Reconciliation & Correction (2)

Introduction

If you bring up Matthew 18 most of the time people will say oh that's the chapter on church discipline. I submit to you that if you reducing this text to solely being about church discipline misses a large part of the message in which Jesus is trying to give in this discourse . While the text does have an aspect of church discipline, I submit to you that the overarching lesson that this text is trying to teach is that of reconciliation and correction . So we are going to address that today as the main point of this text reconciliation and correction .

First Passage Explanation of Text

As we begin our examination of the text today , I want to start by looking at the first verse of our Scripture text Matthew 18:15 But I want to look at this verse alongside a verse in the same gospel Matthew 5: 23 . The reason why I want to look at these two texts it's because on the surface it can look like they're addressing 2 different issues but what we are going to see is in essence they are actually addressing the same issue from a different perspective . Let's look at the text .

The New International Version (Chapter 18)

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

The New International Version (Chapter 5)

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

As I stated earlier if you ask people with what Matthew 18 is about most will say it is about church discipline . They will say it tells us how we should deal with someone who brings sin into the church . That statement is not incorrect, but at a deeper level this passage tells us how we should relate to each other . In essence this passage is about reconciliation and correction .

It is important to note That when we examine this text the primary focus in the beginning of the text is not about who has been wronged it is about how we deal with being wronged , how we deal with sin . The Matthew 18: 15 passage speaks from the perspective of someone who notices saying , or has been sinned against . Notice in the Matthew 5:28 passage, the roles are reversed. In m Matthew 18, the person who takes the initiative to go and visit the brother or sister is the person who's been wronged. In chapter 5, It is the person who committed the wrong that takes the initiative. In chapter 18 the initiator is the victim in chapter 5 initiator is not the victim but the perpetrator. The important thing about these two passages is that Jesus' advice is pretty much the same for both parties. Whether you're the one who's been wronged, or the one who's done wrong, you are responsible for seeking reconciliation. We don't get to say “ why should I make the first move? It wasn't me who did wrong , it was the other person . They should reach out to me .”

If you have wrong someone , and you know it, it is indeed your responsibility to reach out to that person , to ask forgiveness, and to seek reconciliation , however; if you are the party that has been wrong, you are also called to attempt to seek reconciliation . Our text says “ If your brother or sister sins go and point out their fault just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ”

Now we should note that the text says if your brother or sister sins This sin could be a sin that you know about it doesn't necessarily have to be a sin against you .

Illustration

Susan was the mother of two young children . One day her youngest child came home and told her what he had learned in children's church that day . Susan was very upset because what her son was explaining was outside of the doctrine of that church. It was not heresy or blasphemy that the boy was being taught but it was something that was outside of the doctrine of that church The teacher in the children's church was a woman named Lynn . Susan began to talk to other parents about how unfit Lynn was to be a teacher . She talked about how Lynn didn't understand their doctrines, she had come from a different type of church and didn't want to take the time to learn and respect what they believed . Over time the things being said got back to Lynn. Lynn asked Susan if she would sit down for coffee with her . At the meeting Lynn expressed that she was troubled because she had heard all of the disparaging things that Susan was saying about her . Susan explained why she was upset , and Lynn admitted that she now realized that there were some things about the church that were different. She explained to Susan that she didn't intend to offend anyone and she certainly did not intend to mislead the children. She apologized and told Susan that she would step down from the children's church and enter into a discipleship process with the children's pastor and the elders. She told Susan that she would talk to the children during children's church and invited her to come into children's church and explain where the mistake was made . Susan's response was that she wasn't going to come to children's church to clean lens mess up for her , she made the mess she needed to clean it up and she needed to do it quickly.

Now I want you to note here that the original reason this meeting was called is because Lynn wanted to point out there the way Susan was talking about her to other parents was not good. She wanted Susan to understand that the way that she was talking about her was causing harm . I also want you to note that Lynn was willing to admit that a problem with what she had done and she was going to try and fix it, but at no point was Susan willing to admit that she has done anything wrong, and she was not willing to give Lynn any grace.

Objections and Questions

Many may actually have a hard time with the fact that the injured party should seek reconciliation . You may ask why should I go out and seek reconciliation from the person who has wronged me . Some might look at Susan and Lynn and say why should Susan apologize for anything all she did was tell people the truth about Lynn’s teaching. The thing to remember is that Susan didn't just make a statement of fact that Lynn was teaching things that were outside of the doctrine, she also said that Lynn didn't want to take the time to learn, this is something that has been proven to be untrue. Lynn has said what she will do to learn and get better. The most important thing that we must remember here is that the ultimate goal is reconciliation . Susan is showing no desire to even attempt reconciliation.

Application

So if you have had that person who has sinned against you go to that Person point out what they have done and perhaps they will hear what you're saying, they will agree to do what is needed to fix the problem and you have won them over . That is what Lynn is trying to do. There was an issue of Susan of talking about her . She goes to Susan to discuss the issue, but Susan is not willing to hear it , she does not think that she is wrong . Sometimes we'll go through this first step of reconciliation and you will win the person over sometimes you won't and that's when we have to go to the second step in the reconciliation process .

Second Passage Explanation of Text

The New International Version (Chapter 18)

16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses\

The presence of multiple witnesses is necessary for the next step in the attempted reconciliation process. Notice that the witnesses are neither for the accused nor the accuser. The purpose of these witnesses is not to bring someone who's going to simply rubber stamp what you say and agree with you because of who you are . These witnesses are to come and to listen to the accusations . They are to hear both sides of the story and honestly assess the situation . These witnesses need to be people of strong Christian character. They need to be people that will be honest about the situation . The witnesses are there so that they can protect both individuals, and function as both referees and provider good judgment.

Illustration

When Susan and Lynn met for the second time they met with the chairman of the elder board each of them brought a couple of individuals with them . Before the meeting started the elder pulled the witnesses to the side and made sure that they understood what their role was. They were not there to be an advocate for either party they were there to referee and to be fair in their judgment of the situation . As the two women began to explain their situation Lynn once again admitted that she erred in the way that she explained things and that she was going to seek guidance from the leader of the children's department as well as the pastor on this particular subject she explained that her issue was not that Susan was upset it was that Susan was saying things that were untrue about her . She stated that Susan had said that she did not want to learn and she did not respect the traditions and doctrines of the church . Lynn said that she was very much willing to learn . She accepted that perhaps she thought she knew more about what it meant to be a part of this particular church then she really did , but she does know what it means to be a Christian. She knows what it means to be a servant of God . She even stated that she would be step down from her position as a teacher for a period of time to undergo more discipleship and training. Susan stated that she didn't believe that Lynn was truly repentant . She felt that Lynn was only doing what she was doing because she had been outed and she was trying to save face. The witnesses listened and from time to time they would interject and toward the end of the conversation they looked at Susan and said it appears that Lynn was trying to remedy the situation . They asked Susan if she could show forgiveness. Susan refused at which point the elder and the other witnesses told Susan that she would have to repent because she was the one that was engaged in sin at this point. Susan said she had no reason to repent then she left.

Application

If you were unable to resolve the situation when you spoke one-on-one and it requires that you go to this second step where you are bringing witnesses, you need to make sure that you search yourself. Make sure that you are choosing to bring people that are automatically going to be on your side. Make sure that you are bringing people who are going to listen and be honest about the situation. Remember the whole reason for this process ++++++++++++*is reconciliation and correction . Sometimes in difficult and heated emotional situations we can be acting improperly as well , so when you bring those witnesses you need to be bringing people who are going to be honest with you and let you know if perhaps the way that you are seeing the situation, the way that you are judging the situation is not completely accurate . This is one of those times when before acting you would want to spend some time in prayer , asking god To reveal to you who these people are that you should take with you 4 this second step in the process . In the case of illustration both Lynn and Susan brought people , and they went to an elder , and fortunately they both brought people who were the right type of people to be witnesses . Unfortunately susan didn't want to hear it . So Lynn is going to have to move forward into the third step of this reconciliation process .

Third Passage Explanation of Text

17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church;e and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

You have gone to the person and talked to them about the issue you have , about the sin that you perceive , and they did not listen . They may even have tried to turn the tables on you and make it seem like you were the one with an issue . After contemplation and prayer you chose two or three other people to go along with you so that they can hear from all parties what is happening. The people you take should have the ability to be fair. They should be good referees and have good judgment . After listening to the wisdom of these other individuals the person still won't listen . So now the text tells us that we need to take it to the church .

What does that mean to take it to the church? Is this something that is brought up in a worship service , is it something that is brought up in a business meeting ? How do we take this issue of sin to the church ? Well the first thing that I will tell you is that I do not believe under any circumstances issues like this should be brought up in worship . Worship is God's time under no circumstances should we be bringing these issues into the time in which you and I and all of us are corporately coming together to praise God . So when should these issues be brought up ? That depends on what the issue is and how the church is governed. In some cases it might come up in a business meeting , or it might come up in a special called meeting . In some cases it might not go before the entire church body but it might go before a group of individuals that the church has entrusted to deal with these types of situations. Whatever method is used, once the issue comes before the church if the person still will not listen the text says to treat them as a Pagan or a tax collector . The goal of the process is always reconciliation. But there are times when reconciliation is impossible. Sometimes there's no admission of wrong, there is no desire for reconciliation, not even when the whole church is calling for it. Sometimes people just want to win . Winning is more important than anything . Sometimes people just want to be right . Being right is more important than anything. In such a case, God says “Treat them as you would a Pagan or a tax collector”

That may sounds harsh to our 21st century ears, but when you here treat them like pagans or tax collectors remember how Jesus related to pagans and tax collectors? He loved them unconditionally. He never gave up on them, he always reached out to them, and he always hoped for reconciliation.

This passage is not calling for us to shun anyone . It is not calling for us to turn our backs on anyone .We are called to love just as Jesus loved . Our love for our wayward brother or sister is to be unconditional . We are not to give up on them , we are to continue to reach out to them , and the door to reconciliation is to remain open so that if the time comes when they want to reconcile, they may walk through the open door of reconciliation.

Illustration

The church that Lynn and Susan attended has what they call the congregational council for reconciliation . This is the group that people go to for the third step in the reconciliation process . It is made-up of the elders , a member of the pastoral staff and several lay members . When the situation between Susan and Lynn was brought before the congregational council for reconciliation. Lynn stated that she had stepped down from her position as a teacher and was undergoing discipleship and taking time to learn more about the doctrines that were specific to the church, she formally apologized to the church and Susan, however; Susan refuse to accept her apology she continued to assert that the only reason that Lynn was doing what she was doing is because she had been caught . She said she did not believe that Lynn was sorry and she refused to accept her apology . Some members of the council asked Susan why she felt that Lynn was not being truthful . Susan failed to articulate any reasons why she did not trust Lynn. The council stated that they were going to accept the measures there Lynn was undergoing and then at some point when it was felt that Lynn had a better understanding she might be allowed to return to teaching . Susan became very angry and questioned the wisdom of the council Some of the council members pleaded with Susan to calm down , but she would not. They pointed out that this type of behavior was disruptive to the body , but Susan would not listen. When the meeting was over Susan got on the phone and began to call around to different members of the church and talk about how the council was being unreasonable and over time the elders and pastoral leadership approach Susan and asked for her to disconnect herself from the church because her behavior was damaging the harmony within the church and was causing emotional distress .

Questions & Objections

For many people this brings up a very important question . The plane riding of the text is clear, if a person does not listen after the third step in the reconciliation process, they are to be treated as a Pagan and a tax collector, but what does that mean, and more importantly how do you do it ? It's important to understand, if a person within the body of Christ does not wish to reconcile in order to show their love and care for their sisters and brothers in Christ and their love and care for God then what they are effectively doing is removing themselves from the body . They are saying that they no longer want to live in the way that Christ has said members of his body , members of his church should live . That's the harsh reality that comes around to bite them and us as well. There's simply no place in the body of Christ for , unresolved conflict. Christ calls us to be a community of peace. Christ calls us to be a community of reconciliation .

Application

The important thing to remember is that this is not a call for the church to completely separate from someone who was a brother or a sister in Christ. The Old Testament gives us an example of what this should look like. In several instances in the Old Testament when certain things happen God commands the people of Israel to place a person outside of the camp . Usually it was because something had happened to make that person unclean . We see an example of this in Numbers 5:1-4 The LORD said to Moses, 2 “Command the Israelites to send away from the camp anyone who has a defiling skin diseasea b or a dischargec of any kind, or who is ceremonially uncleand because of a dead body.e 3 Send away male and female alike; send them outside the camp so they will not defile their camp, where I dwell among them.f” 4 The Israelites did so; they sent them outside the camp. They did just as the LORD had instructed Moses.

When the Israelites did this They were not turning their back on their people . They did not abandon them . They just could not be a part of the camp. God explains in detail why they can't be a part of the camp. Look at what the text says here In verse 3 “sand away male and female alike ; Send them outside the camp so that they will not defile their camp .” The people of God, the church are to strive to be a holy people . That doesn't mean we don't fail, that doesn't mean that we don't fall short, because we do but when we do we are to seek forgiveness from God , and when we cause harm to others we are to seek reconciliation. When others have caused us harm we are to seek to reconcile . When we have in our presence those individuals that refuse to live in a way that God has called for his people to live, those individuals cannot be a part of the community, because by being a part of the community what will happen is that they will drive the community away from God. We have seen this time after time. God did not want those unclean people in the camp because he knew that the uncleanliness would spread throughout the camp . My brothers and sisters when we have the disease of disobedience, the disease of unholiness, that person within the body of christ that does not want to reconcile that does not want to live the way that God has called for his people to live, that person has to be removed from the community so that the disease does not spread . That being said they just go outside the camp but they don't get abandoned. Are you hearing what I'm saying here, they go outside the camp but they don't get abandoned. Jesus is very purposeful in the words that he chose here, he says that after you have gone through this entire process of reconciliation, you have gone to them one-on-one . You have gone to them with witnesses. You have taken the issue to the church, and the person still won't listen, Jesus says to treat them as you would pagans, and tax collectors. It is jesus that is saying this, so if we are going to treat them like pagans and tax collectors we are to treat them like jesus treated pagans and tax collectors . We are to love them. We are to love them unconditionally. We are to always keep our hand outstretched for them, we are to leave the door of reconciliation open so that if they choose to reconcile they will walk through that door of reconciliation and become a part of the community once again . The will come inside the camp.

This is not a text about shunning our fellow human beings . This is not a text about turning away, Jesus didn't turn away . This is a text that is primarily about reconciliation this is a text that is telling us that if we cannot reconcile, then for the protection of the body there must be separation, but this is a text that tells us that even in that separation from the body we do not separate totally we do not cease to love .

Recap and Close

Whether you're the injured party , or If you are the one who has caused the injury , whether you are the one who has been sinned against , or you are the one who has committed to sin Jesus says, go and try to mend the rift, try to heal the relationship. Jesus calls the community of faith to take action in response to conflicts which erupt in the church .

To attempt to resolve these conflicts and have reconciliation we are the 1st go to the person weather we are the person who injured them are we are the person who has been injured we are to go and to attempt reconciliation. We have to go and point out the sin and seek to make the situation right . If this first step doesn't work then we are to pray to ask for God's wisdom in choosing the right people to take with us . We're not taking people who simply will support us , but we're taking wise individuals godly individuals who will listen, who will referee and who will use sound judgment. If we are found to be wrong we are to repent if the other party is found to be wrong hopefully they will repent and we will reconcile . We'll fix the situation, but if that doesn't work we take it to the church in whatever form that may be, not in worship but we take it to the church and if that person still won't listen. for the health of the body they are to be treated as pagans or tax collectors , but even then we don't turn our back on them we love them, we love them unconditionally . We keep our hand outstretched so that if thy wish they can take hold of it . We leave that door of reconciliation open so if the time comes that the person sees the error of their ways they can come and be reconciled back into the body. Just as we have been reconciled with God through the blood of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ . Times come when it seems hard to seek reconciliation , when we attempted to say why should i go to this person to seek reconciliation I am the injured party. When we are so angry so hurt that we don't want to have anything to do with the party that injured us remember that God desires that his people reconcile with each other. Remember that God desires that we not turn our backs on each other . Remember that God who reconciled us to himself through our Lord and savior Jesus Christ desires that we be reconciled to each other. When it's hard to reconcile remember how hard it was for God to reconcile us. Remember the price that Jesus paid for us. Remember that no matter how difficult the reconciliation may be for us, it will never equal the price Jesus paid for us . Seek to be a people who reconcile with each other , let us seek to be a people that are willing to be corrected . Let us seek to be the people , the church, the body that God has called for us to be