Witness Talk @ St. Paul's YG (Tampa) 8/25/24

Pray - Hail Mary… St. Joseph, pray for us.

How did you find your path?

Introduction - joke/hook

Good evening, everyone! I think I had the chance to meet everyone so far (between bowling at 1UP and being with you all tonight), but my name is Mark DeSio and I am a seminarian for the Diocese of Saint Petersburg. That’s SEMINARIAN, NOT CEMETARIAN (someone recently asked me what it’s like to be a cemetarian and my answer was, “I don’t know” because that’s not what I am). So, being a seminarian means I am preparing (praying, studying, and being formed) to become a priest. I didn’t know this until I entered seminary, but before being ordained, priests go to a seminary for 7-9 years to actively be formed into priests in the way that the Church leads them.

State theme (emphasize)

Now, I don’t know how many of you are called to be priests, but don’t worry, that is not what I am here to share with you today. Becoming a priest IS a major part of my calling (my vocation), but I am hear not only to share with you how I found MY path, but I share it with the hope that it will help you find YOUR path. That is why I am here, to share with you how I found my path to help you find yours.

Background Story

A. I was born and raised in Pinellas County, FL and come from a large, Catholic family. I am one of 6 and my mom was one of 12 which means I have over 40 cousins on one side of the family. I have an uncle who is a priest and most of my family members attended Catholic schools and Mass on Sundays. My family went to Church growing up, we prayed before meals, occasionally would pray a rosary together, and I received all of my sacraments at my home parish, Blessed Sacrament in Seminole where I went to school K-8. For high school, I attended St. Petersburg Catholic until my junior year, then I transferred to a public school, Clearwater high school, and graduated in 2014. That’s when everything changed. We all have our story, and before getting to the point when everything changed, let me share my story leading up to that point. (Mention June 9th conversion later)

My Story

Growing up, I had a deep faith but my focus wasn’t always on it. My childhood dream was to become a professional skateboarder and I was dedicated to hours of practice every day. The desire to be professional eventually fizzled out, but until I was about 13, every waking moment went to skateboarding with other kids in the neighborhood and something about me: I was very social… to a fault. For example, looking back, I realize that I went to school to socialize and was not focused on my faith or learning. By the time middle school rolled around, I was more of the class clown just always looking to have the right amount of fun without getting on my teacher’s bad side. I was a respectful kid because my parents raised me well and I knew the consequences. I had a good reputation for being friendly, outgoing, sociable, and always looking for laughs.

Unfortunately, I did not stay that way. Something shifted in me when I went to high school. By the 8th grade, I had heard what high school was going to be like: the experiences of siblings, cousins, and friends older than me; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Much of it surprised me, but my thought was, if they could all do these things and get away with it: why can’t I? It seemed like high school was a time to do whatever you want, make a name for yourself, become someone who people respect because of how daring you are or how attractive and popular you are (for good reasons or for bad reasons too). My mentality going into high school changed and it completely changed me (for the worse).

In high school, I did anything and everything that would make me popular. Popularity was my goal. Yes, there was the desire for greatness, for friendship, the desire for a relationship that would maybe end in a life-long commitment, but outwardly, all this turned into was having a calloused heart, ruining friendships, damaging my family’s reputation, and living a double-life.

It was a double life because my home and Church life was good and wholesome, but when I was with my friends I was a completely different person. On the weekends, I would go to Church and youth group with my family, but every other moment was looking for the next party, being preoccupied with what everyone else was doing on SM, and getting into trouble. By my sophomore year, I had such a split in who I was with my family and Church and who I was with my friends that I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know how to be myself. Deep down, I was afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, and disrespected. So, I resolved to be something I wasn’t and although my high school years were well before Covid, I found myself wearing a mask everyday and couldn’t break free.

This lasted all the way through my junior year (double life) despite the many graces God gave me. Then, going into my senior year of high school, Jesus changed my life.

When everything changed

The summer before my senior year, my youth group went to Steubenville Orlando. I did not want to go, but my sister was the Youth Minister and I couldn’t get out of it. I didn’t know what adoration was, and I wasn’t interested, but my group went and dragged me along.

I remember the sea of high schoolers around me and at first I was distracted thinking to myself, “Okay, who is normal here? Where are the weirdos, where are the kids like me who don’t want to be here (to cool for school), etc.” Then suddenly, everyone dropped to their knees as the priest exposed the Blessed Sacrament. I knelt routinely like at Mass. All my life, I believed that Jesus is present in the Eucharist, but it was dry in my mind; it wasn’t exciting and even though I believed it was real, it didn’t seem or “appear” real. So I knelt, as usual, in what I thought was just the blind faith we need to have on this side of heaven.

Then I started to realize that many people around were praying from the heart and quietly crying. I didn’t know why and brushed it off. My heart was calloused and I thought to myself (tough guy that I am) I’m not going to cry.

Looking up at the Blessed Sacrament something seemed different. God’s presence was tangible to me and I didn’t know how to articulate it other than by turning to the people next to me from my youth group and saying, “Umm… that’s God.” I was wondering if everyone else was realizing this and I actually wanted to hide. In that moment, the last thing I wanted was for Jesus to see me. I had so many things “hidden” from him, that I didn’t want to come into the light. Maybe if I keep my distance, I’ll be lost in the crowd. Well, Jesus doesn’t lose us in the crowd. Next thing I know, the priest and servers begin processing over with Jesus in the Eucharist. I closed my eyes and looked down. Looking up again at the host as he passed by on my right side, I don’t remember the priests and seminarians being there because I was overwhelmed by the fact that Jesus Christ was passing by me and I know he can see me. Something in my soul just knew that I was seen, that everything about me was known, and that as rough as things were in my life, I was loved. In that encounter with Jesus in his loving presence, I also knew that he was calling me to change. In my prayer, I told the Lord that I was sorry for my sins and that I would change later, but I know that I am going back to the same old group of friends eventually and that I am practically addicted to my habits. I didn’t think that I could change. I didn’t ask for help. And on some level, I didn’t want help because I believed the lie that God wanted to just ruin my fun and make me lose all of my friends. I still went to confession that weekend and thought I would at least try.

I wish I could say that I never went back to the same sins/lifestyle, but that’s not the case. I had a period of a few weeks where I changed and the Lord gave me much grace, but when school started and things got more difficult in my life, I went back to my old ways like a dog to its vomit.

However, a year later, I had a dramatic conversion and looking back, I realize that this encounter with Jesus Christ in the Eucharist at Steubenville Orlando a year earlier, was the catalyst. Other events during my senior year led to the conversion too, but Encountering Jesus at Steubenville was the most important. Because after that encounter with Jesus, my senior year started, I was moved to a different school, and went back to the same type of friends and the same type of sins. By the end of that year, things got really dark. I had many friends and went out often, but a nagging emptiness accompanied it all. On top of that, I was turning 18 and it was no longer a slap on the wrist if you get in trouble, you are more responsible for yourself. Some of my friends never changed and ended up on a destructive path including being arrested. The biggest wake up call for me was in March of my senior year when I received the news that a friend of mine passed away at 17 years old. He was at a party and a group of his friends had a hotel room at PCI on St. Pete Beach. Their parents had an idea there would be alcohol, so took their keys to eliminate the possibility of anyone driving drunk. After midnight, they crossed the street to go to IHOP as it’s open late. When Pat stepped from the curb, he judged it wrong after a night of drinking and smoking. A car hit him and he landed in the next lane. A woman tried to help, but it was too late as an approaching vehicle hit him in the next lane. He died on impact and it shook our entire community. The crazy thing is, that same night, I was crossing the same street about 30 minutes north going to my cousin’s party and was almost hit by a car. Fast forward to two months of wrestling with all of this. I graduated high school miserable and lost.

What happened? How did I go into high school this youthful, energetic kid who wanted the most out of life, to being chewed up, spit out and miserable? At the time, my best friend was not a faithful person and I would come home late after midnight, then finally, one night, I had enough. I began to pray in my room and ask God to change my life. Change my path. Help me to get on the right path because clearly I am going the wrong way and have been going the wrong way for a long time.

I began to pray again, cut out all the people in my life who weren’t leading me to heaven. And asked God for another shot at life. At this point in my life, I was at a crossroads: continue on this path to hell, or turn around and start striving for heaven. I wanted to change and I did, but it was difficult. I didn’t think God could or would forgive me. I still remember the day of my conversion, June 9th 2014. That date has always stuck with me.

To my surprise, Jesus did forgive me. I went to confession, began going to Mass in the state of grace for the first time in a long time and found friends who were leading me to heaven. Where? My old youth group. And one of those friends goes by the name of Stephen Eschenfelder. This guy knew the faith and new how to have a good time without losing your soul. He taught me the faith on a deeper level, brought me into his friendship, and helped me strive for a holy life. Meanwhile, my prayer before God was, Lord, please keep me on the path you have paved for me. I didn’t know exactly what it would look like, so I started with my own desires (the good ones at least). The desires I had were to be a solid Catholic man like my dad and brother in law (who I looked up to), find a wife (get married), have 3 kids, and a Ford F-150 Raptor.

So that’s what I prayed for. I would pray rosaries almost every night. I had other intentions too, but this was at the forefront. Along with the prayer, Lord please keep me on the path you have paved before me. I eventually found that path. God was already leading me toward it.

Finding my path

The more my own plans became a reality, the more dissatisfied I was in them. This led me to ask more deeply and more openly what God had planned for me. At 19 I was going to lunch with a woman I really liked, was going on ride-a-longs with the fire department, and was more into my faith than ever. It was the picture perfect life I wanted yet, it wasn’t what I wanted. The best analogy I’ve used is it’s like the perfect puzzle, but I am the last piece, except I don’t fit. So, I was puzzled. And it led me to ask God, if I don’t belong to this puzzle, which puzzle do I belong to?

I still remember where I was when I first received the call to the priesthood. I was in my work truck and had a 15 minute work break. In that time, I was praying with these circumstances of my life. I asked God what I could do in this situation because I didn’t really want my plan anymore. In that moment, all the blessings of my life flooded my mind and heart. Then the Lord put on my heart to become a priest. I could imagine myself in the future as a priest who sacrificed his own plans for God’s to help save souls. I even found myself desiring it, but thinking that God had in some way erred in calling me. I felt much like St. Peter when Jesus called him: depart from me Lord for I am a sinful man.

Out loud, I said to God: “You want me to be a priest?” It was surprising. After all, I never thought of myself as a priest before that. In fact, I just always assumed my vocation was marriage. The reason is because I thought priests were perfect people and that I missed that boat a long time ago. However, that is not true. Priests have a fallen human nature too.

That day, I called my Uncle Gregg who is a priest and asked if he would get lunch with me. I spilled my life story in about two hours and by the end of it, was hoping he would have an answer. “So, I am I called?” I asked. He replied, “Well it would be nice if I could open up the scroll from heaven and say, yeah that’s it; here is your name on the list. But that is not the way it works. God is calling you to trust in him.” So, I trusted, for a time. Then it got difficult. Then it became a roller coaster, but eventually, I joined seminary in August of 2016.

So, in my life, I encountered Jesus, chose to follow him (even though it took some time), and he led me down the path that he paved before me, which is a journey to heaven as a priest, leading other to heaven also.

It’s incredible to be on the path God wants us on. All of our happiness and our holiness is found in the will of God (the path God has for us). It can be difficult to find and I cannot count the number of obstacles the enemy, the devil, puts in the way to veer us off our path. For me, my struggle was that I didn’t want to be a priest unless I could be a holy one. I learned that we are called to be saints and realized that if I am not a holy priest, I won’t be a good or effective priest. The sacraments will still count, but the ministry will be barren.

What drew you to Divine Mercy?

Time of mercy.

Pope Francis - to the priests in the diocese of Rome, March 6, 2014

Called in the year of mercy as well, but we are in a time of mercy and have been for 30 or more years.

Unprecedented grace and mercy for the whole Church and the entire world.

[L]isten to the voice of the Spirit that speaks to the whole Church in this our time, which is, in fact, the time of mercy. I am certain of this … It is the time of mercy in the whole Church. It was instituted by [St.] John Paul II. He had the “intuition” that this was the time of mercy … It was explicit in [the year] 2000, but it was something that had been maturing in [John Paul’s] heart for some time. He had this intuition in his prayer … It is a consignment that he gave us, but which comes from on High.

This is the promise we have from God, through recent Popes. It comes from on high and is found in the witness of the saints. God’s path for you is to be a saint. I don’t know your particular path (spouse and parent, or priest, nun, religious), but you are called to be a great saint. And you can do so by becoming a MMDM - all it takes is making three consecrations and committing to the spirituality!

This is how I was drawn to Divine Mercy. It’s how the Lord led me to have hope that even someone like me can be a saint. Not only by Divine Mercy, but also through Marian Consecration. These two: Marian Consecration and Divine Mercy are the greatest spiritual weapons we have for becoming great saints in this time of mercy (within the sacramental life of the Church).

Once I entered seminary, I realized that only the holy priests were the ones who really made a difference in the world. At the same time, I learned the Church’s universal call to holiness. So I had a dilemma, I wasn’t holy and needed to find a way to be holy that I could live and teach others. If I didn’t find it, I probably would have given up. However, God in his goodness has led me to it. And the way I found it is in becoming a Marian Missionary of Divine Mercy.

God led me to commit to him in holiness by being committed to a spirituality. The spirituality that God led me to is the spirituality of the MMDMs.

A spirituality.

One among many.

Franciscans, Salesians, Carmelites, (lay members of these apostolates / spiritual movements). Committing to one of these spiritual movements can amount to that radical holiness that we find in the saints. However, if you’re like me, you probably need the easiest of these paths because they are not easy. So, on a path that is by its very nature, difficult, what is the easiest way? I believe this is it and will share how I found that out.

Marian Consecration & Divine Mercy

Hence, become a Marian Missionary of Divine Mercy

To become an MMDM, it’s making 3 consecrations. Consecrations are usually a simple prayer. The first consecration is to the Blessed Mother, the second is to Divine Mercy, and the third is to God the Father.

When I first entered seminary, I had already heard about Marian Consecration from my home parish, Blessed Sacrament. There, my pastor and a group from my parish led the parish in consecrating to Mary. However, when I tried to make the consecration, I lost interest in the retreat and stopped half-way through.

When I got to the seminary, I realized that the Spirit was leading me to consecrate myself to the Blessed Mother. So, I made the 33-day preparation and consecrated to Mary. Everything changed because it is the quickest, easiest, surest means of becoming a saint. And according to Kolbe, that means it is the quicket, easiest, and surest means of winning the whole world for God. St. Louis de Montfort is a secret-teller (not a gossip, he would condemn such sinfulness), but he loves to share the secrets of how the saints became holy.

However, quickly, I learned that I am a little soul. And that even with saints like De Montfort and Kolbe, I am very broken and little. Even with Marian Consecration, I learned that even this easiest way is too difficult for someone as little as me. That’s when Divine Mercy came in. First, it was after I had a conversation with a priest who helped me see that my idea of holiness is not entirely accurate. Mary never had the stigamata. Holiness is something else. Holiness is the merciful love of God being poured into our hearts (Rom 5:5).

Therefore, I needed a path that would lead me to an outpouring of that love. The love that transforms us into saints, great saints, and quickly. Yet this was Mary’s plan all along! She leads us to Jesus in his Divine Mercy and an outpouring of that merciful love.

So, I heard that the same author made three consecrations. First to Mary, then to Mercy, and third to Community. The one to mercy is what I needed. So I made the consecration and it changed my life. It helped me to be a hidden soul who prays for mercy for the whole world, does little things with great love, and strives for boundless trust in the merciful promise of God to make us little souls into saints. This “little way” is my spiritual path! A path that St. Therese of Lisieux describes as being totally straight and totally new.

“But I want to seek out a means of going to heaven by a little way, a way that is very straight, very short, and totally new.”

Later on, I found out that this little way of Therese culminated in her offering to merciful love and that she made such an offering over a 100 years before I had a conversion, but on the same exact day, June 9th.

Finally, I made the third consecration when it came out in 2020. It is a consecration to God the Father based on the Gospel of John. It’s a retreat that teaches us to see the greater glory of God the Father in the Mass. The entire sprituality fits together beautifully and has the aim of making us into true Christians, true children of God without duplicity, and great saints in this time of mercy. It’s about becoming great saints in this time of mercy and winning the whole world for God!

‌Becoming a saint is what it’s all about. It includes everything that God desires for us in our entire existence. And it’s not limited at all really, because it includes eternal life! In the words of the French philosopher, Leon Bloy, “At the twilight of life, there is only one tragedy, not to have been a saint.”

Not just for priests and nuns, but everyone. Saint Alphonsus Liguori story of ordinary woman in Church who became a saint, a great saint

Therese knew the little souls and that there are degrees of perfection in heaven. She wanted to reach the highest degree and says all little souls can do the same!

How do you stay on your path?

I stay on my path by being committed to God through the MMDM Spirituality. What that looks like: Mass, confession, adoration, liturgy of the hours, rosary, divine mercy chaplet, examination of conscience, and living everything that the spirituality entails from the book retreats: devoted to Mary, trusting in Divine Mercy, living in Community (with God and the Church). The more I live it, the more I fulfill God’s will and help others to journey on the path God wants them on too. Anyone can do this! If I can, anyone can. In the words of Saint Fancis of Assisi, “I have been all things unholy; if God can work through me, he can work through anyone.”

Thank you, and God bless.

We don’t have time for a Q&A, but after adoration feel free to pull me aside if you have any questions, I’ll be around. Also, Tyler and I will see you at the Diocesan Youth Rally at STL on 8/31! God bless you all. Stay close to Jesus and always trust in his mercy.