Paradox of the Tongue
Sermon • Submitted • Presented
0 ratings
· 7 viewsNotes
Transcript
The Paradox of the Tongue
Text: Proverbs 15:1-4
Intro: Paradox
Imagine holding a Chinese finger trap. It’s a simple toy made from woven material that tightens around your fingers when you pull. The harder you try to free yourself by pulling, the more stuck you become. However, the way out of the trap is paradoxical — it doesn’t involve pulling harder. Instead, the solution is to push inward, doing the opposite of what seems natural, which frees your fingers.
In our lives and in faith, many things feel like this paradox. Jesus says in Matthew 16:25, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” It’s counterintuitive. The way to gain freedom in Christ isn’t by striving for control or clinging to our lives but by surrendering ourselves, submitting to God’s will, and letting go of our own. Paradox - A seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true.
Solomon paints Rehoboam a picture of moments when he will need wisdom.
This first paradox moment is when everything is going smoothly and out of nowhere a confrontation takes place.
No one likes confrontation. I say that, but now that I think about it, there may be a few that like confrontation. When I was growing up I had a friend whose sister was always looking for a fight. She would talk about “If I see them again I am going to slap her.” “If she looks at me I am going to lose it on her.” It was funny to us because she was the least intimidating person I had ever met. And as I think back on it, I never actually heard her fulfill any of the promises she made concerning her confrontations.
I cannot say that she wasn’t good with confrontation, but my opinion has her as full of hot air. I won’t assume that everyone wants to avoid confrontation, but I will say that in the instances where I have seen a tough individual blindly “giving a piece of their mind” the outcome never honored Christ. And they never came away looking all that smart, let alone wise.
I. A Soft Answer in Confrontational Matters. (1)
Exp.
A soft answer turneth away wrath:
But grievous words stir up anger.
Arg. Solomon puts Rehoboam in a confrontation, and as if he is attempting to walk him through it he begins to coach through the moment. Can you hear him:
Rehoboam use a soft tone.
File the edges off your accusations.
Say we instead of you.
Wisdom avoids the wrath and sticks with the soft answer.
What he is saying in the moment you feel like you need to defend yourself, your honor, maybe even the truth, there is no reason to scream back. Really isn’t that the feeling. When someone says something unfairly, unkindly, or even untrue we feel as if we need to defend ourselves. Solomon is warning that it is the one with wisdom who carries the responsibility of steering from wrath.
Ill. Go in your mind back two generations to the birth of Samuel. Remember that Hannah would go to the house of God. Hannah would pray silently. Her lips moved but made no sound. She wept and wrung her hands . She had no son! She staggered under the load of her plight. She thought if God would give me a son then I would give him right back.
Eli seeing this confronted her. “How long wilt thou be drunken.” He snapped. “Put away thy wine from thee”. Drunk indeed can you imagine what Peninnah would have said. The one with the mouth, probably would have pinned his ears back. Hannah’s answer was simple.
And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
App. What an incredible answer, he accused her wrongly, and she showed greater wisdom than the man of God.
II. A Sage Answer in Critical Moments. (2)
Exp.
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright:
But the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Interesting isn’t it. Ooooh we can handle a lot of things, but being wrongly accused is crossing the line. I want to remind you that ever accusation thrown at Christ was a false accusation and you never see him stuff the truth down someone elses throat.
The point is that even in instances when you have the upper hand, or you have an honor to defend you are not released from the demands of wisdom.
Ill. Have you ever watched children, especially siblings. Through the course of their time together inevitably one of the children will drop a toy on another child or bump him to the ground. And the natural man comes out. The initial response – fight or flight. Scream and cry, or hit back.
We have this same natural desire. Someone hurts us and we fire back with hatred, or cry and run the other way.
App. Let Solomon show you that wisdom, uses knowledge correctly.
III. A Sweet Answer to Crushed Men. (4)
Exp.
A wholesome tongue is a tree of life:
But perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
I have to go back to Eli. I wonder why the man of God would have been so careless with his words. So hurtful with his tongue. I mean surely he didn’t always have that judgmental of a spirit. I have to feel as if we caught Eli at a bad time, on a bad day. Can you imagine how Eli looked back on this moment. Foolishness always stands out on a backdrop of wisdom. That’s why the world hates Christ.
I imagine in my mind the regret Eli had from this exchange. He didn’t just miss an opportunity to not look like a fool, but had to be jarred to reality by a quiet unassuming woman. He could have the voice of hope. He could have served as a voice for God. He could have taken a hurting woman by the hand and walked her into the promises of God. Instead he yelling at praying women. He literally could have been a tree of life.
What put that in his character, why did he grow so hurtful.
Arg. Consider this.
Alexander Whyte writes: “Away back at the beginning of his life, Eli had taken far too much in hand. Eli was not a great man like Moses or Aaron, but he took both the office of Moses and the office of Aaron upon himself. Eli was both the chief judge and the high priest in himself for the whole house for Israel. The ablest, the most laborious, the most devoted, the most tireless and sleepless of men could not have done what Eli undertook to do.”
Ill. Philips says, “Eli was altogether too busy and the result was that he did nothing well. Ministering at the altar, administering at the gate, minding his own house, minding the house of God – all went to wrack and ruin. Eli’s worst failure was in minding his own house.”
App. Solomon warns that perverseness is a breach in the spirit. The reason he was unable to meet her need, and produce good in her life. Because long ago he had stopped feeding his own spirit. He was perverse, distorted, broken, out of line. And therefore his mouth would produce the same.
We out of balance will be left to respond in sinful foolishness.
Let me remind you with how we have defined wisdom in this study.
Wisdom, in its truest sense, is living life as if God Himself were in our place, navigating the same choices, trials, and experiences we face.
It is the common thread that runs through creation that where chaos, and destruction take hold you find foolishness but glowing in the cloud of pain is this place where God shows his kindness, love and mercy. And he shows it through you.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Here, wisdom is about not relying on our limited human understanding, but seeking God’s perspective in every situation. If God were living our lives, He would know exactly what path to take, and true wisdom is aligning our decisions with His divine guidance.
Furthermore, James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Wisdom is not something we possess naturally, but it is given to us by God when we ask. If God were in our place, He would know all things perfectly, and His actions would always reflect that knowledge. Therefore, to live wisely is to live as though God’s understanding is guiding us, allowing His wisdom to shape our choices as though He were personally experiencing our circumstances.
In addition, the nature of wisdom is intricately tied to the fear of the Lord, as Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom:
And the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
If God were living our lives, every decision would be made with a deep reverence for His holiness and sovereignty. This reverence is what anchors wisdom. Wisdom is not simply about making good choices but making God-centered choices. It’s about recognizing His authority in every aspect of life and living in a way that reflects His eternal perspective rather than our temporal, human viewpoints.
In James 3:13
Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
The word "conversation" here refers to one's overall behavior, but it is closely connected to speech. James emphasizes that true wisdom is shown through meek and humble words, not through boastful or harsh speech.
He further elaborates on this in James 3:17
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
These qualities are often manifested in the way we speak. Wise speech is pure, peaceable, gentle, and merciful, showing that wisdom is not just intellectual but revealed in how we use our words to build up and promote peace.
The context of James 3, which discusses the power of the tongue and the importance of controlling it, supports this idea that wisdom is evident in our words.
Proverbs 15:1: "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger."*
Throughout His ministry, Jesus responded to hostility and anger with calmness and gentleness. A clear example of this is in John 8:3-11 when the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery before Him, attempting to trap Him into giving a harsh or legally condemning answer. Instead of responding in anger or rebuking them harshly, Jesus simply said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” - John 8:7
His soft, wise answer defused the situation, turning away wrath and leaving the accusers in silence.
Proverbs 15:2: ”The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness."*
Jesus’ use of knowledge was always wise and fitting. In Matthew 22:15-22, the Pharisees and Herodians attempted to trap Him with a question about paying taxes to Caesar. Instead of reacting rashly, Jesus wisely replied, "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's" (Matthew 22:21). His response was a perfect example of using knowledge wisely, not only answering their question but revealing the foolishness of their attempt to entangle Him. Jesus consistently demonstrated wisdom in speech, never pouring out foolish words.
Proverbs 15:4: “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit."*
Jesus’ words were always life-giving, offering hope and healing to those who heard Him. In John 4, when He spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, He could have spoken harshly or condemned her sinful past. Instead, His words were filled with grace and truth, offering her living water and the path to eternal life. His wholesome words transformed her life, leading not only to her belief but also to many others from her town coming to faith. Jesus’ words brought life wherever He went, fulfilling the truth that *"a wholesome tongue is a tree of life."*
What we see when we see Jesus is a full presentation of the Wisdom of God in this world this is the same transformed call that he puts on you and I words say less about you and more about your savior and his wisdom. Let us lean on the one that was perfect in his words that he might live his wisdom through us.