Accountable to Who?

Confrontation Stinks

When I was 14 or 15 my dad bough a really cool mid 80’s mustang convertible. One of the 5.0 liter V8s. He was going to flip it and make some money off it.

I wasn’t far from getting my license and me and all my buddies loved cars like that so I was lobbying for it to be my car.

My dad’s store was only about 150 or so yards from my house. So one day after I saw he had left for the bank, I went out to the barn, popped the keys in the mustang and drove it to our driveway where I did a few burnouts before driving it back to the barn.

I was not the sharpest tool in the shed, failing to think my dad is going to see the huge tire marks going up the driveway, but I kept on nonetheless.

As I was backing it back into the barn though, I failed to take into account the stabilizer arms on the back of the tractor and backed the taillight right into one of them, creating an almost perfectly round hole in the light.

I pulled forward got out and looked and knew instantly I was cooked.

But what if I just played dumb…that would surely work.

I think it was the next night, my dad asked me “you been driving that mustang?”

To which I responded “What mustang?”

That didn’t work. Pretty sure he said something like “the one that left the tire marks on the driveway.”

And I think I tried one more time… “No it wasn’t me.”

And then he said “so you didn’t put the hole in the taillight?”

And then I knew the gig was up.

I don’t remember what my consequence was, but I know I didn’t drive the mustang again…ever and ended up with my sisters 93 cavalier as my first car. And it didn’t do burnouts.

No one likes to be confronted about something they have done wrong.

Even when we know we are guilty, we hate being called out and held accountable.

One study of on accountability in the workplace revealed that 80% of people see accountability as punishment.

That even having someone point out an area you are not performing in or something you have done wrong is more than just accountability, it is punishment or judgement.

It makes us feel small and exposed, maybe even weak.

But, if you remember what we studied last week, doesn’t small, weak, and vulnerable describe the way into the kingdom of God?

There is value in accountability, if we are willing to listen.

Matthew 18:15-20 is unique to the gospel of Matthew.

No where else in the gospels does Jesus give us a method for holding one another accountable.

These passages have been used in the life of the church for 2000 years to help us navigate how to handle conflict between believers and how we are to hold one another accountable to the Lord as we join together in community.

This passage is one of the most often used to explain the biblical ground and purpose for church membership.

And it is used even outside the church to teach how to better work through conflict in businesses and organizations, even within families and friendships.

We could just dive into the verse today and just walk through the process as Jesus laid it out, and we will get to that, but I think it better to start by pointing out the purpose/goal/aim of biblical accountability before we tackle the how.

Matthew 18:15–20 (CSB)

15 “If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you. 18 Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. 19 Again, truly I tell you, if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.”

Purpose of Biblical Accountability

It seems Jesus might just be dealing with conflict between two believers, but the context seems to suggest that Jesus also has in mind one Christian confronting another Christian because of their sinful actions or patterns.

We often get fooled by the chapter and verse divisions and the headings and subheadings in our modern bibles.

We can assume that those divisions and headings create new, unrelated thoughts.

But that most often isn’t the case.

Verse numbers, chapters, and, obviously, the headings were all added to the original writings.

So in Matthew 18, verse 1-14 would not have had a break between them, but would have continued as Jesus taught.

In the previous verse, Jesus had talked about the need to take our sin seriously and the influence of our sin on those around us.

He finished the section with a parable (a story) about a sheep that had wander away.

Jesus expressing His heart toward the lost and the wayward and how that should be our heart as well.

So in that light Jesus says Matthew 18:15 “15 “If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault...”

That might sound a bit rigid without the context, but in context we can see the heart behind Jesus’s words.

He desires us as His followers to be people who pursue one another.

1) To patiently and lovingly PURSUE.

Jesus values every sheep that is in His care, even and especially the ones who have gone astray.

The sheep in the parable doesn’t seem to have just accidentally wandered off and got lost.

Rather, it seems, the sheep deliberately and consciously ran away from the sheepfold.

So, motivated by love and steadied by patience, the shepherd pursues the wayward sheep.

Love is the motivation for our pursuit of the people God has placed in our lives.

It is easy to come up with reasons we shouldn’t call, or shouldn’t set up a lunch with the person God has laid on our hearts.

Who are we to say something, we are sinners just like them?

What if they get mad?

What if they bring up some sin in my life?

What if…?

And all those are true and real concerns, but what does love look like?

Jesus is saying LOVE PURSUES.

Love puts aside what is comfortable.

It puts aside what is safe.

It puts aside the “what ifs” and it pursues the heart of those who God has brought into our lives.

2) To graciously and carefully RESTORE.

Secondly, our pursuit is always pursuing restoration.

Jesus says is in each step of the process. We desires our pursuit of our brother or sister to lead them to repentance and restoration.

We want them to follow Jesus, to repent (turn away from their sin and turn to Jesus).

That is our aim and our prayer in accountability.

In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul calls out the Corinthian church for not holding one of their church members accountable for sleeping with his father’s wife.

We don’t really know the details, but what we do know is that the church knew about the relationship, but had not done anything about it.

Paul tells them the man must be removed from the congregation and held accountable for his sin.

Later, in 2 Corinthians 2, it seems like Paul is addressing the same situation 1 or 2 years later.

The church seems to have done what Paul had told them, and it seems their actions we effective and the man ultimately repented of his sin.

But the church was slow to restore him.

So Paul tells them it is time forgive, comfort, and reaffirm their love for him.

Even though Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians might sound strong, his heart, his hope, and his prayer was that the man would turn from his sin and turn to Jesus.

When he did, it was time to celebrate and restore their brother.

Our aim and desire in accountability is restoration.

3) To earnestly and faithfully PROTECT.

Going back to the situation in 1 Corinthians 5, Paul speaks to the seriousness of them not confronting their brother in his sin.

1 Corinthians 5:6–7 CSB

6 Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little leaven leavens the whole batch of dough? 7 Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new unleavened batch, as indeed you are. For Christ our Passover lamb has been sacrificed.

Sin has a collateral effect on those around it.

The same thing Jesus said in the first part of Matthew 18, that our sinfulness can lead away the young one in the faith.

On August 1st, 2007, toward the end of rush hour traffic in Minneapolis, MN, the I35 bridge over the Mississippi river collapsed, falling 81 feet to the to the river below.

There were 111 vehicles that were involved in the tragedy, 13 people lost their lives.

The crazy thing was that for years prior, engineers from the Minnesota department of transportation had labeled the bridge “structurally deficient” and yet it had not been shut down.

After the investigation, it was clear that the bridge had several major flaws and was unsafe. The victims and families received $38 million in compensation from the state of Minnesota.

If the warning signs had been heeded, those 13 people might still be alive.

Sin is dangerous, both to the individual and to the church as a whole.

Jesus is saying “For the sake of the Church, we cannot ignore our sin.”

4) To beautifully and humbly PRESENT.

The picture Jesus paints at the end of verse 15 is of reconciliation. “You have gained your brother.”

It reminds us of the joy the father expresses after his prodigal son returns from squandering his inheritance on wild living.

There is a beauty in the process of pursuit and restoration.

It shows the grace of God to forgive us sinners.

It shows the sacrificial love of God for sinners like you and me.

It shows the mission of God to save and restore.

We have an opportunity to present Jesus in a way we might never expect as we humbly, graciously, and lovingly call one another to repentance.

Process of Biblical Accountability

As we walk through the process, we can’t lose sight of the purpose for accountability, otherwise we will get caught in the ditches on either side of the road.

Legalism is one ditch- feel like it is our responsibility and duty to hold those around us accountable to rules, yet doing so without love, grace, or humility.

The other ditch we can fall into is license- feeling the weight of accountability to the extent that we come up with reasons why we shouldn’t or can’t.

This isn’t a touchy-feely passage, but with the purposes in view, how do we hold one another accountable?

1) PERSONAL Accountability

Accountability always starts internally rather than externally.

We are the first level of our own accountability.

John says in John 16 that the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin.

As Christians, we have the Holy Spirit in us (the very presence of God).

So when we sin, the Spirit brings about conviction in us that is meant to lead us to repentance.

When we ignore the Spirit’s conviction, we begin to grow more and more callous to His promptings and can often dive deeper and deeper into our sin.

Our pursuit of Jesus is the key to us strengthening our sense of His conviction and correction in our lives.

2) BROTHERLY Accountability

The second level of biblical accountability is between a brother or sister in Christ.

The loving, patient, humble, and caring pursuit of a brother or sister in Christ who has wandered into sin and away from Jesus defines this step in accountability.

There is deep and helpful wisdom in this that we all must hear for more than just our church lives.

When I worked for the YMCA in Fargo, I worked on a team with quite a few other people.

There is inevitably conflict when your work with others, and we used to say, “the one who gets to the top the quickest is the one who wins.”

It was standard practice after a conflict or mess up that the person would go to our boss for something we could handle together. It seemed like the smallest things often became much larger than they needed to be.

In our efforts to feel supported and affirmed, we often bypass this step and go straight to gathering a following.

Love of our brother/sister starts with us humbly, patiently and graciously coming to them.

3) COMMUNAL Accountability

The next step is where community gets involved.

As I say often “we need one another.” And that so true when it comes to confrontation and accountability.

There is a two-fold reason for inviting 1 or 2 people into the conversation.

One is to help us to discern whether or not we are seeing things with clear eyes.

Are we jumping to conclusions, not hearing correctly, or missing something?

Second is that we inviting other brothers or sisters into the situation to give other voices a chance to call the person to repentance.

There is power and beauty in community.

4) CORPORATE Accountability

These next 2 steps are ones that often catch the most flack.

Our hope and prayer is that we never have to result to this step.

That personal, brotherly, or communal accountability would lead the person to repentance.

but in the case that it doesn’t, the next step is to bring them before the church.

The purpose here isn’t public shame, but a expression of the seriousness of sin and a call to repentance not from 1-3 people, but from the congregation as a whole.

With the desire for restoration at the heart of the matter, we come before the church family at large to express together our love for our brother or sister in Christ and a call for them to turn from their sin and turn to Jesus.

But what if they still refuse to repent?

5) PUNITIVE Accountability

The final step is often referred to as excommunication or the removal of a person from the membership of the church.

It sounds harsh and cold, but listen to what Jesus says:

Matthew 18:17 CSB

17 If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you.

How does Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors? Non-believers?

We grace, kindness, and patience.

He calls them to repentance and spends time answering their questions, teaches them, and cares for their needs.

God calls us to change out relationship, not our care or compassion.

The example we see in Corinthians is of a church who followed this process and saw a brother repentant and restored.

“Where two or three are gather...” isn’t a comfort for the events in church where not many people show.

It is a promise that whatever is decided in front of 2 or 3 witnesses is confirmed by God.

There is authority in a gathered church who is prayerfully seeking God’s help through God’s Word for how to humbly and compassionately care for the others in our faith family who have wandered from the Lord.

God is with us not only when 2-3 people are gathered or with 1000 people are gathered, He is with us always, even when we are alone.

Response

How do we respond to a message like this one?

Like last week, Jesus’s words are a call to all of us to examine ourselves.

How serious am I taking my own sin?

How is my sin effecting those around me?

Am I humble and teachable enough to receive accountability from a brother or sister in Christ?

If not, why not?

Am I humble and compassionate enough to lovingly and carefully hold a follow Christian accountable?

It not, why not?

We can walk away from this sermon today like legalists, looking for opportunities to call others our in their sin, but that is not the response that Jesus wants.

We could also walk away from this sermon saying “isn’t just easier to keep to yourself and not get into other people’s business?”

But is that the way to love?

I know this is a hard message, i have felt it all week, but God’s desire isn’t to pit each other against one another, but to lead us to love one another is a way that seeks the good of one another.

Let’s pray that God will give us the wisdom, boldness, humility and compassion to embrace that mission.