Slow to Anger

STORY of anger/fight, Multnomah dorm window open/close dispute with Danny Clifton, (“are you serious?” “You’re insane” “I can’t believe you” “No you’re wrong!”

Anger = the feeling of being wronged (real or perceived)

If left unchecked, anger can devastate our life

Anger is a smoke alarm, it “alerts” us to a hurt, longing, or expectations that we have.

STORY of apartment smoke false alarm fiasco Don’t ignore the alarm.

1. Anger is a Secondary Emotion

Ephesians 4:26–27 (NIV)

26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Proverbs 29:22 (NIV)

22 An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.

Being angry is not a sin, but it can quickly lead us into sin

Where does anger come from? Reasons for Anger

Injustice (“I feel wronged”) I was cut off in traffic, fired for no reason, cheated on

Jealousy (“I feel resentment”) not invited to party, “you get to go to work”

Pride (“I feel attacked”) joke at your expense

Embarrassment (“I feel exposed”) secret told

Conflict (“I feel hurt”) Yelled at for 2 hours

Stress/Frustration (“I feel overwhelmed”) I can’t take this anymore

Fatigue (“I feel exhausted”) I’m all out of patience

What about “righteous anger”? What about when I am 100% innocent? = What is our response?

Be careful when listening to your emotions. They are not authoritative.

“In the journey of life, emotions make great companions but terrible leaders” - Judah Smith

Jeremiah 17:9 NIV

9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

·We never think our anger is unhealthy or unjust… only everyone else’s!

2. Watch Your Words

James 1:19–21 (NIV)

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Colossians 3:8 (ESV)

8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

What does anger lead to? Reactions to Anger

Words: swearing, yelling, sarcasm, insults, slander, gossip, overstatements (“you always/”you never”, “you’re just like your father”), the record of wrongs

Actions: violence, expressions (eye rolling), silence, isolation, stonewall

Thoughts: bitterness, hatred, resentment, vows (“I will never forgive you…”)

Do you explode or implode?

Don’t indulge anger. Your anger will pass, but the words you say to others never will.

A moment of hurtful words can inflict a lifetime of hurt

You can’t always control your anger, but you can control your words

PERSONAL Words said to me, words I’ve said

3. Embrace Forgiveness

Matthew 5:21–24 NIV

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Open hands prayer = You can’t let go or receive anything with clinched fists

Let go of anger as quickly as possible, because it never stops growing

Ephesians 4:26 ESV

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

STORY of uncles who haven’t talked in decades

Let go of vindication (your desire to be proven right) you are not judge or jury

Not that the wrong someone did is good, but holding onto the wrong will do me no good.

I will not hold this against them

I let go of my desire to “win”

Let go of vengeance (your desire to settle the score) let God be God

I will not use this as future ammunition

I will not allow anger more room in my heart

Embrace Forgiveness because it allows us to live in freedom

Embrace reconciliation

Matthew 5:9 NIV

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

I will not expect their confession

I will fight to preserve this relationship (as much as it depends on me)

Embrace prayer

I will pray for their best

I will pray for my heart

I will pray for our future

No one can feel hatred towards those for whom they pray” – John Chrysostom’

Walk by the Spirit

only possible by the power of God

Galatians 5:16–26 (ESV)

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.