Identifying with Shame

Identity: Opening

Who do people say that I am?

Who do people say that I am, Jesus asks the disciples. This question of identity is one that we spend much time reflecting on in seminary. We’re constantly exploring the environment in which we grew up to identify the values, beliefs, biases, and privileges that we carry with us. We’re evaluating our context and surroundings and how God works in our lives. This exploration of identity helps us better understand how we relate to Scripture and people and how God’s presence shows up in our lives and community.

The fact is, we all wonder about our identity throughout our lives. Just as Jesus was wondering what the word is on the street of Caesarea Philippi, we too wonder what the word is on the street, in our social circles, among our employers, and within our families… who do people say that I am?

As we mature, we begin to think about the legacy we want to leave behind. How do we want people to remember us? What do we want people to know what we stand for? How will people remember the lives we lived?

Words define who we are. But they also define the institutional structures to which we belong. This, too, is part of our identity. Throughout the history of Methodism, we have had to wrestle with these tough questions to forge our identity.

John Wesley was a strong advocate of the abolishment of slavery. However, American Methodism struggled with the tension of slavery, leading to a split of the Methodist Episcopal Church and the Methodist Episcopal South. When the two finally came to merge, they created a jurisdiction specifically for people of color. It wasn’t until April 1968, when the Methodist Church and the Evangelical United Brethren merged to form the United Methodist Church, that we abolished the Central Jurisdiction, ending segregation in the body of Christ. This is a sin and part of our struggle towards identity.

Methodism also struggled with the ordination of women throughout our history. Again, John Wesley recognized the call and gifts of women to preach the Word of God and licensed women during his time. Yet, in America, there was a back-and-forth between ordaining women. The licensing of female pastors was taken away in 1880 and restored in 1920. It wasn’t until 1956 that they received full clergy rights.

More recently, the United Methodist Church has been struggling with its identity regarding the topic of human sexuality. Whether people created in the image of God have a right to enter into a sacred covenant where they can express love. A right to live fully in the expression in which they were created. A right to find light in desolate lonely darkness. The decades of systematic oppression in which the Church and society have participated have led to scores of gay and lesbian people not having workplace protections whereby they couldn’t build nest eggs. Generations of LGBT siblings who didn’t have rights to survivor benefits for military and social security. All this leads to poverty among older adults in this community. It wasn’t until this year that the United Methodist Church began to recognize and sanction same-sex weddings.

Words matter, and speech matters. It defines who we are, who we strive to be, and how people perceive us. But James reminds us that with our tongue… “we bless the Lord and Father, and with it, we curse people, made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth comes a blessing and a curse.” You see, friends, what we say, write, and share on social media or op-eds says a lot about what we think about God in our hearts. There is an interconnectedness between controlling our tongue or, in today’s age, our thumbs and our holiness.

If holiness in our tradition means “loving God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength.” John Wesley “implies that no wrong temper, none contrary to love, remains in the soul; and that all the thoughts, words, and actions, are governed by pure love.” If holiness means all of this, then we must get control of our speech, our words, and our social media accounts.

Jesus shifts from “Who do people say that I am?” to “But who do you say that I am?” Jesus shifts from wanting to know the popular opinion to the opinion of those closest to him. Jesus seeks an authentic and genuine identification.

Peter correctly views Jesus as the Messiah but misunderstands what it means to be the Messiah. In his mind, it means to be a king, a warrior who has come to fight the Roman empire. After all, they’re addressing the question of identity—what it means to be Messiah in a village named to glorify Cesar as King--Caesarea Philippi.

Jesus rebukes Peter as someone who is looking towards human things. This understanding of who Jesus is and the identity of Jesus is critical, and he begins to teach his disciples—discipleship. He wants them to understand that to be Messiah is to obey the will of the Father, to be in solidarity with the marginalized, to carry shame, to be rejected, to suffer, to die, and to be resurrected after three days.

Shame

When Jesus says, “If any wish to come after me, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” It’s important to recognize that the disciples didn’t know the cross as we know the cross today. What the cross represented in the Roman Empire was a device of torture and a symbol of shame.

What is shame? Psychology Today defines shame as “an emotion that involves negative self-evaluation—believing that something is wrong with you as a person. You may believe that you haven't lived up to certain standards and feel unworthy or inadequate as a result.”

We talked about how words and speech matter. How words and speech define who we are, who we strive to be, how people perceive us, and how we think of God in our hearts. When our speech and words are ungodly, by casting shame on others, we are casting shame on creation. Creation that has been made in the likeness of God.

When we are the recipients of such shame and allow it to fester inside us, we begin to internalize shameful feelings, and we begin to separate ourselves from God and our neighbor.

The cyber-bullying research center suggests that about 30% of teens surveyed said they had been bullied in the last 12 months. Suicide has been the second-leading cause of death for people ages 15-19 in the United States—second only to accidents. James warned us of our tongues; if he were alive today, he’d warn us of our thumbs. Speech matters. Words matter.

When we allow oppressive speech that is hateful and not a reflection of the love God has for all creation, we foster an environment where marginalized people internalize these feelings of shame.

For gay and lesbian people, it’s internalized homophobia, where they begin to take on the hatred, stigma, and biases of the oppressors and begin to hate themselves and view themselves as unworthy. The Trevor Project in 2022 found that 45% of all LGBTQIA+ youth seriously considered suicide within the past year.

For people of color, it’s internalized racism: the internalization of the racist stereotypes, values, images, and ideologies perpetuated by the white dominant society about one racial group. As a result, people begin to accommodate the oppressor, giving up their cultural heritage to fit into the majority.

I could go on and on about shame… The stigma of mental health, the stigma of addiction… How about consumerism and the shame it creates in us? Consumerism has done a disservice in allowing us to be led to a uniformity of what beauty looks like, how we spend our time, and much more.

The good news is, my friends, that Jesus breaks the bonds of sin and shame. Jesus does not accommodate the oppressor; Jesus embraces our cultural identities and welcomes Jews and Gentiles to the table. Jesus tells us that we are holy, that we are righteous, that we are sacred. St. Paul reminds the Corinthian community of this when he says, “It is because of God that you are in Christ Jesus. He became wisdom from God for us. This means that he made us righteous and holy, and he delivered us.”

In our closing hymn, we’ll sing, "Take up thy cross, nor heed the shame, nor let thy foolish pride rebel; thy Lord for thee the cross endured, to save thy soul from death and hell." Let us pick up our cross and our shame and follow. We are to do this in the community—as a group of disciples who follow Jesus.

Yes, my friends, Jesus was a liberator. The plan wasn’t to come and liberate the Jews from the Roman Empire. No, my friends, Jesus had his sights set much higher. Jesus came to defeat sin, shame, and darkness for all and to provide everlasting life!

Identity: Closing

We have all encountered shame at one point or another in our life. But I want you to know that you are sacred, you are holy, you are made in the image of God as James reminds us.

Being made in the image of God, we are given the gift of freedom—the gift to choose between truth and falsehood, light and darkness, holy and sin, life-giving speech, and life-limiting speech.

Faith in Jesus raises us from the spiritual death of the shame we carry inside ourselves and opens the path toward restoring us to the image of God. We are invited to live more in Christ.

When we learn to control our speech, our words, and our social media accounts and embody Jesus, the more our bodies become dead to sin, and we experience true life. The more we open ourselves up to perfect love. Love that excludes sin and fills the heart. The more we move towards Christian perfection.

Imagine a world where perfect love abounds. Imagine a world where suicide doesn’t exist, a world where schools and highways are free of gun violence, a world where people feel comfortable with their bodies, and a world that reflects the diversity of God’s creation in culture, gender, ability, and sexuality. Just imagine…

You, Covenant, have begun this work towards perfection in yourselves and as a community. Your bold step of leading the pack in becoming a reconciling congregation where you welcome all whom God brings into this faith community, reflecting the universal and inclusive love of Jesus Christ.

Through the emergence of a global pandemic, you have transformed your ministry to reach more people; you have innovated the way you connect with the community and serve your neighbors. You have identified food insecurity as a need and formed strong partnerships with the formation of Covenant Table and Wegmans.

Over the next year, we’re evaluating our identity as a community. We’re looking at what living in Christ, and community looks like post-COVID. We’re making plans for a fellowship hike, craft projects with youth, Lenten dinner, and all ministries designed to be inclusive, encouraging, and building up the body of Christ.

As you move into the coming days—listen to your body, listen to your soul. Adopt a good ole’ fashion Wesleyan spiritual practice and ask yourself, ask your neighbor: “how is it with your soul today?” Take your troubles, whatever shame is built up, to the cross. Jesus overcame shame and released it for us. God extends grace to us, and through the ministry of Jesus, we were given many gifts, one of them community. Celebrate, live, and love in the community. In the name of our Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer who makes us whole, Amen.