Headship and Love

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Ephesians 5:22 ESV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 ESV
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Ephesians 5:24 NKJV
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:25–26 NKJV
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:27–28 NKJV
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:29–30 NKJV
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Ephesians 5:31–32 NKJV
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:33 NKJV
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Series: Reclaiming Our Families for Christ
Christians take Ephesians 5:22-23 as a practical guide or a manual for marriage.
Tall order, God’s standard for marriage is so high — that calls for a perfect marriage
The mundane, some marriages are on high alert, SOS
Husband and wife driving on a country road...
PATTERN: Going back to Christ’s PATTERN of His relationship with the church helps the marriage to thrive, not perfect
Before we can glean the practical, we need to understand the spiritual.
There are spiritual implications
We should see the bigger picture of Christ’s relationship with the church, truly understanding it leads to a beautiful marriage.
The beauty of marriage unfolds when the beauty of Christ’s marriage to the church is unleashed.
Spiritual Framework of Marriage:
Christ’s Headship of the church.
Christ’s Love for the Church.
Paul used this framework to address issues with marriages in the church:
Headship
Ephesians 5:22 NKJV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Not the same as submitting to the husband like you will submit to the Lord, rather in service to the Lord.
Not to be a slave, not inferiority
The benefits of the husband leading the wife.
Ephesians 5:23 NKJV
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Husband is the head - head and neck joke
The responsibility is on the husband to be a godly leader, and the wife’s protector.
Question: “So a wife, should submit to the husband at all times?”
Pattern
1 Peter 3:1 NKJV
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
Headship is not dictatorship.
Flows from the thought of Ephesians 5:21
Ephesians 5:21 NKJV
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Note this about Submission in Marriage:
a. Submission is Mutual (to one another)
b. Submission is done out of the Fear of God.
c. Submission is within life in the Spirit.
the verb “submitting” is in the participle form related to another action..
Ephesians 5:18 NKJV
18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,
IMage here:
be filled in the Spirit which leads to…
Speaking to one another in Psalms Hymns and spiritual songs
Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord
Always giving thanks to God the Father in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ
Submitting to one another in the fear of God
For the husband and the wife to live in the Spirit, they must serve the Lord together, pray together, grow in faith together —- communion (Brian and Doris)
“Do not be unequally yoked” - it is already a disadvantage.
Ephesians 5:24 NKJV
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Before husbands use this to make your wives subject to you — mutual submission, out of the fear of God, be filled in the Spirit.
Now it is the husband’s turn..
Ephesians 5:25 NKJV
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Tall order - before you run away “I cannot attain to that kind of love” we have to be reminded of How Jesus loved us. Why and how?
Ephesians 5:26 NKJV
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:27 NKJV
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
The Lesson here is Christ’s Love for the Church:
Jesus sacrificed Himself.
Jesus sanctifies the church.
Jesus is glorifying the church.
Talk about each of the above.
Sanctifies - setting apart, Jesus sanctifies the church by the Word of God..
Everything the husband does in relationship with his wife should be in accordance to God’s word and in the pattern of Christ’s love.
sex is for mutual enjoyment, not to use the wife as an object of pleasure.
The husband’s love for the wife should be sacrificing and sanctifying so that it will be satisfying.
Ephesians 5:28–29 NKJV
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
The Lesson of Christ’s Union With the Church.
1 Peter 3:7 NKJV
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Ephesians 5:30–32 NKJV
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
No one should get in the way of marriage. Could be a friend, a coworker..
Ephesians 5:33 NKJV
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Explain the Book: Love and Respect
Crazy Cycle Image Here
Rewarded Cycle Image Here
You honor God when you love and respect (respectively)
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