Humility And Conflict | Philippians 2:1-4

Opening Remarks:

Back in Philippians

This is a model church, but even model churches have issues to deal with. Apparently there were issues of disunity that were threatening the health and effectiveness of the church.

And the lesson for us is, if disunity could happen in Philippi, it can happen in Sioux Falls.

So we’re going to dig a little deeper into the first four verses of chapter 2, then try to start in vs. 5 next time.

READ Phil. 2:1-4

TITLE Humility and Conflict

SUBTITLE How To Spot Humility When There’s A Conflict

PRAY

Introduction:

One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is to be humble.

We’re proud by nature. We’re born with a strong sense of self.

Someone said, “The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.”

Elon Musk said, “Don’t wanna brag, but I’m the best at humility.”

To operate by humility instead of pride is perhaps life’s hardest lesson.

John stated that all sin comes from the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.

Self is at the source of most of our sin.

And without humility, God’s people can’t accomplish what He desires us to.

As a church, God desires a spirit of unity.

But as we saw last week, a spirit of unity can only be present if there’s first a spirit of humility.

The connection between humility and unity is undeniable.

Proverbs 13:10 “Only by pride cometh contention”

If there’s contention or strife, pride is always involved.

And the opposite is also true - if unity is desired, it can only happen through humility.

If you want unity, you must have humility.

And since Paul’s message in Philippians is about joy, the conclusion we can make is a desire for joyful unity is dependent on choosing humility.

A church can’t have unity without humility.

And a church can’t have joy with unity.

So humility is the key to the health of our church.

How do we remember to have humility? Where does it come from?

Two points from Philippians 1 & 2 we looked at last week were:

Humility comes when we Remember the Cause Of Christ.

Philippians 1:27 speaks of striving together for the faith of the Gospel.

When you remember the cause or the mission, it helps you to humbly accept whatever happens because there’s something bigger depending on you.

You can choose humility when you remember you’re just a small piece to a big puzzle.

So humility comes when we Remember the Cause of Christ.

Second, humility comes when we Embrace the Mind of Christ.

Paul makes an appeal to humility based on Jesus Christ’s example and impact on our lives.

A. Think about the impact in our lives simply because we know Christ.

Consolation in Christ - This means we are encouraged because of our relationship with Christ.

The word “consolation” is “paraklesis,” which means “one called alongside to help.”

Illustration: Back in January we went to visit my wife’s folks in California. We were driving on the freeway there one night and our suburban started smoking. We thought it was on fire, but it turns out an adapter busted and just needed to be replaced. But while we waited there for about 20 minutes for my wife’s dad to come pick us up, it was tense because of so much traffic and cars and how fast they were driving by. It was a blessed sight when we saw her dad’s van coming to pick us up.

That’s the idea of “paraklesis” or consolation. Someone called to help. There will be times when you need encouragement from someone else and you won’t find it. That’s hard. But in Jesus Christ, we have a promise of an all-sufficient never leaving or forsaking kind of relationship. He always answers. We have consolation in Christ.

And Paul says, “If you have that in Christ, you ought to grant it to others. Always be ready to encourage when called.”

Comfort of Love - Jesus loved you and I when we least deserved it. He loves me when I’m angry, when I’m wrong, when I am unlovely. I can count on that.

So Paul says, “If you have that in Christ, then love others like that. Even when someone offends me. Even when they are wrong. Even when they are unlovely.

Fellowship of the Spirit - We have the indwelling Holy Spirit in our lives and that draws us into fellowship with God and everyone in Christ. The fellowship we have in the Spirit is two-fold: toward God and toward Christians. In fact, John the Beloved said in 1 John 4:20, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar…”

You can’t genuinely love God and hate other Christians. The HS is the common bond that allows us to have a good relationship with others. If God fellowships with you through the HS, then you ought to fellowship with others through the HS.

Bowels and Mercies - This is affection and compassion. This is the emotional piece of God’s love. Jesus saw the multitude and had great compassion because they were desperate and downcast without a shepherd. There ought to be a sense of compassion and mercy when you deal with other Christians, because Christ . If Christ has affection and mercy toward us, we ought to have it toward others.

So Paul uses the impact of Christ in our lives to motivate us to treat others that way.

And he says, “Here’s what it looks like”

Here’s how to spot humility:

I. You know you’re humble if, in a conflict, you put unity above getting your own way. Vs. 2

This goes back to the Cause Of Christ and the Gospel. We have to buy in to the fact that there’s a bigger cause than me getting what I want.

Be Likeminded - The word “mind” is a verb that means “thinking the same thing.” It occurs twice in this verse, and it points more to attitude than knowledge. We think, “Mind” as meaning smarts or intellect, but here it is more behavioral.

Similar to how someone might say, “He had a mind to take that job” or “She had a mind to go shopping.” So when it says, “like-minded” or “one mind,” it’s not just in how you think, it’s that you are determined to behavior toward each other in a certain way.

This is where we have to be careful about thinking unity simply happens. It never occurs by accident. We have to have a mind to be unified.

We don’t look at a long-time married couple and think, “Oh, they’re just lucky that they always get along.” That’s not reality. But if a couple has a mind to dwell in harmony, then they can have unity. But it takes a choice on both sides.

Paul’s thought here is that we all have a mind to be unified around the Gospel rather than getting our own way.

There are things, as an individual, that you are going to have to let go of for the sake of unity. Be likeminded, not that you have to have the same opinion every time, but that you are both minded toward unity.

Having The Same Love - We find out a couple of verses later he means the love that Christ has. The love that He proved when He came to earth in the flesh and died on a cross. A love that says, “I’ll give up my rights for someone else’s sake.” He gave up His position next to the Father to come to earth.

And yet we find it hard to submit to something at church because it’s not how we would do it.

Or we struggle to have a good attitude at work because our idea didn’t get enough attention.

We have conflict at home because what you prefer doesn’t always happen.

But the same love that Christ had for us means we have to let go of our desires for the sake of other people.

United In Spirit - This literally means “one in soul.” What does this have to do with unity? Well, the idea is that unity is not in structure, although that matters in any church or workplace. Unity doesn’t only mean organized and running smoothly, although we ought to strive for that.

What Paul is saying is unity is more than outward action or appearance. Unity should be found on a heart level.

Illustration: Little girl whose dad asked her to sit down at the table and she did. But through clenched teeth she said, “But I’m standing up on the inside.”

That’s not exactly the spirit God is looking for. And it ought not be that way in a church either. It’s not just about conforming so life is easier. It’s about a heart level desire to do right for the sake of the whole.

Of One Mind - This phrase is literally, “being minded on the one thing.” Determined to strive for the one most important thing. Again, this goes back to the cause. If we don’t have unity and love and cooperation, it blows up our ability to be a witness to the world.

John 13:34–35 - Jesus said, “…love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Our treatment of each other impacts the effectiveness of our testimony.

In any conflict, our first thought ought not be, “How can I get my way?” Instead, it ought to be, "Is my focus on pleasing myself or exalting Christ?”

If there’s a conflict, and both sides have a mind to exalt Christ rather than get their own way, can you imagine how few issues of disunity we’d have?

Do you realize how many conflicts that would resolve without them becoming a big deal?

Do you recognize how many problems with drama that would automatically solve?

Humility is easily spotted when someone puts unity above getting their own way.

II. Humility requires an US attitude, not a ME attitude. vs. 3

CS Lewis, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.”

Our culture bombards us with these thoughts: Stand up for your rights, be assertive, don’t stop until you get what you want, believe in yourself, etc.

But that mindset never targets the root problem of our lives - Pride. Self.

The American way is self-fulfillment, self-expression, personal freedom, individuality, my truth. And the longer that’s ingrained in us, the more we become convinced that “I matter most. My needs and right are bigger than the whole. My freedom is more important than anyone else’s.”

But consider, if Christ had that mindset, He would have never come to earth.

So Paul says, “Do nothing through strife or vainglory.”

Strife is selfishness. Vain glory means to be puffed up with an unwarranted sense of importance.

A. B. Bruce, wrote, “The whole aim of Satanic policy is to get self-interest recognized as the chief end of man.” (The Training of the Twelve)

That’s so true. That was Satan in Heaven before he was cast down. “I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me.” Then he convinced Eve to put her self-interest above obedience and the good of the human race. That’s been his MO the whole time.

But understand, self-interest will never help unity. Because it creates a ME attitude, instead of an US attitude.

In contrast, Paul says, “Be lowly in mind, and esteem others better than self.”

It’s interesting that there are a lot people that have low self-esteem and feel bad about themselves and hate themselves and think they’re worthless, but in doing so they are supremely self-focused and selfish. Paul says, “It’s not about feeling bad about yourself. It’s about not thinking of yourself at all.”

He says, Esteem other better than yourself. Stop thinking about yourself. Think about others.

And this is the third way to spot humility:

I. You know you’re humble if, in a conflict, you put unity above getting your own way. Vs. 2

II. You know you’re humble if, in a conflict, you have have an US attitude, not a ME attitude. vs. 3

III. You know you’re humble if, in a conflict, you put the interests of others above your own. vs. 4

I read about a newlywed couple and the husband went up to a ticket counter to buy tickets for something, and out of habit, he bought only one. When his new wife said, “Are you forgetting something?” he quickly said, “You’re right, honey. I completely forgot to get one for myself.” Good recovery.

That’s human nature. Our interests come first. Our needs are first. Others, second, if at all.

But you can spot a humble person if they put the needs of others above self. If they look not at their own things, but on the things of others.

This is such a big lesson to learn as a human being.

We’re born so selfish. Infants couldn’t care at all about the needs of mom. They want to eat. They want to be changed. And they don’t care who hears about it.

There’s a lack of self-awareness when you’re young. You don’t care who sees you, you don’t care who’s watching. You just want to do what you feel like doing when you feel like doing it.

But we eventually grow out of it, or we should.

And how unbecoming it is when someone older couldn’t care less about others and their needs. How sad that is.

And it happens in conflict all the time. It’s amazing how angry and spirited and bold people can be when they aren’t getting their way.

When a child doesn’t get their way, we halfway expect them to throw a fit about it. If that’s a habit that happens often, that’s a parent issue, but that’s what kids do.

But how grievous when someone who:

Has benefitted from a relationship with Christ through encouragement, love, fellowship and mercy refuses to offer those same things to a fellow Christian.

How sad when someone who has been saved refuses to have a mind to work together, or won’t choose to show love to others, or refuses to be united in spirit.

When we choose to get our own way, we align with the world.

When we have a ME attitude instead of an US attitude, we act like the culture.

When we are more about self-interest than meeting the needs of others, we aren’t being like Christ.

The key to resolving and avoiding conflict is to die to self and lift others up for the cause of Christ.

This ought to happen at home, husbands and wife. Lot of conflict takes place in our homes. Die to self, lift others up for the cause of Christ.

Too many conflicts happen in churches. How to fix? Die to self, lift others up for the sake of Christ.

There’s conflict everywhere. Workplaces, schools, on the streets, warzones - how do we avoid and resolve? Die to self and lift others up for cause of Christ.

What if the other person doesn’t know the Lord or won’t submit to these truths too?

Does the passage give any circumstance in which it’s okay to ignore this command? No? Then simply do what you can control and leave the rest up to God.