The Marks of Genuine Christian Love, Part II (Romans 12:14–21)

Introduction

I'm finishing up a sermon today that I started last week. This is part two of that sermon. It's the first time that I've done a sermon in two parts. We're talking about the marks of genuine Christian love from Romans 12. It's important for us, as I shared last week, that we don't let the culture dictate to us what love should be. If we let the world dictate to us what love should be, we’ll be left with a basket of ideas poisoned with sin. God, who is love, is the only authority who can accurately describe for us what true genuine love should look like in a human life. May his love shine in our lives every day.

When I think of love, I think of my wife and kids. One day in 2011, I was in my room dabbling with music. My dad was very musical, and so I picked up music from him. So I was in my room, I had some recording equipment out and I had my guitar and just dabbling, playing around a little bit with some music. I had a mix going on the computer, some drums, a guitar, and I had a microphone out. My youngest son Kevin walks in the room. He was about eight years old. He hears the mix, and he steps up to the microphone and he starts singing, “I love my daddy, yeah.” I still have that song on my Facebook and I hear it sometimes.

I know my kids love me. I know it because and I can see that they're starting to do little things that remind me of myself. They've picked up my humor, which I don't know if that's for the best, but it is what it is. As a parent, as your kids start to reflect who you are, you hope they pick up the best parts.

And as we grow in Christ, in many ways, our life should start to reflect the character of our heavenly Father. We say we love God. And if we love God, his character should start to reflect in our own life, because we are growing into his image.

But what does it look like for the father's love to reflect to others in our own life? We’re going to continue to see that today in Romans 12.

In Romans 12, Paul is outlining for us the marks of genuine Christian love. Now these are the marks of love that should be evident in every Christian. So, if you are a Christian today, as you grow and develop in Christ, these marks of genuine Christian love are the characteristics that will start to develop in your life.

We covered the first part of these marks last week, where I described through the text, seven marks of genuine Christian love that Paul highlights in Romans 12:9-13. We said from Romans 12:9-13 that genuine Christian love is authentic, it overflows out of the actions of our lives. It's discerning, knowing the difference between right and wrong. Christian love honors others, its diligent and enthusiastic in service to God, it’s patient and hopeful, reminding us we have a confident hope in Jesus that give us patience in all things. Christian love is prayerful, and it shows hospitality and generosity to others. Those are seven marks of genuine Christian love that we see in Romans 12:9-13.

Again, as you grow in Christ, these characteristics of genuine Christian love will develop in your life and show as evidence of the love of Christ within you.

Today, we're going to continue with three more marks of genuine Christian love that we see from Romans 12:14-21. Let's read the text first and then we'll get into it.

Scripture Reading

Romans 12:14–21 CSB

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. 20 But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. 21 Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

Pray

These words in Romans 12 are hard words in our culture. Especially now, in a political season, we’re reminded every day that people in their natural state are not normally people who "bless those who persecute us.” That is not the norm. Instead, when people hurt or persecute us, we don't see them as someone who should be blessed. They’re not even someone who just has some issues.

Instead, we have a tendency in our modern culture to demonize others, to see them as the devil incarnate. Think of politics today, where the person on the other side, no matter what party you come from, the other person is never portrayed as a good person with different ideas. Instead, from either side of the aisle, the opponent is constantly viewed as evil person who seeks to destroy the country. Now you can blame whoever you want for that, but whatever the case, that’s where we are at.

It’s not just in politics, but you can see this in any relationship where there has been a deep brokenness. If someone has hurt someone else in a relationship, it's really hard for those two to start to see each other the same ever again. You really need a work of God's healing in both of their hearts to reconcile.

All of our relationships can have a tendency to get broken. And we all can have a tendency to not wish the best to those who hurt us. We have a deep need for God's continual forgiveness, grace, and healing in our lives.

As we look at the text in Romans 12:14-21, there is a clear parallel between this text and the words of our Lord Jesus Christ on the Sermon on the Mount. The sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7 is the greatest sermon ever preached, and Paul picks up some of the themes from this sermon, particularly from Matthew 5, in his letter to the Romans in Romans 12.

For instance, living out Romans 12:14-21 is an urging from Paul to live under the blessings of Matthew 5:9, where the Lord says,

Matthew 5:9 CSB

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

A peacemaker is someone who tries to bring about harmony between two opposing parties. So when Paul is urging you in Romans 12:18 to “live at peace with everyone,” he is urging you under the authority of Jesus Christ to live as a peacemaker. He is saying to live under the blessings of God through the power of Christ in your life as a peacemaker to everyone around you.

Part of the marks of genuine Christian love will be the development of being a peacemaker within you.

Now we’ve said that these verses have to do with the development of genuine Christian love within you. But something you'll notice from Romans 12:14-21 is that the word “love” never shows up. He did reference love in Romans 12:9 where he says, “Let love be without hypocrisy,” and in Romans 12:10 where he tells us to “Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters.” But particularly down in these verses that we’re covering today, Romans 12:14-21, the word “love” is not here.

So you might ask, Pastor Jason, I thought we were learning about the marks of genuine Christian love. How do you know that Romans 12:14-21 is speaking about genuine Christian love?

I’m glad you asked. First, I know because Romans 12:14-21 comes within the context of verses nine and 10, which speak about genuine love. But I also know because the content of these verses (Romans 12:14-21) are really a summary of the words of our Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:43-44 where the Lord says this in his sermon,

Matthew 5:43–44 CSB

43 “You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

You could summarize all of Romans 12:14-21 with the words, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Therefore, because of the context of Romans 12 and because of the Lord’s words to love your enemy, love is the central theme of these verses. These verses are urging and encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. He is encouraging us to be peacemakers and live in genuine Christian love.

And the first mark of genuine Christian love that we'll talk about today is,

1. Genuine Christian love shows forgiveness and humility.

He starts us off in Romans 12:14 by saying,

Romans 12:14 CSB

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

“Bless those who persecute you.” Persecution, you should know, is the worst kind of attack. It often comes from either people in authority or just someone who has authority in your life because you trust them. When someone persecutes you, they are causing you to suffer. Sometimes that suffering could be physical, or sometimes that suffering could be emotional, and of course sometimes both. Persecution could also show as an authority that is systematically harassing you or a group of people due to your religious beliefs.

Now to bless someone who persecutes you seems like the opposite of what you would do. To bless has the idea of invoking divine favor upon someone, wishing God’s blessings upon them. It implies that you have a positive disposition toward them, and you want to see their life blessed by God.

In other words, what he is saying is, “Christian, you know that person who you are upset at, that person who hurt you, that person that caused you pain. Pray for them. Love them. Bless them.”

You might say, “Pastor Jason, that’s impossible,” and I say, “Amen.” Did you think this was something you could do in your natural self? To bless someone that persecutes you is a work of the Holy Spirit in your life having victory over your sin nature. This is a spiritual battle that must be won by the Spirit of God in your life.

In other words, as you grow in Christ, there is a perspective shift, a change that happens, a transformation on the way that you see the world, on the way that you see people. God's healing in your heart includes the healing of forgiveness and to “bless those who persecute you” is forgiveness; it is forgiveness in action.

It is one thing to say you forgive someone. It is another thing to actively prioritize that person who hurt you in your prayer life, wishing God’s blessings for them. To bless those who persecute you involves forgiveness, and forgiveness is humility before God.

Paul gives an example to us of what blessing those who persecute you actually looks like. In 1 Corinthians 4, he described himself as an apostle and says that God has made apostles a spectacle to the world. He's speaking about his own life. He describes himself from that present hour as being hungry and thirsty, as poorly clothed and roughly treated. He describes himself as homeless.

But listen to how he responds to the world when he is horribly treated. He says in 1 Corinthians 4:12-13,

1 Corinthians 4:12–13 CSB

12 we labor, working with our own hands. When we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; 13 when we are slandered, we respond graciously. Even now, we are like the scum of the earth, like everyone’s garbage.

To bless those who persecute you were not empty words for Paul. They were not words from someone who never experienced pain. He was hurt, he experienced pain, but he could endure it because of God’s power in his life.

That same power is the power that resides in every Christian. We can bless and endure, and we respond graciously because of Jesus. The Lord Jesus was reviled, was he not? He was persecuted, was he not? He was slandered, was he not? And yet despite all that, as it says in Philippians 2:8, “he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.” We see Jesus, and his example is to bless those who persecute us. God give us the strength and courage to have the forgiveness and humility to bless those who persecute us.

Genuine Christian love has forgiveness and humility. It also has this...

The second mark is,

2. Genuine Christian love shows empathy to others.

Take a look at Romans 12:15, where it says,

Romans 12:15 CSB

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.

To “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “weep with those who weep,” is to show genuine empathy. Empathy involves the ability to place yourself in the position of someone else and to understand their emotions or their feelings from where they are at.

Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy is when you just feel bad for someone. You pity them. You say, “Man, that person is going through a tough time. I’m glad I’m not that person!”

That's not what empathy is. Empathy is the ability to step into the place of where someone is. In essence, it’s to get into the mud with them.

One of the things that is so striking about the the ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ is how much empathy he displayed. Jesus was willing to get into the mud with others. Jesus was someone who would rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

Did Jesus “rejoice with those who rejoice”? Think of the wedding at Cana where he performed the miracle of turning water into wine. By attending this wedding and embracing it with this miracle, he showed himself as someone who rejoices with those who rejoice. Welcoming children and engaging with them could be another example of him rejoicing with those who rejoice.

And we have multiple examples of how Jesus displayed empathy to those in pain, being someone who would weep with those who weep.

A man with leprosy, definitely a man who I'm sure had spent many evenings weeping, a man ostracized and left out of society, came to Jesus on his knees, begging him and saying, “If you're willing, you can make me clean.” Look at how the Lord responded. In Mark 1:41 it says,

Mark 1:41 CSB

41 Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched him. “I am willing,” he told him. “Be made clean.”

The Lord Jesus was moved with compassion. He was able to step into the mud with the leper in that moment, understand his emotions, and especially how important the touch of the healer in that moment would be. He touched the man and said, “Be made clean.” The Lord had empathy for the leper.

Empathy was characteristic of the whole ministry of Jesus. The Lord displayed empathy by healing the sick, feeding the hungry, and reaching and teaching the lost.

John 11 is especially helpful in learning about the empathy that Jesus had toward others. This is the chapter where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. But in this chapter, even though he knows what he is about to do, that Lazarus is about to resurrect from the dead, it does not stop him from weeping with those who weep. Think about that.

Take a look at John 11:33-36:

John 11:33–36 CSB

33 When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, he was deeply moved in his spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked. “Lord,” they told him, “come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

And I think when the Jews interpreted the weeping from Jesus as weeping about the death of Lazarus, they got that wrong. Jesus’ tears weren’t for Lazarus. Lazarus was about to rise from the dead. Jesus’ tears was because of everyone around him. Jesus was deeply moved in his spirit because of the tears of the people around him.

Genuine Christian love understands and empathizes with the pain of others. As someone who lived in genuine love, Jesus was someone who would rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

The Lord calls us to do the same. Christians are called to be people who express the forgiveness, the humility, and the empathy of genuine Christian love.

Third and the last mark for today is,

3. Genuine Christian love shows kindness to others.

Take a look at what it what it says in Romans 12:17-18,

Romans 12:17–18 CSB

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Now this is so different from what we see in the world today. The world and the Bible couldn't be more farther apart here.

Many cultures might interpret these verses as being naive or ineffective. Some might see this as wrong. There are cultures where it is honorable to get revenge.

In our cultures, some might question this. They might say, “So are you telling me that someone should be taken advantage of?” They’ll say, “If someone does evil to someone, they shouldn't seek justice?”

But as a Christian, as someone who's thought process is being transformed and changed by, as it says in Romans 12:2, “the renewing of your mind,” what happens to the Christian is that your concept of justice is being changed. In fact, I would argue that Christians have a greater and more powerful authority for justice than anyone else.

Take a look at the explanation of this in Romans 12:19-21,

Romans 12:19–21 CSB

19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. 20 But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. 21 Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

Let me explain this. Christians have a different idea of justice than the world does.

In the world, confrontations happen between two people. Now there might be more, but there are at least, at the heart of it, at least two people. And these two people go back and forth.

If it’s between me and someone else, I say something to you, and you say something to me. And the two of us impact one another. The whole of the confrontation exists between these two people. I might need to get outside help to help me against this person, but whatever it is, the confrontation is always framed between me and someone else. And in a confrontation between two people, I am only responsible to myself for how I react to you, because it is just the two of us.

The Christian view of confrontation is completely different. In confrontations for the Christian, there is never just two people. For the Christian, within any confrontation there are at least three people. There is you. There is me, and there is God. And now in any confrontation that I have with somebody, I am no longer just responsible to myself for how I react to you. I am primarily responsible to God for how I react to you.

And here's the thing in this perspective shift, if I am responsible to God for how I react to you, you also are responsible to God for how you react to me. We both are under God’s justice, and God’s justice, for the Christian, is the only justice that matters.

How many of you know that human justice is not always fair?

Let’s say, you murder someone I love, maybe the justice system catches you. They give you 25 years. Maybe they give you life in prison. Either way, you got to live your life. The person I love didn't get to live theirs.

And if human justice is all we have, than justice will never truly be fair, because humans are limited in their power to provide justice. Because of our sin nature, there will always be some kind of bias. If your hope is in human justice, justice will always feel weak, it will always feel like it's not enough, because it is weak, and it is poisoned by sin.

But Christians have a greater hope. Christians understand that we will all stand before the judgment seat of God one day. And there is only one who has the power to provide true justice. Now sometimes God will provide justice in this life, and he may use human authority to do it. We will get into Romans 13 soon, which we'll talk about authorities that God has permitted on Earth to bring judgment.

But as people who are submitted under the authority of Jesus Christ, we are people who understand that justice is completely and totally God's work and not ours.

We serve the Lord Jesus Christ, who said this in Matthew 5:38-42 in his sermon to his followers and to us. He said,

Matthew 5:38–42 CSB

38 “You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But I tell you, don’t resist an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 As for the one who wants to sue you and take away your shirt, let him have your coat as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and don’t turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

What is the Lord's main teaching from this? Revenge is not yours to demand. Christians know that justice is God’s work and now ours. Genuine Christian love never seeks revenge. Genuine Christian love never seeks an eye for an eye to tooth for a tooth.

Genuine Christian love acknowledges that we are under the authority of Jesus Christ, and that authority gives us the power, the strength, the courage, the humility and the empathy to love our enemy. To love your enemy is a spiritual battle won by the Spirit of God in your life.

And given the option between human justice and God's justice, I will choose God's justice every time. But here’s the thing about God's justice. I must acknowledge that I don’t deserve God’s grace. God has been incredibly kind to me.

We have sinned before righteous and holy God, and he has every right as a holy and righteous God to deal with us as our sins deserve. But yet, as David says in Psalm 103:10-11,

Psalm 103:10–11 CSB

10 He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those who fear him.

God didn’t deal with us as our sins deserve. He has not repaid us according to our iniquities. And it is because of his incredible forgiveness and his faithful love toward us, that as children of God reflecting his image to the world, we bless those who persecute us.

On June 17th, 2015, a self-proclaimed young white supremacist walked into an African American church in Charleston, South Carolina, and opened fire. According to reports, he had written in a manifesto that he hoped to ignite a race war through this act. Nine people were killed and one was injured during the Bible study. The youngest victim was Tywanza Sanders, 26, a graduate of Allen University. The oldest victim was Susie Jackson, 87, a church choir member. The young man left one survivor at the Bible study. According to the report from the survivor, after killing everyone, the young man put the gun to his head, pulled the trigger, and attempted to kill himself, but he was out of ammunition.

But because that young man didn't die there, he was able to see the love of God shown through family members at the trial. Listen to this:

At the trial, family members of the victims spoke to the killer. The daughter of 70-year-old Ethel Lance said this at the trial to the young man, “You took something really precious from me. I will never talk to her again, but I forgive you and have mercy on your soul. You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. But God forgives you. I forgive you.” Anthony Thompson, the husband of 59-year-old Myra Thompson said to the young man, “I forgive you, and my family forgives you, but we would like you take this opportunity to repent. Change your ways.”

These family members have every reason to seethe with anger. They had every reason to demand repayment for what was taken from them, to repay evil with evil.

Instead because of the work of Jesus Christ in their life, they were able to show genuine Christian love and an incredibly hard time. They realized that in every confrontation, it’s not just you and me. God is above every scenario.

My anger in any situation is now submitted to the authority, power, and love of Jesus Christ. And it's in his love that we stand.

His love is powerful enough to reach us where we're at.

His love is humble enough to walk with us in our pain.

His love is powerful enough. to bring healing during impossible times.

His love is love is genuine enough to change a broken heart and set us free.

Conclusion

Genuine Christian love is humble.

It forgives, and has the humility to bless those who persecute us.

Genuine Christian love shows empathy.

It is willing to meet people where they are at and love them, because Jesus met us where we were at and loved us.

Genuine Christian love is kind.

It never seeks revenge, and it is always pointing others to the love and forgiveness that we have in Jesus Christ.

Prayer

Last Song

Doxology

Numbers 6:24–26 CSB

24 “May the Lord bless you and protect you; 25 may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; 26 may the Lord look with favor on you and give you peace.” ’

Jude 24–25 CSB

24 Now to him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of his glory, without blemish and with great joy, 25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever. Amen.

You are dismissed. Have a great week in the Lord!