Cultivating A Safe and Spirit-Filled Community at A Small Church

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Tonight I want to keep it short - but there are some things that I have been praying and seeking God on thinking about and even talking to a few trusted people that sense God wanting me to share with you tonight.
It might be a little messy, and it might be a little unconventional and different than some of the things we hear - but I think it is extremely important and true, biblical and needful.
Even a little out of my comfort zone - but I sense God leading me here.
Turn with me to Romans 12.
Read: Romans 12:9-18
Romans 12:9–18 KJV 1900
9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. 10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. 14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. 16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
A. W. Tozer once remarked - “There are no little churches; all churches are the same size in God’s sight.”
Large or small—it must be an assembly of believers brought together through a Name to worship a Presence. The blessed thing is that God does not ask whether it is a big church or a little church.15
A. W. Tozer
He remarks in another place...
There are churches so completely out of the hands of God that if the Holy Spirit withdrew from them they wouldn’t find it out for many months.
A. W. Tozer
That may be so, but I don’t believe that about our church.
I also believe that we must be growing and maturing the longer we are in our Christian walk.
If we aren’t intentionally seeking our spiritual food and help we will not develop correctly.
I believe, probably because that is what I have attended most of my life and what most of the Biblical models give us, that small churches can be the most effective and useful in the Kingdom of God.
but it’s going to take a willing and open hearted people who love God with all of their heart and their neighbor as themselves.
I think one of the most important areas
and probably an area the church has struggled so long in
especially in small churches,
that is …cultivating an environment and culture that is both Spirit-filled but also a safe place
cultivating a safe and Spirit-filled community is essential for emotional and spiritual growth. Romans 12:9-18 outlines how believers and church communities can live creating an environment where everyone feels supported and safe.
I want us to notice 7 ways Paul shows us from Romans 12:9-18 that we can cultivate and grow such a community
1. Authenticity in Affection(Romans 12:9)
this type of community begins with sincere, genuine love that fosters emotional safety for each one who is there.
A. Genuine Love: Paul calls us to love without hypocrisy.
Authentic love promotes an environment where people can be honest and vulnerable without fear of judgment.
It also provides assurance that when you are alone with that other person you won’t be talking about them.
You know “gossip” is a sin we don’t talk about much - but gossip is a sin - it sows dischord among the brethren - I’m afraid we sometimes disguise our sin of gossip as prayer requests, or use being in leadership as an excuse to talk about whomever we want in whatever way we want.
True love - the authentic love Paul is talking about is seeking to build others up
God help me to follow the checks of the Spirit when I am about to gossip - yes I’ve done it too and God help me - You’ve done it too - God help you.
B. Hate Evil, Hold to Good:A church that stands against sin and clings to God’s goodness is a place where people feel emotionally secure.
2. Affectionate Actions (Romans 12:10 “10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
- **Point:** A safe church shows love not only through words but also through honoring and uplifting one another.
- **Subpoints:**
- **A. Brotherly Love:** A church family thrives when we treat each other with deep affection, like family, building emotional connections that foster unity (John 13:34 “34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”
- **B. Outdo in Honor:** Honoring others creates an atmosphere of mutual respect, making people feel valued and emotionally safe.
3. Availability and Assistance (Romans 12:11–13“11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.”
Spirit filled and safe church community ensures that members are consistently available to support one another emotionally and practically.
- **Subpoints:**
- **A. Fervent in Spirit:** A Spirit-filled community remains active in serving one another, showing a readiness to support and care for emotional and practical needs.
- **B. Share and Support:** Emotional maturity is reflected in sharing with those in need and practicing hospitality. Availability fosters a culture of emotional safety.
4. Approach Grief with Grace (Romans 12:15 “15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
A safe community embraces both joy and sorrow, providing emotional support during grief and loss.
I found this morning so helpful - no It wasn’t just sentimentality - a couple of people felt comfortable enough to talk about their grief and sorrow - they opened up to us just a little bit - now it is our job to step into that open door and fill it all the love that we can.
- **Subpoints:**
- **A. Rejoice and Weep Together:** Emotional maturity involves sharing in others' experiences, both joyful and sorrowful, creating an empathetic and compassionate community (Galatians 6:2).
- **B. Emotional Health:** Processing grief together leads to healing and emotional health, contributing to a secure and unified body.
- **Application Question:** How can we create an environment where people feel safe to express both joy and sorrow within the church?
---
### 5. **Avoiding Arrogance and Apathy** (Romans 12:16)
- **Point:** Emotional maturity helps us reject arrogance and relational apathy, ensuring that everyone feels included and valued.
Genesis 1:26–27“26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
The Bible tells us we are created in the image of God.
This familiar phrase is often interpreted as referring primarily to our spiritual nature – our capacity for faith, worship, and relationship with God.
While this is certainly a vital part of who we are, I would say the rest of the Bible challenge us to embrace a more expansive understanding of what it means to be created in God's image.
In reality our emotional, physical, social, and intellectual aspects are also reflections of the God who created us.
let's focus on the importance of our emotions as an integral part of being made in God's image.
It is a true statement that Spiritual maturity cannot be separated from emotional health.
As we grow emotionally, we become better equipped to love, serve, and lead others in Christ (Galatians 5:22-23).
- **Subpoints:**
- **A. Live in Harmony:** Emotional maturity fosters humility, creating relational harmony in the church (Philippians 2:3-4). Arrogance leads to division, while humility brings unity and safety.
- **B. Inclusive Attitudes:** By rejecting apathy and embracing inclusiveness, we ensure that no one is left out or overlooked, helping everyone feel emotionally secure.
We need to be warey of anything that would encourage and produce relational apathy
Relational apathy refers to a lack of interest, concern, or effort in maintaining or deepening relationships. It occurs when people become indifferent, disengaged, or passive in their interactions with others, resulting in weakened bonds and isolation within the community. In the church, relational apathy can lead to disunity, loneliness, and a lack of meaningful connection among members.

Four Practical Steps for Rejecting Relational Apathy:

Prioritize Presence
Explanation: Make time for meaningful interactions with others. Relational apathy often stems from being too busy or preoccupied to engage with people.Action: Intentionally schedule regular times to connect with others, whether through small groups, church events, or one-on-one conversations. Show up consistently, both physically and emotionally, and be fully present in these interactions.
Practice Active Listening
Explanation: Apathy often manifests in passive communication, where people hear but don’t truly listen. Reject apathy by giving your full attention to others.Action: Listen with the intent to understand, not just to respond. Ask questions, make eye contact, and reflect back what the person is saying to show that you value their thoughts and feelings. This deepens relational bonds.
Engage in Encouragement
Explanation: Apathy can cause us to overlook the needs and emotions of others. Counter this by actively encouraging and affirming those around you.Action: Regularly offer words of encouragement, prayer, or practical help. Notice when someone is struggling or celebrating and take the initiative to reach out with care and support.
Invest in Intentional Relationships
Explanation: Relational apathy thrives when connections are shallow and unintentional. Reject it by actively investing in deeper, meaningful relationships.Action: Identify a few people in your church or community with whom you can build intentional, deeper relationships. Commit to regularly checking in, sharing life, and holding one another accountable in your spiritual and emotional growth.
By prioritizing presence, practicing active listening, engaging in encouragement, and investing in intentional relationships, we can actively reject relational apathy and cultivate a vibrant, connected church community.
### 6. **Address Conflict with Care** (Romans 12:17-18)
- **Point:** A safe and mature community handles conflict with care, seeking peace and reconciliation.
- **Subpoints:**
- **A. Do Not Repay Evil for Evil:** A community that seeks emotional maturity responds to conflict with grace, not retaliation (Matthew 5:44).
- **B. Pursue Peace:** We are called to live in peace as much as possible, fostering a culture of reconciliation and safety in the church.
- **Application Question:** How can we pursue peace and handle conflict in a way that cultivates emotional maturity and safety in our church?
---
### **The Importance of Emotional Maturity**
- **Point:** Emotional maturity is the foundation for cultivating a safe and Spirit-illed community. It allows for deeper relationships, healthier communication, and genuine care.
- **Subpoints:**
- **A.
- **B. Cultivating Empathy and Compassion:** Emotional maturity helps us empathize with others, leading to a church where everyone feels heard, supported, and safe.
- **Application Question:** How can we as a church encourage emotional maturity in ourselves and in our community?
---
### Conclusion:
Cultivating a safe and Spirit-filled community requires genuine love, humility, emotional maturity, and a commitment to one another’s well-being. Romans 12:9-18 provides a framework for building a community where people feel secure and supported emotionally and spiritually. As we embrace emotional maturity, pursue peace, and offer grace in times of joy and sorrow, we will become a church that reflects the heart of Christ. Let us commit to creating a safe community where emotional health and spiritual growth thrive together.
Well I hope you will think and pray about this - and we will have to put some in practice now as we discuss some of the things we need to discuss.
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