Fighting Against Bitterness

Introduction

I often tell people that I’ve never been divorced. But, I guess that’s not 100% true. Legally I’ve never been divorced from my wife or any wife. But, in 2008, I experienced a different kind of divorce. I divorce myself from being a fan of the National Basketball Association.

It was 2008 that the Seattle Supersonics we stolen from Seattle and handed to Oklahoma City.

To understand, you need to know how big of a Sonics fan I really was...

But since that time, I very rarely watch the NBA. I’m bitter.

Luckily for me, the Washington State Cougars football team stepped in and replaced the Sonics.

And, occasionally, we even beat the Huskies in the Apple Cup!!!!

Bitterness towards sports organizations is silly. But, relational and spiritual bitterness are a much bigger deal.

How can we fight against bitterness? That will be our focus this morning.

Body: Genesis 43:1-34

Verses 1-2

It’s tough to say how long this was since the sons returned and were told by Jacob that he wouldn’t allow them to bring Benjamin to Egypt with them.

My guess is it is about a year later, as Joseph later tells them that the famine has gone on for two years and another five were coming.

Jacob likely thought he could wait out the famine.

But, the famine is still ravaging Canaan and Israel’s family is struggling.

They finished off all the grain they had brought from Egypt and were once again in need.

Verses 3-5

Judah becomes a key figure now.

Remember, it was Judah who originally had the idea to sell Joseph to the Midianites. It’s likely that Judah had a special level of disdain for Joseph before he sold him into slavery.

Thus, it’s Judah’s repentance that becomes key for Joseph to see.

Judah would also become the defacto leader, as Reuben and Simeon’s position had greatly diminished because of their sinfulness.

Judah reminds his father of the circumstances they are facing.

Previously it was Reuben that spoke up, but this time it is Judah. He reminds his father about Joseph’s command (not knowing, of course, that the man in Egypt was his bother Joseph) not to come back to Egypt without their youngest brother, Benjamin.

Judah takes a strong stand: we aren’t going unless you send Benjamin.

Why? Because to return without Benjamin would result in prison for all of them!

Judah’s approach is different than Reuben’s because he not only lays out the situation very clearly to Israel, but he takes real responsibility for Benjamin.

It is his honor and probably his life that was on the line, not his sons.

Verse 6

Jacob complains, wondering why the brothers said anything about their brother in the first place.

The brothers will share their reasoning, but there is a side note here.

One of the least productive things we can do is ask this kind of question. Jacob isn’t asking a question aimed at understanding a situation well enough to solve a problem. This isn’t research. This is an accusation.

Accusation-based questions are wholly unproductive in human interactions. They can’t go back a change things and they didn’t set out to endanger Benjamin.

Jacob/Israel is obviously still very frustrated about this situation.

He begins by suggesting that the boys were doing something against him in mentioning that they had a brother.

Verse 7

Judah’s response to Jacob makes good sense. There’s no way they could have known what Joseph was going to do with the information they shared.

Judah’s point is this: How were we to know that he would demand us to bring Benjamin down with us?

Verses 8-10

Judah swears Benjamin’s safety.

Why does this have greater impact on Jacob then when Reuben offer to put his sons to death if he didn’t bring Benjamin back?

Because Judah’s response is that his own reputation and life was on the line.

Essentially he says, “Let me make an oath to you that I’ll keep Benjamin safe, or I will forever bear the blame.”

He doesn’t make the foolish oath that Reuben tried to make, but the stakes were none-the-less very high.

To bear the blame for this would have put Judah and all of his family into shame for generations to come.

Judah’s comment in verse 10 is an interesting one because it speaks to us loudly today:

Just putting off something that is necessary because it is uncomfortable, risky or even terrifying is not wise.

Israel was hoping this problem would just resolve itself. But problems rarely just resolve themselves.

Putting off things often just makes the situation worse!

Verses 11-14

Israel/Jacob finally relents, but in typical Jacob fashion, he comes up with a scheme to try to buy Benjamin’s freedom:

“Take a bunch of goods with you, plus the money from the first time, and money for this time, and give it to the man. Maybe this whole thing was just an oversight and it will be solved easily.”

Jacob’s scheming ways haven’t completely gone away!

Additionally, Jacob shows a lack of compassion for all his sons shows as he says, “...may he send back your other brother and Benjamin...” Simeon is simply “your other brother.”

Finally, even though Jacob gives lip service to El Shaddai, God Almighty, he doesn’t really do this from a place of faith. Because he is already mourning the potential loss of his children.

Verse 15

Jacob’s sons have now received the blessing of their father to go back to Egypt.

They cover their bases, just as Jacob had instructed them, taking double the portion of money, hoping they aren’t walking into severe punishment after their last journey to Egypt.

Verses 16-25

The brothers have no idea why they are being brought into Joseph’s house, but assume it’s because they are about to be punished.

So, in hopes of creating a better situation for themselves, they explain to Joseph’s steward that they found their money after they left, implying that they did not intentionally steal from Egypt.

Much is made about the fact that earlier it tells us that one of the brothers found their money while lodging and the rest discovered their money when they were before Jacob. They suggest that the brothers were either lying to Jacob about being shocked, or they are lying to the steward. I disagree with both.

To me, they are simplifying their story, not going into all the details, but telling the steward the most important information, i.e. we left then later found our money in the sack. The exact timeline of events would matter in a forensic investigation, in this situation they really don’t.

Shockingly to the brothers, the steward informs them that they didn’t owe a debt, that the records state they’d paid for the grain last time.

No doubt, Joseph paid for it.

It’s interesting that the steward says, “Your God and the God of your father has put treasure in your sacks...”

Indirectly this is true, as it was God who put Joseph in Egypt in the first place.

Without much fanfare, Simeon is finally let out of custody.

Now they are treated well, not at all what they were expecting.

Joseph inviting them to a meal is a big deal, because to share a meal with someone in that culture was a way of accepting them.

In fact, Egyptians wouldn’t even eat with foreigners because they believed it defiled them.

Verses 26-34

They show reverence to Joseph.

Again, they still aren’t sure what their fate would be.

First, the Egyptian ruler (Joseph) wants to know the welfare of their father (whom, of course, was his father as well, though they didn’t know this.)

They respond that he is well…which is a half-truth.

Second, he sees Benjamin, his full brother.

Joseph’s compassion and love for his brother is such that he offers a blessing, but then leaves the room to try to compose himself because he is weeping.

Think about it for a moment: Joseph was robbed of a relationship with his brother. For twenty years he had not seen him. Benjamin grew up believing his only full brother was dead. It’s no surprise that under these circumstances that Joseph could not compose himself without spending a little time by himself.

After composing himself the meal is served.

It’s interesting that Joseph eats alone, the brothers eat alone, and the Egyptians eat alone. The text tells us that this is because it was an abomination for the Egyptians to eat with foreigners.

These men were Jewish shepherds with different dietary practices. They also slaughtered animals the Egyptians believed we sacred. Since it was widely believed that the food that a person ate defiled them, it’s not surprising the Egyptians were not willing to eat with them. In fact, eating with them would have seem disgusting to the Egyptians.

However, interestingly enough, this would serve a divine purpose later because it isolated the Israelites in the land of Goshen, preventing them from being assimilated into the pagan Egyptian culture.

It’s interesting that when they were seated according to birth order that they didn’t start to suspect something.

However, there was no way for them to think this was their long gone brother!

The brothers are shocked. They expected to face punishment, but instead are eating a wonderful meal!

And Benjamin receives five times the amount of food as the other brothers because Joseph loved his brother.

I wonder if this was yet another test for the brothers. Would they be jealous of the favoritism being shown to Benjamin?

As it would turn out, they would pass this test, since they were “merry with him.”

So What?

I see two potential responses to bitterness in this chapter:

The response of Jacob and the response of Joseph. There are important life lessons in both. One is an example to follow, another is an example to fight against.

Let’s start with the example to fight against:

Jacob’s Bitterness

Jacob’s bitterness stemmed from a lack of faith the God would do what He said He would do.

Remember God’s promises to Jacob:

Genesis 35:11–12 ESV

And God said to him, “I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply. A nation and a company of nations shall come from you, and kings shall come from your own body. The land that I gave to Abraham and Isaac I will give to you, and I will give the land to your offspring after you.”

That was then. This is now:

Genesis 43:14 ESV

May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.”

Instead of drawing nearer to the God he once wrestled with, Jacob is now bitter and lacks any appreciable faith.

This should remind us that when we allow life’s circumstances to draw us away from God, eventually bitterness will follow.

Jacob’s bitterness also stemmed from a small view of God and a large view of his own circumstances.

Along those lines, Jacob saw his circumstances as big and his God as small.

Notice that his name, even though it was changed at the Jabbok, continually switches back a forth from Jacob and Israel. It is still a mystery on the exact reasons behind this, but consider this:

We see Jacob/Israel continually going back to his old Jacob ways. This could be an indication of his half-hearted following after God and tendency to be hot and cold with God.

I wonder if this is a case of Jacob still wrestling with God?

Jacob desperately needs to get back to being one who is Israel, the one conquered by God.

Being conquered by God means that God’s will and ways are more important than our self-centered wants and desires.

And it often begins with us seeing our God as big and our circumstances as small by comparison.

Jacob’s bitterness resulted in a long, dark period of his life that was devoid of the joy of the Lord.

I see no joy in Jacob until he is reunited with Joseph. This is typical when we allow bitterness to overwhelm us. Bitterness steals joy.

And that can last a long, grueling time, as it did with Jacob.

Joseph’s Lack of Bitterness

If ever someone could have successfully justified bitterness, it would have been Joseph! But we see no indication of bitterness in him at all. In fact, we see a man of great wisdom and compassion.

Joseph’s lack of bitterness stemmed from a deep faith that God was going to ultimately use Joseph’s bad circumstances for good.

As will be established throughout Joseph’s story, Joseph firmly believed that God was taking his bad circumstances and using them for good.

This isn’t to say he reveled in his circumstances, just that he took a wider view of them.

As Jacob saw his big circumstances and a little God, Joseph believed in a big God who was much greater than his circumstances.

This is a great example to follow!

Joseph’s lack of bitterness resulted in Him seeing God use him to save his people.

What Joseph sees unfolding in front of him is God’s plan to save his family from starvation.

When we aren’t ruled by bitterness we are more likely to be open to the leading of God.

Today, God wants to use us to be part of people being saved from their sins. We do this by sharing the Gospel and by showing Christ’s love to others.

But someone ruled by bitterness won’t do this.

Joseph’s lack of bitterness resulted in a joyous reunion with his family.

I believe if Joseph was ruled by bitterness, he wouldn’t have experienced the joyous reunion that is about to come.

Yes, it wasn’t fair that Joseph had to grow up without his family, a slave, then a prisoner, and now the chief administrator of Egypt, but in God’s plans they were necessary to bring about God’s plan of salvation for His people.

And, if Joseph would have held a grudge here against his brothers, the reunion would have be an ugly one.

Getting even might have felt good at first, but long-term it would have been disastrous.

Joseph’s lack of bitterness resulted in him not getting stuck in another pit.

Two times Joseph was stuck in a pit. Once the pit his brothers threw him into. And second into the prison in Egypt.

If he would have been bitter towards his brothers, it would have been a third pit and likely much worst than the other two.

Bitterness causes us to get stuck in a pit. Relationally, emotionally, and spiritually.

So, if you are wrestling with bitterness:

Forgive...

Move beyond your hurts...

Start reminding yourself often that God is bigger than your circumstances...

Confess it to someone who will help...