The Habit of Solitude
Notes
Transcript
The Habit of Solitude
The Habit of Solitude
Raise your hand if you have a difficult time slowing your mind. Now raise your hand if you didn’t hear what I said because your mind was somewhere else. As amazing of a person as Amy is, this is something that we are both guilty of. In fact, the most common question we ask each other is, “Did you hear what I just said? Are you listening?”
The difference between us is that God gave us guys a built-in defense mechanism. We will look like we are listening intently, until our wives ask if we are listening. Our minds can be racing and thinking about 10 different things, but as soon as we hear those words we automatically answer, “Yeah. Yes dear. Of course.”
I hate to even admit it, but I don’t just do this at home either. I can’t even tell you how many times Chris will tell me something at work and I will say, “okay,” but later I will say the same thing to him. He might tell me we are almost out of screws, and then an hour later I will say, “remind me to get screws later, we are almost out.”
If you have a hard time slowing your mind, maybe you can relate. During the day your mind feels cluttered. You might even find it difficult to focus. For me, math starts to get hard. I enjoy basic math, but when my mind won’t stop I can’t even do simple math.
Then at night you lay in bed trying to sleep, but your mind is racing through your “to do” list. You are thinking about how you are going to build that windmill, where you are going to plant those new flowers, and what you need to buy at the grocery store.
We’ve been talking about habits of a healthy heart. Interestingly, Solomon said that someone who’s mind won’t stop is someone with an anxious or a striving heart. In fact, the NIV translates the Hebrew words to “Anxious Striving.”
Ecc 2:22-23
22 What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? 23 All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.
We are working to develop healthy habits. The habits of a healthy heart, not an anxious or striving heart. We don’t want any of this anxiety. If you want to change your life, what do you have to do? Change your habits. And if you want to change your habits? You have to let God change your heart.
In week one of this series we looked at the habit of self-examination. At one point in David’s rule as king he lived as if his job was to destroy lives. His habits led him to do some pretty disgusting stuff and even got people killed, until Nathan confronted him and he did a little self-examination.
Last week we talked about the habit of simplifying. We looked at another verse from Ecclesiastes that says, Ecclesiastes 4:6 “Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.” We asked God to give us less of what doesn’t matter and more of what does matter. In the end, because we have Jesus, we have enough.
Today we are talking about what we are calling the habit of solitude. When your mind won’t stop it is critical that you develop the spiritual habit of slowing your mind.
Pray
You may already be thinking about some of the things that go through your mind on a regular basis. Some of them important. Maybe even important enough that your blood pressure goes up just because they are on your mind. Some of them may not be so important. Just a funny experience or fun thing to think about.
Let’s shift our focus for a little bit and think about Jesus. Try to imagine all of the things that were on His mind. Here is a big one. He had no sin! How is that even possible!? Guys, can you imagine never having an impure thought? Can you imagine never having a jealous of envious thought?
That’s tough. That alone would be a lot for my mind, but that’s not all He had going on. What about His mission? I imagine that would take up a lot of thought space. He had a lot to do. In only three years He had to recruit His 12 disciples. He had to take this group of no nothing guys and teach them the values of the Kingdom of God, and prepare them to carry the message all over the world.
He was also healing the sick, raising the dead, cleansing the temple, showing the love of the Father to everyone that he sees, enduring the persecution of the Pharisees, fulfilling every letter of the law, giving His life as a sacrifice for the sins of the world, then three days later coming back to defeat death, hell, and the grave when the stone was rolled away and Christ was risen from the dead.
I am thinking that Jesus probably had a lot on His mind. There is no bigger assignment in this world than the one Jesus had before Him. In order to do God’s will and complete the task given Him, Jesus had to be consistent and intentional.
Jesus consistently and intentionally created the space to hear from Heaven and spend time with His Father.
Jesus consistently and intentionally created the space to hear from Heaven and spend time with His Father.
Consistently and intentionally! He consistently and intentionally disconnected from the crowds that searched, followed, and cried out for Him. He consistently and intentionally found ways to drown out the distractions. He consistently and intentionally made efforts to silence the never-ending noise. If you are taking notes, write this down…
There is no such thing as intimacy without intentionality.
This is true in your marriage. If you are not intentional about having intimacy with your spouse, there will always be someone else that needs your attention, a task that you need to complete, or a TV show that won’t watch itself.
It is true in your parenting. If you are not intentional about raising your kids, then someone else will do it for you and that’s not a good thing. Even our own government is champing at the bit to get to raise our kids.
You have to be intentional about friendships or little disagreements can become relationship ending milestones.
Being intentional is especially true with God. You can’t busy your way to God! I have never in my life met someone who is close to God who didn’t spend time with God. If you have a difficult time slowing your mind like me, then we need to hear that again and let it sink in…
You will never meet someone who is close to God and intimate with God who doesn’t spend time with God.
Over and over again in the Gospels we see Jesus withdraw from the crowds, remove Himself from all of the demands, separate Himself from all of the expectations and find a secluded place where He could slow down in solitude and silence to pause, pray, and hear the Father’s voice. Look at the 35th verse in the first chapter of Mark’s Gospel…
35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
While it was still dark and everyone else was probably sleeping Jesus went somewhere that He could be alone with God. What happens every time you try to be alone with God? That’s when everyone needs you. Jesus found somewhere that He could be alone and pray, but that’s when everyone needed Him. Verse 36…
36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”
I can’t even tell you how many hours Amy and I will sit in silence as we browse the internet, read emails, look through pictures, or whatever, but the moment I am in the silence of my office spending time with God is the moment that everyone needs to talk to me.
Some say that the only place you can go to be alone is the bathroom. Those people must have never been married with kids. You can even try turning out the light, but you are sure to see little fingers pop up from under the door. Your spouse will just complain about the smell, rather than waiting for you to finish. If you have pets in the house, that is always when they need to go outside or want to play.
Cup of water illustration
What we do is we give and give and give and give. We pour out and pour out until we are empty. What does your typical day look like? You get out of bed, you get the kids ready for school, you rush to work, you do the best you can at your job, you help your coworkers, then you rush home so you can get the kids to practice, you still have to fix supper.
Somewhere in the middle of all of that you have to pay bills, mow the yard, look perfect for the social media post, and before you know it your cup is empty.
Jesus came to give you abundant life. Life to the full, but instead your schedule is full and your cup is empty. You don’t have any more to give. Why?
You can’t give what you don’t have.
You can’t give what you don’t have.
Right now, some of you may be thinking, “Man, I am exhausted! There just isn’t enough time in the day. Even if there were more time, I don’t have the energy to give anything else.” Because you can’t give what you don’t have.
Jesus showed us how to consistently and intentionally pause, create space for God, and withdraw to let the Father fill us up. If you are taking notes, let’s quickly look at five passages in scripture where Jesus did this…
Before starting His ministry Jesus went into the wilderness and during that time the adversary tried to tempt Him…
1 Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2 where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.
14 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15 He was teaching in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
Jesus would pause and withdraw into solitude before making important decisions, such as when He chose His disciples…
12 One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 13 When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles:
Jesus withdrew to let God fill Him up after a long hard day of work…
23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,
The crowds never stopped wanting Jesus to heal them and teach them, but He was intentional about spending time with God. Jesus would retreat to a quiet place after ministering to lots of people…
15 Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. 16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Jesus withdrew after He learned that His close friend, John the baptist, had been beheaded…
13 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns.
Jesus modeled for us the habit of solitude. His example shows us why we need to withdraw…
You can’t continue to pour out if you don’t fill up.
You can’t continue to pour out if you don’t fill up.
If you are here today and you feel empty, like you have poured everything out and there is nothing left, you run the risk of burnout. Maybe you already are burned out. Maybe you don’t know how to withdraw to a quiet place because you see your value in what you are doing. You are afraid that if you quit everything will fall apart.
Do you find your value in what you do? In what you produce? In what you accomplish? In what you perform? In what you give? Don’t you think that pressure existed with Jesus too? Crowds of people coming to Him for healing, but He’s not here right now because He is praying.
I am very guilty of this. I find myself trying to do every project and do it without anybody’s help. I am constantly having to remind myself of the 46th Psalm that reminds us that it is God who is in control. It’s His glorious work that protects us. I just need to be still…
Psalm 46:10 (ESV)
10 “Be still, and know that I am God...”
It doesn’t say, “Be Responsible. Be successful. Be busy.” If you have ever seen the movie, “Johnnie English” you may remember that the bad guy had a tattoo that said, “Jesus is coming, look busy.” Don’t take his advice, he was the bad guy. That’s not what Jesus wants. Jesus wants us to be still.
The Hebrew word used is raphah (raw-faw’) and it means be still, be weak, or cease striving. Stop the anxious striving. Your work is just grief and pain.
Does everyone remember when God said that He was pleased with Jesus? Look at Luke 3:22…
22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
This happened when Jesus was baptized. At this point He hadn’t done any ministry yet! God was pleased with Him, and He hadn’t produced, hadn’t done a miracle, hadn’t healed, hadn’t taught. Why? God loved Him because of who He was, not because of what He did. It’s the same for YOU.
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
What did Jesus do next? Jesus DIDN’T pour out. He FILLED UP. He didn’t rush out to do miracles, the first thing Jesus did was slow down and spend time with the Father. We looked at this verse earlier…
1 Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness,
That is when Jesus fasted for 40 days. There is no such thing as intimacy without intentionality.
How do we practice the spiritual habit of solitude and slowing? Jesus taught us this habit in chapter 6 of Matthew…
6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
The message translation adds a little color to this making it a little easier to visualize…
Matthew 6:6 (MSG)
6 “Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
Press pause. Stop everything. Get alone. No texts, no social media, no TV, no little voices, no furry friends. Just you and God. Solitude. It’s not isolation, it’s solitude.
Isolation is when you run from others and you hide or feel sorry for yourself.
Solitude is a consistent, intentional, deliberate pause, giving you space to pray with the sole purpose of hearing Heaven and being with God your Father.
There is no such thing as intimacy without intentionality. It has to be a priority, because I can promise you that it is not going to happen without planning. Something will always stop you. The adversary will always try to tempt you and interrupt the time you are spending with God because the enemy does not want you to be full. He wants you to remain empty, chasing after the wind.
I suggest you find a place and find a time. Like Jesus, leave in the morning before anyone else wakes up, and go to a quiet place of solitude. Throughout the day, let God top you off throughout the day. You might even want to plan full days where you go to quartz mountain every 3 or 4 months and find a quiet place to pray.
Be still. Sit in silence. Solitude. Seek God. Listen. Let your soul talk honestly to God. You might be surprised what your soul wants to say to God. Don’t force it, just sit and let your soul talk, praise, cry, or shout!
The important thing is to sit in silence before God and surrender your illusion of control. Come face to face with who you really are and surrender to God. Surrender your dysfunctions. Surrender your self-indulgent behavior. Surrender your false comforts. Surrender your secret sins.
If you feel like you can’t do it anymore and you have nothing more to give, God is bringing you to a place where He can teach you the habit of slowing. To be still and know that He is God. The habit of solitude where He wants to fill you up to the fullest and overflowing.
You can’t continue to pour out if you don’t fill up.
Satan is going to whisper in your ear, “This is just another thing to add to the list of things to do. I just don’t have time.”
Tell yourself this, “You have the time for what you choose to have time for.” If it is important to you, you will make time for it. It comes down to a choice, and one way or another you are actively making this decision because there are only two options…
You can make excuses, or you can know God, but you can’t do both.
Consistently, intentionally disconnecting from the crowd. Going to a place where you can drown out the distractions and silence the never ending noise.
There is no such thing as intimacy without intentionality.
You can’t busy your way to God.
You can’t continue to pour out if you don’t fill up
Be still and know that He is God. He is enough.
Pray