A Family’s Faith

Introduction

Well, good morning!

If you have your Bible and I hope that you do, open ‘em up with me Genesis chapter 16…Genesis chapter 16. We’re gonna be in the first six verses this morning.

Listen, when God created man, one of the joys He created for us, it was the family unit, right? After He created everything, after those 6 days…He looked, He reflected…and while everything else was good…there was one thing He said wasn’t. It was that man was alone. Genesis 2:18:

Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

And so, we know…we looked at the first 11 chapters last year…we know, God created woman…and listen, together, Adam and Eve, they formed a family, right? They cleaved to one another and they became fruitful…they multiplied.

But listen, while Adam and Eve brought joy to one another, while they were each other’s greatest blessing…they were also each other’s source of conflict. The greatest hurt and pain they faced, it was the hurt and pain they caused each other, right? We know the story of Genesis 3…how sin entered the world…we know the story of Genesis 4…how their son, Cain killed their other son, Abel. For something to be so great back in Genesis chapter 2, a lot changed in the course of two chapters.

But guys, without spending too much time on this…we have to understand what led to this, what caused this change. Adam, was charged with leading his wife…in fact, God only ever came to him, directly, up until Genesis chapter 3…and so, anything of God’s commands that Eve knew, it came directly from Adam. And so, when Eve wrongly communicated God’s Word to the serpent, it’s a direct result of Adam’s failed leadership and communication. That’s why God said that Adam first sinned not when he ate the fruit…but when he what? Genesis 3:17…when he listened to the voice of his wife, right? He sinned when he passed his leadership responsibilities over to her…when he failed to communicate to her what God actually said.

Listen, as we come to Genesis 16 this morning…continuing our study of Abram, we see the same thing here. We see conflict arise within the family unit because of Abram’s passive leadership and because he fails to communicate God’s Word to those closest to him. He fails to lead them in God’s instructions and in God’s promises. And listen, as a result, it leads to conflict…it leads to hurt and pain.

Now, we have to remember, the family, its still one of God’s greatest blessings to us. Our family, they’re meant to encourage us…edify us…we’re meant to steward them, especially as mom’s and dad’s, in such a way that leads to God’s glory. Even what God’s done in the New Testament for us, through Jesus, His sacrifice, He didn’t just give us salvation…He didn’t just deliver us from sin…but He gave us a new family…a people to build us up. Our family, they’re meant to be a blessing to us. But guys, when we view that family through the lens of our culture…when we act out in the flesh…when our expectations of that family stems from what the world says about ‘em…it distorts what God’s given us and it causes us to give ‘em a faulty view of who God is. How we lead those closest to us, it determines what they think about God. We have to realize that…And listen, I think that’s what we see most here in our passage this morning.

And so listen, if you’re there with me…let’s stand together as we read the first six verses. It says this:

Genesis 16:1–6 (ESV)

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress. And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!” But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.

Thank you, you can be seated.

[Prayer]

If you’re taking notes, I’ve got three points for us this morning. Number one, impatience leads to discontentment…Number two, passivity leads to bad decisions…and then number three, human wisdom leads to anger and hurt.

And so, if you’re following along with me…let’s look at this first point together.

I. Impatience Leads to Discontentment (vv. 1-2a)

Impatience leads to discontentment.

Listen, during Abram’s day…they faced cultural pressures just like us. And just like us, the people of this day, they were so immersed in their culture they didn’t even realize it…they were like fish who didn’t realize they were wet. And listen, in this culture, there was this great pressure to have children, especially sons. Sons, they guaranteed that the family name, it would be carried on, right? Sons showed that you were prosperous and blessed. To be childless during this time, it was a mark of disgrace…of shame. And listen, the pressure was so strong in this culture that if one’s wife couldn’t produce children, the custom, it was for her to give one of her servant girls to her husband as a concubine…and any children that resulted from that union, they’d become the children of the wife.

For Abram, this pressure to have a son, it was actually increased for him. In this culture, names, they have significance…and the name Abram, it meant “father of many,” or “exalted father.” Even Abram’s name change to Abraham later on in Genesis chapter 17, it means “father of a multitude.” And so just imagine being this guy…what it must’ve felt like when these traders would pass through by his tents. “What’s your name?” they’d ask. “Abram.” “Oh, how wonderful!…How many kids do you have?” “None!!!” “None?” I mean, guys, they’d have to hold back their laughter, right? And then maybe he’d say something like, “Yea, but God’s promised to give me a son and He’s promised to make me the father of a great nation.”

Abram probably also felt pressure to have a son because God kept repeating His promise to him, right? Like, he wouldn’t let him forget about it. I mean Abram, he’s probably about 85 at this point…Sarai, she’s about 75…and even with these longer life spans, they were getting to an age where it was almost physically impossible to reproduce. If God was actually gonna come through for Abram and Sarai…it would have to be soon.

That’s the context of how we start this passage off. There’s pressure from all sides…from the culture…from each other. I believe Sarai, she’s just sitting there…she realizes her age…she sees just how much her husband really believes this promise…and I think she feels the pressure to produce. “I mean, its been all these years and God still hasn’t produced a son. I’m the means, right! I’m the woman!…Maybe God’s been waiting on me to do something.” And so, she comes up with this plan to give her maid to Abram.

Hagar…she’s younger…she’s probably attractive. Maybe she was part of the dowry that Pharaoh gave Abram several chapters back, when they went down into Egypt. But long story short, when Sarai offered her servant to Abram…he didn’t hesitate. I mean, it was the cultural norm, right? And so, Abram had sexual relations with Hagar and she became pregnant. And listen, there’s several things we see here as a result of this story.

The biggest thing we see in the first two verses…its that our impatience, it leads to discontentment. Its pretty obvious that what Abram and Sarai want most, its that they want a son, right? Again, not just because the culture’s pressuring them…not just because they want God’s promises…but I think because its what most husbands and wives just naturally want…or should want…they want a family. And listen, I think their desire became so great…that it became an idol for them. And what happens, idols, they lead to impatience. That’s what impatience is…where it comes from. It comes from idols in our lives. When we desire something so greatly…it causes us to no longer wait on God’s timing…it causes us to make rash decisions…it causes us to use the wrong methods to obtaining even godly things sometimes.

And listen, impatience…when it gets a hold of us…it actually causes us to distort truth. Just look at what Sarai says in verse 2, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it maybe that I shall obtain children by her.”

Now, she’s not wrong entirely…God, He’s the author of life, right? And so, she’s not had children yet because God hasn’t allowed it. And so, she goes on and she tells Abram, “Your son, its not gonna come from my body.”

Well, that’s false. Remember, Abram had these same concerns in chapter 15, right? And God said what? “Abram, your son…he’s gonna be from you…he’s gonna be your flesh and blood.” And listen, I know Sarai wasn’t necessarily mentioned in chapter 15…but in this culture, for children to actually inherit the family’s processions and their name…they had to be legitimate. And so, God’s promise, it absolutely included Sarai in that. And so, here she is, taking truth and completely disregarding what God told Abram. What she says here, its false.

And listen, to add to that…impatience, it causes us to become selfish…its no longer about what God wants…its no longer about His glory…its about what I want…what I need. She says, “Do these things so that I shall obtain children by her.” The Hebrew word here, it literally means so that I may “build” from her. There’s selfishness in Sarai’s statement here. It’s arrogance, trying to manipulate the fulfillment of God’s promise.

And listen, its easy to sit back, read this story and blame Sarai here, right? But just like Genesis chapter 2 and 3, who’s really at fault here? Abram! Who did God approach and speak to over and over again? Abram! Who did God promise all these things to? Abram! Like, who should know the promise verbatim? Abram, right?

The reality…it’s that Abram grew impatient with the Lord. We saw signs of that in the last several chapters. And his impatience, it grew into discontentment. He was no longer satisfied with the state of his current life circumstances. I mean, that’s why verse one’s there. “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children.” And so, when his wife came and spoke mistruths about God’s promises, what he do? His discontentment, it made him become content with what he knew to be false.

Listen, I’m gonna say this as plainly as I can…and I hope you know I love you…I hope you know that’s why I feel called to be your pastor, because my heart it burdens for you. There’s things you lead your families into that you know probably aren’t good or right for ‘em…but you do it anyway…you compromise because either you’ve grown impatient or discontent…and the Lord’s provision for you, its no longer good enough. Some of us, we’re more in debt than our non-believing neighbors because we just have to have the newest, nicest things out there…some of us, we’re so in debt because we wanna give our kids what we didn’t have…or we want them to be happy. Some of us we’re so consumed with our own achievement, in our careers or whatever, that we pour ourselves in that and we neglect our families spiritually. We don’t prioritize the church or their discipleship. We become impatient and discontent. And unfortunately that’s become the majority of our families today and not the minority.

Our families are busier…our families are more materialistic…our families are more about the American dream than they’ve ever been before, all because our reliance on God’s provision and God’s promise are shrinking…and our impatience as believers is growing…causing us to become more and more discontent and ultimately more depressed and more anxious. The more we chase the world and the more we rely on the world, the more we’ll become impatient and discontent and depressed.

Don’t let your impatience cause you to become discontent with where God has you…because listen, that discontentment, its gonna cause you to begin compromising what you know to be true…and its gonna cause you make decisions that will impact those closest to you.

Which moves us into point number two.

II. Passivity Leads to Bad Decisions (vv. 2b-4)

Passivity leads to bad decisions.

Listen, while Sarai’s intentions might’ve been good in the beginning, our right motives, they have to be acted out with the right methods, right? When we’re impatient, even when we want the right things…when we act out in our own methods…what we think’s best…oftentimes, it leads to the wrong places.

Because we’re prone to become impatient, when those we love most are hurting or are adamant about something, we’re more likely to give into temptations…we’re more likely to seek what it is they want…versus what we know the Lord wants. And those temptations, when they arise, it causes us to become passive about God’s Word.

Look at the end of verse 2 with me again. It says, “And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.” Now again…Abram knew God’s promise, right? He knew what was gonna happen, what God was saying would happen. It’s the same thing we saw in Genesis chapter 2 and 3. God gave ‘em truth…and instead of listening to God’s instructions, they both heeded the voices of their wives. And remember what God told Adam back in Genesis 3:17, “Because you listened to your wife…cursed is the ground because of you!”

Listen, I wanna address the men here for just a second.

One of the greatest problems in our marriages today, its passive males. And listen, by passive I mean men not assuming responsibility for the spiritual direction of the marriage and family. The man, he just dumps this spiritual responsibility on his wife while he buries himself in his job…and then he tells himself that he’s being responsible by providing for his family.

Let me very very clear here…if you’re not leading your family spiritually, if your wife’s the one doing it, if she’s the reason your family’s here every Sunday…if she’s the one that’s discipling your children…if she’s looking elsewhere for discipleship of herself…not only are you lazy…not only are you failing…but you’ve completely and entirely neglected the responsibly God’s gave and you’ve been unfaithful to the vows you made to your wife.

But listen, look at our passage here…this isn’t just a problem today…it was a problem 4,000 years ago as well. It says in verse 2, “And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.”

In chapter 15, if you remember, we find Abram listening to the Word of God, right? But by chapter 16…just one chapter over, we see him listening to the voice of his wife. Abram, knowing God’s Word…knowing God’s promise…he passively goes along with Sarai’s suggestion here. And then, if you’re paying attention…if you look at verse 6, he tells her to do whatever she thinks is right. He didn’t deal with it himself…he didn’t communicate God’s Word…he didn’t say what he thought would be the righteous decision…he just listened to the voice of his wife and ultimately he allowed Sarai to mistreat Hagar, who was now also his wife…which as a husband, he should’ve protected her as well.

And listen, I wanna say this before I more on…I’m not implying here that its always wrong to listen to your wife. Oftentimes, that’s the smartest, wisest thing you can do as a husband. God’s given us our wives to give us wisdom and insight which we often lack, right? I know for me…my wife, she’s my greatest counselor…when I’m dealing with difficult decisions in ministry or family or whatever, she’s the first place I go. And many times, it’s her counsel I go with…she’s one of the most godliest people I know…she’s selfless, she cares about me, she’ll never counsel me to do something that may bring me harm or hurt. She’s the reason I was able to finally see God’s call on my life as a pastor…because she saw that in me and she called me out. She’s the reason I was able to discern my call to move up here to Cambridge Springs. But men, hear me out…the problem, its not so much in listening to your wife…the problem, its abandoning your responsibility to spiritual lead her when she tells you something you know isn’t from the Lord.

And listen, you might be sitting there thinking, “Alright, where’s all that in the passage here? Like, is Pastor Steven just going on a rant right now?” Guys, read the passage…God, He’s completely absent from these verses…aside from being blamed for Sarai’s inability to conceive. The only time His name’s used, it’s to justify her point of view. Abram didn’t seek God…Abram didn’t bother to ask God whether this decision was right or wrong. I mean, you’d think it was pretty important, right?

I mean, when do we do that as men? When do we stop and just seek God…when do we go to His Word?…Or listen, are we more like Abram here…we hear the voice of our wife or maybe others and we just go with it? You see, in order to lead as men…as husbands…we actually have to be walking with God ourselves, in His Word.

But notice here, God didn’t stop Abram. He couldn’t said audibly, “Abram, don’t do it,” right? But He didn’t…He was silent. In fact, the biblical account here, it indicates that God didn’t talk to Abram again for 13 years…13 years between chapter 15 and chapter 17. And so why didn’t God stop Abram? I think for me, as I read this account…its because Abram didn’t bother to stop and ask the Lord for His counsel. Now, God’s sovereign…His Will, it’ll always happen…but understand this…God doesn’t necessarily stop us if we don’t seek Him with an obedient heart when we’re walking down the wrong path.

I think these verses, they’re so true to life. First a wife pressures her passive husband into a scheme to alleviate her embarrassment in the eyes of society. He goes along with these things and she gets what she wants. But it doesn’t satisfy her, so she blames him for those problems. (Verse 5: “May the wrong done me be upon you,” “It’s your fault!” The NIV reads, “You’re responsible for the wrong I’m suffering.”) Rather than taking responsibility at this point, Abram responds, “Do whatever you want, dear.” He’s acting like a wimp, not a patriarch!

What a nagging wife really wants from her husband, it’s usually not the thing she’s nagging about, right? She wants her husband to take the loving leadership in the home God intended him to take. But so many Christian husbands, they’re just like Abram here. He wants peace, and so he abandons his spiritual leadership to avoid conflict. And it just frustrates his wife. She wants her husband to be the loving, responsible leader in the home. If he doesn’t know what to do, he can at least admit it and say, “Let’s search the Scriptures…seek the mind of the Lord on this matter.” And then he can lead her in doing that.

Guys, passivity, its the problem here…Abram’s passivity, it led to conflict between Sarai and Hagar…bringing hurt and pain to both of ‘em. Common sense should’ve told him that would happen. I mean anytime you introduce another woman into your marriage, you’re gonna have problems…We see that over and over again in the Bible. That’s why it’s God’s design for one man and one woman to be together for life. It’s impossible for us to be sexually involved with multiple people at the same time.

But listen, Abram’s passivity, it’s also given Hagar this false sense of pride, boosting that she’s better than Sarai…and it’s caused even more hurt and pain towards her, right? Abram’s passivity did in sense make it worse and Abram was in a sense, responsible even though it was Sarai’s decision. Abram, being her leader and protector, he should’ve led her and protected her.

Listen, here’s what all this means for us…passivity isn’t just something men struggle with…I bring that up mostly this morning because of the context of the passage…but understand this, just because you have the right motives…just because you wanna do the right thing…it doesn’t always make it right if you don’t use the right methods. When you become passive with God’s Word…what you know it says…if you become passive about your discipleship…it’s 100% of the time gonna lead you into bad situations. This world, it’s always gonna pressure you to do something, to be something…but be careful when you start trying to escape that pressure. God will oftentimes allow that pressure to happen in our lives to drive us to trust Him more. And when we seek Him, He can remove whatever that pressure is…and as He does that, we learn to trust Him more. But guys, if you try and handle things on your own, opposite of what God’s Word tells us…you might find some temporary relief…but you’re gonna find yourself in a worst situation in the end.

If you bail out of your marriage because you’re unhappy, you may find immediate relief…but listen to me, you and your children, they’ll reap long-term painful consequences.

That loan you’re thinking about taking out, it might give you some temporary relief to some poor decisions you’ve made…but when you’ve failed to deal with the actual problem…like what got you into that financial mess to begin with…when you fail to learn how to biblical steward your resources, you’ll find that loan, it’s gonna bring even more hardship on your life down the road.

It’s easier now to let your kids be kids…to let them just do what makes ‘em happy…and so, you invest all their time in baseball or basketball or some other extracurricular thing, its easy to let them make that their life…maybe its to just let ‘em spend all their time on some video game console, never pushing them toward God…but 15 years down the road, when they’re pouring themselves into the things you taught ‘em to…when they’ve gone opposite of God’s goodness…when you’re sitting across from me, asking me, “What did I do wrong?” It’s in those moments, you’re gonna see that your passivity, it almost always leads to bad decisions.

Seek God…seek His Word…there’s nothing this book doesn’t address.

III. Human Wisdom Leads to Anger and Pain (vv. 5-6)

Which leads us to our final point…human wisdom, it just leads to anger and pain.

Guys, I just for the life of me can’t understand why we have so much trouble with this…understanding that our will, our wisdom…it always leads to anger and pain.

Again, just look at verse 6. Abram tells Sarai to do to Hagar what was good in Sarai’s sight. Guys, that’s terrible counsel. He should’ve told her to do what was good in the Lord’s sight.

The Bible says that the greatest command, its to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind…and the second, it’s to love your neighbor as yourself. The Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, it teaches us how to love the Lord and how to love our neighbor…For families, it’s also a blueprint for how to lead ‘em…how to live within ‘em…what’s expected of them.

Dear Christian…let me explain what the Bible lays out about us…who we are! We know God created us in the beginning, that His creation was good…holy…the Bible tells us that. But by Genesis 3, Adam listened to the voice of his wife…in his human wisdom, he brought on more anger and pain than he could’ve ever imagined. Sin entered the world through one man…through one man’s passivity. And by Genesis 6…it says in verse 5 and 6, that God regretted making man because every intention of man’s heart was evil…it grieved Him. Man began to do what was right in their own sight. They gave into the flesh…and from that point on…every man, every woman…they’ve been born with this sin nature…and by choice they’ve decided to turn from a good and gracious God.

Paul says in Romans 1, that we all know God exists…the problem is none of us seek Him because as He says in Romans 3, all fall short of God’s glory…none are righteous. John goes on and says in 1 John 1, that to say we’re without sin, its to not know truth.

The conclusion that you have to understand about the Bible’s message to us…its that we’re entirely and completely depraved in every way…we will do that which is evil and wrong. Our human wisdom, apart from God, it’ll always choose opposite of God. We’ll always act out in the flesh because we’ll selfish people.

And you might be sitting there thinking, “But how was Abram’s response to Sarai selfish? It was about her, right? It was about giving her what she wanted…that’s not selfish?” Abram did that because he didn’t wanna do what was right. He didn’t wanna deal with a nagging wife. He wanted peace and quiet. His response to Sarai was just as much for him as it was for her. And in his wisdom, it led to more anger and hurt. Look at verse 6 again.

Genesis 16:6 (ESV)

But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.

And so, Sarai’s just angry now…and Hagar’s hurt…all because Abram was impatience and passive and because he acted out in his own wisdom.

Listen, I know some of you, you’re just ready for lunch…but please listen to me. Every decision you make, it impacts those closest to you…your friends…your family. And every decision you make apart from God, it will hurt them in some way whether you realize it or not. Either in the short-term or long-term. And you might be thinking, “God isn’t that invested in every detail of my life…He doesn’t care about all the small things.” Go read Psalm 139 again. Every decision you make…either you’ll make them from a fleshly place, that’s gonna lead to anger and hurt…that’s gonna negatively impact those you love most. Or, it’s gonna come from a spirit-filled place…and it’s gonna bring joy, and satisfaction, and fulfillment to those you love most. Do your decisions, every one of them, do they all bring glory to God?

At at the end of the day, how you respond to God’s Word…how much weight you place in God’s Word…how you act out God’s Word…it determines how you lead those closest to you…and how you lead ‘em determines what they think about God. You’re giving them a picture. Either it’ll be that of impatience, discontentment, passivity, human wisdom, pride. Or it’ll be the opposite…patience as you discern God’s will…contentment in every situation, regardless of your means…commitment to God’s Word…godly wisdom that brings joy and satisfaction.

Closing

Guys, in closing…as believers, our sole aim, it’s to bring glory to Christ in everything that we do. Why? Because He’s purchased us…He’s redeemed us…because He’s worthy of all praise and glory…and not just on Sunday mornings. You have life today because of Him. Live like it!

If our lives are to the glory of Christ, we show that by saturating ourselves with His Word…and challenging those we love most to live out the Word with us. Husbands lead your wives…Wives, submit to your husbands, let them lead…Kids, honor mom and dad, obey them as they seek to move the family toward Christ…Church, use your gifts, your time, your energy, your resources, everything you have to edify your brothers and sisters here…demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit as you help push each other into presence of Christ.

Guys, we do all of that by submitting to God’s Word…reading it…learning it…applying it.

Would you bow your head and close your eyes?

Listen, as the praise team comes back up…I just want you to think about how you’ve been leading or interacting with those closest to you. Maybe recently you’ve experienced some kind of issue…did you approach it with patience and contentment? Were you passive in the outcome of that issue? Did your resolution of that issue honor God’s Word? Did you seek His direction and will by going to His Word…going to Him in prayer? Maybe this morning, you just need to repent…maybe you need to ask the Lord for the strength to lead, to make the right decisions, to be committed to the Word. Remember, how you act out God’s Word, it determines how much you love Christ yourself. Jesus said, “If you love me, obey my commands.” Guys, remember, Jesus didn’t just save us…He gave us a piece of Himself through the Spirit. He gave us the means to live righteously. Seek Him, live for Him.

But listen, if you’re here this morning…you’ve never turned to Jesus. You just heard the bad news…that you’re a sinner. Every one of us…we’re all sinners that’ll die without a solution to our problem.

Guys, the Bible, God’s Word…it gives us the solution. Jesus! Jesus, who is God, came and lived a perfect, righteous life…He went to the cross where every one our sins were placed on Him. Again, He was righteous…but He took on our sin so that He could take on the consequences. He died there…experiencing our death…and He took on His own wrath for us. And listen, the best part of all this…its that its all a free gift from God. The Bible says that all we have to do to receive salvation, its to repent and believe. Turn from yourself, turn to Christ and believe that Jesus is Lord, that He raised from the dead. It’s that easy. Repent and believe.

And so listen, as we close this morning, the praise team, they’re gonna play, and I challenge you…turn to Jesus. You can do that where you’re at…you can come talk to me…but repent and believe.

For the rest of us, I just challenge you…seek the Lord and be reminded of His promises to us.

You take this time, and we’ll close in just a moment.

[Prayer]