Fathers Day 24

Announcements

Alex Andruch and Jo Fletcher on Thursday

A bit of History.

I’ve recently read a book by Nancy Pearcey The Toxic War on Masculinity.

I wanted to share some of what she has to say. Because, the role of Fathers in our society has changed drastically, and keeps changing.

Once, Fathers seemed to be the centre of Western Civilisation. As the feminists will scream “The Patriarchy”

Today Dad seems disposable:

Betwen 25 & 30% of Australian children will grow up separated from their biological dad, (and that number keeps increasing).

Pearcey quotes articles written in recent years with titles like: “Why Parenting May Not Matter” or by another magazine “Why Parents (Still) Don’t Matter”, and “Children Learn Most from Peers not Parents.”

In TV and Movies, Dads are usually shown as being a little dumb, especially when it comes to children and home life.

I want to give you a little history lesson - not an exhaustive one, hopefully not exhausting either.

Because, CONTEXT MATTERS. We are born into a context, and it helps us respond to that when we understand it a little better!

(When I fully realised that my parents had only found Jesus a couple of years before I was born).

Don’t worry, we will also look at what the Scripture has to say as well.

SLIDE ONE - The Old Normal - Family as an Integrated whole.

Let’s start by looking at the average family for almost all of history.

Here’s what Pearcey says.

“Throughout human history, most people lived on family farms or in peasant villages. Productive work was done in the home or its outbuildings. Work was not a matter of the father’s job, it was the family industry. A man worked alongside his wife and children throughout the day.

PICTURE - A Baker and His family from 1656.

Families were a unit - usually including extended family - who had a SHARED EXISTENCE.

The Father was a central figure, as his profession or trade or business, was THE FAMILY BUSINESS.

(The executioner in the french revolution (who removed people’s craniums from their torsos) his father, and his fathers father had the same job.

SLIDE TWO - FATHER REPRESENTED HIS FAMILY TO THE WORLD

In many ways, the Father WAS the family, and the family WAS the Father.

He gave the family his NAME - Think in the BIble, David son of Jesse. Or our tradition of Last Names

He usually gave the family their OCCUPATION - As I’ve said, but consider “Jesus the Capenters son”.

The Father gave the Family their LOCATION / LAND (Hebrew inheritance laws).

The Father Represented the family POLITICALLY (Elders in the Gate, Greek voting etc).

Modern People often complaint that the Bible is written to and about men. But the amazing thing in the Bible is that anything is written to women at all.

SLIDE THREE - THE FATHER HAD DEFINITE RESPONSIBILITIES

As the head of the home, dad had definite duties.

Physical Wellbeing - Dad needed to provide for his family. You can see how the Proverbs appeal to this duty when it says “ Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children”

Moral and Spiritual Development - Dad was expected to lead his famliy morally. A corrupt family meant a corrupt dad!

Men led the way in religious participation. Christians fathers led daily prayers and devotions and taught their children the Catechism.

Again, Paul appeals to this when he says “Fathers...bring up[your children] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Education and Training (Especially sons).

Dad was responsible for handing on the traditions and skills of his trade.

Dad was often, especially in later centuries, responsible for other education as well.

Of course, this is all a GENERAL OBSERVATION there were plenty of exceptions.

But the point is, that in the imagination of people for most of human history, families have served as MINI-SOCIETIES.

Fathers working WITH their family, spending most of their time AROUND family and playing a vital role in their development.

Some cultures did it better, others worse, the Bible had things to say about how to lead and love etc, but everyone knew DAD MATTERED -

BUT, THEN A BIG CHANGE. THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION

The invention of MASS PRODUCTION of FACTORIES and OFFICES means dad starts to DISSAPPEAR.

And not just a few dads, not just the Soldiers and Sailors, now ALL THE DADS.

SLIDE FOUR - DAD DISAPPEARS

The Industrial Revolution (about 1760 - 1840) was SEISMIC

Pearcy quotes an author who says

“People were suddenly uprooted from the ancient security of family, clan and parish.”

The ancient agrarian way of life was destroyed in one tenth of the time it took for the Roman Empire to fall”

Fathers were simply NOT AT HOME anymore.

Husbands and Wives, who used to WORK ALONGSIDE EACH OTHER, now only saw each other on Evenings and Weekends.

Dad was “Simply not present for day to day decisions in the home, ranging from how to spend money, to raising of children.”

More than that, modern Industry replaced FAMILY WORK.

Whereas before, fathers could pass on their skills to their children, now, Dad’s job was a SPECIALISED SKILL that the children probably didn’t even understand.

How many of us do the same job as our father? Or work for the family business.

Another thing which happened, which I have no time to explain properly, is that women started to be seen as the MORAL AND VIRTUOUS ones.

This was new, women had usually been seen as More Corrupt.

It has to do with men being away, working for money, a MASSIVE rise in Alcholism in the industrial age.

SLIDE FIVE - DAD’s DIMINISHING ROLE

Overtime Dad goes from being a CENTRAL PART OF FAMILY LIFE to being a “BREADWINNER”

A term that doesn’t exist until 200 years ago.

Now, MUM IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MORALS AND RELIGION (Mum takes the kids to church, reads the bible and prays)

Because the Industrial world is SPECIALISED, Dad no longer handles education.

And dad can’t pass on his career or skills.

SO, FATHERS ARE REDUCED TO A SOURCE OF MONEY, AND SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENT.

Dad is there to put bread on the table, and to take the kids fishing and to soccer on the weekends.

You Can Understand Why People Start Wondering What the point is?

Men no longer ASPIRE to fatherhood in the same way, because it’s reduced so much in it’s role.

SLIDE SIX - DITCHING DAD

Because modern fathers have such a limited role, they are often not involved at all.

34% and rising children live without their biological father - or without a dad at all.

FATHERS Become OPTIONAL

Optional for mothers (married to the state).

Optional for children (childcare, schools, private work).

Optional for Men (Status no longer relies on family) Even Kings used to be judged on family (HENRY THE VIII)

NOT JUST DAD - SLIDE SEVEN - Mum Going too

Looking ahead, this isn’t only a father issue now.

As mum joins dad in the workforce, she too is disappearing.

She becomes a weekend, and after hours presence, leaving her children in the care of “professionals”

(I think this is likely to be a massive tragedy)

SLIDE EIGHT - BUT THE WINDS OF CHANGE AND CULTURE HAVE BLOWN APART THE FAMILY

They’ve created a new kind of person - an individual.

Family and Home are no longer the centre of our societies

VOTING DIFFERENCES - Men and women voting against each other.

CHILDCARE CENTRES in every neighbourhood - the homes will be empty, and the family separated.

There are plenty of benefits of individuality - but plenty of negatives too.

It leaves people isolated, it leaves people defenceless against the predations of governments

(Did you know what the Hitler Youth, ISIS Terrorists, and School Shooters have in common? No dad!)

It also leaves people defenceless against the greed and exploitation of money makers.

I was just reading this week about a CEO of a Mining Company who said he wants to “Hold his employees captive all day long” He wants to ban working from home, or flexible hours because “It loses money.” He said he wants his employees - Mums and Dads to come an “Enjoy Work” to drop their “little tykes off” in his daycare centre so that, I assume, they can fulfill their real purpose in life, which is to make money.

Now, that man is wicked, perverse, godless. He has either never heard or ignored the words of Jesus who said “The love of money of is the root of all kinds of evil”.

BECAUSE HERE’S THE THING - DAD IS NOT JUST A “BREADWINNER” - turns out Neither man, nor children lives by bread alone.

SLIDE NINE

Here are some statistics about Fatherlessness: Kids without a father relationship are:

9 Times more likely to commit crimes.

They make up 85% of all youth prisoners, and the vast majority of all prisoners in general.

85% more likely to have ADHD or another mental disorder and are much more likely to commmit suicide.

They have a lower IQ, worse educational outcomes, earn much less money, are more likely to be unemployed.

Three times more likely to be hospitalised, and to suffer from things like Hypertension, Headaches and stomachaces

Girls experience earlier puberty, are 111% more likely to have a teenage pregnancy and 5 times as likely to be sexually abused

The list literally goes on for ages! And new stuff is added all the time.

James says, “True religion is caring for widows and orphans in their distress’” and there is plenty of distress!

So - This is a great crisis. I think it’s the major crisis of our generation.

We have lost a view of ourselves as connected in to each other.

We have adopted an industrial age, factory like, view of ourselves as individuals. As money makers, as pleasure seekers.

I said earlier this year that I’m not a huge fan of “kids church” and this is one major reason why.

what that mining CEO said is what many churches say “Drop your little tykes off next door, and come enjoy church.”

A fragmented, fatherless and motherless view.

SO - WHAT DO WE DO?

People are trying to figure this out.

One response, which is not very realistic, is the kind of attempt to go back to before the industrial age. The Trad-Wife tik tok star who churns butter by hand.

But that’s never the betst response, we cannot restore that world, we have to figure out how to live in this one.

LET’S TALK ABOUT US FOR A MOMENT.

The Industrial Revolution, the Culture of Individualism calls to the sin within us.

Every culture does - Tribal Cultures with too many family ties.

It allows us. and encourges us to live Selfishly, independently.

I think we each have to ask ourselves, “what needs to change in me?”

What’s my Vision for What God wants me to do with my life.

Have I adopted a view of myself as merely a money making cog in a machine?

I was thinking about 1 John, where he says “I write to you, children, young men and fathers.”

And, while it’s not the point of the passage, i noticed the progression.

Child, young man (or woman) and father.

Child = Dependent and Selfish.

ELLIE

Young Man - Independent and Selfish.

That’s where sin wants us to stop.

It wants us to spend our lives on ourselves. To think only about money and holidays, and whether we get to watch our favourite TV Show.

Father, or at least Good Fathers = (Dependable and Selfless)

SLIDE TEN - GROWING UP

I believe everyone is called to grow up and become a father.

Biologically or not.

To take on responsibility and commitment to others.

1 Corinthians 4:15 (ESV)

For though you have countless [TEACHERS] in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

What’s the difference between a teacher or a guide and a Father?

Information vs Relationship

Commitment

Heart

Pay - ( I would owe my father an untold amount)

See, a teacher is a hired hand. It’s a temporary relationship built on an exchange of goods You give me money, I’ll give you information.

Paul says they have countless guides - We have more than countless!

The Youtuber & Tik Tokker

The daycare worker

The school teacher

The therapist (Would we need therapy if we had better relationships)

The professional Mentor

(A bit like Japanese hug cafe’s and rent-a-boyfriend_

There are meant to be people we are family to.

Dad, your kids need more than just your money or your play.

PRACTICALLY, to the DADS

I think in Gods eyes we are still responsible for caring about every aspect of our childrens lives - CATECHISM books

You are not just a breadwinner.

God as the perfect Father.

John 10:11–15 ESV

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

In every age, pre-industrial - industrial - modern - internet - and beyond - we have a model.

Jesus, who is commited and faithful and who knows us.

Maybe following him means giving up a promotion to spend more time with family.

Maybe it means doing less of a hobby to sit down and teach your children the catechism

Maybe it means walking with someone who isn’t biologically related, but who you can be committed to and serve well.

1 John 3:1–2 ESV

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.