What about Marriage?
Kingdom Come (Matthew) • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan
I read an article this week about Michael Jordan’s first and second marriages.
His first marriage ended in 2006 and he was forced to pay $168 million to his ex-wife.
So, in 2013, when he was marrying his current wife, he had her sign a prenuptial agreement.
Every year they are married she gets $1 million dollars, at 10 years she will receive $5 million a year.
Sounds like a pretty sweet deal for her, and he gets to protect his over $3 billion in wealth.
The article I read makes some practical arguments for why prenups are understandable for wealthy people like Jordan, but it also says something about how our society views marriage.
built into a prenup is the assumption that marriage is conditional and volatile.
Feelings might change, circumstances might shift, who knows how long this will last, better be prepared when things go south...
This is a message about marriage and divorce.
And the reason we are talking about marriage and divorce is because that was the next passage in the book of Matthew.
We have been making our way through Matthew now since December. Chapter by chapter, section by section, verse by verse.
This is not an easy topic to talk about because it hits home for lots of us in the room.
But Jesus talks about it, clearly and without reservation.
So our goal today, as in every Sunday, is to hear and understand what God has to say and let His Words shift our minds and hearts.
I want to talk about 3 ways we can better understand Jesus’s teachings in this passage.
1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”
8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. 9 I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”
10 His disciples said to him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.”
11 He responded, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept it should accept it.”
The same warning is necessary in this passage as was a couple weeks ago.
Because our chapter and verse divisions in our modern bibles, we can fall into the trap of treating passages as independent thoughts from the previous verses or the verses to come.
The writers of the Bible didn’t write each section in a vacuum, only concerned with the words they are writing outside of the context they were writing in.
No, there is context to their writings. Whether it be immediate context or an overarching context for the book being written.
Matthew 19:1-12 follows chapter 18 which is all about forgiveness and accountability. Matthew 16-17 is all about faith and faithfulness.
Don’t lose sight of this in the questions and responses of Jesus.
This broader context, coupled with the immediate context we read about in verse 1-2 can help us understand the mission of Jesus, so we can understand Jesus’s answers to the questions all the better
That is our first step to understanding Jesus’s message in 19:1-12.
1) Understand Jesus’s MISSION.
1) Understand Jesus’s MISSION.
Before any question was asked of Jesus, we are told He was healing those that came to Him.
He and he disciples had made their way to the region of Judea, on their way to Jerusalem.
And, as has become customary, a large, needy crowd follows Jesus.
Driven by compassion and His mission to restore, Jesus heals the crowd, as He has done time and time again throughout His ministry thus far.
It is in this context that Jesus is approached by a group of super religious Pharisees.
They didn’t like Jesus because His message and His ministry threatened them and their way of life.
They came to Jesus with questions, but not with good intentions. They were determined to lead Jesus into a trap, so that they could discredit Him.
But they come to Jesus with these questions as He was miraculously healing a crowd of people.
Though the questions we have might be challenging and the life issues we are dealing with may be overwhelming, we can't lose sight of this reality: that Jesus is good.
He is good and His ways are good.
Like the Pharisees, our questions and the difficulties in life can cause to lose sight of the MISSION of Jesus in His MESSAGE.
Rather than seeing the message of Jesus as an expression of His MISSION.
Jesus didn’t come to earth to make our lives hard and restrictive.
He came to lead us toward a life that is full and eternally satisfying.
These questions were asked in the middle of Jesus healing and restoring.
They were asked in the wake of His teaching about faith, faithfulness, and forgiveness.
Jesus is good when He is healing and forgiving and casting out demons, but He is also good when He is teaching, correcting, and calling us to live in righteousness.
We can lose sight of that as we look at these questions.
Now, let’s look at those questions...
Two come from the Pharisees and one from His disciples.
Jesus’s response is where we find our second point
2) Embrace God’s DESIGN for marriage.
2) Embrace God’s DESIGN for marriage.
The Pharisees ask Jesus THE hot button question of the day: Can a man divorce his wife for any reason?
In the Jewish world of the day, there were two ways of answering this question represented by 2 Rabbi’s interpretation of Deut. 24:1
1 “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.
Rabbi Shammai was more conservative with he verse, emphasizing the word “indecent”, teaching it to refer to sexual unfaithfulness. Thus teaching divorce as permissible only in the case of adultery.
Rabbi Hillel on the other hand was much more liberal.
He focused his interpretation of the verse on the word “anything”.
Teaching that divorce was allowed for any offense a husband may have, even burning a meal or no longer being attractive to his wife.
They knew by taking either side, Jesus would be falling into their trap; either He was a liberal teacher who didn’t value marriage or He was a rigid teacher no one would want to follow.
In standard form, Jesus answers their question with another question...”Have you not read…?”
And then He quotes Genesis 2.
Jesus’s doesn’t give an assessment of either Rabbi’s argument, but brings the question all the way back to the creation of man and the creation of marriage.
What was God’s intention behind the design of marriage? That is where we can we will get our answer.
From Genesis 2 we can see that: Marriage was God's invention.
The idea of marriage pre-existed the creation of humanity.
Therefore, when God designed mankind as male and female, He designed them FOR MARRIAGE.
Therefore, marriage was intentionally and purposefully designed by God
One man and one woman (lots of implications here).
Gender and sexuality are imbedded in the creation story, designed with intentionality by the creator of the universe.
What was designed in chapter 2 was corrupted in chapter 3 and Jesus is pointing back to the pre-corrupted/pre-sin design of marriage.
The redesigning and rethinking of marriage that has happened in our culture and cultures before us weren’t God’s design, but were manmade/man-altered.
Jesus also points to an intentional flow of marriage
leave father and mother > cleave/hold fast to spouse > become one flesh (sex, union, procreation)
The design of marriage from creation is where we find the prohibition against premarital sex, cohabitation, and any expression of sex or promiscuity outside of marriage.
There is a responsibility, a commitment, and a bond that should be formed between a man and a woman before becoming one flesh.
When we don’t do this it is as if we are using our cellphone to hammer a nail. It was not designed to be used that way.
Jesus also points to a perseverance built into the design of marriage
What God put together, man shall not separate it.
Divorce, Jesus is saying, was not in the design of marriage.
Adam didn't have a choice of women, but only one and her "wow man" ness did not last.
Persistence and perseverance, and faithfulness, and choosing to love and forgive were built into the DNA of marriage.
And that falls perfectly into the context of our passage, the previous verse, as well as the ones to come.
Before Jesus mentioned anything about the grounds for divorce, He makes the case that God’s intention for marriage is persistence and perseverance. For faithfulness and forgiveness. For grace and patience.
Embedded the Pharisees was what we can often be tempted to do, to look for a loophole to give us an out.
And before Jesus gives any indication of a way out, He points to the beauty of God’s design.
His intention isn't trapping us in a miserable marriage, but calling us to a Christ-modeled attitude and gospel-motivated action.
Marriage is hard, but God is powerful. People are sinful, but God has modeled forgiveness for us in Jesus. Relationships are painful, but God can heal even the most broken ones.
3) Rest in the GRACE and GOODNESS of God.
3) Rest in the GRACE and GOODNESS of God.
The Pharisees ask another question, seeking to set the hook for Jesus.
They also point to Deut 24. “If God doesn’t permit divorce, why does Moses COMMAND one to give a certificate of divorce?”
Notice the difference in Jesus’s response… the clarification/correction:
8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning.
Moses didn’t COMMAND a divorce, he PERMITTED/ MADE CONCESSION for divorce because of the hard-heartedness of mankind (because of our sin).
It wasn’t God’s design from the beginning, but there are situations that led Moses to come up with some concession in order to protect innocent parties involved.
The one concession Jesus makes here is marital unfaithfulness/adultery.
Jesus’s isn’t saying that adultery automatically ends a marriage, but, because of the seriousness of sexual sin, adultery does open up the option for divorce.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul adds abandonment by an unbeliever as a concession for divorce.
Meaning if you are married to an unbeliever and they leave you or ask for a divorce, then you are permitted to do so.
Willful neglect of marital responsibilities and abuse are also often listed as reason for divorce being biblically permissible.
What is Jesus’ point?
Are there grounds? Yes, but we should not rush.
Are there reasons? For sure, but not without a fight
Why fight? Because he didn't turn his back on us.
God is gracious and the gospel is good news
The disciples question in verse 10 is such a real and raw response to teaching about marriage.
Why would we ever get married if it is so hard?!?
Jesus’s answer is more concerned with singleness than giving a reason people should get married, but He ends His response with “for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven”.
Why is all this important?
Because our marriages and our singleness point to something much greater than our own lives and our own happiness in them.
The message of Jesus in this passage isn’t meant to make your life miserable.
He wants us to experience marriage as it was designed to be experienced
But even if we don’t, He wants us to know He is good and He is gracious and that His plans are never to harm us, but to shape us and make us more like Him.
So, Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full, in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace