The "One Anothers" Committing to the Hard Work of Unity
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This morning I want to begin a series on the “one another” requirements found in the letters to the New Testament churches.
And I have three introductions for you this morning!
Introduction #1: New Series
Why a series on the “one another” passages?
My goal in this series is to come to a deeper understanding of what it means to be a member of a local New Testament church.
Notice I stated we are going to study the “one another” passages found in the New Testament. But, not just the NT, we are going to narrow our focus to the “one another” passages found only in the letters to the various New Testament churches. Why?
I believe that these “one another” passages outline the duties and privileges of church membership. In other words what it means to be a member, here at Faith, ought to be understood according to these passages. What it looks like to actively be a member should, more and more, fall in line with how the New Testament churches were instructed to treat “one another.”
As we study these “one another” passages they will define for us the solemn agreement or promise or covenant that we make with each other when we become members of this local church.
So ultimately I want to sharpen and clarify exactly what we are promising one another when we covenant together for church membership.
Introduction #2: Passage as a whole
We are going to begin our study in Ephesians 4. This is a very significant “one another” passage that we are going to cover over the next few weeks.
We will eventually study Ephesians 4:1-16. And we need to get in our minds what Paul is primarily doing in this passage as a whole. What is Paul’s main point?
I think Paul’s main point is all about church growth. Did you know that the New Testament expectation for any local church is that it should be a growing church?
Ephesians 4:12–13 (ESV)
12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,
These are all growing words.
Ephesians 4:15–16 (ESV)
15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
Paul is primarily concerned in these 16 verses about a growing thriving New Testament local church.
So as we go through this passage over the next few weeks together we must constantly ask ourselves several important questions if we are to understand Paul’s main point of this text.
What is growth?
What causes growth?
Am I helping or hindering growth in my church?
How can I help my church be a growing body?
Questions come from: The Thriving Church, The True Measure of Church Growth by Deal Taylor
Paul’s aim was to teach the Ephesian believers what it means to be a growing church.
We need to understand what it means to be a growing church.
What things do we need to understand?
Introduction #3: Our specific passage
The first thing Paul begins with talking about a growing church is the need for a healthy body. A healthy body.
Illustration: Tomato plants- blight treatment- a growing plant is a healthy plant or a plant free from disease.
The same is true for a church. A growing church is a healthy church or a church free from disease.
What is the main characteristic of a healthy church? One word: UNITY
Clearly Ephesians 4:1-6 are primarily concerned with unity!
3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Then in vv. 4-6 Paul uses the word “ONE” seven times in two verses. Unity is essential to a growing church!
Paul wanted the Ephesians to understand what it means to be a growing church.
If they were to be a growing church they first needed to become a healthy church or a unified church.
What is required for there to be unity in our local church?
I. Every member engaging in a Spirit-filled worthy walk (1)
I. Every member engaging in a Spirit-filled worthy walk (1)
What causes growth in the church? The church first of all must become healthy. The church must maintain unity. And if that is to happen every member of the body must, with the enabling of the Spirit of God, walk in a worthy manner of their calling.
1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
What is the first word that should jump out at you in this verse? THEREFORE.
What do we do when we run into this word? We find out what the therefore is there for.
Paul is about to give his thesis sentence that will govern the rest of his letter. Everything he says in chapters 4-6 tie back to this imperative.
Paul’s thesis sentence for all of the practical commands for the rest of the letter is this: I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. Everything that he will say over the next three chapters comes back to this thought. Walk worthy of your calling Ephesian believers.
But the weightiness of this command to walk worthy is found in the word “therefore.”
The word “therefore” hangs upon the weight of the incredible doctrine that Paul has just taught over the last three chapters. And if you don’t pause for a moment and consider the weightiness of the doctrine of salvation in Ephesians 1-3 then this critical thesis sentence to walk worthy falls flat.
So let’s take a moment to do just that.
What does the word therefore point back to? Well it points back to the calling to which we have all been called as believers in Christ. What is this calling? What was involved in securing our calling? What did God already do for us? What is God going to do for us? What is this calling that Paul hangs everything upon?
OK, everyone hang on. I’m going to exegete all of Ephesians 1-3. I promise I will have you out of here by 4pm. We will take an intermission shortly.
Let me sum it up by reading one verse.
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,
What do you think of when you read this verse? What word comes to mind? Extravagance, lavishness, opulence, over the top, extremely generous, spare no expense. That is what I think of.
When God saved you, when God blessed you, He gifted to you EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING in the heavenly realms. God spared no expense when it came to our salvation.
Illustration: we always spare expense (at least I do). Booking hotel for the WFBC annual meeting.
God spares no expense for us- he has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.
Listen to all the blessings that are ours in Christ Jesus.
God chose us before the foundation of the world (1:4)
God predestinated us for adoption as His sons (1:5)
We have been given redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ, that is, the forgiveness of all our trespasses (1:7)
According to the full richness of his grace God bend all his unsearchable wisdom and insight for us to accomplish his purpose in us in Christ (1:8-9)
He has given us an unimaginable inheritance (1:11)
We have been sealed by the Holy Spirit so that our inheritance is guaranteed (1:14)
He has set before us an incredible hope of our calling, that is the riches of his glorious inheritance (1:18)
He is working out this hope according to the immeasurable greatness of his power (1:19)
And that is just a brief overview of chapter 1! I would encourage you sometime this week to slowly and carefully mediate on the wonders of your calling as found in Ephesians 1-3. Why?
To give Paul’s imperative the weight it deserves.
1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
Therefore, because we have been blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, I urge you!
That word urge is the word exhort. It has a distinct note of authority. Paul is not pleading with the Ephesians to do him a favor. He is speaking with all authority, I exhort you.
And what did Paul exhort them to do?
Walk in manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.
Worthy- lit. “bringing up the other beam of the scales, bringing into equilibrium, and therefore equivalent.”
Bringing up the other beam of the scales- weight on the one side, product on the other to bring up the other beam of the scale.
What Paul means is that in order for there to be unity in the church, every member must be enabled by the Spirit of God to live in such a way that is in balance or equal to one’s call.
What happens to our conduct when we begin to understand the weightiness of our call?
What did it do to Paul’s conduct? I therefore, a PRISONER for the Lord…
Why is Paul a prisoner? What was Paul? He was Saul. And what was his conduct then? He persecuted the church! For this reason Paul says of himself that he was the chief of all sinners. But, then Paul met Jesus. And Jesus called Paul unto salvation and enlightened the eyes of Paul’s heart so that he might know the hope to which he was called, that is the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
And Paul began walking worthy of his calling. What happened? He became the Apostle to the Gentiles! He was a large part of the missionary work that birthed the church. And as a result he was now in Roman prison.
Friends, that’s what it looks like when we understand the weightiness of our calling and we, with the Spirit’s enablement, begin to walk worthy of that calling.
And if we are going to be a healthy church, a unified church, we need every member to be Spirit-filled, walking worthy of our calling.
Application:
Have you taken the weightiness of your calling for granted? It is so easy to do!
How long has it been since you have taken time to stand and admire all that God has done for you in providing your salvation?
Meditate this week on Ephesians 1-3. Take some time to sing praises to God. Go to God in prayer and thank Him. Ponder the the riches of our glorious inheritance.
What is required for there to be unity in our local church?
II. Every member proactively seeking to maintain unity (2-3)
II. Every member proactively seeking to maintain unity (2-3)
After Paul gives his thesis statement in v.1, he begins to explain in more detail what walking worthy of our calling looks like in the context of a growing church.
In vv. 2-3 Paul gives us specifics of what a worthy walk looks like.
Walk worthy of the calling to which you have been called. How?
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
The first descriptive word of what walking worthy looks like in a healthy church is this: we are to walk-
“with all humility”
This word has the idea of lowliness.
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Humility is the disposition of valuing or assessing yourself appropriately; especially in light of our own sinfulness. This goes back to understanding our calling.
“Humility means you have a realistic view of yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to be somber of gloomy, or that you think of yourself as worthless, walking around with your head hanging down like Eeyore.” —Dean Taylor
“In the Gk. world, with its anthropocentric approach, lowliness is looked on as shameful, to be avoided and overcome by act and thought. In the NT, with its theocentric perspective, the words are used to describe our relationship with God and its effect on how we treat fellow human beings.” (NIDNTTE, 452.)
Humility is viewing yourself as you truly are (without becoming like Eeyore), and yet at the same time you resist having an inflated opinion of yourself.
Unity in a church is impossible when the members of the body think more highly of themselves than they ought to think.
Do you have an overinflated opinion about yourself in your church body?
Why do you come to church? To do come to church to get something out of it? Or to serve?
Do you think church is all about you?
Do you get angry or upset when no one at church showed you the proper level of concern that you deserve?
Are you happy when the music and preaching make you feel good? Are you upset when they don’t?
Are you jealous when someone else is recognized or their preferences are met and your aren’t?
Do you complain when you are passed over for some area of ministry?
“If you are bothered when the church doesn’t fulfill your wishes or expectations, you have a problem with lowliness. You have an inflated view of yourself. You think church is about you. It isn’t.” —Dean Taylor
It is impossible to have a healthy growing church when members think that church is all about them.
Illustration: member wrote me a letter that if I didn’t have an altar call at the end of my sermon this person would leave the church.
We may not be that blunt about it, but don’t we leave for the same reasons? If my preferences are not met then I will go find another church.
Are we walking in humility?
“with all gentleness”
This word has a similar meaning- mildness, the opposite of roughness. It is the idea of strength under control.
We must be sure not to confuse this word with the idea of weakness.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Jesus said he was gentle. Jesus was humble, but he was not weak.
Gentleness is not weakness.
Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary a. Exhortation to Unity (4:1–3)
The word never connotes the idea of weakness. Rather, it implies the conscious exercise of self-control, exhibiting a conscious choice of gentleness as opposed to the use of power for the purpose of retaliation.
Illustration: Do you know how many muscles an elephant has in its trunk? 40,000! Humans have 600 muscles in their entire bodies.
What can an elephant do with those muscles? An angry elephant can flip a car. A tame elephant can gently pick up a piece of fruit from a child’s hand.
Gentleness is not weakness, it is strength under control.
“You’ve heard of a bull in a china shop. It doesn’t have the same ring to it, but some people act like belligerent pachyderms in church, throwing their weight around to get their way.” —Dean Taylor
Illustration: Covid church closings. Deacon 90 page manifesto sent out to all church members without consulting the pastor.
A healthy growing church requires its members to walk in gentleness.
Friends do you walk with strength under control?
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
This is a Spirit-filled activity. Impossible in and of our own strength.
“with patience”
Patient endurance of pain or unhappiness.
state of being able to bear up under provocation, forbearance, patience toward others
We gain the most understanding of this word as it is used of God.
Romans 2:4 (ESV)
4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction,
20 because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water.
Just as God stayed his wrath when he was wronged by our sin, so too we must be willing to patiently endure, we must be willing to stay our impatience and our wrath when wronged by our fellow church members.
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Offenses are going to happen! I, your pastor, will offend you. I will wrong you. I will make you upset. Part of what a growing church, a healthy church looks like is members who have promised each other that they will patiently endure one another.
Disagreements are going to happen in our church body! What are you going to do when those disagreements come?
What are the stereo-typical responses in a church when people get offended?
Some people stop speaking to each other. Is this you? Is there someone in this church body that you are reluctant to speak with because they have offended you?
Some people avoid one another. They sit on opposite sides of the building. They talk in completely different social circles. They don’t give each other the time of day. Is this you? Who do you avoid at church?
One of the most common responses and one of the most saddest responses when conflict happens is what? People pull up stakes and set up camp in another church!
“This becomes a way of life for some people. A church body with people who are hurt, offended, mad, or who migrate from one church to another to escape disagreement and conflict, is sick. It will not thrive in the way God intends. This body needs medicine. It’s called longsuffering.” (patient endurance) —Dean Taylor
“Bearing with one another in love”
Here is our first “one another” statement in our series.
What it means to walk worthily of our calling is specifically defined here as “bearing with one another in love.”
This is part of what we promise each other when we covenant together in church membership.
Our responsibility as church members is to constantly bear with one another in love.”
What does that mean?
A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 3rd ed. (ἀνέχω)
to regard w. tolerance, endure, bear with, put up with
To bear up with one another means we promise to lit. put up with each other.
To put it simply, differences between believers are to be tolerated.
How do we possibly do that? What is the one thing that enables Christians that are annoyed with one another to bear or put up with each other?
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Bearing with one another in love. Guess which Greek word is used here for love!
ἀγάπη- this is a divine love. Do you know defining characteristic of ἀγάπη?
ἀγάπη is self-sacrificial! It is a self-sacrificing kind of love. ἀγάπη love always sacrifices my wants and my needs for the wants and needs of others.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
This is the disposition of people in a healthy growing church.
Illustration: sometimes with my boys they get so out of hand I have to tolerate them. I still love them to death, but they can get on my nerves. But I don’t stop talking to them. I don’t leave them and go find another family. Why? Because I love them.
Members that walk worthy of their calling, and the nitty-gritty of that means that members live out their lives in the church
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
A healthy church is filled with members who don’t think too highly of themselves, who exercise strength under control, who patiently endure painful circumstances without isolating themselves or abandoning the church, who put up with each other and all of it is done in a self-sacrificial divine love.
Let me say this again, this is something you must do. It is also something you are unable to do in your own strength.
Look at the words here in Ephesians 4:2- humility, gentleness, patience, love. Now look at another text.
Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Paul continues with this thought in v. 3
3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
ἀξίως περιπατῆσαι
to walk worthily
τῆς κλήσεως ἧς ἐκλήθητε,
of the calling to which you have been called,
2μετὰ πάσης ταπεινοφροσύνης καὶ πραΰτητος,
With all humility and gentleness
μετὰ μακροθυμίας,
with patient endurance
ἀνεχόμενοι ἀλλήλων ἐν ἀγάπῃ,
constantly bearing with one another in love
3σπουδάζοντες τηρεῖν τὴν ἑνότητα τοῦ πνεύματος
constantly being eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit
ἐν τῷ συνδέσμῳ τῆς εἰρήνης·
in the bond of peace
The final descriptive phrase of what it means to walk worthy of our calling is being eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit.
Being eager- Constantly being zealous, constantly making every effort
We are to make every possible effort to maintain unity.
Notice first of all that you don’t produce unity, the Holy Spirit does. It is the unity of the Sprit. God has already made possible our unity (more on that next week). All we are required to do is to maintain it. Or keep it. Or preserve what is already in existence.
So now the five dollar question, what is unity? Practically speaking in the context of this local church what does it mean for every member to be united with each other?
Positionally we understand that we are united in Christ. The Spirit has united us into the body of Christ and we are all one.
Practically what does that look like in the church?
Who is Paul writing to? Ephesian believers. Both Jew and Gentile. Did they like each other very much? It is kind of like the Jew and Palestinian relationship today. Do they like each other? Now imagine you have a new church made up of both Jew and Palestinian believers. OK, you are now one in Christ- maintain that unity.
What would that look like?
“Walking into church, doing the grip and grin routine, sipping coffee out of a white Styrofoam cup or your favorite travel mug, listening to a teacher, then a preacher, then going home, is NOT engaging in relationship. It is not true togetherness.” —Dean Taylor
That is not unity! So what is unity? And how do we make every effort to maintain it?
Dean Tylor give three actions that you must engage in to unify your church.
1. To have unity, you must cultivate relationships
What kind of relationships? Deep level gospel relationships. Disciple-making is one of the best ways to form these.
You cannot form relationships by sitting in the same padded chairs facing the same direction as everyone else. You must proactively cultivate relationships. This is essential to a healthy growing church.
2. In order to have unity, you must protect relationships
How do you protect relationships?
What causes division in the church? Gossip, slander, pride. If you know of a sin problem in the church talking about that person instead of to them.
What attitudes and dispositions protect unity? Humility, gentleness, patience, putting up with each other in love, making every effort to biblically solve divisions.
3. To have unity, you may need to restore relationships
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
This is what we promise each other when we become members. We promise to be proactive in maintaining and restoring unity with one another.
If we will commit to doing that for one another we will remain a healthy unified church that has the potential for growth!
3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
There is one finally phrase we need to think about this morning.
We must make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Some of you might be wondering, “Pastor Jon, is the unity you are talking about even possible?” Have you seen so-n-so? I don’t think what you are describing can become a reality.
This is why the last part of this verse is so important. This bond of peace is what makes the unity that I have been describing possible.
What is “the bond of peace” that Paul is talking about?
Bond- that which ties together, fastener, fetter
For Christians what is the thing that ties us all together? Now think about the word peace.
We could translate this phrase as “the bond that produces peace.”
Believers have peace with God and with each other because of this bond. What bond ties us all together?
14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility
15 by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace,
16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
17 And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.
18 For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.
Our bond is Christ- He himself is our peace. He has made both Jew and Gentile one.
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Unity with one another is a theological truth. It is more than a possibility because of Christ. Now, go out and practice it! Do your part to maintain it.
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Friends, if we want to be a growing church then we first need to become a healthy church or a unified church.
What is required for there to be unity in our local church?
1. Every member engaging in a Spirit-filled worthy walk
2. Every member proactively seeking to maintain unity
What is growth?
What causes growth?
Am I helping or hindering growth in my church?
How can I help my church be a growing body?
III. Every member humbly understanding the miracle of unity (4-6)
III. Every member humbly understanding the miracle of unity (4-6)