Saturday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time Year 2 2024

Title

Parents and Children

Outline

Ezekiel must be taken in canonical context

What does it mean, “Parents eat sour grapes, but the children’s teeth are set on edge”?

In one sense this is true. The consequences of parents’ actions continue down the generations, for the Lord “visits the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.” And not only the consequences, but also the actual behavior patterns and sins, as family emotional systems has demonstrated, both for extended families and for church and work “families” or systems.

The father who bankrupts the family may see suffering rolling down the generations. The child who was abused may (and in cases I can think of did) become an abusive pastor.

The rule of systems counseling is to “look up” the generations, although one can often see the effects looking down as well.

But God is speaking of something else in Ezekiel, it is not consequences or learned or inherited tendencies to sin, not familial demons, but the actual punishment for sins. Not only does the legal code say that children must not be put to death for the sins of the father, but now God says with respect to the generations: “only the one who sins shall die!” It is not that the children may not suffer the results of a parent’s sin, but that assuming that they do not live the same way God is not punishing them; indeed he is often healing even the consequences.

We all suffer the consequences and bentness of our first parents’ sin, but God sent his son to heal us of both those consequences and our personal sins.

That brings us to Jesus

In a world in which children had no honor value of their own, parents wanted his blessing on them, which the disciples did not think was worth his while.

Jesus says not only, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them.” And then “After he placed his hands on them, he went away.” But he also notes “for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Why? Perhaps because in that culture children knew their low status and could accept love as a gift. Perhaps because, being without the guilt of their parents they could receive. He does not explain.

These teachings have two consequences for us

First, and most obviously, bring the children to Jesus. Bring them to him in baptism as early as possible. Bring them to him in catechesis, in living the faith before them, and in communion - I love to bless children too young to receive and I do so seriously, for I am communicating the love, the blessing, and the acceptance of Jesus.

Second, realize that children will receive your behavior more deeply than your words. I remember teachers by their character. So be careful what you pass down to them.

Finally, when you see a problem in a child or a family system look up the generations, for you will see a pattern. It is not God’s punishment but it is the result of a family inheritance, so to speak. Now that that is brought to light, you can help the child to find new behavioral responses that will be healing.

God does not want to see evil go on and he does not punish children for what their parents did. He wants to see healing and he wants us to so teach the child Jesus that he child receives and does not repeat the evil parental behavior.