Proverbs 31:1-31: A Godly Wife

Introduction

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2133922/Was-Einstein-worlds-worst-husband-Wife-ordered-room-tidy-serve-meals-day--expect-NO-affection--stop-talking-demands-it.html - Albert Einstein may have been a genius, but he was a terrible husband.

If you are a husband, how do you treat your wife? If you are a single man, what kind of wife are you praying for? How are you preparing to be the husband God wants you to be?

Men, Proverbs 31 is an encouraging passage for you because it helps you to know how to think about your wife/future wife, how to encourage her, and how to pray for her.

If you are a wife or are looking toward marriage, this passage is helpful because it gives you a picture of what King Lemeul’s mom describes as a woman of noble character (Proverbs 31:10).

Preaching a message about wives is challenging as a husband/man, but this is a hopeful, beautiful, and fitting poem for the conclusion of Proverbs that helps us to think well about what a biblical marriage is supposed to be: a ministry partnership.

This morning, three truths about a godly wife.

A godly wife is precious.

Why does Proverbs end with a poem about finding a wife? Proverbs started with Solomon warning his son against the dangers of adultery, and Solomon encouraged his son to enjoy the wife of his youth (Proverbs 5:15-23).

Proverbs is primarily advice from King Solomon, but the book ends with wisdom from King Lemeul’s mom. We don’t know anything about King Lemeul or his mom.

In Proverbs 1-9, Solomon urged his son to “marry” Lady Wisdom. He wants his son to have a relationship with wisdom. The wife that King Lemeul’s mom describes in Proverbs 31 looks a lot like Lady Wisdom - she fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30).

King Lemeul’s mom wants what every godly mom wants - for her son to marry a godly woman.

Who you choose to marry will shape the direction of your life.

If you are single (whether you’re a single man or woman):

It’s easy to find a fool to marry. A fool is someone who chooses to NOT honor God with their lives. Fools are attractive, successful on their jobs, even sometimes have good morals and are dedicated to their families. But, if you follow Jesus and you marry someone who does not follow Jesus, you’re going to have a difficult marriage.

It’s easy to settle for a fool. Consider Lemeul’s mom’s warning in Proverbs 31:2-4. She warns her son against foolish women and strong drink. She wants her son to be a good king, and a good king needs a godly wife, not a foolish one. It’s easy to marry someone who does not have a relationship with God and justify it. All you need is love, right? Or, is it that big of a deal that the person I marry follows Jesus as long as we get along and have other stuff in common?

It’s impossible to change a fool. That’s your hope - that you can change a fool. Only God can do that, and certainly God does. However, there’s no guarantee that if you marry someone who does not know Jesus that they will eventually come to faith. Further, it is impossible to live out the biblical picture of marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33) if you’re married to an unbeliever.

Mom to son: A wife of noble character is a precious (Proverbs 31:10). If you have a wife of noble character, you have something that is of extreme value.

Proverbs 31= an acrostic - Easy to remember. Also, from A-Z here’s a noble woman.

A precious wife is trustworthy. Trust = a willingness to place your life in the hands of your spouse.

A precious wife rewards her husband with good. Not a nag (Proverbs 27:15-16) but a help to her husband. Encourages and lifts up her husband rather than tears him down.

Whether you are a man or a woman, this is what we’re striving for in marriage - to be a trustworthy spouse and a blessing to our spouse.

She’s precious - Lemeul’s mom reminding Lemeul that if he finds a godly wife, it’s a rare find.

If you are a woman in this room pursuing Christ, you are a rare find. Keep pursuing Jesus. You might have your struggles like everyone else, but you are honoring the Lord in your pursuit of Him. Husbands, if you have a godly wife, I hope your wife and treat your wife as precious.

Husbands - you help your wife to be trustworthy and good as you are trustworthy and good - as you nurture your relationship with your wife.

A godly wife is a gift.

Proverbs 31:13-27 describes the actions of the godly wife. Remember two things: 1. This not a checklist for how to be a good wife. This is poetry that captures characteristics that we should all be striving for. 2. This is a mom giving advice to her son. Moms set the bar high. Moms only want the best for their sons.

Women, don’t read this poetry and feel defeated because you don’t live up to the expectations of Lemeul’s mom. If Lemeul’s mom was giving advice to her daughter, it would probably be equally idealistic language about a future husband.

These verses do speak to the kind of character that should be characteristic of every godly woman and man.

Competent (vs. 13-27): More than able to partner with her husband to care for her home/family. A woman who is not idle (vs. 27) but very active in caring for her home, even supporting by bringing in income. (Staci went to Walmart.) Does whatever it takes to care for her family. Her and her husband have an impact on their own household and the community (vs. 23). (All the times Staci has been supportive of ministry and hasn’t discouraged me from doing what God has called me to do.)

Compassionate (vs. 20): A godly wife has her eyes set on the mission of God - to be a blessing to others for the sake of the Gospel.

Joyous (vs. 25): A joyous wife is a gift to a family. Laughter in a home eases tension and brings peace.

Wise teacher (vs. 26): Both mom and dad have a responsibility to correct, instruct, and disciple their children. It’s a gift to your children when moms and dads work together.

Proverbs 31 paints the picture of a sacrificial wife: giving everything she has for the sake of the family God has given her so that her family might thrive in the Lord.

Many women in this church are striving to live as a sacrificial wife. You are striving to be Christlike, competent, compassionate, joyous, and a wise teacher in your home. If you are striving to be who God has called you to be, you are a gift to your husband and your family.

Husband, if this describes your wife, you have a gift. Treat your wife as the gift she is. Husbands:

Embrace the gift of the wife that God has given you. Temptation to look at your wife and think, “I wish she…” Or, “I wish she was like…” In God’s kindness, He has given you a woman who is striving to live for Jesus. Embrace the gift God has given, and before you dwell on her flaws, consider your own.

Treat the gift of the wife that God has given you with care. 1 Peter 3:7 - Weaker vessel - ESV - I think of my wife as fine china - I handle with care. If I treat my wife as a precious and rare, I strive to be gentle, careful with my words, loving, compassionate, etc. Some of you husbands have a precious gift in your wife, but you don’t treat your wife as a gift at all. You treat your wife as if she’s a burden to you.

Don’t take the gift of the wife that God has given you for granted. You are a better man because you have a godly wife. You are better man because you have a wife that prays for you, cares for your children, cares for your home, works to provide extra income.

A godly wife is praiseworthy.

A godly wife is praised by her children. Some of you children take your moms for granted. You ask for a lot from your mom, but you don’t take the time to tell her that you appreciate her. If you have a mom who loves the Lord and loves you, you have a precious gift. Your mom is not perfect, but she loves you. Show your mom appreciation.

A godly wife is praised by her husband. Husbands, how often do you tell your wives “thank you?” How do you talk about your wife to others? How often do you encourage your wife? Look at how a husband is to praise his wife (vs. 29-31). If you have a godly wife, you have found something that outlasts charm and beauty - you have found a true jewel.

If you have a godly spouse, give God thanks, and continue to pursue Christ together. Few joys in life greater than a godly marriage. It’s a challenge to live out a biblical marriage in a godless world, but it is worth it.

If you have a spouse who is not a follower of Jesus, pray and don’t lose hope. You honor the Lord and love your spouse with the love of Jesus. You can’t change your spouse’s heart, but you can treat your spouse with grace. You can pray for your spouse. You can point your spouse to Jesus.

If you are single and desire to be married, pray for a godly spouse, and don’t settle for less than what God desires for you. Singleness is hard, however, it is better to remain single than to marry someone that you know will not help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. Be patient and trust the Lord. He knows what He is doing in your life.

If you are a parent, pray for a godly spouse for your children. Let them see an example of a godly marriage in your home, and pray for your children to not settle for less than what God desires for them.

If you are not pursuing Christ, pursue Christ for the sake of your own soul and for the sake of your marriage. Wives, your husbands need a godly wife. Husbands, your wives need a godly husband. You are a gift to your spouse when you are living for Jesus.

Proverbs 31 is a fitting conclusion to the Book of Proverbs. In your English Bible, Ecclesiastes is the next book of the Bible. However, in the original ordering of books in the Hebrew Bible, the Book of Proverbs is followed by the Book of Ruth. Ruth was far from perfect. She was a pagan, but God redeemed her for Himself, and she became a godly woman and a godly wife to Boaz. She was a wise wife. In a lot of ways, she’s an example of the Proverbs 31 woman, and her name is listed in the lineage of Jesus in Matthew 1.

Ruth was a wise wife and Ruth saved Naomi’s family by preserving the family name. However, you need something more than a wise, godly wife or a wise, godly husband. You need a wise Savior. You need the Son of God, who is the very wisdom of God, who has come to save you from your sins and give you life through His death and resurrection. A relationship with Jesus is precious because He is the ONE who is truly compassionate, a true help in our time of need, and He is the source of true joy. A relationship with Jesus is a gift from God. And, Jesus is the ONE who is truly praiseworthy. If you are not a follower of Jesus, embrace Jesus Christ, the gift you really need.