Controlled Living

Introduction

-Words are powerful. The impact of words are demonstrated by God in the beginning. Everything was created from the mouth of God, “God said, ‘Let there be light’” (Genesis 1:3). Deut. 4.. and Jesus in N. T. in Matthew 7:24ff)

-We had a rule in our house that if us kids were caught lying we would get our mouth washed out with soap… (expound story?)

I. Small Tool = Big Outcomes (vv. 1-12)

-James gives several areas of concern for our tongue. Be warned, watch, and control these areas:

A. First, your teaching (v. 1)

1. Yes, being honest and factual, but especially being careful of what we say about God.

a. Didn’t James already tell us not to blame God when we are tempted by sin (1:13)?

b. If we are going to speak on God’s behalf then we need to make sure what we say about God is true and in line with His character

2. What happens when we misrepresent God? It can start small, but the impact can be huge

a. We might say “God is in control of everything. So, He makes everything happen.” It sounds good on the surface but take it a little further. “If God made everything happen then He forced Adam and Eve to commit the first sin”. A few more steps down this road brings us to a logical conclusion that God would force evil to happen so He could be the Savior and be worshiped. Salvation, then, is a prideful thing for God instead of benevolent. If God makes everything happen then He forces people to sin and He is not Good but Evil.

b. We must be careful what we say about God. Yes, He is in control but not to the degree of overruling our free will, which He created us with. He lets us make our own decisions, which means we have to reap the consequences. But He is Divinely intelligent and overwhelmingly powerful to use imperfect people and circumstances to bring about good for His creatures

3. The first area we need to watch for our speech is what we say about God, our teaching

B. Second area to watch and control is the power of words (vv. 2-6)

1. We trip ourselves up with our words. What we think and say about ourselves directs our lifestyle:

a. Did anybody get to see the horse pull this weekend? Those horses are so powerful, quick, and strong. Yet, they have been trained to wait for the cue from their trainer before they take off to pull the heavy load. They have specific equipment, a bit in their mouths, etc. The trainer controls the bit and directs the horse to comply

b. Or think about the largest yacht in the world. It’s the Somnio, which measures at 728 ft. long (6 football fields). The controls to guide the ship are a mere fraction of its size, yet it moves where the controls dictate

c. Your tongue may be small, but it has the power to build up and to destroy

1. (quote Solomon from Proverbs about life and death being in the tongue)

2. Smoky the Bear has a point, “Only you can prevent wildfires”. You control your words then you prevent destructive fires

2. Jesus said Luke 6:45 “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

a. The lies we tell ourselves, the hurtful words we could never take back, the anger we have spewed on people are a result of filling our hearts and minds with evil

b. Think of the content in a PG 13 movie: Some violence may be depicted, but it's generally not realistic, extreme, or persistent. More than brief nudity is allowed, but it's usually not sexually oriented. A single use of a harsher sexually-derived word as an expletive is allowed, but more than one use requires an R rating. Drug use is allowed

c. What we fill our minds with is what will come out of our mouths and will impact the way we view ourselves and how others view themselves and us

3. Your words carry so much power and influence over yourself and others. Truly, if you can control your tongue you could control your body as well. The problem? We can’t do it

4. The first area of your tongue to watch is your teaching, the second area is the power of your words and the influence they have

C. A third area to be cautious with is evil words (vv. 7-12)

1. Mankind is amazing. The things we can do are unlike any other creature on earth. It’s almost like God made us in His image

a. We can create unthinkable inventions and technology, we tame animals that were once unpredictable and dangerous. Yet, we cannot control our tongues

b. Our words bring great evil, like a poison that corrupts and kills. We don’t just think about curse words as filthy, but hurtful words like: “I hate you”, “I wish we had never met”, “You make life so difficult for me”, “I’m so stupid”, etc.

2. We bless God in one moment and then turn around and speak the devil’s native language

a. John 8:44 “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

b. Church, it ought not be this way. We should not speak good things at church on Sunday and turn right around with hateful words to our brother on Monday. “I love you Jesus! But Alfred, you’re the worst.”

c. From our hearts come the speech we use. Will we contradict ourselves and use our speech to glorify God then betray our friends? No, choose today whether you’re going to use salt water or fresh water

3. The 3 areas of our tongue to watch are: teaching (what we believe and say about God), the power of words (they influence our bodies and the lives of those around us), and the evil of our uncontrolled words (we have the power to build up and tear down. From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks)

II. Controlled Speech = Controlled Life

A. Well, that all seems very negative

1. It seems hopeless, “How can I ever get control of my speech? It feels impossible”

2. Guess what, it is impossible. If you were able to control your tongue then you could control the rest of your body and be perfect. But you aren’t perfect, you are a sin-ridden human being like me

a. So, why are we trying to restrain ourselves by our own strength and wisdom when that’s what got us into this mess in the first place?

b. We can’t do it by ourselves. God creates the fresh stream in our minds, He makes us new. Let your speech match the Spirit with which God made you new

B. James warning about the tongue is not only found here in ch. 3. James gives us wisdom and advice for our 3 areas of control throughout the book

1. In ch. 1 we read, “No one should say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God’” (v. 13), rather, “let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (v. 19). “if anyone thinks himself religious and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless” (v. 26)

2. James continues in ch. 2 saying,

a. “You pay special attention to the one who is in fine clothes and say, ‘you sit here in a good place’ and you say to the poor man ‘you stand over there’. Have you not made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil motives?” (vv. 3-4). Instead, “So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty” (v. 12)

b. “What use is it if a man says he has faith but no works? Can such faith save him?” (v. 14). Words alone don’t make faith active and alive

3. When we reach ch. 3, James has more to say than just the 12 verses we’ve covered, “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth” (v. 13)

4. Ch. 4 has further wisdom about the tongue for how we talk to God and others:

a. “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?” (v. 1). “You ask and do not receive because you ask with wrong motives” (v. 3)

b. “Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law” (v. 11)

c. “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we shall go to such and such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make profit. Yet, you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and also do this or that’” (vv. 13-15)

5. Then we reach ch. 5: “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.” (vv. 12-13)

C. What advice can we learn from James about controlling the tongue?

1. First, watch out for certain problem areas with your words. I like the way my old professor Jeff Faull summarized 5 danger zones to watch out for with your speech. Watch:

a. Words you speak to and about God: your teaching and prayers

b. Words you speak to and about others: judging

c. Words you speak about yourself: boasting

d. Words you speak about the truth: swearing

e. Words you speak in hast and in anger: emotional outbursts

2. Second, be slow to speak (James 1:19)

a. Be quick to hear: make an intentional effort at hearing the words of others to understand them and take a breath before responding

b. Also, if we look at the context of that verse, we could say be quick to hear the truth of God and slow to speak to Him about the unfairness of your life and be slow to get angry with God

3. Third way to control the tongue, replace bad speech with good

a. Fresh water not salt, words to build up not tear down, kind words not hurtful words, forgiveness not spite, encouragement not slander/insults

b. Shift your perspective from negative to positive. Or maybe, from fear to hope

1. When you speak to and about yourself understand that God made you in His image and loves you enough to send His Son to die in your place. So, don’t beat yourself down, instead, view yourself the way God views you: as special and important to Him. Someone with inherit value that is worth pursuit from the God of the universe

2. When speaking to and about others recognize that they are also made in God’s likeness. Focus on their needs and what you can do for their good to build them up: don’t pick favorites but speak from the love of Christ. Don’t judge them, instead, show them mercy

3. When speaking to and about God by humble. He does not exist to do your bidding and give you all the pleasures you desire. Rather, you exist for His glory. Grow into His likeness, fulfilling the purpose of your existence. You don’t know how to act or what to say? Pray, ask for His help. Have dreams and desires for your life? Seek His guidance and understand that if the Lord wills you will achieve greatness, only with His blessings. Have trouble with a filthy mouth? Ask for God to purify your speech because He produces a fountain of fresh water from the inside out

c. Remember, our words are like a fountain (v. 11). Jesus said, “from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks”. What we take in makes a huge difference

1. If we are taking in evil and slander from people, movies, music, videos, and the news then that will bubble back out

2. But if we take in good, encouragement, kindness, gentleness from the Word of God, from loved ones, from clean pieces of media then that will flow from our lips

Conclusion

I want to leave you with this piece of encouragement. The tongue is a small tool that breeds big results. As you control your life you will have greater control over your speech. But don’t try to do it by yourself. That’s what got you into this mess in the first place.

Rather, remember, God purified you from sin and evil and He has given you His Holy Spirit to live inside of you, empowering you to overcome the temptations of your flesh. What is the last item listed in the Fruit of the Spirit? Self-control. He also produces kindness and gentleness along with that.

Yes, we have 5 danger zones that we should watch out for and be aware of. We should also be quick to hear God’s Word and slow to speak so we do not become angry with God or people. Yes, we should replace bad speech with good, no matter who we are talking to. The first step is asking for God’s help to purify your speech to talk like Jesus. He is ready to work amazing things through you.

Controlled living permeates us from the inside out. Control the tongue, control your life and fresh water will spring forth from you, refreshing everyone you come into contact with.