The Pillars of Forgiveness

To pursue forgiveness that models God’s forgiveness, we will need attitudes and characteristics that support such a pursuit. These attitudes are like pillars that support and make forgiveness possible.

Wisdom

Navigating situations of sin, brokenness, and hurt is going to require wisdom.

Jesus teaches principles, but applying those principles in various situations will require thoughtfulness and wisdom.

Wisdom is required for helping our individual cases, but also as we help guide others towards forgiveness. Leaders especially need to be wise in navigating, counseling, and guiding others.

1 Corinthians 6:1–6 ESV

1 When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers?

Compassion & Kindness

Forgiveness will also require compassion and kindness.

Colossians 3:12–13 ESV

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Compassion can also be rendered as “mercy” or even “pity”

“display of concern over another’s misfortune” (BDAG)”

While most of us naturally feel compassion for those who have been hurt or wronged, it is difficult to be concerned about someone who has hurt us or others.

This is where we remember God’s example—even though we sinned, God had compassion and extended mercy to lead us to repentance and forgiveness.

We may have been hurt, but if someone has sinned, their very soul is in danger. Do we have hearts attuned to the pitiable state of such a soul?

Matthew Henry’s Journal entry after being robbed: "Let me be thankful. First, I was never robbed before. Second, although they took my purse, they didn't take my life. Third, although they took my all, it was not much. Fourth, let me be thankful because it was I who was robbed and not I who did the robbing”

Humility & Meekness

Colossians 3:12 (ESV)

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Pride is a great enemy of repentance and forgiveness. Pride will not allow for compassion. Pride will not pursue repentance, restoration, or reconciliation.

If we are to pursue forgiveness that is like the Lord’s, then we must have the same mindset as the Lord.

Philippians 2:3–8 ESV

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Meekness can be described as gentleness or mildness. While we might desire justice, and perhaps feel we have the right to demand justice, our first step is toward a willingness to pursue forgiveness and reconciliation instead. Such an attitude is the epitome of meekness. It is not weakness, it is incredible strength.

Patience

Colossians 3:12 (ESV)

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Forgiveness is hard, and accomplishing anything difficult will always require patience.

Patience will help us remain committed to the goal of reconciliation. We must keep the goal in mind and commit ourselves to pursuing that goal

Pursuing forgiveness can take time, and we must be patient. Relationships are often broken over time, and mending them takes time as well. As God is patient with us, we are patient with others

Love

At the end of the day, are we willing to love others, even those who have hurt us and sinned against us? Are we willing to choose love as the Lord chose love?

Romans 5:8–11 ESV

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 ESV

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Satisfied at the Cross

Wisdom, compassion, humility, patience, and love should all point us to the cross. At the cross, we see each of these attributes displayed by God. And at the cross, our sins are atoned for and forgiveness is offered so that we can be reconciled to God. We are so thankful for this great gift. We are thankful that God is satisfied at the cross. But are we so satisfied? Are we willing to let the sins of others—even the big sins others commit against us—be forgiven at the cross?

Such satisfaction calls us to reject the natural inclinations of bitterness, hatred, and malice, and instead forgive. Such satisfaction is the godly nature we are called to imitate.

As we noted again and again, we are called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us:

Ephesians 4:31–32 ESV

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Forgiveness is of vital importance, for it is one key way in which we walk in love and become imitators of God

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.