Six Keys to Koinonia

1 When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as much as he loved himself. 2 Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. 4 Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. 5 David marched out with the army and was successful in everything Saul sent him to do. Saul put him in command of the fighting men, which pleased all the people and Saul’s servants as well. 6 As the troops were coming back, when David was returning from killing the Philistine, the women came out from all the cities of Israel to meet King Saul, singing and dancing with tambourines, with shouts of joy, and with three-stringed instruments. 7 As they danced, the women sang: Saul has killed his thousands, but David his tens of thousands. 8 Saul was furious and resented this song. “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 So Saul watched David jealously from that day forward.

Read 1 Samuel 19:1-6

1 Samuel 19:1–6 (CSB)

1 Saul ordered his son Jonathan and all his servants to kill David. But Saul’s son Jonathan liked David very much, 2 so he told him, “My father, Saul, intends to kill you. Be on your guard in the morning and hide in a secret place and stay there. 3 I’ll go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are and talk to him about you. When I see what he says, I’ll tell you.” 4 Jonathan spoke well of David to his father, Saul. He said to him, “The king should not sin against his servant David. He hasn’t sinned against you; in fact, his actions have been a great advantage to you. 5 He took his life in his hands when he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great victory for all Israel. You saw it and rejoiced, so why would you sin against innocent blood by killing David for no reason?” 6 Saul listened to Jonathan’s advice and swore an oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be killed.”

Read 1 Samuel 20:1-4

1 Samuel 20:1–4 (CSB)

1 David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What did I do wrong? How have I sinned against your father so that he wants to take my life?” 2 Jonathan said to him, “No, you won’t die. Listen, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without telling me. So why would he hide this matter from me? This can’t be true.” 3 But David said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor with you. He has said, ‘Jonathan must not know of this, or else he will be grieved.’ ” David also swore, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, there is but a step between me and death.” 4 Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”

Read 2 Samuel 1:26

2 Samuel 1:26 (CSB)

26 I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother. You were such a friend to me.

Is that weird to you?

Read just this week on both a discussion board and a scholarly work people saying Jonathan and David must have been lovers

I think that says less about our culture’s view of marriage and more about our culture’s lack of friendships

The idea that you would love someone enough to put them first until death is so foreign to people

But isn’t that the type of friend you want? Isn’t that the type of friend you want to be?

Don’t you want a friend who would…

sacrifice for your sake? (Jonathan giving the throne)

risk their life for you?

weep over your death?

care for your handicapped child? (David for Mephibosheth)

6 Keys to Koinonia (Godly Friendship)

You need to spend time together.

Paul and Timothy // 1 Corinthians 4:17 “This is why I have sent Timothy to you. He is my dearly loved and faithful child in the Lord…”

You can’t give up too quickly because lifelong friendships take more than a day to build.

Will Kane

You need to be vulnerable.

David and Jonathan weeping together

Your relationships will always be superficial until there’s some real self-disclosure.

Buddy praying together with others

You need to sharpen one another.

Paul to Peter // Galatians 2

1st — Are you willing to be sharpened? 2nd — Are you willing to do the same for them?

You need to show grace.

Barnabas to John Mark // John 15

Mark had bailed on a mission trip, but Barnabas wanted to give him a 2nd chance

2 Timothy Paul ends up sending for John Mark

You need to hold them loosely (so that others can be invited in).

Jesus to John

Jesus never let his love for Peter, James, and especially John keep him from loving others

Not talking to my friends at the CSC (until later) is actually what drew us closest together

You need the foundation to be Christ.

Philemon to Onesimus?

Onesimus is an escaped slave who converts and is sent back home by Paul

Philemon 15–16 “For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”

Something deeper bound them together

Exhortation

Make good friends to become more like Jesus.

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