A Mature Church Honors Widows

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Every day in the United States, 2,800 women become widows.

With an average age of widows being just 59, many of these women face not only emotional loss but also financial and social challenges.

These numbers remind us that widowhood isn’t just a distant issue from the past but a present reality in our communities.

Today, as we turn to Scripture, we’ll explore God’s heart for widows and discover how we, as the church, are called to care for and support them…

Main Idea: Widows are a Vital Part of Christ’s Church

Remember, we are walking through what it means for a local church to be mature.

I believe a mature Christian reproduces and a mature church reproduces as well.

But before we can reproduce well, we must ensure we are functioning on all cylinders. That we are doing church properly.

Frankly, if I were Paul, I don’t know that I would have covered this subject.

But Paul did and so we shall. And we shall find some application for our lives in the 21st century.

Again, friends, this is the beauty and power of expository preaching. We are forced to cover things we normally would not.

So remember as we move through these verses - Widows are a vital part of Christ’s church.

And the first point we see Paul make is crucial…

1. Honoring Widows is Pleasing to God (vs. 3-4)

1 Timothy 5:3–4 (ESV)

Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

What is a true widow?

Who knew there was such a thing?

Does this mean there is a false widow?

Paul uses this section of Scripture to help the church in Ephesus to know how to handle widows.

Paul is clear that the church is to honor widows that are truly widows.

Churches are to take this responsibility seriously.

But why does Paul make this distinction, “those who are TRULY widows?”

Honestly, he will clear that up for us later in this passage.

But in this section, he wants the church to understand the priority of care for these dear women of God.

Within the local church there are two groups of people.

The family of God spiritually and the individual families within the family of God.

For both groups, the church, and the families within the church.

Between these two groups, they should ensure the widow are honored. It’s that important.

According to verse 4, the priority of care for the widow should first go to the immediate family before the church family steps in.

If a Christian family desires to be pleasing to the Lord, they must ensure their mom, their grandma, is well taken care of.

Do you think Paul pointed to the Old Testament law? Yes, of course he did.

Exodus 20:12 (ESV)

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

In fact, in Paul’s letter to Ephesus, he reiterates this command…

Ephesians 6:2 (ESV)

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

Friends, you must understand something about the first century. They did not have the governmental support system that we have today.

The people of God had to step up and care for those who could not care for themselves.

The people of God had to ensure that these women, in particular, would be cared for. If not, who would do this for them?

We as a church must ensure that the women among us who are vulnerable must be cared for.

To be clear, there is a caveat in this that Paul will instruct us on, but we are to MAKE SURE that care is being received.

We, the church body as well as the leadership are responsible for the vulnerable in our church family.

Widows and orphans are near and dear to the heart of God - and so they should be near to our heart as well.

Exodus 22:22 (ESV)

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

Zechariah 7:9–10 (ESV)

“Thus says the Lord of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.”

James 1:27 (ESV)

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Imagine a long, heavy chain. Each link represents a person within a family. The stronger links naturally hold the chain together, but over time, some links become weaker—through age, illness, or life circumstances. In ancient times, if one link of a chain broke, the entire chain could collapse, making it useless. However, if those around the weak link supported and reinforced it, the chain would remain strong and functional.

The widow in this passage represents a potentially weak link in the chain of the church. Paul reminds us that the strength of the church is measured by how well it supports its most vulnerable members. If the church doesn’t reinforce and care for the widow, the chain of love and support can break, leaving the vulnerable isolated.

Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, a church honors God when it takes the time to care for its most vulnerable members. It shows that we value everyone, not just the strong, but also those who need special care and attention.

I know for a fact our deacons take this seriously. We have money set aside to help the vulnerable. The better we are at helping true widows in need, the more responsibility God will entrust to us. But Families must step up first.

Review - Widows are a Vital Part of Christ’s Church

Honoring Widows is Pleasing to God

2. Godly Widows Please the Lord (vs. 5-6)

1 Timothy 5:5–6 (ESV)

She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

This dear widow was at the mercy of the church. As I have argued, being widowed was a vulnerable position for her to be in.

To be a woman who no longer had the support of her husband was a frightening place for her in a culture where there was no governmental support system. She is truly alone familially. This is Paul’s point in the verse.

But in order for her to “qualify” for church support, there had to be some characteristics that were true about her.

This widow is a godly woman.

What makes her godly? What are her characteristics?

Paul tells us. Look again at the verse…

1 Timothy 5:5–6 (ESV)

She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

Let’s take a moment and look at the two positive characteristics mentioned.

She is a woman of deep faith - she sets her hope on God.

She is a woman of stedfast prayer - she does not stop praying and supplicating. Her stedfast prayer is day and night (joes mom I know a woman in town who is practically blind and cannot due what she used to do…but she can pray and she is joyful and content about it).

The contrast comes in verse 7.

The ungodly widow is self-indulgent - Explain…

What does Paul call the self-indulgent woman? He calls her dead.

Not dead physically, but spiritually.

Share the gospel here…

It is crucial for all of us to understand, but especially the widow that we must no only purse a salvific relationship with God, but we must pursue a pleasing relationship with Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5:9 (ESV)

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

We do not live to grieve the Lord!

We live to honor Him through our deep faith and trust.

We live to cultivate our relationship through real, honorable, connective, prayer! True widows are women of prayer!

In my mind, and I will get in trouble for this, but there is no better example of this kind of widow in our church than my mother-in-law, Trudy.

Admittedly, I am biased. But she exemplifies the characteristics listed here and avoids the ungodly characteristics mentioned.

Widows, and all women of ABC. How do you suppose you become Godly?

Does it just happen by osmosis?

Does it simply take place by chance?

Ladies, whatever stage of life you find yourself in today, INTENTIONALLY PURSUE GROWING IN CHRIST BY INTENTIONALLY PURSUING DISCIPLESHIP.

If you want to grow in godliness, you need to have someone walking spiritually alongside you!

Review - Widows are a Vital Part of Christ’s Church

Honoring Widows is Pleasing to God

Godly Widows Please the Lord

3. Godly Families Take Care of Their Widows (vs. 7-8)

1 Timothy 5:7–8 (ESV)

Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

It is important to understand that Paul is not making a suggestion regarding how the widows are to handle themselves and how the church is to handle widows.

He is commanding this to Timothy in verse 7, and expecting Timothy to instruct the church with the expectation of obedience, so that the church will be mature!

Why would they be open to criticism?

Paul wanted Timothy to pass along these instructions about the list of widows in order that no one may be open to blame. The reference is somewhat ambiguous, but probably refers to the widows in the church. If the wrong women are included on the list their sensual lifestyles (cf. 5:6) will bring reproach on the entire group. BKC

“Provide” - means to “think ahead” to “see the need in advance.”

Another possible criticism is that a failure to provide for the widows who are godly would make the church look selfish and uncaring.

But we must under the protocol that Paul is instituting.

The if the widow has a family the family must step up and care for by them! They must honor their mother!

This is his point in verse 8.

1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV)

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Woah! This is very strong language.

Believers must care for them mommas!

Do you recall the strong rebuke Jesus gave the Pharisees about this issue? Take a look at…

Mark 7:9–13 (ESV)

And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban” ’ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

“Sorry mom and dad, I know you are struggling financially, but my hands are tied, there is nothing I can do for you because all my money is God’s and I can’t used it for you. Bummer!”

Wow! Do you remember what Paul calls this person in verse 8? He is WORSE than an unbeliever.

In other words, Christians are to do the best job caring for their aging parents. And the ones who don’t are worse than non-christians.

However, if there is no family support and the widow is a godly woman, then the church can and should step in.

That the ungodly widows are not to be cared for by the church and yet the godly ones are. Again, first by their families and then by the church.

This is true for us today. Families, take care of your mom. It proves whether you are a believer or not.

One of the greatest, and most difficult privileges Angie and I have had was to care for my mom the last three years of her life. She was a widow.

She had a slow descend and to watch her decline over three years was quite difficult.

But my wife was absolutely self-less and amazing…

Christian families and the Church must care for widows. But they must be true widows and that means they are godly and not wicked. And it means that there is no family support available to them.

Christian, are you taking care of mom?

Review - Widows are a Vital Part of Christ’s Church

Honoring Widows is Pleasing to God

Godly Widows Please the Lord

Godly Families Take Care of Their Widows

4. Qualifications of a True Widow (vs. 9-16)

1 Timothy 5:9–16 (ESV)

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

vs. 9 - What does “enrolled” mean? Literally the church needed to have an administrative structure so no one eligible was overlooked.

What are the stipulations for enrollment?

1 - 60 years old or older - That is old for that time in history.

2 - A “one man woman” - in other words she was not promiscuous.

3 - (vs 10) She has a reputation for good works.

4 - She has raised her children.

5 - She has been hospitable.

6 - She has washed the feet of the saints (humble woman)

7 - She has cared for the sick.

8 - and She is devoted to every good work.

vs. 11 - Paul desires for the younger widow to seek marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7)…

But what is Paul talking about in this passage?

It is very interesting.

Paul is describing a scenario in which older widows have made a vow to the church to work for the church in exchange for financial support.

His concern was, younger widows might make a vow to the church for such an arrangement and then later turn back from that vow because they desire to be married.

Verse 12 gives some interesting clarity for this issue.

1 Timothy 5:12 (ESV)

and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.

Faith meaning vowing to have a celibate lifestyle and fully committing their life to serving Christ much like Paul did.

1 Corinthians 7:7 (ESV)

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

Apparently, Paul took vows to the Lord very seriously, and so should we.

Deuteronomy 23:21 (ESV)

“If you make a vow to the Lord your God, you shall not delay fulfilling it, for the Lord your God will surely require it of you, and you will be guilty of sin.

After all, Jesus said, Matt 5 37

Matthew 5:37 (ESV)

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

vs. 13 - Have you ever heard the saying, “Idle hands are the devils workshop.”

In light of this, Paul wants these younger widows to be married so they would be too busy to get themselves into trouble with God. They would be too busy to gossip and get their noses into other people’s business.

vs. 14 - In the culture of Ephesus during that time, being a wife and a mom would be the best use of her time.

Just a note - We live in a time when there are a lot more options for women to fill their time than perhaps they had available for them in that time.

But I want to make something very clear - There is no greater privilege for a woman to bring a life into this world. To love and nurture that little one and help raise them to love and serve the Lord Jesus Christ.

We live in a culture that is hell-bent on blending, blurring and eliminating the beautiful and necessary distinctions and roles for men and women.

Please remember that male and female genders are not a social construct or based on an emotional supposition and are not on a spectrum.

If we take the Bible to be true, and we do around here, then we must take at face value what God, the creator of all that is says about the genders.

Genesis 1:26–27 (ESV)

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

“Male and female He created them!”

In the very next verse God tells man and woman to go and exercise their individual uniqueness with one another and make babies.

Can I ask you a question? What is so wrong with making lots of babies?

Do you know one of my biggest regrets? That Angie and I didn’t have more children!

In my opinion, there is no greater work we can accomplish than to raise up the next (hopefully large) generation to love and serve the Lord.

We should never be ashamed that God created us male and female to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth!

Vs. 15 - But some started following the clever wiles of the Devil. He is a pro at getting believers to stop listening to the Word and start listening to Him. “Did God really say?”

Vs. 16 - One last command from Paul to Timothy regarding widows. Again, Paul makes it clear that family help lakes priority over church help.

The family must care for their family so that they are not a financial burden on the church.

Those who are “really” widows are those women who have no familial support whatsoever.

This is where the church comes in. Paul is careful to instruct Timothy that the church should be careful not to become a welfare state for women who have family to assist her for the very simple reason that there is only so much money to go around.

Paul’s instructions to Timothy are rooted in wisdom and fit the church culture of that day.

I don’t think the church today has to care for widows by offering them a job in exchange for their care, but the principle is the same.

Imagine a rescue team responding to a natural disaster. They have a limited amount of food, water, and medical supplies to provide for those in need. As they arrive at a devastated area, they must carefully assess who needs help the most. The elderly, the sick, and those without family to support them are prioritized because they cannot survive without aid. Meanwhile, others with family members or friends nearby are asked to wait, as their immediate needs can be met by their loved ones.

Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy 5:9-16 are like the actions of the rescue team. The church’s resources are not unlimited, and they must focus on those who are “truly” in need, such as widows without family support.

Families are encouraged to step in and care for their own so that the church can reserve its resources for the most vulnerable.

Just as a rescue team can’t help everyone at once, the church is called to discern how best to use its resources, ensuring that no one is left without care, but prioritizing those who need it most.

ABC, we must have policies and procedures in place to use the resources God has entrusted to us to care for the widows He has entrusted to us.

Review - Widows are a Vital Part of Christ’s Church

Honoring Widows is Pleasing to God

Godly Widows Please the Lord

Godly Families Take Care of Their Widows

Qualifications of a True Widow

Conclusion

What does this passage look like for today’s church? What are the principles we can draw from this description?

The church must honor widows - they are a tremendous value to the church!

Widows (and all women) must pursue godliness!

Godly families don’t pawn their responsibilities for mom or grandma off to the church.

We all have purpose - The older widows of the church have purpose. The church must give opportunity to share that purpose.

My mom and her diminished capacities. This doesn’t mean she was worthless to the church, but it also means she couldn’t do everything she used to do - and that is okay!

Church, God has sovereignly constructed our church body. He puts people in this church that are rich and those that are poor. Those that are strong and those that are weak. Why?

So the rich can help the poor in the congregation because God in His riches help us who are poor spiritually.

So the strong can lift the weak just as God lifted all of us that were weak.

Romans 15:1–2 (ESV)

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

2 Corinthians 8:9 (ESV)

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.

"The church is the church only when it exists for others... It must tell men of every calling what it means to live for Christ, to exist for others." — Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison.)