The Family

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God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood, or adoption.

Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God’s unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God’s pattern for marriage. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values and to lead them, through consistent lifestyle example and loving discipline, to make choices based on biblical truth. Children are to honor and obey their parents.

Genesis 1:26-28; 2:15-25; 3:1-20; Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Joshua 24:15; 1 Samuel 1:26-28; Psalms 51:5; 78:1-8; Psalms 127; Psalms 128; 139:13-16; Proverbs 1:8; 5:15-20; 6:20-22; 12:4; 13:24; 14:1; 17:6; 18:22; 22:6,15; 23:13-14; 24:3; 29:15,17; 31:10-31; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; 9:9; Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 5:31-32; 18:2-5; 19:3-9; Mark 10:6-12; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Ephesians 5:21-33; 6:1-4; Colossians 3:18-21; 1 Timothy 5:8,14; 2 Timothy 1:3-5; Titus 2:3-5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7.

Family

God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood, or adoption.

The family was defined by God as the foundational institution of human society.

Matthew 19:6 CSB

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

From the beginning, God has used the family as the primary classroom and as the foremost object lesson for teaching His people about Himself and for challenging them to the holy lifestyle He demands.

Deuteronomy 6:6–9 CSB

These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Before there were civil governments or assemblies of worship, God established the home by creating the man and the woman and bringing them together in the Garden of Eden to engage in spiritual ministry through companionship, dominion, procreation, and worship.

Genesis 2:23–25 CSB

And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

Genesis 1:26–31 CSB

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.” God also said, “Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth and every tree whose fruit contains seed. This will be food for you, for all the wildlife of the earth, for every bird of the sky, and for every creature that crawls on the earth—everything having the breath of life in it—I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good indeed. Evening came and then morning: the sixth day.

Marriage

Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God’s unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.

God’s purpose for marriage was introduced in creation (Gen. 2:24) and then reaffirmed in the Gospels (Matt. 19:5) and the Pauline epistles (Eph. 5:31).

This biblical principle for marriage transcends time and culture.

Marriage, according to Scripture, is a covenant commitment to the exclusive, permanent, monogamous union of one man and one woman, and thus it cannot be defined as a flexible contract between consenting human beings.

Rather, the strong and enduring bond of marriage, pledged in the presence of God Himself, is enriched by the couple’s unconditional love for and acceptance of one another.

Believers must resist any claims of legitimacy for sexual relationships that biblically have been declared illicit or perverse lest they fall prey to an accommodation to the spirit of the age.

Deviation from God’s plan for marriage mars the image of God (Gen. 1:27) and distorts the oneness God intended in the sexual union between one woman and one man.

Man becomes Husband in a Marriage.

Woman becomes Wife in a marriage.

Man and Woman can reproduce, the ability to fulfill the biblical command to be fruitful and multiply.

Man becomes Father.

Woman becomes Mother.

This Father and Mother dynamic is important and part of God’s design.

Through this we lean a beautiful truth designed by God, a relationship we can see throughout Scripture:

God is our father, His church is the bride.

We are His children.

The perversion of homosexuality defies even childbirth, since it negates natural conception (Rom. 1:18-32). 

Romans 1:26–27 CSB

For this reason God delivered them over to disgraceful passions. Their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. The men in the same way also left natural relations with women and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error.

In marriage, two people physically become one flesh (Gen. 2:24); two families are socially grafted together; and the husband and wife portray spiritually the relationship between Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:23-27).

Ephesians 5:23–27 CSB

because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.

The union is designed to provide a lifetime of spiritual and emotional support (Deut. 24:5), to offer a channel for the mutual satisfaction of sexual desires, and to present the best setting for conceiving and nurturing the next generation.

Deuteronomy 24:5 CSB

“When a man takes a bride, he must not go out with the army or be liable for any duty. He is free to stay at home for one year, so that he can bring joy to the wife he has married.

Clearly God is teaching the importance of time being spent between a husband and a wife. Marriage is sacred, special, blessed.

The complementary relationship between husband and wife is presented as part of the pre-Fall perfect setting (Gen. 2:8-25) and then carefully defined within the canon of Scripture for succeeding generations (Eph. 5:21-33; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet. 3:1-7).

Marriage, according to God’s plan, is a lifelong commitment.

The breaking of its bonds brings hurt to all those involved, and thus every effort ought to be made for marital reconciliation and restoration (Mal. 2:16).

Malachi 2:14–16 CSB

And you ask, “Why?” Because even though the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, you have acted treacherously against her. She was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. Didn’t God make them one and give them a portion of spirit? What is the one seeking? Godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, so that no one acts treacherously against the wife of his youth. “If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Armies. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.

Jesus clearly did not advocate divorce but called attention to His design for marriage presented “in the beginning” at creation (Gen. 2:24), while noting that the “hardness” of the human heart could on occasion circumvent that plan (Matt. 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:6-12; Luke 16:18; Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:1-16). 

The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women just as it brought chaos and tragedy throughout the world.

The husband’s loving, humble headship has often been replaced with domination or passivity.

The wife’s voluntary and willing submission has often been exchanged for usurpation or servility.

Redemption in Christ would call for husbands to forsake harsh or selfish leadership and to extend loving care to their wives (1 Pet. 3:7) and for wives to forsake resistance to the authority of their respective husbands and to practice willing, joyful submission to that leadership (1 Pet. 3:1-2).

Husbands

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family.

God commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).

Ephesians 5:25 CSB

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

This love is protective, nurturing, serving, and edifying. It is not replaced with, but accompanied by, headship.

This headship calls the husband to a loving leadership in which he cares responsibly for his wife’s spiritual, emotional, and physical needs.

As defined in Scripture, the husband’s headship was established by God before the Fall and was not the result of sin (Gen. 2:15-17; see also Num. 1:2-3, 17-19).

It is a responsibility to be assumed with humility and a servant’s heart rather than a right to be demanded with pride and oppressive tyranny.

The wife is to respond to her husband’s loving headship with honor and respect (Eph. 5:21-22, 33; 1 Pet. 3:1-4). 

Servanthood does not nullify leadership but rather defines and refines its outworking.

The balance between servanthood and leadership is beautifully portrayed in Jesus Himself (Luke 22:26; Heb. 13:17), who models servant leadership for the husband and selfless submission for the wife (Eph. 5:23-27; Phil. 2:5-8).

Not only did Jesus model the Creator’s plan for different roles, but He also affirmed the equality in Christ of the husband and the wife (Gal. 3:28; 1 Pet. 3:7).

As the wife submits herself to her husband’s leadership, the husband humbles himself to meet his wife’s needs for love and nurture (Eph. 5:25-29; 1 Pet. 3:7).

Wives

A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

Wives, on the other hand, were created to be “helpers” to their husbands (Gen. 2:18).

A wife’s submission to her husband does not decrease her worth but rather enhances her value to her husband and to the Lord (1 Pet. 3:4).

This humble and voluntary yielding of a wife to her husband’s leadership becomes a resource for evangelism (1 Pet. 3:1-2), an opportunity for glorifying God (1 Pet. 3:4-6), a channel for spiritual growth as ultimately the wife trusts herself to the Lord, and a means for bringing honor to His Word (Titus 2:3-5). 

The term “helper,” which is also used by God to identify Himself (Ex. 18:4; Deut. 33:7), describes the woman God created to become a partner with the man in the overwhelming task of exercising dominion over the world and extending the generations (Gen. 1:28; 2:18).

There is no hint of inferiority in the term, which describes function, rather than worth.

As the man’s “helper,” the woman complements him through her own unique function in the economy of God; as one “comparable to him,” she, too, is created “in the image of God” (Gen. 2:18). Both bear God’s image fully, but each expresses that image in God-ordained ways through manhood or womanhood.

Thus, distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order (Gen. 1:27).

Their differing roles in relating to one another provide a picture of the nature of God and the way He relates to His people.

As the realities of headship and submission are enacted within loving, equal, and complementary male-female roles, the image of God is properly reflected.

Parents and Children

Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God’s pattern for marriage. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values and to lead them, through consistent lifestyle example and loving discipline, to make choices based on biblical truth. Children are to honor and obey their parents.

The family is the natural setting for molding and nurturing a child in the ways of the Lord (Prov. 22:6).

Parents are admonished to take seriously their responsibility for the spiritual formation of their children by introducing them to God (salvation) and teaching them His Word (discipleship).

Fathers and mothers are responsible (1) to model biblical manhood and womanhood through incarnational living, in which their children are able to observe the sanctification process in the lifestyle of their parents (Deut. 6:4-9, 20-25; Josh. 4:6-7); (2) to teach their children moral values from the Scripture; and (3) to lead them to love and serve the Lord through consistent discipline (Ps. 78:4-8).

The boundaries of a young child are established by his parents (Prov. 3:12; 13:24; 22:6; 23:13-14; 29:15, 17; Eph. 6:4).

However, the ultimate goal of parents is to move the child to personal accountability to God (Ps. 119:9-11). 

Childless couples, as well as single men and women, have the opportunity to pass on a godly legacy through involvement with the children within their extended family circles, in their churches, and in their respective communities.

Conclusion

Doctrine and practice, whether in the home or the church, are not to be determined according to modern cultural, sociological, and ecclesiastical trends or according to personal emotional whims; rather, Scripture is to be the final authority in all matters of faith and conduct (2 Tim. 3:16-17; Heb. 4:12; 2 Pet. 1:20-21).

God chose to reveal Himself to His people through family language: He used the metaphor of the home to describe the heavenly dwelling where believers will join Him for eternity.

He selected the analogy of family relationships (husband/wife and parent/child) to illustrate how believers are to relate to Him: God is the Father; Jesus is the Son; the Church is the Bride of Christ; believers are His children.

The most basic and consistent spiritual teaching, character development, and discipleship training should occur within the family circle (Deut. 6:4-9).

A Christ-centered family has the potential to give a “word about God” to a world indifferent to spiritual truths.

Those within the family circle have a unique opportunity to study the Bible and to learn theology through object lessons built into the very structure of the family. Godly families help build the church just as churches ought to help build godly families.

Scripture makes frequent connections between the life of the family and the life of the church (1 Tim. 3:5; 5:1-2).

Leadership patterns in the family are consistently reflected in the church as well (1 Tim. 2:9-14; 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9). 

We heartily affirm and commit ourselves to upholding the concept of the family as God’s original and primary means of producing a godly offspring and thus passing on godly values from generation to generation (Deut. 6:4-9; Ps. 78:5-7).