Relationships in the House of God (1 Timothy 5:1-6:2)

1 Timothy 5:1-6:2a

Relationships in the House of God

Sunday Morning Service, February 6, 2022

Intro

Family dynamics are complicated, oftentimes messy even in the best of circumstances and situations. It is hard to sometimes navigate through some of the situations within the family…

But, we are given helpful instructions in our text this morning about how the family of God is to interact and care for one another, in showing honor for one another and confronting sin in one another.

Main Point

Honor is to be shown to one another within the family of God, even when sin must be confronted.

Points

Honor for one another (5:1-2)

Honor for the widow (5:3-16)

Honor for the elders (5:17-25)

Honor for the master (6:1-2)

Point #1: Honor for one another

Having called Timothy to keep a close watch on himself and his teaching, that in so doing he will save both himself and his hearers, Paul takes a slight turn in instructing Timothy, and so the church to follow him, is to interact with one another within the church. In particular when sin is present in others' lives. Paul was adamant that Timothy charge the false teachers not to teach a different doctrine. Timothy is to wage the good warfare in holding faith and a good conscience. But when it comes to dealing with the members of the church and their particular sins, Timothy is not to rebuke them. Now to some, this might sound as if Paul is telling young Timothy, don’t confront their sin at all. But, that is far from the case. When Paul uses the word, do not rebuke, he is saying do not strike, beat upon. Now, Paul is not worried that Timothy is going to physically assault these older men and women or his equals of either gender. But, he wants to encourage Timothy to not verbally assault or demean them either. Sin is a serious thing and must be confronted.

Confronting Sin through encouragement

But sin is best confronted in older men, older women, younger men, and younger women through encouragement, with gentleness. For the aim is to sway the heart towards greener pastures in pointing one another more towards the glory of the LORD. Which is why Paul calls Timothy to confront older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters.

Consider how you would speak to your father or mother, especially if there is a disagreement or confrontation with one another? There is a respect, a gentleness in how you speak to them on the matter, isn’t there? Honor is given to them, or at least it should. And it is the same manner, the same honor and respect is how older men and women within the church are to be approached in dealing with their sin. One does not berate their father or mother, and neither should older saints be approached with such harshness. For let us heed the words of Solomon from Proverbs 12:18, There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. As one commentator puts it, with the older man or woman, we use a scalpel instead of the sword in our confronting sin with the aim to heal and restore, not cut down. These are how are gentle encouragements are to be at work as we call out sin in those who are older than us.

Similarly, those who are younger than us too, younger men and younger women. We are to not rebuke them with harshness, but encourage them towards right living. Therefore, when we must confront the sin of an older man in the congregation who is given to sin in anger, we do so gently, encouraging him to consider how he talks to others and the need to treat each other with dignity and respect, the same dignity and respect that he desires to still have. And his need to follow Jesus in controlling that anger. We encourage the older woman who is full of gossip with gentleness in aiming to show her the way she is spreading rumors and discouraging others that this does not line up with who we are to be in Christ. We encourage the younger brother who is struggling with addiction to see that his addiction is rooted in something deeper that only Jesus can satisfy. We encourage the younger sister struggling with a fear of man by pointing her to see that she should see the beauty of who she is in Christ and find her confidence and worth in him, not what the world says of her. And in particular with our younger sisters, ensuring that all purity is kept there, caring for her as a dear, beloved sister, not leaving room for sexual sin or abuse to creep in.

Whatever the sin, whatever the age of our brother or sister in Christ, there is to be a gentleness and showing honor to them in how we confront their sin. For the aim of confronting sin is to save them, to help sanctify them (that is to make them more like Jesus). It is not to discourage them or push them away from Jesus, but to encourage them all the more to run towards Him. For example, one of the best Bible books to use in Counseling someone in the midst of sin struggles is the book of Ephesians. For it grounds us back in who we are in Christ, and in light of that, here is how we live. And this is to be the ordinary means in which we confront sin in one another, reminding our fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters of who they are in Christ, and gently encouraging them this is how you live because of your identity in Jesus!

We are gentle with others, because Jesus is patient and gentle with us

Jesus tells us that despite our sin, despite our weakness, despite our weariness to come to him for he is gentle and lowly in heart, and he will give us rest for our souls (Matthew 11:28-29). Therefore, we confront others in their sin with the same kind of gentleness. For we do not confront them out of sin to condemn them, but the pursuit of restoring them to walking uprightly in godliness, to walking in the light and not that of darkness.

Close proximity to one another is needed

But for us to be able to do this, it means we have to close the gaps between us. We have to walk in close proximity in life to one another. It means that the older man and younger man must interact, it means that the older women and the younger women must interact. It means that there is a care and love for one another, despite our gender. And to be honest Central City Baptist Church, this has been a problem I think within our church. We have some groups that know one another fairly well. But then there are others that are so disconnected because of these divisions between age and gender. We must see that we all are a family. And the family is not to be divided into small sects, little clicks. It is to be united together as a whole, pouring into one another. So, if we are going to effectively confront sin in a loving manner in one another, we are going to have to labor to bridge these gaps, more and more. God help us in this task!

How Beautiful the Family of God

Kent Hughes notes, “How beautiful is the church that has people who know who they are, then treat one another as fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters. Such a graced family knows ‘how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth’ (3:15).” For us to be fit for purpose and champion the truth, we must display our unity in Christ in the way we love one another. For the one another’s in scripture are carried out best and most clearly through the local church, through the love fellow church members show to one another, as we live together as a family!

Point #2: Honor for the widow

Widow Care belongs first to the Family

And while we are all called to honor one another, there is a specific type of honor that is due widows. That is those who are truly widows. God has always cared for the orphan and the widow. He has cared for the marginalized of society. But the system was to be set up for the true widow to be cared for by the church when needed, not as a first resort.

Therefore, if a widow has children or grandchildren as we see in verse 4, it is their duty to first and foremost care for the widow. Part of the call to honor father and mother in the 5th of the 10 commandments is to provide provisionally for them when they get older, caring for them, as they once cared for their own children. Caring for one’s own household and making some return to parents in this way is pleasing to God, as we see there in verse 4. Therefore, brothers and sisters of Christ, this must be our primary means of widow care within. Where children and grandchildren care for their own family members, especially that of those who are widows. But not only that, let a warning come to those children and grandchildren who would neglect this matter. For down in verse 8, we read…

Those who do not honor the widow in their family in this way, they deny the faith and are said to be worse than an unbeliever. This is strong language and a hard judgment. Yet, the reason for this is because in living this way, they do not walk in godliness and therefore deny the gospel. For one who affirms that God loved the world in this way by giving up his only Son, cannot cast their family members aside or treat them as they are a burden. The one who does so is barbaric and heartless, representing nothing of Christ. This being the Apostle’s strong warning, and so being ours. Let the one who has ears hear.

Care for True Widows

First, a true widow is one who is all alone.

But for those who are truly widows, without family are indeed to be cared for by the church. A true widow is defined here in 1 Timothy 5:5-6. She has not a husband, nor children, nor grandchildren. She is one who is left to herself. It is she who is truly a widow, and it is she who is to be cared for by the church.

Second, a true widow is one who is a believer.

The Apostle Paul makes this clear in describing the widow there in verse 5 as one who is to have set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. In other words, her faith is to be vibrant and lived out. She is to be a godly woman. Therefore the true widows who are to receive care are those who are desolate, in need of care and those who are godly. For none who are self-indulgent are to be given provision. For those who are self-indulgent lives idly and selfishly. And that is not the characteristics of the true widow to be cared for.

Widows to Enroll

Enroll on the Widow List those who are…

60 and older to be enrolled

One husband wife

A reputation of good works

Don’t enroll those under 60

The reason for the separation has to do with the sake of godliness for the widows themselves, as well as for the church to not be burdened in caring for those who do not need it.

And it is for this reason given in verse 16, that I don’t land where some scholars do. Some argue that there is widow care and then a special office given for older, godly widows to serve the church. That there is provision given. I highly respect those who I disagree with here, so I do so hopefully humbly. But, the fact that it returns to this care for widows and calling again those who have relatives who are widows to care for them, I think its further driving the requirements for those cared for.

And this is needed to guard the church from being overwhelmed with numerous being added to the role who live in ungodliness. It protects the church from having family members saying well, the church will care for them, I do not have a need to. And it protects those who truly need the help, therefore bringing them honor as well.

Point #3: Honor for the elders (who rule well)

Elders and Double Honor

Another group that is worthy of honor within the church is that of elders. Again, this term also means pastors, shepherds, overseers. It says here in verse 17 that those who rule well are worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. Now, what does it mean that they are worthy of double honor? Well, the text helps us understand the first one with much clarity.

Part of the double-honor shown to elders is in providing for them financially.

This is why Paul goes on and points back to Deuteronomy 25:4 and that the ox isn’t to be muzzled while it treads out grain and the laborer deserves his wages. Honor is shown in the financial provision for the elder, the pastor. I think God that our church provides in this way that I am more free to minister to our congregation in the studying of the word to preach it and for caring for the various needs in our church and church body.

The other part of double-honor though comes back to respect and honor being given to those who serve as elders.

For Paul has already said back in 1 Timothy 3:1, that those who aspire to this office of overseer, of elder, he desires a noble task. A task worthy of honor. The role of elder, pastor, overseer is a role that can often feel thankless. For even when a pastor visits the sick, prepares for the sermon, ministers to other needs within the congregation, there is often one who is still mad, because something got left out. In fact, just this week I was informed that a Family Pastor at a church was rebuked as he had his child with him at the church, while his wife was substitute teaching. He was rebuked as the Family Pastor for caring for his family in assuring they were able to live by having two-incomes and that his child was cared for, while trying to work. This brother is worth more honor than he was shown in this situation. Honor is to be shown to those who are elders for the work they do, especially if they are ruling, that is leading well.

Elders and Sin

Slow to accuse

Elders are to also be shown honor in how charges are brought against them. We read in verse 19 that a charge against an elder is not to be admitted, that is accepted, without two or three witnesses. Notice what this isn’t saying, it isn’t saying that an elder cannot be called out for sin, for verse 20, which we will look at momentarily crushes that, but it is saying that more than one evidence is needed. For it is easy for one who is disgruntled with the pastor to make all kinds of claims against them. Trying to ruin their character. And such claims by these if isolated should not be given any credibility. Honor is given therefore in this, protecting the one called to a noble work from false accusations, from false claims.

Severity of rebuke

But, on the other hand, if there is evidence to these claims, claims of grievous, unrepentant sin, then there is great severity in the consequences of such a matter. For it calls for a public rebuke of the elder in this matter. The language here doesn’t leave one with the idea of scolding, but a removal of office and potential church discipline where he would be removed from the church because of his persistent sin. Because that is the key point here, a persistent sin in an elder calls for serious rebuke, it calls for serious consequences. For the reality that he is persisting in sin is meaning that there have already been conversations with him, addressing the sin and he has failed to repent from it. Therefore, the discipline takes place for his sake and for the sake of others. Church discipline is always meant to be restorative, but it is also a warning to others to take sin seriously and to beware of it.

Elders are to be those who lead the church in the charge to hold to the truth and walk in godliness. Therefore, they are held to a high standard. A standard that should not be taken lightly.

Elders and Laying Hands on new elders

New Elders are to be added, emphasizing a plurality of elders.

This is what it means to lay hands on. It is the idea of affirming them. I know in our context, there are many churches who have only one pastor, one elder. But from church history, this was not to be the case. As churches were planted and established, there was a plurality of elders, who led the church together as co-shepherds. And the reason for this is the caring for one another’s souls and sharing in the work of shepherding the flock. And this is seen in the laying on of hands within the church, as it raises new elders up within her midst to take part in the work of the church.

The new elders are to be added, but slowly

Sin and good works can at times be slow to appear.

Point #4: Honor for the master and servant

Honor your Master, even if he is an unbeliever for the sake of God’s glory.

Respect your believing master, for he is your brother; in fact, serve him even better