Matthew 19: Hard Sayings

Introduction

Jesus is now making his way towards Jerusalem. But on the way he’s going to be stopped several times and faced with traps and controversies. You might even get the sense that the devil is throwing these things at him to try to prevent the cross. The two main controversies we will see today is Jesus being asked about divorce, and then a dialogue with a rich young man. In both cases we’re going to see that even the disciples struggled with his teachings.

19:1-12: Divorce

As someone who is divorced (and remarried), it’s hard to avoid that this is a tough passage and a hard saying of Jesus. I want to approach this passage with humility and honesty, which is how everyone should approach passages like this.

First we learn that Jesus left Galilee and started heading south towards Jerusalem. He “entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan”. This likely means he went the ‘normal’ way by crossing the Jordan, walking around Samaria, and then coming back across the river into Judea.

John tells us that Jesus has been here before, but he wasn’t as ‘popular’ then. Now Matthew tells us that the crowds followed him and he continued to heal them.

The location is important for this passage. It’s where John the Baptist did his baptizing, ministry, and was ultimately arrested. What for? Criticizing the divorce and marriage of Herodias.

If you’re looking to trap Jesus and get him arrested, this seems like the perfect place to ask him a question about divorce.

The Pharisees were also wanting to know where Jesus landed on this particular issue because there were two main schools of thought at the time.

Deuteronomy 24:1 ““When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,”

Rabbi Shimmei took a more ‘conservative’ interpretation to this saying that essentially divorce limited to a very narrow understanding of ‘indecency’.

Rabbi Hillel took a more ‘liberal’ interpretation and taught that grounds for divorce could be very wide and even trivial (like if she burns your food!)

All of this brings them to this moment of asking Jesus, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” What a loaded question!

Jesus answers them in His wisdom by asking, “Have you read the Bible?” (An insult to these very learned men.)

Their arguments were over the Law of Moses, but Jesus goes back even further than the Law - specifically to Genesis 2, the very foundational text for marriage in Scripture.

The Lord’s teaching here is that God’s original design for marriage has never changed. When God created man and woman (which is also an important reminder), marriage was intended to unite them into one flesh. Therefore, they should not be separated.

Well, this raises a natural follow-up question: if that was God’s intended design, why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce?

The phrasing of the question should give us a hint of how the Law was being misunderstood. This might sound malicious on their part, but I don’t think it necessarily was. Plenty of people misunderstand ‘rules’.

The Lord’s response is that the Law was given because of the “hardness of heart” of the people. And so Moses allowed them to divorce their wives.

There is a difference between ‘command’ and ‘allow’ and this was their misunderstanding. Any parent with children understands this.

If you tell them not to be out past midnight, but then say, “If you are out past midnight, call me.” are you commanding them to call you....or allowing them to call you so they don’t get in trouble? It’s probably a little bit of both, but what the child should know is that they shouldn’t be out past midnight!

I think this also gives us a lot of insight into the purpose of the Law as a whole. Hardness of heart is often the basis for lots of sin. The Law and it’s ‘allowances’ was meant to ‘contain’ the effects of that sin. In this case, giving an official certificate of divorce actually protected the woman (who in that culture would have been at a disadvantage).

The Lord’s final declaration on the implications of divorce are usually the hardest pill to swallow here. But here are some things to consider:

Just like he did in the Sermon of the Mount, Jesus establishes the ‘most righteous’ behavior - which is the never get a divorce.

The arguments of the Pharisees focused around “How can I legally get out of my marriage?” instead of “How can I love my spouse and preserve my marriage?” That first line of thinking clearly violated the Second Greatest Commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Divorcing your spouse is not loving them!

Jesus is challenging them, and all of us, to think about the effects of our actions on our “neighbors”. In this case he clearly lays out the implications of divorce in most cases.

This ultimately goes back to what Jesus says: if you love God and love your neighbors, you will ultimately fulfil the Law. You won’t have to argue over issues like this if you just approach every situation asking, “Is what I’m about to do loving God and/or loving my neighbor?”

Now Jesus does give an ‘exception’ to divorce here. Later Paul will give another (if an unbeliever wants to leave a believer). But I don’t think the point is to look for ‘exceptions’. Remember, ‘allowed’ is not the same as ‘command’.

The issue of remarriage is often brought up with this passage, too. All I will say on this is that…it’s complicated. Both sides (for and against) have strong arguments. I encourage every Christian who has gone through divorce to prayerfully consider how God wants them to approach entering into another marriage.

With that said, Jesus words carried much force and anxiety for even the disciples, who wonder out loud if it’s worth getting married.

To which Jesus says, “Maybe so.” More specifically he says that yes, in fact, some people probably shouldn’t get married if they can’t handle it.

He lays out different scenarios by which someone might keep a life of singleness/celibacy. He uses the various examples of eunuchs, with the last one being that some might choose it on purpose for the sake of the Kingdom.

Christians have seemed to go to extremes on this issue. Two observations:

The strong placement on celibacy for clergy by Catholics and Orthodox seems to be a little too extreme in one direction.

However, the almost total ignorance and loss of singleness and celibacy by many Protestant churches and over emphasis on marriage is also a problem.

The truth is, God has not called everyone to marriage. And some should be willing to accept a life of singleness. Paul makes the case that those who are single actually have less distractions and can have an even better relationship with God.

But that also means the church has to be willing to provide a community and relationships for these individuals to thrive. This is often where we fail.

I truly believe that the church could better engage with the LGBT (gay) community if we could create a community and environment where people don’t feel like they have to indulge their sexual desires and have disordered relationships in order to feel “whole” (this also goes for anyone who can’t control their sexual desires, gay or straight, and probably have no business getting married.)

13-15: Are the children the problem?

This brief ‘episode’ is another stoppage that Jesus encounters. The disciples try to stop the children from coming to Jesus, but he rebukes them.

It’s fitting that this happens after a conversation about divorce. Children are the often overlooked victims of divorce. In the ancient world they were also looked down upon. Here Jesus puts them center stage.

It’s almost like the disciples forgot that Jesus had previously told the disciples that they needed to become like children. The fact that He says, “do not hinder them” probably reminded them about what he said about “causing these little ones to stumble”. Not good!

The point is made again: the kingdom of heaven belongs to children. So if we want in, we should become like them!

16-26: More money, more problems

The third stop on the trip comes courtesy of a rich young man.

As someone who has several wealthy family members, this is another passage that I’ve had to wrestle with. But ultimately I find it more beautiful than troubling.

Whereas the children were close to the kingdom, this young man is going to reveal that he is still far from it.

His basic question is, “Teacher, what good deeds do I have to do to have eternal life?” This question first reveals who he thinks Jesus is. He calls Jesus just ‘teacher’ (Mark and Luke add ‘Good teacher’).

Jesus finds his question curious: if he just thinks Jesus is a ‘good teacher’ then why is he asking Jesus about what is ‘good’? As the other Gospels clarify, Jesus makes clear that only God is good. This could be a wink wink at his identity.

But it’s also Jesus probing into a deeper spiritual issue. This man simply wants to know what rules he has to keep to be saved - he is ignoring (perhaps on purpose) the Lord’s identity and role in that salvation.

Jesus doesn’t lecture the man - in fact the Lord’s responses really go down to the man’s level of understanding in order to show how that understanding is ultimately wrong.

First, the man wants to know what he needs to do. To which Jesus says, “Keep the commandments.” (If he had followed Jesus’s teaching to this point, he would know that this could all be summed up as ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’)

But the man makes it known that he doesn’t follow Jesus because he has to ask, “Well, which ones?” Jesus, almost humoring him, says, “How about starting with these commandments?” Notice that all of the commandments listed have to do with loving your neighbor - which is the last command Jesus gives him (it’s a set up!)

The man, feeling probably pretty good about himself says that he’s followed all those commands (surprise, they aren’t difficult!)....but he still feels like he’s missing something. What could it possibly be?

All of those commands are related to the second greatest commandment. What’s missing? Loving the Lord your God!

Do you know which of the ten commandments is most directly related to “Loving the Lord your God”? ‘Have no other gods before me!’ So it’s no surprise that Jesus told him to go sell all his possessions and follow Him!

Jesus is essentially saying, “If you want to be saved, you have to get rid of the idols in your life and love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind - in short, follow me!”

Unfortunately, this is too big of an ask for the young man, because he was rich. Now wealth happened to be his idol (as it is the idol of many people), but I don’t think Jesus is here condemning wealth as in and of itself bad or evil.

This leads Jesus to declare that it is “with difficulty” for a rich person to “enter the kingdom of heaven”

I have had family members lament this story for different reasons. I’ve had one (non-Christian!) family member declare, “You can’t be Christian and be rich.” and another say, “I guess I’ll never get into heaven because I have money.” And maybe if the story ended here those might be true. But it doesn’t!

Guess who is alarmed by this teaching the most? The poor disciples! If this man, who by all accounts was a ‘good person’ couldn’t get into the kingdom. What hope was there for anyone?

And that’s when Jesus gives the most beautiful response: “With God all things are possible.”

No matter how difficult it may appear for someone to enter the kingdom, it’s always possible with God. No matter what idols someone clings to, whether money or otherwise, there is always hope. This is the beauty of the Gospel!

Luke tells us that this actually happened right after this. Just a few verses after Jesus encounters the rich young ruler, he encounters another rich man - a tax collector named Zaccheus. Unlike the rich young ruler, Zaccheus was willing to give up the idol of his wealth and follow Jesus!

19:27-20:16: Equality of the Kingdom

This entire encounter leads Peter to ask Jesus straight up, “If that man giving up his wealth leads to eternal life, then what do we get for giving up everything and following you?”

Jesus makes a few things clear here:

First, the apostles would be justly rewarded, as the twelve of them would “sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” I think this makes it clear that the apostles are special, and form the foundation of the Church.

But what they failed to realize is that lowly fisherman, tax collectors, and revolutionaries receiving such prestige meant that the Kingdom of Heaven is different.

Jesus has to spell it out for them: everyone who gives up their lives for the kingdom will receive back a hundredfold and inherit eternal life. And as the disciples demonstrate, the first will be last, and the last first - there will be equality in the Kingdom.

Of course to get the point across, Jesus has to tell them another parable. It’s pretty simple: everyone ultimately receives the same “payment” no matter when they started “working” in the kingdom.

We should see the beauty and grace in this system. It doesn’t matter when in life you decide to start following Jesus - at age 5, or 95 - all of his followers will be rewarded with eternal life.

But those of us who have been “in the kingdom” for a while, shouldn’t see this as unfair, or get bitter about it. Jesus makes it clear he can do whatever he wants, and allow anyone into his kingdom, no matter how sinful they are. After all, he let you and me in!

Conclusion

Today we saw two difficult teachings of Jesus. But following them ultimately comes down to simply obeying his two commands: Love God and love others!

When we do this, divorce goes down, marriages are successful, idols are destroyed, and the Kingdom is made more complete as sinners of all walks of life are brought into eternal life. Amen.