2 Samuel 14:1-33

Manipulation in David’s Kingdom

David is not in the habit of having wise counselors. We see this primarily in Jonadab who aids in devising the wicked act done to Tamar, one of David’s own daughters. And also, Jonadab and his counsel to David in perhaps attempting to prolong his days in David’s inner circle by providing the king with advice on dealing with Absalom.

Now, Joab in an attempt to bring back Absalom uses the women of Tekoa to convince David to bring Absalom back.

Restoration and reconciliation have not been exercised in any of David’s interaction with Amnon or Absalom. Although Amnon’s sin was so grievous that he was not pursuing restoration or reconciliation, David could have exercised reconciliation by punishing the offender for the sake of his own daughter Tamar.

Likewise, David should have executed the justice and judgment that was well within his power and right as king to judge Amnon but also Absalom in his murdering of Amnon. In neither of these cases is David representing a godly father, a godly king, or most importantly a man of God.

[1] a deceptive sorrow (vv. 1-11)

[2] a dishonest story (vv. 12-20)

[3] a destructive son (vv. 21-33)

[1] a deceptive sorrow (vv. 1-11)

The text leaves open the various reasons as to why Joab uses the woman of Tekoa to bring Absalom back. One of the potential reasons is that Joab saw the state of David over the course of these despondent years and hoped that by bringing Absalom back, it would cure David’s woes.

A second reason, is that Joab may have wanted to plot to kill Absalom. As we know, Joab is not above extending his own execution and justice in the name of the king apart from being ordered to do so, in the killing of Abner. Perhaps Joab, in seeing the way in which the kingdom was beginning to crumble, looked to take matters into his own hands.

Another reason, is that Joab could have perceived Absalom’s success and fame as perhaps an attempt to overthrow David, which certainly becomes the case in the following chapters. As we learn from vv. 25-27, Absalom was obviously well loved for his looks, as was Saul when he was chosen as king. Nonetheless, Joab uses another to appeal to David in hopes of this restoration.

All we are told, is that “Joab put the words in her mouth.” It appears that there is a level of deceitful intent in Joab’s demeanor. This phrase signifies a command based upon a decree, as when the Lord puts His words into the mouth of His own servants.

In Exodus 4:15“You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do.”

Numbers 23:5“And the Lord put a word in Balaam’s mouth and said, “Return to Balak, and thus you shall speak.””

Deuteronomy 18:18“I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their brothers. And I will put my words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him.”

All of these instances we have an authority, expressly dictating to a subordinate the words to proclaim. Perhaps, David was merely unwilling to listen, and Joab found it necessary to enforce such a response so that David would actually act.

The women of Tekoa draws similarities between her seeking David’s judgment with that of Nathan’s. You remember after David has committed adultery, the prophet Nathan uses a parable to draw upon David’s emotions in order to enact justice. In the same way, the woman of Tekoa uses a personal story to hope to draw David into a similar reaction.

Just as in Nathan’s parable, with a rich man who had all and a poor man who had one small lamb, so that woman also has two sons. The one son had killed the other. She makes an appeal of the apparent injustice done to her by saying in verse 7 that she will not have an inheritance.

She highlights two major parts of Old Testament Law in relation to her plea to David. Understanding this is key to realizing the way in which she is rightly appealing to David. Likewise, David, as the king, should have been well versed in the Law of God and held his whole household to the same standards.

Now, the Lord already knew the hearts of his people before Saul or David were even born. He knew their hard hearts and stiff necks would eventually drive them away from the Lord being their King and wanting a human king anyway. He makes provisions for this in Deut. 17.14-17, but in Deuteronomy 17:18–20 the Lord explains just what the king was to do. ““And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel.”

David should have been keeping these close to his heart. Psalm 19:14“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Even David writes in the Psalms about the importance of meditating upon God’s Law.

What does the woman bring to David? How does she appeal to the Law to elicit a response? The first, is that the one who murdered should be brought to justice. Numbers 35:19“The avenger of blood shall himself put the murderer to death; when he meets him, he shall put him to death.”

And as in the case of Absalom, this premeditated murder did not allow for them to seek a city of refuge. Deuteronomy 19:11–13““But if anyone hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him and attacks him and strikes him fatally so that he dies, and he flees into one of these cities, then the elders of his city shall send and take him from there, and hand him over to the avenger of blood, so that he may die. Your eye shall not pity him, but you shall purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, so that it may be well with you.”

The other plea she makes is related to the inheritance. Obviously, this pulls in on the covenant God made with Abraham in giving him a vast amount of descendants.

Deuteronomy 25:5–10““If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel. And if the man does not wish to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, ‘My husband’s brother refuses to perpetuate his brother’s name in Israel; he will not perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.’ Then the elders of his city shall call him and speak to him, and if he persists, saying, ‘I do not wish to take her,’ then his brother’s wife shall go up to him in the presence of the elders and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face. And she shall answer and say, ‘So shall it be done to the man who does not build up his brother’s ho…”

The woman presents a hefty case before David as she appeals to these two major aspects of Old Testament law in hopes of David coming to his own senses and bringing Absalom back.

Not only is she appealing to emotion but the woman appeals to the Lord God upon David taking an oath that he shall indeed promise to keep her “son” safe from harm. To take an oath like this is to call upon the Lord as the ultimate standard and judge. Richard Philipps recognizes that “Thus it was in his passionate desire to be the defender of widows that David fell into the trap laid with respect to his own guilty son” (271–272).

David’s failings continue to pile on. And what is notable is the lack of executing the justice and judgment of God as articulated in His written Word. Fear cannot be a driving force which wedges itself in between us and communion with the Lord.

Use 1. Being true to God’s Word is of great importance.

As we see with David, he neglected to do his diligence in being a father, a husband, and a king, in preferring relationships over the Word of God. As noted, the king was to constantly be meditating upon God’s Law to rightly execute justice. David was not doing this.

David was more in-tuned to safeguarding his kingdom than with true communion with the Triune God. We know the cost of discipleship, Luke 14:26–27““If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”

David should have prioritized the Word of God over his relationships with his own kin. Likewise, you, Christian, must prioritize the Word of God over your own earthly relationships. At the end of the day, people will fail you. As much as you try with all your might to safeguard family and personal relationships over the Word of God, one of those will fail you. God’s Word will not.

God is always faithful to His people, never failing. Though we fail several thousand times in our day, God never fails us. John Flavel writes, “As God did not at first choose you because you were high, so He will not forsake you because you are low.” Our human relationships are often contingent upon how we act toward others. God’s relation with us is how Jesus acted on our behalf. Be true to God’s Word as it is of great importance.

Use 2. Being true to God’s Word assists with repentance.

We can be assured that David was repentant in his sin against Uriah. Yet, it seems as though his repentance could have extended into other areas of his life as well. Yes, the personal sin was dealt with, yet the fruit following was not evident. Repentance is not a one time act where you say you have done it and continue to live in sin. It is a genuine turning away from those behaviors. It is seeking reconciliation with the offended part.

Repentance also bleeds over into other areas of our lives. Our sin makes us aware of our propensity to sin. Surely, David thought he was above sinning as a king in Israel who had united both kingdoms, defeated Saul, and brought the ark back to Jerusalem. Yet, your status in life, whether a leader in the home, a leader in your work place, or a leader in the church, does not absolve you from sinning.

[2] a dishonest story (vv. 12-20)

The intent of the woman becomes all the more prevalent. In verse 13 she turns the tables around on David in really accusing him of not acting as he should have in the case of Absalom and thereby pardoning his sin. Oddly enough, the woman also takes the liberty to rebuke David for not bringing Absalom back. Likewise, she uses God’s character and the nature of sin and death to bring this to bear upon David.

In verse 14, she appeals to the fact that death takes all. Obviously, this is theologically correct. Man is raised up and returned to dust until the final resurrection. Like water which is poured into the dry desert ground, after only minutes, it appears as if water was never there in the first place.

We know this to be a scripturally sound principle, Ecclesiastes 3:20“All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return.” Hebrews 9:27“And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,”

So also is she right that God does devise means to bring back the outcast. Think of the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. The master of the house rejoices when his son returns. But what is the element that is missing in the case of the prodigal son and in the case of Absalom? Is this really something we can attribute to the same situation? It seems as though the woman of Tekoa is completely accurate and true.

Well, she only provides a half-truth. The difference in this situation is that Absalom is not seeking repentance, nor is he contrite in heart. Spence writes in his commentary, “For God requires repentance and change of heart; and there was no sign of contrition on Absalom’s part” (345).

We truly see the danger of relying upon one person’s voice over the voice of God. All of which she said was true up until a point. And she even continue to use emotional appeal to help David change his own mind, telling him he has “wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God” twice (v. 17 and 20). Perhaps since David was emotionally distraught on the death of Amnon and the natural divide of his kingdom, he did not have a clear view of God. So also was the counsel surrounding him poor to say the least.

Phillpps concludes this passage as such, “By pitting God’s justice against the welfare of a son, employing sentimental manipulation, and confusing David’s duty to the nation, the woman of Tekoa used her parable to accomplish the opposite of what Nathan intended through his earlier example. William Blaikie contrasts the two: “Nathan’s parable was designed to rouse the king’s conscience as against his feelings; the woman of Tekoah’s, as prompted by Joab, to rouse his feelings against his conscience” (273).

Use 1. It is incumbent upon Christians to be Bereans when conflict is brought.

When emotional charges are brought forth, our instinct is to fight back with emotions, or deflect the issue. Sometimes, when charges or accusations are brought forth they are legitimate. Other times, they are not. We need the wisdom of the Lord to drive us to a proper resolution in any situation.

Joel Beeke and Nick Thompson co-authored a book entitled Pastors and their Critics. It deals with the type of criticism that pastors/leaders deal with and how to handle it. They provide sound advice which is beneficial for Christians of all walks in recognizing that criticism and complaint comes. Sometimes, they are valid. Other times, they are ways in which the devil causes disunity and spiritual strife in the pastor. Nonetheless, all of it should be fought, backed up with, and supported by Scripture.

Hence, we do what the Bereans did in Acts 17:11“Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.”

Use 2. It is incumbent upon Christians to directly address the individual when issues arise.

Joab should have confronted David. Using the woman of Tekoa is really a passive aggressive way of getting David to do what he should have done. We are given a biblical model in Matthew 18 on how to deal with these particular issues, if someone is in the wrong.

If these steps would have been done, David could have easily recognized his shortcomings. How often is miscommunication often used by Satan to inflict blow upon blow in the lives of Christians? Often, resolution is accomplished by simply addressing the person directly. As Christians, we must seek Christ in reconciling with our brother or sister who has offended us.

Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

2 Thessalonians 3:14–15“If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.”

We reconcile because Christ has reconciled us before the Lord.

[3] a destructive son (vv. 21-33)

Now that Joab has been identified as the one who put the woman to the scheme, David grants Joab his request. Little does Joab realize however, this will not turn out for his own best interests. Only speculation can assume why Joab brought Absalom back, whether in the hopes of restoring Absalom or bringing justice to him. Nonetheless, Joab is negatively impacted.

Even though the king’s son returns, it is still another two years before Absalom comes into the presence of David again. Absalom is given a brief introduction on his appearance. The comparison between him and Saul is striking. Both were considered the most handsome of Israel. Likewise, both tried to kill David, dethroned him, and both would be killed.

Unfortunately, even in the church, these prerequisites are often whom members put in place to be pastors. Rare is it in broad evangelical churches to place godly men in the pulpit. Rather, they look to their charisma and proper dress. Douglas Webster sees this same phenomenon taking place in today’s churches, where celebrity preachers are “winsome, charismatic, executive like pastors who exude warmth and success.… Known more for their humor than for their spirituality, … these pastors lift the spirit, promote optimism and make people feel good about themselves” (quoted in Dale Ralph Davis, 172)

In a similar way, Absalom fits characteristics that are not conducive to godly leadership. Absalom provides four grandchildren to David. It should come as no surprise that Absalom names his own daughter after his sister Tamar, who was maliciously treated by Amnon.

The contention between Absalom and Joab grows even further. It further demonstrates his lack of repentance and godly character. After he pleads to speak with Joab, Absalom employs a form of terrorism to reach Joab’s ears. Rather than confronting Joab directly, he sets Joab’s fields on fire.

We would hope to see true reconciliation and restoration between all of the parties. However, when we deal with men who are inept leaders, or those who continue to struggle in their sins, we do not see the restoration we would hope for.

Rather, where we do see true restoration to those who are wayward sinners is in the person and work of Jesus Christ. Human ways of restoration pale in comparison to the restoration Christ offers us.

Use 1. Christ as our King restores us in our justification.

To be declared righteous. WSC.

Romans 3:26“It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”

Use 2. Christ as our King restores us in our redemption.

Ephesians 1:7“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,”

Use 3. Christ as our King restores us in our reconciliation.

Ephesians 2:13–14“But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility”

Romans 5:10–11“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”