, and emotions. But You, God, see each person clearly, with perfect love and understanding.

Help me, Lord, to see others as You see them. Give me eyes to see beyond the surface—to see their hearts, their struggles, their potential, and their worth as Your beloved children. Teach me to love without condition, to show grace without hesitation, and to extend kindness without reservation.

When I am tempted to judge, remind me of Your endless mercy. When I am tempted to hold onto offense, remind me of Your boundless forgiveness. When I am tempted to overlook someone, remind me of the value You place on each soul.

Fill my heart with compassion, empathy, and patience. Help me to recognize the image of You in every person I encounter, no matter how different they may be from me. Let Your love be the lens through which I view the world, so that I may reflect Your light in all my interactions.

Father, mold my heart to align with Yours. Let me be a vessel of Your love, seeing others not through the eyes of the world, but through Your eyes of grace, mercy, and truth. Use me to uplift, encourage, and bring healing to those who need it.

I thank You for Your unfailing love and for the privilege of being Your child. May Your Spirit guide me daily as I strive to walk in Your ways and see others as You do.

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.