Reflecting Christ’s Love in All Relationships
Ephesians • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Review
Last week, Tony spoke on Ephesians 5:22-33 highlighting the relationship between Christ and the Church as a model for marriage.
We learned that just as Jesus loves the Church selflessly, giving Himself up for her (Romans 5:8), husbands are called to love their wives in the same way.
This love is an action.
We were shown the importance of being "washed with the word" (John 4:14), suggesting that regular engagement with Scripture, Prayer, and Fasting, strengthens both faith and marriage.
Wives reflect the love their husbands provide.
We were reminded that marriage involves leaving one’s family to unite with a spouse (Genesis 2:24), creating a bond that represents mutual love and respect (1 Peter 3:7).
Ultimately, the relationship between husbands and wifes serves as a powerful example of how Jesus loves, showcasing selfless love and commitment, to the world.
Christian character
Christian character
Tonight we will go over Eph 6: 1-9, however, let us open our bibles to Ephesians 5 : 19-21.
While you are turning there I wanted to touch on how in Ephesians 6: 1-9, we will be taking this example of Jesus’ love to other relationships in our lives.
First to our children, then to people outside our families.
With our hearts filled with the Spirit, and exuding the love of Christ to all.
We read, in Ephesians 5: 19-21; that while showing the love of Christ to others, we will experience Joy (v. 19), Gratitude (v. 20), and Obedience (v. 21).
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Then, In Colossians 3:16-17; we read
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Paul exhorts us to let the word of Christ dwell in us, reinforcing these in us.
Doing ALL in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Warren Wiersbe said it well, “The marks of a Spirit-filled Christian are not unusual emotional experiences, miracles, and tongues, but rather Christian character.”
Now let us turn to Ephesians Chapter 6,
We read verses 1-4.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
As to the Lord
As to the Lord
To understand the frame in which Paul is speaking, we briefly reflect on Ephesians 5: 22.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Ephesians 5: 22 ; Ends with - as to the Lord.
This is the Modus Operandi to which we must adhere.
Modus Operandi, meaning: a particular way or method of doing something, especially one that is characteristic or well-established.
In this “way” we reflect Christ,
- Wives are to respect their husbands as they would to Christ
- Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church
- Children are to obey their parents as they would the Lord.
When family members are doing these things for the Lord, the result is they will be in harmony with one another.
Children
Children
Starting with Children,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Proverbs 6:20 states,
My son, keep your father’s command,
And do not forsake the law of your mother.
Colossians 3: 20
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
Clearly this is God’s will for children.
Verse 2 and 3 -
“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Deut 5 : 16 tells us,
‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
So - Obedience is an action, and honor is an attitude.
It’s with honor, timaō (tim-ah'-o).
It actually can be used to mean awe or respect. It’s used in John 5:23 of honoring God and honoring Christ.
So this is how you obey: with honor.
This means the attitude and the action.
that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.
Jesus as a child
Jesus as a child
Luke 2 : 52 says concerning Jesus, He “kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.
Now, without any sin and perfectly righteous, Jesus still needed to grow in wisdom, physical development, and gain favor with both God and people.
Development in Children
Development in Children
These are the four categories in which children develop.
- Wisdom is mental
- Stature is physical
- Favor with men is social
- Favor with God is spiritual
That being said none of us are perfect, or righteous, or sinless like Jesus.
So we must understand what we’re dealing with.
We are tasked to raise them with disciple and instruction to grow mentally, physically, socially, spiritually.
We teach them to think, we teach them how to crawl and walk, we teach them to talk to people, we teach them to talk to God.
This is our responsibility.
In which we should be prepared for.
We are have complete thoughts, we are fully grown, we are capable of complete conversation and interaction with others, we have a relationship with God.
We may still be learning and developing but as parents we are still fully capable of bringing up our children the Lord. You are the model, the example in which they will learn directly or indirectly from.
This starts with teaching them to obey, hupakouō, (hoop-ah-koo'-oh) / to obey, be obedient to, submit to;
from which we get “acoustic.” It starts with them listening.
This involves them paying attention and following your instructions. It's important to consistently teach them to listen and obey.
So, does this mean the child must obey in all things?
Matthew 10, 37 “If you don’t love Me more than father or mother, you can’t be My disciple.”
He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
This means that children should obey their parents when their parents are following God's teachings. However, if parents go against what the Bible says, children should not follow those commands. A child's main responsibility is to obey their parents as long as their parents are teaching and following God’s commands.
Proverbs 22 : 15, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.”
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
If you want your children to have a fulfilling, happy, and peaceful life, guide them towards obedience and respect. To help them live a long and healthy life, free from trouble caused by their own mistakes and lack of self-control, you need to discipline them.
Parents
Parents
Treatment of Children
Treatment of Children
Verse 4, which I have been to many times
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Let’s look at the word “fathers”; that’s patēr in the Greek, and it can be “fathers,” as it’s translated.
But it also can mean “parents,” and the same exact word is used in Hebrews 11:23 to speak of the parents of Moses.
“Do not provoke your children to wrath”
During this time in history, this concept wasn’t normal.
Several places in the Bible dictates the law regarding a disobedient child.
Leviticus 20 : 9
‘For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him.
The culture in the time Paul was writing this letter was quite harsh in regards to the treatment of children.
In ancient Rome, the power of the father over his children, known as patria potestas “power of a father”, was absolute and extensive.
Originally, this authority included not only control over the personal lives of his children but also a right to inflict capital punishment. The father held exclusive rights in private law, meaning that any acquisitions or property obtained by a child were legally considered the father’s.
Though the father might grant a child, akin to a slave, some property to manage as his own, legally it remained under the father's ownership.
Patria potestas typically ended only with the father's death, though a father could choose to free a child through emancipation. Additionally, a daughter would be released from the father's control if, upon marriage, she came under her husband’s manus—a corresponding power the husband had over his wife.
The father’s authority extended to life and death decisions over his children, including those adopted into the family. This power included the ability to sell them into slavery, force them into labor, or subject them to harsh punishments, including death.
At birth, a Roman child was placed at the father’s feet. If the father picked up the child, it signified his decision to allow the child to live; if he turned away, the child would be abandoned, often left in the Forum to become a slave or prostitute.
Seneca, a Stoic philosopher from the time of Christ, remarked on the brutal treatment of children, especially weak or deformed infants. This reflects the harsh realities of child-rearing and the brutal standards of the Roman world.
Thus what Paul is saying, during this period of time, is revolutionary.
There are many ways that parents can provoke thier children:
- **Overprotection**:
Micro-managing
Never trusting them,
Never giving them freedom
- **Favoritism**:
Comparing them to siblings or others
Showing preference
- **Unrealistic Expectations**:
Too high of standards
based on your own pride or ambition.
- **Discouragement**:
Negative reinforcement
Lack of thanks
Lack of Approval
makes them feel they must earn your love.
- **Selfishness**:
Failing to sacrifice for them,
Making them feel like an inconvience
not show them Jesus’ sacrificial love.
- **Impatience**:
Not allowing for mistakes
such as spilling things or being impatient with their development.
- **Neglect**:
Absence
“When you are disciplining a child, you should have first controlled yourself… What right have you to say to your child that he needs discipline when you obviously need it yourself?” (Lloyd-Jones, D. Martyn)
Training and Admonition
Training and Admonition
The end of verse 4 states “but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”
Training (paideia, pahee-di'-ah) is the same word translated chastening in Hebrews 12:5-11.
Strong’s defines it as the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals) It also includes the training and care of the body
“It has the idea of training through corrective discipline. Admonition has more of the idea of teaching — both are necessary, though it may be significant that training comes first.” (David Guzik)
Influence of Parenting
Influence of Parenting
Remember that which you give to your child shapes their character.
For example:
- Criticism teaches condemnation.
- Hostility leads to fighting.
- Ridicule makes them shy.
- Shame fosters guilt.
However,
- Tolerance encourages patience.
- Encouragement builds confidence.
- Praise fosters appreciation.
- Fairness instills a sense of justice.
- Security builds trust.
- Approval helps them build self-esteem.
- Acceptance and friendship teach love.
Goal of Parenting
Goal of Parenting
Aim for love, obedience to God and righteousness.
Start early, as Paul advised Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:15
and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
1. Love - Teach the Gospel
1. Love - Teach the Gospel
Educate your children about God, Christ, and sin.
Teach them to repent, reject what dishonors God, love and trust Jesus, and follow Him faithfully.
Replace foolishness with wisdom through gospel teachings.
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
In other words, you train the child, you get the product.
It is crucial for the father to provide leadership and discipline, while the mother offers love and care.
The visible affection between both parents, along with their mutual respect and care for each other, plays a significant role in creating a secure and close-knit family environment.
This dynamic fosters a strong sense of security for the child and strengthens family bonds.
Don’t let your family fall apart.
2. Obedience - Fear the Lord
2. Obedience - Fear the Lord
First, teach your children to have a reverent respect for the Lord. This involves more than just being afraid; it’s about cultivating a respectful awe of God's judgment.
As Proverbs 9:10 states, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding."
Begin by introducing them to God and helping them understand who He is.
3. Righteousness - Speak the Truth
3. Righteousness - Speak the Truth
Teach your child to always speak the truth. Emphasize both fearing God and being truthful. Proverbs highlights that truthful words are enduring, life-giving, and valuable like choice silver. They are satisfying, nourishing, and bring healing and deliverance because they are true, kind, wise, honest, pure, gentle, and slow to anger. These are the qualities of speech that honor the Lord.
John 4: 24
“God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”
Reflect Christ to your children by being a worshiper of God and a lover of truth.
Instill in your children a respect for God and a passion for truth through loving discipline, consistency, and leading by example.
When you do this, your children will become a joy and delight not only to you but to everyone around them.
At times, raising children, and working for a living seems impossible, trust me I understand.
1. We must remember, that at a time when Pharaoh was drowning babies, Moses, the savior of his people, was born!
2. At a time when Jewish children were born in the slavery of Babylon, some godly parents raised a young man like Daniel who stood for God!
3. When Herod was murdering all the male children, God's own Son, and Savior of the world was born!
a) No matter how tough the world gets, we can still raise Godly kids with HIS help!
Mark 10: 27
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.
Bondservants and Masters
Bondservants and Masters
Moving onto verses 5-9.
Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.
And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.
Context of the times
Context of the times
This passage offers practical and direct guidance on God’s design for employment and work relationships.
Again we dive into the historical context: in these times, most people worked within a family setting in an agrarian society.
They farmed land, raised animals, or produced crafts from home. If/when they needed additional help, they would form work relationships or contracts with others who came to work for them.
This context is crucial to understand the situation in which workers and employers often lived closely together, rather than working in a separate environment like we see today.
Thus, the relationships were more personal.
It is interesting that the word "obedient" in verse 5, is the same Greek word used for the Children in verse 1 "obey your parents, for this is right."
Slavery
Slavery
The “as to Christ” at the end of verse 5 brings us back to our Modus Operandi or way which we must operate.
Thus reinforcing that our work relationships are another area where we must reflect Christ in our lives.
We should demonstrate our spiritual growth through joyful worship, consistent gratitude, and a willingness to be respectful and cooperative with those around us.
A Slave for Christ
A Slave for Christ
not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,
Christ redeemed us with His own blood.
He loved us, purchased us, and adopted us as His sons and daughters. He has promised to provide everything we need, offering us all spiritual blessings in the heavenly realms through Christ.
He has committed to being our Savior, our source of strength, our protector, and our security. Additionally, He has promised that one day He will gather us to Himself in His kingdom, where He is preparing a place for us. He will reward us eternally with an everlasting reward stored up for us in heaven.
Truth of time
Truth of time
We will spend a significant portion of your life working alongside the same colleagues. Although you may meet many people over time, you will often be with the same team for years.
The average full-time worker spends around forty-two years on the job, totaling between 90,000 - 100,000 hours.
This means you have a substantial amount of time and interaction with people who need to witness what Christianity truly looks like.
That is your mission: to represent Christ through your work.
It’s important to recognize that, for a Christian, there is no such thing as a secular job.
Every job is sacred.
Your true boss is not the person you think is in charge but Christ Himself.
Mature people do more than is required, not to earn points or get special recognition but because they consider themselves “slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from [their] heart” (Eph. 6:6).
Warren W. Wiersbe
A Christ-Like Attitude
A Christ-Like Attitude
Verses 7-8,
with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.
In 1 Timothy 6:1-2, we find straightforward guidance for work relationships. This is a general directive to honor your master fully. The reason for this is so that “the name of God and His doctrine will not be spoken against.” If you act rebelliously or poorly at work, you undermine the credibility of the gospel.
Let as many bondservants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and His doctrine may not be blasphemed. And those who have believing masters, let them not despise them because they are brethren, but rather serve them because those who are benefited are believers and beloved. Teach and exhort these things.
Moreover, if you have a Christian employer, instead of taking advantage of their kindness, you should serve them even more diligently.
Remember, those benefiting from your work are fellow believers who are beloved.
This principle should be taught and applied in our lives.
So submit to your boss, even if they are unreasonable.
Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.
In Titus 2:9-10, we are instructed to urge slaves to be obedient and pleasing in every respect, avoiding arguments and theft, and showing good faith. This conduct will reflect well on the doctrine of God our Savior. Your actions in the workplace should align with your Christian values.
Obedience is the right action, viewed from the perspective that this is a temporary, earthly role.
Colossians 3 reinforces that work is earthly and temporary. The attitude should be one of respect and reverence, “with fear and trembling,” which means taking the job seriously and respecting authority.
Your fear and trembling are not directed at your boss but at Christ, as your true Master.
Your work is ultimately a service to Him.
Integrity and sincerity are paramount, and you must approach your work with honesty and dedication, as if working for Christ.
In Revelation 22, Jesus promises, “Behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give to every man according as his work shall be.” Christ gives eternal rewards based on faithfulness, not earthly rank.
Although there is an authority structure, God evaluates each person based on how they serve Him, and He rewards accordingly.
Closing Application
Closing Application
In closing I’d like to read a story that demostrates the focus we should have upon our savior.
As I rounded the bend in the road this morning I noticed a man walking his dog. There are a lot of folks walking their dogs early in the morning on my route. I am a school bus driver. This man was about my age and had a young Irish Setter on a leash. “Red”, as I called him, was no longer a puppy but not quite a full grown dog yet, and clearly had passed his obedience training with flying colors. My bus is 40 feet long, big and bright yellow, and noisy – very noisy. Most of the dogs along the route will scamper about either trying to hide behind their Master or attempting to break the leash and attack my bus. (I wonder, what in the world does a dog think he could do with a 28,000 lb. school bus?) But, mostly they bark their alarms and take their defensive stance against this huge, yellow monster careening down upon them so early in the day. Not this dog. As the man watched me come round the bend in the road he simply stopped, looked down at Red and gave the command to “sit,” which Red did immediately. Most of the dogs along my route would do the same, along with barking and fidgeting with fear. Not this dog. Red simply kept his eyes fixed on the Master, not concerned with anything but him. To Red there was no yellow monster. To Red there was no thunderous noise. To Red there was only the Master. Red had abandoned all but his loving, trusting gaze on his Master’s face until my bus passed by without incident. Then, the man quietly and gently gave another command to Red and they calmly walked on into their peaceful, morning routine. I was stricken by the overwhelming calm and trust Red had with his Master. I wondered if that is how Jesus wants me to react to all the thunderous noises in my life, all the “yellow monsters” that pose any threat to me. Red seemed at Peace. Peace. Red trusted his Master. Trust. I learned a little something about Peace and Trust from a dog and his Master while driving a school bus early this morning.
Just as Red’s trust in his master allowed him to remain calm amidst the chaos, we must trust in our Lord and honor His word in our relationships with family, friends, and even in our workplaces.
Pray
- Thanks for Your Son
- Thanks for your Word
- FIlled with the spirit
- Directed by Your word
- Trust in your guidance
- Turn our eyes upon you, Jesus
Let Look full in Your wonderful face
And notice the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of Your glory and grace
As we go forth this week, let us embody the heart of the scripture “As to the Lord”. Let us reflect His love and peace in all our interactions. In doing so, we not only strengthen our own faith but also draw others closer to the heart of Christ.